I'm Getting A Make-over !!!!

[PamelaMiller]

I learned a new term this week - the pink fog. I think I'm in it.

I've been working from home this week, if you can call it working. I have been so distracted by thoughts of being en femme that I don't feel like I got anything done.

Since my teen years (quite a long time ago), dressing has been my fetish. And in many respects it still is so. But lately, I have been giving more and more thought to just being en femme, without the fetish stuff that goes with it. I just want to be pretty and admired. When I see a pretty lady, smartly dressed, I think about how pretty she is, and how pretty her outfit is, and how badly I want to wear her outfit.

I am in the closet and plan to stay there. I told my wife about dressing way back when we were engaged. She wasn't interested and has long since forgotten about it. I travel on business a fair amount, and that is when I get my femme time. And truthfully, I have no interest in adding it to our life together. We have 2 teens, and life is hectic and exhausting. And I wouldn't trade a moment of it for anything. There isn't time or energy to add my femme self to it, and I don't have the guts anyway. I have so much respect for those of you that do it. Being en femme is my own private getaway, just like those fancy instant coffees that used to be advertised.

Now that I have all of that out there (and I hope I didn't babble on), I have been thinking about my next steps. I don't dress appropriate for my age. Luckily I have a decent body and the clothes that I buy work mostly, but they don't really present the image that I dream of. Sometimes I have chosen the clothing that I have because it is less expensive, easier to store and easier to cram into a suitcase. But for years I have wanted to dress the part of a classy woman, in pretty skirts and dresses that show my beauty without making me look cheap and inappropriate. And I want to learn how to do my own makeup. I have the potential to be pretty and passable and it's time to learn to do it.

So next week I carved out an overnight "business trip". I'm getting a makeover and lessons. She is going to look over my wardrobe and help me keep the right stuff and put the other stuff into my "private" pile that I'll wear for me but not in public. Then we're going to shop for new stuff for me, and do some photo sessions too. It's going to be a 24 hour experience complete with a dinner outing.

At the end of it will be a new Pamela. I can't wait for you to meet her.

Thank you to all of you who have already inspired me in the short time that I have been here.

Hugs,
Pamela

[Cassie Cas]

Hi Pam,
Have lots of fun. Your situation sounds like mine. Let us us know how it goes.
Hugz
Cassie

[Victoria StJohn]

Pamela, I wish you the best for what is going to be a very memorable day. You are very brave to take on this adventure. I feel you will have so much confidence after this, you will never want the pink fog to lift. ENJOY and please keep us posted. Photos?

[Jamie Lynn]

Insanely jealous, Pamela!! Hope you have a great time and we can't wait to hear all about and see your pics!! You go girl!!!

[AKADonna]

Good for you, Pamela! I was so mixed up until I had my first makeover and learned to really cherish those feminine urges. I have not been the same since and have returned for several more makeovers since - each one progressing further and further into my femininity! Enjoy your time and cherish the memories that you surely will be creating!

[Julie Denier]

Sounds like it will be a fantastic experience! And I know what it's like to have to keep this thing of ours a secret. Enjoy - can't wait to hear all about it and see pictures

[Babbs]

Pam I know how you feel...You go Girl! can't wait to see the pics

[Katey888]

Wow, Pamela...

Sounds like you've been smitten with something a bit more glutinous than Pink Fog - more like being slimed with Pink Blancmange! (Remember Ghostbusters! )

It does sound like a great opportunity - and of course we'll all be fascinated to see how it turns out...

Have a fantastic experience!

Katey x

[Confetti]

Yaay Pam!
Treat yourself and enjoy that would be my kind of business trip.I promised a dear friend to a complete make over present for August looking forward to restyling the wigs, buying a few dresses with him then the make up.

[Glenda58]

Sounds like a great time can't wait to see the pics.

[Laura28]

Pamela, sounds wonderful i travel a lot all over the country as well and have often thought of doing a make over while away, PM were you having it done if you dont mind.

Laura

[Beverley Sims]

Pamela,
All the best, I hope it goes well for you.

[Marcelle]

Hi Pam,

Sounds like a great time. Don't forget to update us on how it went.

Hugs

Isha

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Pam, It sounds like you are going to have a wonderful time , Don't forget your camera.

[Kristyn Hill]

sounds like a killer time. cannot wait to see the results. glad you found this group

[lostcrow]

Sounds like a dream come true. I would love to have someone do a makeover on me. So jealous. Hope you have good time

[NicoleD]

Please keep us updated on this, I am soo keen on getting one done myself at some point so would love to hear about your experience.

[rian]

Dear Pamela ..Im in the same situation as you are ,,,Yet I think you are right and hopefully we can see some of the nice and lovely pictures you have to share with us ....Good luck my dear .

