Public Mocking of CD'ing?

[AprilMayy<3]

So as some of you know I am still a senior in High School(18 though, don't worry!). Like every year, the school makes the prom court contestants wear/do something embarrassing to build up hype for prom. This year, the prom king contestants have to wear a prom dress to school, heels, bra, etc etc
Personally, this annoys the crap outta me! I mean, here I am super feminine, freaking out about anyone seeing me and having a panic attack over it, and there they are getting to do every thing I've wanted to do but have been too scared to do it. And a small other thing about, which leads to my title, obviously the guys aren't(more than likely)real CD'ers which causes to them to just look funny. As in no wig, unshaved legs, no makeup etc(No girl would wear a dress and heels with hairy legs!). I get that they aren't meant to go for that look, but it just really annoys me.
Being who I am and wanting to wear that as much as I can and would actually try to pass for a girl while wearing it, I feel as if I'm being secretly and subtly mocked. Any one else feel this way, as this also happens at other times through out the year(Halloween for instance)? It just seems to me that the whole CD community is mocked when this happens. Maybe April is too sensitive to this stuff, regardless I'm annoyed!

[Nadine Spirit]

On the one hand I agree with you. It is sort of like dressing up in black face. At one time is was acceptable, and considered to be funny. But nowadays, more than a bit uncouth, huh?

On the other hand, if someone dresses up a fisherman for Halloween, are they mocking fisherman?

Hmm... I will be interested in any of the other's opinions. Hmm....?????

[Tracii G]

I wouldn't worry about it tell the guys they look pretty and ask them to the prom that way you are doing the mocking.
You could go to the prom enfemme and have the last laugh.
When I was a junior in HS I went to the prom enfemme at the request of a few of my best GF's.They did my hair and make up and loaned me a dress.
To me it felt awesome to be all girl for the first time.
I heard people asking who that girl was because no one recognized me I guess they figured I was from another school.
It was a fun time and I got to dance with a few cute guys and dance with my GF's too.

[Eryn]

Expressing disapproval of discriminatory practices does not out you. If you feel strongly about this you should speak up.

Acceptance comes in odd ways, though. To laugh at us they still have to acknowledge us, and that is a step in the right direction.

[Tina_gm]

I think I understand some of what you are feeling. By having the boys wear dresses and heels as a ritual of embarrassment and a joke. A lot of laughing and giggling, silly comments get made. It puts an overall negative spin on dressing. I don't think it is all that bad. I do not think the ritual should be ended, for most it is all in good fun. I do understand how it feels for you though.

[Persephone]

I agree with you, it is a questionable practice and could be offensive to more than just CD's/TG's. After all, what does it say about being a girl/woman in our society?

While I generally believe that one should clearly stand up for their beliefs, perhaps an anonymous letter to the principal pointing out the many reasons that this is inappropriate would be in order?

Now that you are 18 and have access to transportation of one sort or another, perhaps you can also find some safe and comfortable way to crossdress a bit away from your community?

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Jenelle]

I am torn on this. I completely understand how you feel about the school event but there is a part of me that says "The world can be a cruel place, you have to fight through it at times." As for how you feel about Halloween, I am with Nadine. It is just Halloween and people dress up as all kinds of things. I wonder how all those unsexy cops feel on Halloween.

Since this is a school event, if you feel so inclined, you could go to the administration and bring up the issue this can been seen as very insensitive to TGs. Of course there is a very good chance there well be backlash to doing this, especially if you are not out. A safer way might be to contact a local LGBT activist group and inform them of what is happening and how it makes you fell. They might take the fight up for you.

[reb.femme]

...................On the other hand, if someone dresses up a fisherman for Halloween, are they mocking fisherman?.................

Hey! I'm a fisherman and I like to get my.....no no no, cut! I agree with Nadine.

For me, it's not really a nasty parody as much a way for said contestants to be ritually humiliated in front of their peers. Just take it for what it is, a school bash and high spirits.

Rebecca

[sexycindy]

I agree with you totally, my University for LGBT Month had an event as part of this, that was a karaoke night where everyone was encouraged to go dressed as the opposite sex, well I am not the type to go to club type events but the few friends that know were like "you should go, it'll be great and you will be the best looking person there" But then when I realised that this would be because when I dress I am a girl as far as I'm concerned and am not "doing it for a laugh". I didn't go, and then when the pictures came out I saw exactly what you described, hairy legs etc. and it made me a little bit angry.

But I agree with you, it makes me angry and feel insulted. Also when I read things on how to be more confident at going out people recommend these times of year and events, but I'm not dressing to be mocked I'm dressing to become my girly self. Like I can see why people do encourage these things as it sheds more light onto the community and more social acceptance, but still feels insulting.

