Sexism today. Alive and well!

[suzy1]

Sexism is still a big problem in the world.
First a little about one of my ‘other’ interests. I debate online. I have been a debater for a number of years. The subject I debate on is not important but it’s a subject that gets a lot of interest and sometimes heated arguments as well.
I present as Suzy, a female. I think this is O.K. because I am transgender and also there have been many authors that write under a pseudonym, sometimes of the opposite sex.
Its been fascinating how I have been treated over the years by many men on debating sites.
It usually goes something like this. I make a comment but keep it simple. I then start getting replies like ‘you need to do your research darling’ or go ask you husband’.
Sometimes I am even ignored my all the men debating on the subject.
So then I crank it up a bit by making my next comment highly scientific and impossible refute by the ‘know it all’ men.
So what happens next? I get ignored and other ‘men’ take my argument and use it for themselves.
Makes you feel a little sorry for the woman out there doesn't it..

[Annaliese]

I feel sorry for the men that are so insecure about them self, they have to beat up on woman to make them self's feel better about them self's.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Suzy, You need to call them out on it.

[Beverley Sims]

My daughter likes to buy cars, the salesmen always want to sell her a small pink one.

She wants a big black truck and knows what power is needed under the bonnet.

She never buys the truck because the salesmen always want to put her down.

[kimdl93]

Fascinating, truly fascinating view of men. God forbid they shoud ever be arguably wrong!

[docrobbysherry]

I'm NOT proud of it and have tried for years to stop thinking that way.

Unfortunately, my FIRST reaction is, and always has been, to judge women on their looks!

So, isn't it ironic that Sherry gets hit on so often by men because of her hot photos on her FB page? They often don't care that I'm a straight man. Or, even a 70 y/o one! They r simply overwhelmed by the desire to do something sexual to/with me!

On the other hand? I've learned first hand what it's like to be on the other side of being an attractive woman! I could wrap some of these "sexist" guys around my little finger if I cared to!

[Teresa]

Suzy you can see this clearly in TV(UK) debates very rarely is a female allowed to have her say and when she does she gets cut short ! For some reason guys seem to think debating is an all male arena, I suppose if you look at like that it's verbal gladiatorial combat ! The one with the strongest voice but not the best argument wins the day !
Have you tried debating using a male name ? If so did it make a difference ?

[noeleena]

Hi,

many of the men still think they are top dog, and god's gift to women. yet treat us like trash . to do with as they wish more so in some country's because they have ruled over women for so long , i wont go in to it just look at 1890's - 1920's and how men treated us then and what our women stood up for,

Will men ever wake up no because they use force to get what they wont,
sad how insecure many men are,

i know what men can do, Mom and i took the brunt of that many years ago. and the force and anger shown to try and kill us tells me and its the same to day so with in just under 67 years i;v not seen the change that men are getting the message that its not allright to just do what ever they wont,

Many men are not capable of understanding the basic right of life, more so for women, or children, and we are still treated as nothing just a something to be used and discarded,

...noeleena...

[Marcelle]

Hi Suzy,

Very interesting and I do note that when my wife and I are doing things together if we are interacting with a man he will always tend to address me. Now before anyone wants to hoist me on my own petard here . . . bear with me. While some may see this attitude is sexist (the man talking to the man) and may well be "passive sexism", sometimes we are just more comfortable speaking to our own gender . . . "He is a guy, I am a guy and we can relate." Funny enough, when we go to our veterinarian who is a wonderful woman, when she is talking about the pets to us . . . she speaks to my wife and I am basically sidelined. Once again I think this is just a comfort thing.

However it is funny how presentation can flavor how people treat you. I was out "en femme" and looking for a specific part at an auto part store. Now the guy clearly knew I was a guy and he was very polite but our interaction would have been very different if I was "en boy". Something akin to "(ME) I have problem x and I need part y" . . . "(HIM) No problem sir let me look". However it went more like this "

(ME) I have problem x and I need part y"

(HIM) Hmm are you sure about that, sometimes cars can be funny and you think that is the problem. Have you taken it to a mechanic for an opinion? I could look at if you like miss.

(ME) Thanks anyway but I am sure Turns out he did not have the part so . . .

(HIM) Sorry we don't carry it at present. I could recommend an auto wrecker but you might find it a bit dirty. How about I order the part for you?