[ophelia]

Pam, This will change you. I have recently had opportunities to avail myself of professional makeup artists and coiffure in other cities. Our situations are very similar. Seeing that you value your home unit, as I do, beware the Pink Phogg! Your inner hormones and enzymes will be flowing like crazy so be careful with things like eyebrow shaping and assemetrical hairstyles with tiger stripes. (lol) This can become your even more special secret. I use it as a reward for things like finishing my taxes and re-organizing my studio. Boldly go where Pam has not gone before! Make it so! Engage!

[Jaclyn]

I'm very jealous. I'm trying to get up enough nerve to ask the wife if we can go together and get a make over. How fun would that be?

[PamelaMiller]

Yesterday was my makeover and shopping experience. I going to tell you all about it, but I am still processing what it all meant to me. And because I took a day from work to do it, I'm now way behind and must catch up.

I'll update this thread soon within the next few days, and will post pics in the photo gallery as soon as I can (but for now, my pics drive is hidden away with my femme wardrobe).

Hugs to all,
Pamela

[stacycoral]

Pamela, girl you will have so much fun that you will not want it to quit, sounds like you found someone that will make you feel like be a woman out and about, I know the time a couple of years ago I had a professional makeover and she and I went to dinner and to a club, it was so fine, to be out and not worry,even had some a GG come up and talk to me at the club, I understand where were your at, and all I can say is enjoy every minute and we can't wait to hear and see about the fun you had, Hugs girls,

[PamelaMiller]

Here is the story of my makeover. I arrived around 10am. I had not yet shaven because I wanted to wait as long as possible so that we could start with the freshest shave and make it through the day without a shadow. She showed me to the room where we would work and where I would spend the night. I unpacked all of my femme outfits and arranged everything on the bed so we could make outfit choices. I shaved (nicking myself of course) and then changed into panties and bra, nude hose, heels, a pencil skirt and a sweater. We reviewed my various outfits on the bed and I immediately put a few aside as clothes that I myself did not thrill me. We also decided that the skirt and sweater I was wearing were not good. The sweater did not give good arm or neckline coverage and it looked to young for me. The skirt was a little snug and the zipper was broken - sometimes the slightest movement would split it open. So after my makeup lesson that outfit would also go to the collection for Goodwill.

I sat at the makeup table and we arranged my own makeup collection. We few a few items away because they were the wrong color for me, or just not very useful. She then began the makeover/makeup lesson. She showed me how to apply various cosmetics to half of my face and then she watched me and corrected me as I did the other half. She taught me about taping to pull my skin tight and to change the shape, adding more of an arch to my brow. My skin is very good to start, but even without makeup I could see how the taping changed me. Then we did some concealer under my eyes, some beard cover and foundation. Next came some techniques along my cheeks and jaw bone to give the illusion of shadows and contours. Then onto my eyes including false eyelashes, and my lips. She gave me the tip to be sure to look at myself in the big mirror from a few feet away because most people are not going to be up close like I was seeing myself in the small makeup mirror. Then we added my wig, which she trimmed a little to fix the bangs. Looking in the mirror, I was amazed. I still saw my male self, but I also saw my face with feminine beauty. I was impressed with the change. Before I started to write this, I reviewed all of the pics. It's the first time I looked at them since that day and the first time I saw them on something bigger than the camera display. I was blown away. I'm not sure about passing. I'll leave that to others to respond because my own eye is too critical. But I could look at most of the pics and not see my male face. The only thing I did not like were my lips. They photographed nicely, but in the mirror they seemed exaggerated. She told me that they already have a nice shape. She used the lip liner to make them a little bigger and fuller. I'm not sure it was necessary, but I'll experiment on my own to play with different looks. Afterward, she gave me a complete list of every item and color and the brush used to apply, in the order in which I should do it. I can't wait for some time to practice on my own.

Then it was time to shop. I changed into a print skater skirt and black blouse. I was worried that they were not age appropriate, but she thought they were fine. We headed to a shopping center with a list of items that we agreed that I needed. It was a small list - a couple of blouses to go with the skirts that I already have and a dress. Most everything else I have was worth keeping. Our first stop was Kohls. I walked in as confident as they day is long. No one batted an eye. There were men and women customers in the store. We went to the ladies department and looked through various racks and we found several blouses to try, and then a beautiful dress practically jumped off the rack into my arms. We headed for the fitting room. Did you know that Kohls doesn't even separate their fitting rooms into men and women? All over the store, the various fitting rooms are unmarked. Just walk in, take an individual room and close the door behind you. I tried the various blouses and we decided that two were keepers and the rest either did not fit or did not look great. Then I tried the dress and it was beautiful but a little snug. So I changed back to my own clothes and we headed to lingerie. We picked a black lace cami to help with some coverage. It wasn't on the list originally, but I only had a beige cami in my own collection and we thought black would work better with one of the blouses and with a dress that I already own. And, we got me a Spanx slip to smooth me out and tighten me up a little for my new dress. Into the lingerie dept fitting room to try the Spanx and with the new dress over it, a much better look. By then my feet were killing me. I was wearing my highest heels with platforms and while they look good, they're also terrible for tile floors and concrete sidewalks and parking lots. Shoes weren't part of the plan, but we took a look. We didn't find anything, so we went to check out. The cashier was very professional, chatting with me as she rang me out and I paid. At the other end of the shopping center was a Payless so we looked for shoes there. The sales lady asked if we needed help, and we even saw a man and woman that had been in the Kohls shoe dept at the same time. They carried on their own conversation without breaking stride, never once reacting to the CD just a few feet away. As we approached the register a very nice lady with her teen daughter were just finishing and they had a discount card that had a small amount left on it and she was very kind to give it to me - again, without batting an eye. It felt soooooo good to change into a more comfortable heel without a platform. Not as high as I like, but comfortable and pretty.

