Is Crossdressing a Sexual Thing?

[AKADonna]

Having dresses, off and on, for more than 50 years, I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement. As I grew older , I have continued to enjoy feminine feelings and urges that seem to be more related to gender than to sex. In my 60's, I began to lose my arm, chest, leg and underarm hair and my skin became much smoother. I am convinced that my testosterone levels have diminished and, if possible, I am enjoying some estrogen production as demonstrated by breast growth and a more calm disposition.

Do you feel that your CDing is a sexual or gender thing at your age?

[Charla McBee]

It certainly can be. There are plenty of people who identify as fetish CDers and that's all they ever claim to be. I also think a lot of us start off thinking along those lines but it often progresses into something way beyond that. I'm 27 now and for several years dressing has become simply something I need to do, it can still be exciting in that way but for the most part it just has a calming effect. If I don't do it for a long period of time I will lose my mind. There is a lot about me that is decidedly masculine but I also recognize that I have plenty of feminine traits and with all this dressing has shifted in the direction of gender expression.

I do often wonder if hormones play any role in all this as I have reason to believe that my own may or may have been just a little off at some point.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Funny, but my H is starting to acknowledge that he now thinks it's always been a sexual thing for him too, and that maybe it's changed over time as most things do in our complicated human lives.

I don't really see why this bothers so many here. Sexuality is who we are, not just something we do. Otherwise, the world wouldn't be so bothered by homosexuality - it would just be something people did in private so who cares? But we know that's not true - it's a part of who they are as much as crossdressing is part of who you are. Dressing for sexual reasons is as legitimate as dressing for gender and only those with their own insecurities would ever say otherwise.

[Katey888]

Tinks, you do get right to the nitty gritty, don't you... (in a nice way... )

I agree - and the fact that we are sexual beings is too often played down... It's society that places bounds on sexual behaviour - those boundaries are about control and power (and actually a fair bit of sexuality is too.. ) - sex is used to sell things, sex is sold, women's clothing - particularly - is sexual in it's design, so that has a big connection with what we do, in my mind...

Donna - I love the way you say you're 'convinced' about sexuality, as if you don't really want to remember or are mildly embarrassed by the possibility? But I agree with your POV - this was a primarily sexual thing for me until the past few years, but now if I look back before more recent times, I realise that it wasn't just sexual - if I had the chance I'd spend as long as possible dressed when away from home, and I realise now that I was always feeling that background level of harmony and rightness some of us have mentioned...

So I think it has both elements for me, but has definitely swung to a 'gender thing' in the past few years.

Katey x

[Wildaboutheels]

" I am convinced that during my younger, high testosterone years, my crossdressing gave me some strong sexual excitement."

Bad, BAD, B A D CDer!!!!

Are you trying to give CDers a bad name? It almost sounds like you had an O or possibly a couple while wearing some item/s of women's clothes way back when dinosaurs were still roaming the earth. Say it ain't so!

FACT: Most all here at least "passed through" that stage, regardless of the age they started dressing. Very few will deny it and many of the ones that DO DENY it have "faulty memories". [as checking other posts from them will confirm] It's likely the Os promote/d "much" of the Guilt and Shame that is never in short supply here. So obviously many are happy to leave the Os behind them. But our Human Brains are simply not going to allow us to EVER forget that ASSOCIATION with clothing with Os.

I have no experience with "recreational drugs" of any sort so I could be wrong but my guess is that few things on the planet are as addictive as MALE Os. Male Os keep us on the planet. They better be addictive. It's no accident that 1] they cost nothing, 2] they are extremely easy for most men of "breeding age" and 3] It's primarily a man's VISION that makes both 1 and 2 possible. [getting ready for a visit to O land easy]

If this site were to remove all pics and allow nothing but arrangements of letters, just how long do you think this site would last?

FEmales are not visual like men are, as it goes against THEIR most basic programming. It also accounts for WHY there are so few FtM CDers. Easy enough to confirm. FEmales are also very UNlikely to think with their little heads simply BECAUSE of the way a man "presents" himself.

"Presents" himself... as in CLOTHING.

Of course... I could be missing something? I think most Humans agree that "most" women have their LBDs, minis, high heels and "display of cleavage" at their disposal to make "favorable impressions".

The equivalent for men would be...?????????????????????????

Actually "being successful" is the best tool for men [to most women] simply because "being successful" increases the chances he will be a "better father".

My dressing has not changed in 50 years and it seems to be the same for many others here. [that don't post very often/choose to be mostly lurkers] My guess is that they too, have never felt any shame or guilt because of their basic Male "programming". You can't fight Mother Nature and to deny it, makes little sense.