[GeminaRenee]

On one hand, I can see it being insulting, from the standpoint that these guys are being asked to do something that is potentially embarrassing to them, even though it's more than likely just a light-hearted thing. After all, it reinforces the notion (on some level) that these guys are dressing in a way that they are not "supposed to," or that dressing as a woman is something that just ought to be laughed at.

However, I don't think it's really the intention of people who organize these things to mock CD'ers or trans people, by any means. I think a big part of it is just that guys who are through and through masculine do look funny when they're not dressed in a cis fashion. I mean, a guy I know dressed as a Hooters girl a few Halloweens ago, and it was pretty amusing to see. I didn't find that a bit offensive.

I guess you just have to take the whole context of the thing into perspective. Are the women going to be dressing like men also? Will the guys just get glammed up so everyone can have a chuckle at seeing the QB in a dress, and then everybody forgets about it and moves on? Or will it have a more sinister undertone? That's how I'd judge it.

You certainly wouldn't be wrong for being offended, but I just don't see it as a huge deal as described, personally.

[Lorileah]

It is just a silly high school ritual and shows complete lack of creativity.

Sort of like flushing someone's head in a toilet or pulling their pants down in the hall...we have outgrown this "silliness" I hope

I think that there is just too much political correctness going on these days. Basically, doing anything can offend someone so are we to do nothing?

until it affects you

Let it go.

No...someone needs to point out the wrong here. If not now how long from now?

On the other hand, if someone dresses up a fisherman for Halloween, are they mocking fisherman?

If they dressed to degrade and make fun of fishermen yes. Really not a good analogy

However, I don't think it's really the intention of people who organize these things to mock CD'ers or trans people

you don't think? So exactly what is the purpose? "Wear this so you can sympathize with your girlfriend and how hard she works to look nice." Or.."You wear a bra for a day and see how much fun it is." No it is meant to degrade the person wearing the outfit, to allow others to mock and tease.

Evidently it is something the OP feels strongly about or they would not have posted it so saying "get over it" doesn't really help. It may not be an intentional slight but until someone points it out it will continue

[Jenniferathome]

As Freude said, "Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Too much reading between the lines Lorlleah. Things can be just what they are and have no deeper impact. This event is already forgotten by all except those who are looking for ways to be offended by it. This is not an adult group looking to make a statement, it's a bunch of dumb kids. They are just being dumb kids.

[arbon]

I get what you are saying and how it makes you feel. I get sensitive to it to. I have been around that sort of thing more then a few times where guys are dressing up and it is supposed to be funny - guys in drag ha ha! everyone laugh, and they should be so embarrassed! And I'll be standing right there wondering if they all want to laugh at me, I have a male body and live as a woman am I what they are mocking and getting their laughs from? Am i what these guys are trying to represent?

And most of the time I have seen it has been adults doing it.

[GeminaRenee]

you don't think? So exactly what is the purpose? "Wear this so you can sympathize with your girlfriend and how hard she works to look nice." Or.."You wear a bra for a day and see how much fun it is." No it is meant to degrade the person wearing the outfit, to allow others to mock and tease.

Yes, it's obviously to tease the people who have to do it. To call it mocking or degrading on general principle is a little over-dramatic. Obviously, the tone of these things is what determines how harmful something may be, and that's something that the faculty at the school ought to be evaluating. When it happened at my high school, I saw nothing that led me to believe that the events were anything but good-natured. As near as I can recall, the court all played along, everyone had a laugh, and when it was over, the guys on the court all continued to nail cheerleaders and be popular just as before. Hardly degrading. Of course, if someone who has to participate feels terribly wronged by all of it, then that person ought to say something.

For me, as someone who sat there and watched, knowing that I would probably go home and put on pantyhose and a slip that night, I just thought it was kind of cute. All of those dull, straight geeks laughing at (not really even at just near) the surface of a pond they'd never even begin to understand the depth of.

But that's just my opinion, the one that the OP asked for. I can't speak for everyone.

[JenniferYager]

I think the bigger issue is that you can't control how others feel. Some folks are going to laugh at crossdressing no matter what. Let them! If you try and clamp down on it, you make haters out of them and out of others who will think you're being a busy body.

I compare it to cracking down on smokers. I don't smoke, and I prefer to not sit near those that do and I don't let people smoke in my house. But when someone gets on TV and suggests that smoking should be illegal, I get mad because I think "Smokers are people too! Leave them alone!"

You have every right to be annoyed, but I don't recommend doing anything except simply educate folks around you in a non-forceful way. Otherwise it will likely backlash.