By then we were starving so we went to the frozen yogurt shop and relaxed for a bit with a snack. The male clerk and the other customers didn't react to me at all.

Next, back to her place where she took photos for a couple of hours in all of my new outfits and some of my older stuff. We even made two trips to a local park for some outdoor shots.

Next, I changed into my new dress and we headed to dinner. The parking lot was packed, but I did not blink an eye or have any doubt. We parked and went in. The male manager seated us, again without reacting to me. It turned out that only one other family was in the main dining room. Everyone else, all of those other cars, they were there for a private function in another room. Our waitress came to the table, took our order, brought us bread, checked on us as we dined, all of the stuff that is supposed to happen in a restaurant. And, she addressed us as "ladies" several times throughout the evening. I was wondering what I would do if I needed a restroom, but I never did so we never had to answer that. But from what I read, I would have used the restroom to match my presentation. Anyway, we finished and left and by then the private function had ended and most of those people were gone too. The only thing I wished was different was that while I was dressed up, my makeover artist companion was in jeans and a sweater. I would have preferred her to be dressed up too so that we looked like we were enjoying an evening together.

Then back to her place. I headed to my room to spend private time en femme while I organized and packed some of my clothes and then read a book for a bit. Then sadly it was time to clean up and go back to en homme. But, I did sleep in my baby doll nighty to extend the feeling as long as possible.

So that it is very long story and thank you for sticking with me this far. But what did it all mean for me? First of all, it was one of those times where I thought more about my femininity then I did about my sexuality or the fetish undertones (for me at least) to my dressing. I approached the day with some fear and guilt - it was an expensive day, and I had to concoct a "business trip" as my reason to be away from home for the day and night. But one of my new friends from this forum, with just a sentence or two, explained that I should not feel guilty for doing something for myself when so much of what we all normally do is for others. We all have expectations before we do something big and important, and we probably all (often) have a fantasy as to how it might play out. We might even have dialogs with ourselves to prepare us for the different ways that things might go. And I say this with reference to anything that we do in our lives - dating, relationships, different discussions that we might prepare for, business meetings, job interviews, visiting sick friends and so on. So in my mind, I was expecting a day of euphoria. I was expecting a day of pink fog, much like the days leading up to me making the appointment and the days waiting for it to be "the day". But I didn't get that and I'm not sure why. But for now, my best explanation is that I was simply spending a day as me. Granted, it's not the "me" that I usually present, but she is me too. She isn't half of me. She's a small part of me. But she is me and there was no euphoria because I was just being me.

I'm 52 years old. I began to experiment with CD when I was a teen. In those 35 or so years, I have experienced all of the same feelings that everyone here has experienced - fear, guilt, confusion, purging, shopping, purging, shopping, and on and on. I understand all of you because I am you and you are me. I would never tell any of you that your feelings are silly or ridiculous, because I have felt them and sometimes still do. We each inch ourselves along this journey at our own pace, the pace that is right for each of us individually. Some of us get farther than others. But I will say this - the world is different now then it was years ago. People are different. Most, not all, but most, are more enlightened. I'm not saying to throw caution to the wind, to let your guard down or to not trust your instincts. But out there in the world, everyone is working hard to get by, to make each day better than the one before. If you present as a confident and polite lady, then for the most part that is how you will be treated. At Kohls, at Payless, at the yogurt shop, in the park and at the restaurant - no one seemed to care about the CD in their midst. I was just a lady getting through the day. I hope that we all find comfort and delight in every day, and I am thankful that we are here to support each other.

Here are some pics of the outfit that I wore to shop. These were taken in the park. These are the first pics to ever show my femme face. I'll be posting more in the pic gallery, so watch for me. Your polite and honest feedback is appreciated. I am woman, hear me roar? No, hear me cheer!!!

[Julie Denier]

You look wonderful, Pamela! Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. You are so lucky to have had such wonderful guidance, and the results are fantastic! Can't wait to see the rest of your pics

[samantha rogers]

Pamela, I am so happy for you. This is exactly what you needed. I know you were just floating and still are. You look wonderful, baby! OH I am soooo happy for you. BTW...was it Phoebe you went to see?


Big hugs, honey! Yay!
Sammie