Dirty? Did he say dirty? I wonder if he would be surprised to find out I spent a lot of time in some really nasty and dirty places . . . Oh well (ME) The auto wrecker will be fine

Was he sexist? Possibly but then again he may have thought he was being polite . . . hard to say. At least he didn't tell me to go ask my husband.

Hugs

Isha

[Secret Drawer]

In argumentive conversations, typically women wait for their turn while typically men "talk over" one another. This is why it often ends up a shouting match. I actually adapt the more feminine approach because A. it is more polite, and B. it gives you a chance to consider what is being said and respond with a much better counter argument (or see where the argument is becoming flawed). Perhaps this is yet another "place" where some of us find ourselves not quite square on the "man" line on the gender scale?

[CrossJess]

Was he sexist? Possibly but then again he may have thought he was being polite . . . hard to say. At least he didn't tell me to go ask my husband.

Hugs

Isha

It's the same for us gay guys as well I grant you I'm a very feminine one.... this is about how I get treated to, when I dress I make it clear that I look like a guy lol trouble is I try to man up and try to look hard but damn I just look as gay as they come and even I get treated like a woman, but working on cars is what I love doing the most but I still get treated a bit unfairly, some of the guys that serve me think I'm taking the piss when I say I like fix cars hmmm they look at me as to say "yea right" the only time I get taken seriously is when I go into in depth conversion about what part i need and why it's gone and how it works then they look at me differently, where as before they were picturing a guy dressed in girls clothes changing a head gasket lol it has all the hallmarks of garage page 3 calender

[Kate Simmons]

"Typical" male behavior Hon. Aren't you glad that we are different?

[Katey888]

Suzy dear,

I think what you've described is the last resort of some males that you've successfully forced onto their back foot! ("Oh crikey! How do I answer that? I'm stuffed! I know.... You're just a WOMAN! Ha!")

Do I feel sorry for women over this - yes, in a way - but I've been treated like that as a male as well, sometimes I think just because I'm not large of stature or have a deep, projecting voice... I'm afraid the business world is like that for a lot of women and some guys - but over time you develop a persona to get over that, as I think some women do...

We're also just back to that thing about 90% of folk out there (particularly in the 'male' world...) just being eejits a lot of the time. I would guess that we, as a community, hopefully show a lot more respect to our sisters in real life...

Katey x

[Kate T]

Funny enough, when we go to our veterinarian who is a wonderful woman, when she is talking about the pets to us . . . she speaks to my wife and I am basically sidelined. Once again I think this is just a comfort thing.

Umm actually no. It is sort of a reverse sexist thing. Women typically are more observant than men and often more empathic. Also, typically, they have more experience in dealing with sick things e.g. children. Consequently we generally get far more and more reliable information from female owners than male owners so I will usually address the female owner if there is a male and female owner present.
Oh, yeah, I'm a male vet.
On the OP. Big time. Really, BIG time. Men and society generally still treat women and sexual objects there for the use and interest of men.

[Asche]

Hi Suzy, You need to call them out on it.

However, be aware that under that rock of sexism, there's usually some pretty vile misogyny lurking.

If they believe you're a woman, you might have to endure years of daily hate mail, death and rape threats, and (if you're really lucky) websites set up just to post awful things about you. That's what happened to Rebecca Watson when she (publicly) said, "guys, don't do that" in reference to a man hitting on her in an elevator at 4 a.m.

But if they find out you're male (or used to be), then you might get the whole tranny-hate thing instead. And/or doxxing.

[suchacutie]

Unfortunately it's not just sexist but age and other target groups. My wife walks into a certain electronics store and is completely ignored for 10 minutes while being circled by unoccupied SAs. She walked out. I walked in (male mode) and was deluged with SAs. I walked out and my daughter tries it having my experience. My wife tries again and is ignored. She just has the wrong profile for someone who is there to spend money.

But Suzy, your experience is on of the reasons Tina has no interest in men.

[Tracii G]

Debating is for elderly men with small penises. LOL
Arguing just for the sake of arguing seems futile to me.
I understand debating is a past time in England and you enjoy it sounds like and thats OK.
I have found that sexist attitude on a few sites where I'm just another woman. There was one time where a guy blasted me for a comment and he said women need to "stay in the kitchen" to which I backed out of the conversation.
Over a 3 day period I can't tell you how many PM's I got from other women saying how wrong that jerk was.
I guess he thinks he won the battle with the "little lady" but I won by making some great new friends.