It used to be a sexual thing. Now I just like the feeling of dressing and looking like a woman. It used to be dressing very sexual, now it's dressing more classy and ladylike. Looking like a female my age.
It used to be a sexual thing. Now I just like the feeling of dressing and looking like a woman. It used to be dressing very sexual, now it's dressing more classy and ladylike. Looking like a female my age.
In the past it certainly was, that element is still there, but to a lesser degree.
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While I always had feminine feelings come over me, even from a young age, I will admit that during my teenage years through my late 20s, the sexual aspect of CDing played a role. However, over the years, just like a dignified lady, as I have aged, I still have the feminine feelings, but the sexual aspect has diminished a bit. Obviously, at my age, I dress a lot more sensibly, and less "sexy" as I did 25 years ago. I guess I am starting to go through the CD equivalent of menopause, for a lack of a better term. The femininity overrides everything else for me, especially now. I only wish I got into learning more about wigs and makeup 25 years ago, instead of starting in my early 40s.
Maybe the thread title should include the word "My", as in:
"Is My Crossdressing a Sexual Thing?"
It sure sounds that way, Taylor, Ray! I didn't realize that I was opening such a long discussion thread. It sounds like most of us at least had some great O's early on and some of us have continued that, but as I became more mature, so did my attitude and seriousness about exploring my feminine side. Now, feeling pretty and feminine is every bit as important to me than any sexual feelings that I have from time to time when dressed up. For example, earlier in my CD journey, I thought that big boobs, short skirts and wild hairdoos equaled SEXY; now i feel that femininity, blending in with women my age and being a mature woman is far more interesting, fun and sexy!
When i was younger i would get turned on by wearing women' clothing. If i had the desire to and play with myself either before dressing up or while dressed, the desire goes away. Now when i'm dressed it just feels natural and i don't feel any sexual excitement. Could have been my male hormones during that time causing it.
It has always been a very intensely sexual thing for me, always ending in a "pleasurable release". There have been some unexpected moments in the mirrors of dress shops where it was nearly...embarassing. When "untucking" after a succesful outing I have often found DNA evidence on the thong. May it ever be so.
The accelerating acceptance of LGBT issues in society may have taken away some of the danger/thrill which I am certain was part of the sexual aspect. Of late as I have invested in higher levels of makeup and coiffure (my own hair) I have received some wonderful compliments from some attractive women and that is just a whole new level of turn-on.
But there are some constants, some reliable turn-ons like the scent of hairspray, Chanel No5, the scent of lipstick, the feeling of eyelash glue hitting your eyelid and firming up..., the slick coolness of liquid eyeliner,
my hair springing back in tight curls after 30minutes under the dryer.....
Last edited by ophelia; 04-30-2014 at 07:19 AM.
I'd have to say it is both sexual and non-sexual and I suspect it is the same for most here but, in different proportions. For me it is a lot of fun to just look the best I can. I like to view it as a challenge. I would like to be 100% passable but, know it will never happen in my eyes till I stop looking for the guy in the mirror everytime I dress. I look at other CD'ers pictures and I am jealous how beautiful the look to me. I'm not sure I will ever get there and that's okay with me. It is still lots of fun. Sexually and just playing around. Cheers!
JS
Some one said what is the defination of sexual. It was sexual for me even before I knew what a "release" was. There was something so sensual about it, that I continually did it, yet not understanding why it made me feel the way it did. Then came the first release while dressed, and I was scared, confused as to what was going on. Even with all of this I couldn't stay away from dressing. The way I now know it was sexual for me is based on the fact that after the big "O", I couldn't get out of the clothes fast enough. All desire would leave immediately after the "O". It took many years before I got beyond the removing the clothes right away. There are times now that I feel that all I have done is stretch out the pre-time to three or four days before the "O" happens, then afterwards the clothes have a slightly different significance. Still enjoyable, but in a different way. I haven't made up my mind which is better. Sensual is the word that best describes the whole experience.
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
It started as s sexual thing, but as time has gone on. It's a release and also gender identity and comfort.