I have little doubt that "most" men who went on to transition [and were happy about it] are likely the ones who never got "excited" from putting on/wearing FEmale items.

I don't see a problem either way. There is no right or wrong way or reason to "dress" any way one wants to as long as it doesn't break any laws. And age has nothing to do with it, although what you described for yourself seems to be the "norm" here for the majority of the Forum Dinos.

I'd be willing to bet a years pay, that had Pavlov continued with his dogs for an extended number of years, some of the dog's who had lost most of their teeth would be quite "happy" with just drooling.

[ColleenA]

When I began dressing in my sister's clothes in 7th grade, it was definitely for fetish arousal. For the next few years, the chief story of my dressing up was that I would get aroused and climax, but quickly had to take the clothes off again. I was glad for occasions, then, when I could keep the clothes on for an hour or so - say, when I had the house to myself on a weekday afternoon when my parents and older siblings were still at work or school.

As time went on, especially once I was an adult and had more privacy, it was nice to be able to keep the clothes on and enjoy them for more than just the arousal they provoked. I appreciated opportunities to dress and just be Colleen (though she had no name for many years), doing simple things around the house. The sexual component has never completely gone away, but Colleen is a much bigger part of my life than she ever could have been in my teens.

... my H is starting to acknowledge that he now thinks it's always been a sexual thing for him too, and that maybe it's changed over time as most things do in our complicated human lives.

I'll make a comparison to driving. When I first got my license, it represented freedom to not rely on my parents or school buses or public transportation or my bicycle to get around - pretty basic stuff. But it eventually came to mean a lot more. I could drive 50 miles to visit "the city" on my own. Driving took me to college (and back home on holiday breaks). Many years later, it meant family vacations, Boy Scout camping trips with my sons, even moving across country. Did I envision any of that at 16? No, of course not.

In the same way, when I was 12, I did not/could not imagine actual intimacy with my wife while cross dressed or the pleasure of just hanging around the house all day on a Sunday, doing everyday things in a skirt and bra. As Tinkerbell indicates, things just change over time.

I think most Humans agree that "most" women have their LBDs, minis, high heels and "display of cleavage" at their disposal to make "favorable impressions". The equivalent for men would be...?????????????????????????

In recent years, it seems one equivalent - at least in the minds of guys - are cell-phone pics of their penises sent to women. Just the other day, a friend of mine told me a guy who has been trying to get with her for years - who she keeps sending clear "No" messages to - contacted her after six months of silence with a number of messages all in one day. The first one? A photo of his penis.

I asked her if there are many (any?) women for whom that sort of approach works.

[Alexis.j]

I would say it is! Why do woman get dressed up in heels and sexy clothes? Because it is comfortable? Or practical????
I think not....

I know this is not 'exactly' what the poster is getting at, but it is still worth mentioning.

[Kate Simmons]

For some it's sexual, for other it's not, for others it just is. It is a process and how we manage it will depend on how we view it.

[Cheryl T]

It began as very sexual when I was in my teens and over time has changed dramatically.
It kind of seems a normal progression for me as I was randy in either mode as a teen and then as I matured other things in life took the forefront. I no longer derive that sexual stimulation from dressing but I do feel that desire to be very feminine and sexy at times while most of the time it's just about being me now.

[Marcelle]

Hi Donna,

For me when I first dressed complete "en femme" at age 17 there was a huge sexual component built it (a role play sexual thing with my GF at the time). Never dressed again after that for 32 years. Oh don't get me wrong, I utilized various clothing items sexually during that time. However when I began dressing again last year there was no sexual component involved it was just clothing and it felt good to be out and about in that clothing. It is just about being me now.

" ... Females are not visual like men are, as it goes against THEIR most basic programming. It also accounts for WHY there are so few FtM CDers. Easy enough to confirm. FEmales are also very UNlikely to think with their little heads simply BECAUSE of the way a man "presents" himself ... Actually "being successful" is the best tool for men [to most women] simply because "being successful" increases the chances he will be a "better father".

WAH . . . Huh I have many GG friends and have been out shopping with them in the daytime (en femme) sitting in many a restaurant. Not visual . . . ahhhhh . . . further from the truth. Since I am part of the group I have listened to many a GG talk about how a "guy's butt looks great in a pair a jeans" or "how a shirt fits just right on a certain guy". I have also heard them talk about "how it would be great to undress that package for some fun time". Nobody once mentioned "I wonder what kind of father he would make or how successful he was". We (humans) are all visual at first it is what attracts us to one another . . . the other stuff (what kind of person he/she may be) comes later when it is time to get serious.

