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Thread: Im stumped. Help me out with this.

  1. #1
    A lady in the making..... Erica Marie's Avatar
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    Im stumped. Help me out with this.

    Who here feels the term crossdresser should be gotten rid of? Yeah I know the forum would need a new name but that can be dealt with later.

    Ok am I all alone with this.
    So if inside I feel that I am more female than male does it really matter what I wear?
    Jeans are just jeans, correct? Who is to say honestly if that is a male or female clothing item.
    A shirt is a shirt, again who care who wears it.
    This is the best example. I was reading forums on running shoes. It clearly states that men can wear womens running shoes if they are a better fit and vice-versa. So what dont I understand.
    Are we still living in the dark ages, isnt it time to just let everyone be who they want to be.
    Erica

  2. #2
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    You don't have to use the term if it doesn't describe you, but it describes me perfectly. I'm not a "lady in the making" nor more female than male. I'm a typical male with a typical male life (husband, father, typical male interests (sports, friends, activities) and most importantly), a male identity. I just like to crossdress occasionally, making me.....a crossdresser.
    Last edited by NicoleScott; 04-27-2014 at 01:44 PM. Reason: punct

  3. #3
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    In some ways I agree with u, Erica. Maybe the public would understand us better if we went back to the term, "Tranny"?

    I could live with that if everyone thot it meant what it means to me!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    While there are certain clothing items( jeans, tops& shoes ) that may be gender neutral , the fact that we wear pantyhose , slips , bras , dresses , etc . are all gender exclusive to women. There really is no need for a man to wear a bra. We do so because dressing like women is innate . Erica, I love your premise and wish society had no phobias about our dressing , but reality teaches us that society is not ready to fully accept our dressing . Erica, until then , let's take comfort in our dressing without guilt or shame . Much peace to you ,Mel

  5. #5
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    Erica you're absolutely right but you're preaching to the converted ! I'm not sure where the changes will happen, maybe through retail, it's a growing market the problem with that is buying on line is killing our person to person contact. Cders need that to gain their confidence and to present a public face, the more they're seen the more accepting it becomes.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Michelle V's Avatar
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    That is very philosophical! In other words " Deep man!" Erica I think you are making a very, very good point. Why do we have to classify who we are? When we do we are making our lifestyle stand apart from the norm, we call ourselves CDers and automatically makes us different from all other males, who may even enjoy dresses as well if it wasn't for the stigma. Let's face it, even those guys who claim to have never consider wearing a dress have to wonder what it would be like, and as you know once you try a dress you never go back.

  7. #7
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    Well, there are people who do see themselves as crossdressers. You might not wish to apply this term to you, but you can't get rid of it for others.

    No one here will disagree with your right to dress as you please. The issue is convincing the people who are not part of this community that it's OK for men (or rather individuals whom other people believe are men), to wear women's clothing.

    A lot of our members do just that though. They wear women's clothing that can easily be mistaken for men's: sneakers, jeans, polo shirts, etc.

    How are things at your workplace? I presume you have a history there as a male? Do they have policies in place for individuals who wish to transition or are they OK with people who wish to present in an androgynous manner if this is your goal?
    Reine

  8. #8
    Silver Member
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    It is sad that all societies do not accept everyone for their attire. Whatever we as individuals choose to wear should never IMO have any bearing on who we are as a person, or to be classified with a title of "crossdresser". Crossdresser is a term for those whether male or female that choose and prefer to wear attire of the opposite gender. Enjoy.

  9. #9
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    So if they're 'just jeans' and 'just shirts', why not wear guy jeans and guy shirts? Present as a guy and express you femininity some other way. Problem solved

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Shelly Preston's Avatar
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    Erica, People get labeled everyday for whatever reason ranging from dimwit to beauty.

    The best way is not to use a label unless its of your own choosing.

    I think Erica sounds perfect.
    Shelly

    Super Moderator....How to tell your partner......Abbreviations

  11. #11
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    I agree that the term "crossdresser" does not adequately explain many of us. I consider myself to be a "pretend woman" in that I not only crossdress, I try my best to emulate
    women, their actions, speech, etc. when I am en femme.
    Hugs, Carole

  12. #12
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    This is a part of the growing theme that the words we use to describe ourselves are simply not going to be universally understood.

    Crossdresser, while seemingly a simple term, can come under this problematic situation as well.

    In my mind I am bigendered: I'm very comfortable looking at life from either of my genders, and I don't like to mix my genders any more than required for maintaining both of them (e.g. arched eyebrows). So, from that perspective, I'm always crossdressed or never crossdressed, depending on your perspective!

    Ok, now my head hurts after that bit of philosophy! Since I'm currently in male mode, maybe I better go put on some heels and see if Tina would like to finish my work this afternoon!

  13. #13
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    I agree to this ...Many here are not cross dressing they are only dressing appropriate to the gender they represent ..Me ?.... Well I am a cross dresser because I sometimes dress opposite of the gender I represent.. Good to see the other end of the spectrum speak out ..
    I do not!! Claim to be an expert on any topic, when I post a new thread or reply on any thread my imput is strickly that of a crossdresser. Not to offend Gay people , Transexuals or any other life style, I am only commenting on one of my own.