For some people it is, for others, it isn't. I rarely feel any sexual feelings when dressed as a girl, and when I do, it's a conflicting 'I'm attracted to that girl, but I also feel like I'm supposed to be and behave as a girl' type of thing.Originally Posted by AKADonna
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Very good point, we learn what turns us on at a very early age, and it certainly can be sexual when one is 5. Not necessarily sexual in the sense of an eventual release, but you do discover what is appealing to you when young, even if you cannot articulate how you feel or why. It is not surprising so many are attracted to women's lingerie, especially the traditional styles women wore back in the day, both the sensual feel as well as the association with a source of love and comfort (their mother.)There was an article Reine posted some time ago about exactly this - yes, you can be sexual at age 5. In fact, we are sexual beings from birth and again, we're all mixing up sexuality with the sex act itself. But that's not the case and the things we are innocently drawn to as small children often end up being the things that turn us on later. Why were you drawn to feminine clothing? Who knows, maybe these things are random. Though, as far as turn ons go, I imagine women's lingerie is a fairly common interest for boys? My young son has spotted that mommy dresses differently and he often likes the texture of my clothing. So it's not hard to map a pathway in that regard. You might even have been one of those little boys who notice and like girls earlier than others. I see these boys in my everyday dealings with my own kids and they're always the ones throwing me admiring glances and little flirtations.
Yep, I've had 5 year old boys flirt with me
Point is, human sexuality doesn't kick in at puberty - it's always with us. Puberty is when you can finally do something about it!
You know at some point I think it is a sexual turn on for most guys. If you deny it you may just be kidding yourself. After you've done it for a while you may not get the same degree of turn on. I know now sometimes i am really into the craft of it all.
BTW Tinkerbell i loved your post.
Hell Yes!...but that's not all.
I guess I'm the only "grown up" here still at the peak of enjoyment? I feel like the sexual part has progressed WITH my age, and WITH my level of enjoyment of being dressed. Sometimes, I just dress, sit, and watch TV. I've played video games with my friends online...dressed. Other times....well, we won't discuss other times. You get the picture.
"If you think you can or can't, you're right" -Henry Ford
I'm right there with you jessica. It's such a damn turn on I just can't help it.
Sure. Sometimes. Yes. No. Not always.
We are the product of our own imaginations, and self realizations.
The question is what is the difference between sexual turn-on, and our own gender identity? That's how you figure yourself out.
I am not ashamed to say that I am still very confused as to why I dress. There is definitely a sexual component to dressing up, but that is not the only reason. Dressing as a woman is a major stress relief. It is though I am a different person for a short time. I can forget my troubles with work and family when I am Athena. The transformation must end at some time, usually with some sort of release, but not always. I find that the longer it has been since I was last Athena, the more I think about her.
Whatever the reason, I love that I have a female part of myself. It is an important part of my personality.
That's so true I feel relived everytime I do so
It really comes down to defining your self by two magical chemicals called estrogen and testosterone......which one are you in your own true self? Both work in different ways, but neither is more superior to the other.
If you're a guy who likes being a guy with all the biological male functions, and you happen to have a feminine side, then knock yourself out, and be you. The reality is you are quite ordinary and commonplace.
I started cross-dressing in early childhood. I remember doing it because I thought that my mother would love me better if I was a girl. So when I was 4-5 years old it was not a sexual thing. Then I felt gratification at the thought that I could be a girl just for a few moments. There was a sense of well-being, accomplishment and I felt it made me closer to my mother. Once adolescence started then cross-dressing was definitely sexual. I remember those first moment and how I was confused over what happened. It was so very stimulating, I felt I could explode. However this was not the innocent cross-dressing I knew as a child. Now it would lead to masturbation. I liked the cross-dressing but the masturbation parts would make me feel disgusted with myself. As I have aged into my 60's cross-dressing is less about sex and more about comfort, stress reduction, and about relishing beauty for beauty's sake.
Testosterone definitely plays a role in the sexual parts of cross-dressing, but cross-dressing is more than just sexual.
If cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia, then our brains have been hard-wired to respond to cross-dressing as if we were in actual contact with a female. This causes our brain to release neurotransmitters: Dopamine which anticipates the gratification response, Serotonin which produces a sense of well-being, happiness, and oxytocin which is associated with bonding (love), social empathy, and trust. There are probably other neurotransmitters associated with cross-dressing as well.
So high levels of testosterone will make cross-dressing into a sexual experience. After all our brain is thinking "contact with a female". However our level of testosterone will vary with age, and cross-dressing just continues, moving forward with our tastes. It's the neurotransmitters that make us cross-dressers and not the testosterone.