[Jenniferathome]

They are not mocking cross dressers. In fact, in all likelihood, the boys wearing the prom dresses do not know cross dressers exist. It is just a silly high school ritual and shows complete lack of creativity. While it is true that the result is, "a boy in a dress looks funny" to me it is no attack on cross dressers. No one thinks, "Oh, this is how cross dressers are." They are thinking,"Doesn't Dave look ridiculous." And he does!

I think that there is just too much political correctness going on these days. Basically, doing anything can offend someone so are we to do nothing?

Let it go. And when you choose to go out, represent the best you can.

[Tracii G]

I think that there is just too much political correctness going on these days. Basically, doing anything can offend someone so are we to do nothing?

Let it go. And when you choose to go out, represent the best you can.[/QUOTE]


I agree with Jennifer 100% the world is getting too PC.People get butt hurt too easily.
I call it the "its all about me syndrome".
Now that might piss a few younger cd's off me putting it that way but you can't control what others do and think about you or anyone else for that matter.
Just represent as best you can and be proud of yourself they can't take that away from you.

[StacyLynn]

I completely understand where you're coming from. It's certainly not an open mocking because they're doing it from a place of total ignorance, but it definitely reinforces the stereotype that crossdressing is unnatural and a "joke." It's because of events like this that the general population doesn't understand who crossdressers really are. I personally wouldn't take too much offense to it because I know it's nothing personal, but I do harbor a small resentment to how it can negatively affect the crossdressing community.

[PaulaQ]

They are not mocking cross dressers. In fact, in all likelihood, the boys wearing the prom dresses do not know cross dressers exist. It is just a silly high school ritual and shows complete lack of creativity.

...

I think that there is just too much political correctness going on these days. Basically, doing anything can offend someone so are we to do nothing?

Perhaps the school should celebrate the heritage of students of African American descent by getting all the white kids to put on blackface and put on silly little skits and songs. Tee hee, tee hee! Maybe they could schedule this on Martin Luther King's Birthday, or some other such significant day.

And while I think we (hopefully) all agree that such an event would be really offensive to the African American students of that school, and to the community at large, I find it interesting that doing more or less the exact same thing with regard to gender gets a pass. Because this isn't the 1950's - it's the 21st century, and people know, or should know, that transgender folks exist, and that mockery is cruel.

[Zylia]

Well, they're obviously mocking women, not unlike many 'actual' cross-dressers.

[Amanda M]

As usual. jennifer has nailed it. Come on. Lighten up folks. When people get anxious about this sort of things, it is a often an expresion of their own guilt/ shame/insecurity.

AprilMayy - your fellow students (I suspect) do not know that you crossdress. Therefore, how can they be subtly mocking you? Perhaps the problem is that you are a bit worried that if you go for it, they might guess

For what it's worth, if you make a sham of the whole thing, you will be letting yourself down. Be brave, get shaved, made up, powdered and fancied up and be great!

[PaulaQ]

Uncle Tom's Cabin

[Vickie_CDTV]

Take it from someone twice you age, life is offensive. I see things everyday that mock and offend things I believe in. There are people all around me who do things I don't agree with, and say things I don't approve of. If I stopped to protest everything that offended me I would never get anything done. Personally, I find political correctness and the hypersensitive culture we now live in to be more offensive than anything.

Anyway, I doubt the boys are really doing it to make fun of trans people, and I doubt they even know any trans people or even care about trans people one way or another. They just want to embarrass each other. I'd also worry, given that you are in high school, if you complain and the boys find out that you were the reason their event was cancelled, you may find yourself dealing with more trouble than it is worth. You need to pick your battles, and this, in the grand scheme of things, may not be worth it.

[PaulaQ]

BTW, I agree that they aren't directly mocking trans* - or it would doubtless be a much nastier affair. That doesn't change the inherent offensiveness of their actions. I doubt most of the kids involved are even hateful people - they are probably a pretty nice bunch - just ignorant as all hell. That still doesn't make it OK.

[DonnaT]

Personally, I don't have a problem with it. I've never felt that such events were mocking CDs/TGs.

Many schools have similar events, such as womanless beauty pageants, cross dress day, or football players dressing a cheerleaders at a pep rally, etc.

I admired the guys for having the courage to cross dress in public.

But times are a changing, like using the term crossdresser now instead of transvestite, and getting the word out that the term tranny/trannie is no longer acceptable to the TG community.

Thus, if you feel deeply about such activities in school, as being discriminatory, then campaign against it. Start a movement across the US.

What does get me upset, however, are the "religious right" parents who try and get such events stopped as being a sin.