  14. #14
    Member alisa63's Avatar
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    I hear ya! I posted a similar thread a few months ago saying that I didn't like the term crossdresser. I didn't quite have it figured out why at the time but I was on my way to discovering that I am transgendered. Some people enjoy wearing clothing designed for the opposite sex whereas I wear clothing that matches who/what my brain already tells me I am regardless of whether my body agrees or not. On HRT now now though I will eventually show my body who's boss. LOL.
    xoxo,
    Alisa

  15. #15
    Member devida's Avatar
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    Right, Lucy_Bella. I'm not cross dressing I am representing the gender I feel myself to be and that's a bit changeable. It's not so much of a a moving target that I ever feel myself to be a man though I was so defined most of my life, but I also don't ever feel myself a woman, though I was very happy to discover a way on youtube to get just awesome cleavage this morning.

    Really I can't say this enough times. We own our own words. They do not belong to someone else. We can describe ourselves any way we please. A very great deal of the oppression in society derives from other people thinking that they have the way to describe someone else. Erica really never has to describe himself, herself, themselves or itself ( I don't know your preferred pronouns, Erica) any other way than feels appropriate, and that can change, because Erica owns the words and the way Erica feels, like the way all mammals feel, changes from time to time and depends on the environment and their response to it. It really is not so difficult. Just give people the fundamental respect to choose the words they feel describe themselves and accept that everyone has the right to self description.

    This really isn't some kind of crazy idea. Obviously if the way I describe myself impinges on the way you describe yourself in a material way, well then we should have a conversation about it. But we just don't have to make assumptions that this person is this or that until they tell us. It is just not important information in dealing with a another person unless there is some transaction going on. For example, a transaction in which you want someone to do something. like buy something, or vote for something, or have sex with you. In which case, ask. If you don't know what gender I am, well just ask, and if I am sufficiently interested to know what gender you are, why I will do the same. Most of the time none of us particularly care that much because most of our relationships are just simple how do you dos, just ordinary transmissions of likes and dislikes, like it sure is a nice day today, or doesn't the weather suck. Most of the time we just want simple affirmations - look there's another human being or another mammal- nice to see you, happy you're not going to attack me and what's more I ain't going to attack you, either! Peace be with you! Gender is a deeper discussion that most of us, most of the time, simply have no interest in.
    Last edited by devida; 04-27-2014 at 03:11 PM.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Carhill. Great one! "Pretend woman" is good.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    "part time lady" may be another one. Just call yourself whatever you think fits best. My cats have several names.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  18. #18
    Member DeeDeeB's Avatar
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    I have a good friend who recently had her driver's license changed from "M" to "F". As a contractor, she now crossdresses in jeans and plaid shirt for work. As for me, I am someone who will likely always have "M" on my license, so I kinda like Transgender Lite.

    Dee

  19. #19
    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    I'd tend to agree that the term CDr is not well accepted in this current society, at least in my corner of the cornfield.

    I'd prefer to call my efforts as being a "near Miss"... It's a great play on words as I never seem to hit the mark dead on...

    Renne.....

  20. #20
    Silver Member Joanne f's Avatar
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    I am not a Crossdresser but as far as I can see most post are from the crossdressing community so it would be wrong to not include them , besides that this form seems to have done very well with the Title it has and I expect if you were to cut it out it may make some who identify as a cross dresser feel uncomfortable and a lot of wives/so when they first find out about their husbands/so will look for the word Cross dressing which hopefully will send them here .
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Joanne

  21. #21
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    OK, "Here we go again!", again.

    Howz about, oh, I don't know, "Genderists" perhaps?

    Or, Ultimate Extreme Ninja Gender Pirates
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  22. #22
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    I'm not fond of the term crossdresser.
    I picked a spot on the spectrum of gender identity, and humanity, and went with it. I have no problem wearing a dress and heels (you know....as long as the shoes are comfortable) in public.
    I don't want to go out where my feets hurt because of shoes. Other than that, I wanna be recognized as girl.
    Last edited by NathalieX66; 04-27-2014 at 03:55 PM.

  23. #23
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I would say you're transgendered or androgynous. But some would say that all CDs are TG. Many members of this site make it clear that simply wearing clothes of the oppisite sex isn't enough. Female emulation seems to be the where it's at for many that like to present as female outside of the home.

    Still, crossdresser or transvestite covers a wide spectrum from occasional undressing to presenting as female full time. I don't see any reason to do away with those words. Words become obsolete on their own all in good time.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  24. #24
    Member JennyLynn's Avatar
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    It took me a bit to consider this question. I would agree with you that we are not "crossdressers", but more bi-gender. We are both men and women psychologically and for some, just sexually. Geesh, it's so stupidly complicated. ISHA, help?

  25. #25
    Member Ilsa's Avatar
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    I am assuming most everybody on this site is more than a cross dresser. We just don't put on undergarments, a dress, a blouse and leave it at that. We are prone to putting on makeup, jewelry, breast forms, if you like and for those who are follicly challenged, a wig. In my case I'd like to be known as Mademoiselle Ilsa Le Faux Femme! Not because I wear a French maids outfit, but because occasionally I like a French Fry when I'm dressed.

    Isha says it best in her profile "Labels are for soup cans." I might also add with regards to Mr. Jordan, labels use to be for T Shirts but now even they are tagless and that's all I have to say about that.

    Au revoir mes amis,

    Ilsa

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