Your contention may hold for some GGs but it is a brave new world out there and guess what "Hot guys are on the menu just like hot girls".

Hugs

Isha

[Princess Chantal]

My crossdressing has various aspects to it, in which I am proud of them all. A few of the aspects could be described as dipping into the sexual waters and I feel no shame in owning up to it. I'd say most of my crossdressing is of a socializing nature though and exploring my curiousities associated with the female gender that tend to differ from the social norms of the male gender

[lostcrow]

For me at this time it is just purely sexual. I don't know how it will be in the future though. I do now a days sleep dressed.

[alwayshave]

I'm pretty sure when I was five years old there was no sexual component to it. When I was a teenager, most definitely there was a sexual component. Now, sometimes, sometimes not.

[reb.femme]

Definitely began as a sexual thing for me and still can be. I just love the gentle feel of the clothes more so these days, but there's absolutely nothing wrong with an O inspired session. Wore a nightie to bed last night and kept that and a robe on all morning whilst doing the ironing, as my wife is working nights (no not those sort of nights ) and I just love the way it clings and wafts around as I move. Glory days!

Rebecca

[Erica Marie]

I too was a cd who found sexual pleasure from the cloths. Like alot of others here I went through many different stages from sexual to purging to more of a complete transformation to more purging to where I am today. Now I just want to feel comfortable in the body I have. Due to finances and family I dont see a permanent change anywhere in my near future. Now its not so much about transforming and dressing but just being me. Im am taking small steps to have a more gender neutral appearance and just who I feel inside.

[Milou]

Purely sexual for me, but I'm still young. We'll see how things progress.

[natcrys]

As captain Lassard would say.. crossdressing consists of many many many many wonderful things! The clothes, the make-up, the perfume, the heels, the shopping, the hanging out with the girls, the partying, the vanity.. and yes.. sex!

Enjoy whatever you like.. and don't let anyone make you feel ashamed!

[pattyjones954]

It began as a sexual thing for me and still can be. I just love the gentle feel of the clothes more these days and felling feminine

[Melissa in SE Tn]

Donna, self gratification while dressed in women's garb , during puberty, would be our common denominators. We all pleasures ourselves during puberty. Sexiness will always be a component of cding. Feeling pretty & sexy is part of the dress ritual . However , for me , dressing is relatively new & an evolution. Being older, dressing is for de-stressing from the woes of being a man . Dressing is a comfort that I look forward to & hope to become better at. The sex act is not the driving force. It's the joy of looking & feeling feminine . What inner peace that brings to me . How about you?

[linda booth]

I'm in my 60's. I still dress for sexual reasons & for a love of the clothes. I've read so many posts in the past about no longer being interested in the sexual ( as if there were something wrong with it). You shouldn't have to give up 1 for the other.

[Laura28]

I am in my Mid Fifties, when i was young it was sexual for me but i also loved being dressed, as i grew older i find it is just a part of me and makes me feel relaxed and whole. So i guess my answer is that when i was young 10 to 20 it was sexual but then stoped being that somewhere in my 20's and now later in life it is just something i love and enjoy and feel so much better about it.

[Ressie]

I'm a little late on this thread. All morning I was in my bedroom, alone, all dressed up…. I'm exhausted!

[Sandra]

Ressie good one lol

I think that once you become settled in who you are then maybe the sexual aspect wains. For Nigella is was sexual but as time went on and she got older, dressed more and was free to dress when she wanted then the sexual aspect did decrease.

[NicoleScott]

I'm pretty sure when I was five years old there was no sexual component to it. When I was a teenager, most definitely there was a sexual component.

This is interesting, and something I have wondered about myself. By five years old I was drawn to magazines and catalogs to look at pretty models wearing pretty things, but I didn't know what to do with this attraction. Later, I discovered they caused erections, and even later my first orgasm happened. From then on, CDing was and still is sexual for me, but could it have been sexual by age five, even if I lacked the ability to bring it to the conclusions that came later as my body matured?
Or was that attraction driven by some degree of femininity which took a back seat once the sexual aspect kicked in?
While transforming is still largely sexual, there are other aspects, however minor. I enjoyed going out some - it was a thrill - and when I did, it wasn't sexual. And I thought transforming was fun and challenging apart from sexual even when I did the "home alone" thing.
My dressing has progressed. It's still sexual, but I have progressed to even greater pleasures than before.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is originally driven by a sexual desire, as it progresses other more interesting activities tend to take over.
I think I discovered girls later in life, the dressing desire did linger though..... A LOT.