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Thread: Survey (success with coming out to SO)

  1. #26
    Silver Member kittypw GG's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    So what if it ends the relationship??? Would you want to be with someone who does not support all of you? Think about that and just be honest. Let me warn you that if you keep this a secret so you can get married and have WILL suffer, at least to some degree in the future. BE HONEST PLEASE.

  2. #27
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Area Zona
    First wife, sorta pretended to be OK with it until she got pictures for her attorney. That plan backfired miserably.

    Current wife, not at all thrilled. DADT and she doesn't want to see me dressed at all. All of my clothes are in closets and drawers in my man cave with pairs of Carla's shoes lining the wall and a chair piled with bras and stuff. I get the occasional snotty comment but it's understood that we each need to enjoy our lives. I never let the pink fog cloud my judgement but, I certainly wouldn't just stop crossdressing so as to appear to be someone else's version of proper.
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  3. #28
    Member Chrissy52's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    On the gulf coast
    A2 b2

  4. #29
    Member ronny0's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    South West USA
    A = 3
    B = 3
    A + B = 6

    PS: She bought me a new dress for Easter...

  5. #30
    Member Dannigirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Ontario, Canada
    When I was in my teens (many years ago) I told my GF, she seemed to have fun with it and gave me makeup and clothes and we went out a couple of times with me dressed and then either the relationship ran its' course or she decided it wasn't something she could deal with anymore.

    For current relationship we have been together 8 years, I told her after 2 or 3 years and we are all good. She is 100% fine with it all and buys me stuff and takes me shopping and will go anywhere with me anytime. She says whatever makes me happy as long as it isn't murder or being with somebody else.

    Sorry I would use your rating system but I forgot what it was and don't want to go back a page in case I lose my answer !

  6. #31
    The Girl Next Door Sally24's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    New England
    A3 B3

    We've been married 36 years and usually do pretty well. I told her before we were engaged so I definitely encourage early sharing.

  7. #32
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    waimate new zealand

    Married 35 years known each other 40 years, I told Jos I was a female after 24 years together as married.

    Took 8 years for Jos to accept because im intersex and being different Jos and others accepted that ,

    ,success no, trying to understand is not so easy let alone know what its like, yes we stayed together for 14 more years, had our marrage anuuld and Jos has remarried, we are still close as friends / sisters we still talk about things and do a few things as we have allways done,

    i would doubt very much any woman would or will be interested in a friendship or relastionship
    any way therell be very few who dont know my history . and that goes back over 10 years and I told Jos over 20 years ago,


  8. #33
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    Rocky start - but still together (39 years married) and I do dress and do not hide it

  9. #34
    New Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    B3, I came out to my SO after about a month of dating, when I could see that things were progressing well and getting serious, and she was very accepting. Although in the past I had an 'A1' where after a year or so of dating my GF found my stuff. After that I decided that it was best to bring it up early in the relationship because it will come out sooner or later and by bringing it up myself I could control the way that it was presented.

  10. #35
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    My wife is not over enthusiastic but shares adventures with me.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  11. #36
    New Member Emily43's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2014

    As for past relationships that would be a-2 (we split after 12 years)

  12. #37
    Gold Member Alice B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    San Diego
    A-3 for me

  13. #38
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    A-3 It was definitely a bump in the road after 20 years of marriage but we got past it.

    B-3 We share both sides of me and have a great time doing it!
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  14. #39
    Member Taylor Dame's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2011
    Upstate NY
    A-2, B-2. My SO has known for a number of years, but it has remained basically DADT. We have been married 34 years, and I love her and respect her wishes. We were shopping at Ross this February and she bought me a skirt, so things seem to be gradually working out for the best.
    "When you come to a fork in the road, Take it!" - Yogi Berra
    I guess I did!

  15. #40
    Jackie njcddresser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Out and about
    A - 3
    b - 3

  16. #41
    Dani Dani0948's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Chicago Suburb
    I"m a B1. With a little luck and a lot of courage maybe I can get to a higher number later this year (after daughter's wedding).

  17. #42
    GG / SO to a CD MatildaJ.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    SF Bay Area
    As a GG, it seems to me that a significant factor is how much of your time /interest /sexual energy goes into CDing, and how much is left for being a sociable companion who shares some of your SO's interests.

    If our preferences in bed no longer overlap, and our hobbies and interests no longer overlap, then it's going to be harder to maintain a relationship over time, and either person may start wondering why they are still together.

  18. #43
    Member Ann Thomas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Orange County, CA, USA
    A: 2
    B: 2

    I'm of the opinion that in today's world, where I live, I would be honest on the first date about who I am, or even before. It's not worth putting the time into a relationship where the other person could fall in love with an image that is created for their enjoyment, and not yours as well. Life is just too short - they need to love all of you or it's not worth it.


  19. #44
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    R2, wait!...that's one of the robots from Star Wars. A2 B2 for the purposes of this survey, actually.

    Strictly DADT in my case. Some glacial movement forward and grudging acceptance of my CDing after 40+ years of marriage, but it's still a huge elephant in the room. I'm at the point where I simply don't care anymore and just do my thing because I understand now that my wife's aversion to my CDing is less about the concept itself, and more of a manifestation of her need to be a control freak in all other aspects of our relationship as well.

    The guilt is gone now since I've had this epiphany (counselling has helped open my eyes to this aspect), and I see my wife's uncompromising attitude towards my crossdressing and her rejection of my transgenderism as being more her problem at this point than mine...

  20. #45
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    East coast
    A3 B3 and very lucky

  21. #46
    Junior Member RachaelInLv's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Las Vegas, NV
    a-3 and b-3. She was a little taken by surprise when I first told her and it took her a little time to wrap her head around it but it all worked out fine.

  22. #47
    Member Marguarite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    north of Annapolis,MD
    Hi Julie,

    A3, B3 like most things my wife was ahead of the curve and knew I would be serious about dressing before I did.

  23. #48
    Just can't help myself! Brenda456's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    A-2, B-2 in my case. It may get to a B-3. Maybe.

  24. #49
    Junior Member Trinity Sue's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Westfield Area Ma.
    A-3 B-3 I came out to my wife . She is truly awesome ! 20years and counting !

  25. #50
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Neither apply to me but keep in mind that many of the A1s didn't/don't stick around long. They obviously can't answer. [the ones who decided to spill the beans AFTER coming to this Forum]

    And your B2? It's DADT. Which comes in MANY flavors per all the folks who post here and keep their Relationship intact. The ones who value their RELATIONSHIP more than their CDing.

    Of course DADT can't work unless the GG allows it. It IS a compromise from her but just something that many here have issues with obviously.

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