Confucius, I find your post fascinating. My H definitely had issues when he was very young related to how he felt as a boy around his mother and sister (he thought girls were more important as his father had no interest in him). What I'm confused about is what you mean by hard wiring. Does this mean my H wired his brain to crossdress? Or was it there all along? I find that difficult to understand as women's clothing is a social creation so how could there be a brain pathway for it?? And if we all suddenly dressed the same like Star Trek (threw that in for any trekkies here, lol) would men such as yourself and my H still have tried to be feminine?
Anyway, that's an interesting theory. I've never even heard of this 'synesthesia' before but it's the most logical theory I've heard yet, and my H sounds like a textbook case.
He could 'wire' it, someone else could 'wire' it, but most likely it was a combination of many influences, perhaps as well as the theory that once the question about his own identity is realized, it can make him susceptible to further questions about gender.
It's not the clothes. It's what the clothes represent (as well as hairstyles, body mechanics and vocal patterns, all each have distinctly male OR female categories). The way our society is structured, ONLY females wear certain clothing types, so wearing those clothes signifies to ourselves and others that we either are female, want to present as female, want to be female, or perhaps simply don't like being male.I find that difficult to understand as women's clothing is a social creation so how could there be a brain pathway for it??
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
This is another intriguing post. As the mother of young children, I'm well aware that gender realisation isn't until about age 6. Meaning, until that age, children believe they can be either/or/both/nothing. Currently, my son thinks he can be a Ninja Turtle. He's very serious about thisWhat I'm wondering is whether you mean a child before this age can get derailed from his/her path somehow and by age 6, they've somehow connected with the wrong gender? Or a Ninja Turtle?!
My H would be a pretty classic case of this derailment as his father was a pr**k and didn't care about him at all. His mother over compensated for this by doing the role of both parents, and his sister, being the brighter, prettier one, was just revered. I don't think my H had a very good male role model anywhere in his life, and women, in his mind and to this day, are just better.
But while this theory works for my H, what about all those here who say they had textbook childhoods? Two nice parents? Ordinary siblings? Why would they question their identities?? Or did I just start yet another thread?! Lol
On the above.. I actually did a long writeup for the other thread...but so much had already been covered I didn't post. I still saved it for myself as I do when thinking about and analyzing my own influences. it's kind of similar to what you posted.
Here's what I typed for that section...
...
maybe you didn't grow up with a dad in the family and you just learned stuff from the mother more.
Or maybe you had a dad that was bad or imprinted such a bad influence (say abuse, yelling at mom, somesuch) that you end up desiring not to want to be like him whatsoever and you learn from mom instead. Some of these could also be a bit of escape mechanism..to escape from whatever the strife was.
- - -
I will say here, that a lot of the above is in a way me also thinking out my own younger influences.
From ~2-3YO I had a "dad" that all I can remember as a baby was a couple of experiences of him just yelling and arguing with mom. (ultimately he ran out on her). I got a new stepdad at ~5 but he wasn't one to "participate" as much in my life.
I physically grew up smaller, could not really do sports (strength, small hand + structure), which led me off to doing imagination games + doing recess with girls more.
Later I think mom pushed the stepdad to put me in a couple sports to "bond" which didn't work so well.
Basically I grew up looking up to and learning from mom more than anyone else.
What "Maleness" actually came more from my grandfather. (and unfortunately I think my male pattern baldness too
...
Now that was what I ran into for my youth.
As far as the original post's question.. I think it can have a sexual component. My activity briefly started as a rarely done fetish with lingerie (real rarish.. maybe 7-8 times playing with it over a decade or 2 in my 20's-30's). Even my main outfit I really started CDing with (near last halloween-maid) was done with a bit of festishness. But as I have CDed more it isn't so much that. But I do play around a bit at times. (I'm solo, no GF no wife so it's just my own fun). I've got mini sport shorts (yeah at 48 I'm too old for that but hey, I have to make up for lost time), I've got a couple corsets/bustier's that I have.. and garter/stockings. If I'm in the mood that's just something I play around in.
But all that's more or less just an addition to my general CD side now.
Anyways...just decided to post as my own early parental influences might be slightly similar.
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