Amazing how a couple of hours make a difference in my life

[Steph_CD_62]

First of all if this gets long, I am sorry.

This morning I was thinking to myself that I was only going to "lurk" here and post on a few things here and there. When I read most of the things here, it is about someone going out in public, doing make-up or hiding their CD'ing from their SO. Well none of these apply to me. I know there are a lot of degrees of crossdressing from just wearing panties in the bedroom all the way to living as a female full time. I have nothing against any of this, because each person is an individual with their own tastes. I myself started with just silky lingerie, but now I wear bras, stockings, heels and dresses. People change (evolve) through their lives and change is usually not a bad thing.

Well a couple hours after thinking about what I was going to post on here letting everyone know about my future plans, I get a text from my daughter saying she wants to come back home. I've been trying to get her away from her no good BF for a couple years now, but she is in "love" and doesn't see what he is really like. She must have finally woke up, opened her eyes and saw him for his true self. So my daughter and her 2 kids are coming "home".

Since all of our kids have moved out I have finally been able to dress when I want and where I want. Now I am afraid I will be back just wearing lingerie in my bedroom and all my dresses, heels, stockings, bras and breast forms will be put away for awhile. I know it will be for a short time, but I am not sure how I will handle it. I was dressed this morning, but after trading texts with my daughter I went back to "drab". Usually when I get stressed I get all dressed up, not the other way around.

I am pretty sure my daughter knows about my other self, but not 100% sure. I am sure that either my ex-wife or my step-daughter has told my daughter. I know I don't want to share this information until she gets back "home" for fear she may stay with her BF. But I don't want to wait until she gets her and freak her out if she doesn't know.

Here comes my dilemma, do I have a talk with my daughter and she how she feels about it? I have also have to think about my grandchildren 2 1/2 and 7 months. I realize that the baby won't know the difference, not so sure about the 2 1/2 year old. Or do I just stop dressing for a few months until she gets back on her feet and moves back out?

Any advice I appreciate it, but if I get none that is fine too since I just needed to get this written down and off my chest.

[marsha leanne]

family first. having had all 4 kids move back in at one time or another, even with hubby and kids in tow, go with family. I had to bury Marsha for a while and go back to exactly what you are facing. But the trust and closeness i got in return has been paying for years now.

reach out to her, tell her you support and welcome her, then ask if she has any concerns about moving back in. This will give her an opening to share with you, and may give you a hint about her 'knowing'. If the conversation gives an open door, then you can step in. If she is comfortable with your and her status, her kids will fall in line with out a hitch.

[Jenniferathome]

Talk to her when she is "home." It is then that cross dressing may affect her. Before then, it does not.

[AllieSF]

If you want to come out to your daughter, now is the best time. If you don't then wait the short few months and put the dressing on hold. Why take a chance that she may or may not accept it and then upset everyone's living arrangements/situations. It could get quite uncomfortable is she can not get on board with all this. If you need to get out or at least dress, you can join a support group that may have an area to dress there, or spend a little extra and rent a motel room once in awhile and dress up there. You just might need that break with those little rug rats running all over the place, and that in itself is a great reason to tell your daughter that you need some alone time! I did the same for my son and learned how to deal with that and actually get out of the house partially dressed to go out on the town. Where there is a will and a strong need, I bet that you can find a way. Good luck and congratulations for being a nice parent.

[RenneB]

Wouldn't it be nice if we could ask the question, get the answer good or bad and if it was bad, retract the original question from memory? I'm no expert on this relationship and coming out to the family, but I'd put the girl back in the closet as a sacrifice for having the daughter back home. In time, she'll move back out and you can go back to being normal again....

Whatever you choose, I hope it works out...

Renne......

[Jamie Lynn]

Gotta go with Marsha and Renne here. Family first!

[chelyann]

i suggest you put the dresses away for now , and help her thru this time with out more stress in her life ,im sure her is moving back is not what she wanted to do but has to do to help get on her feet again.
if she is not totally on board with your dressing it could really hamper your seeing your grand kids.
i know its not what you want but we have to give a little and take a little.

[Beverley Sims]

You do not have to share this with anyone if you think it is going to upset your life.
Just wait till time moves on and your daughter finds a new life.
In the interim, give her support, that's why you had children in the first place, isn't it?

[Katey888]

Sounds to me like your daughter needs a bit of priority care and attention now... time to park things for you for a while and allow her to feel some security and stability.

Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't - if you have to sacrifice a few weeks to be sure that she's comfortable and resettled, I think it's worth waiting...

You can always tell her in the future when the impact on both of you and your grandchildren would be considerably less...

Prudence...

Katey x

[Steph_CD_62]

After reading everyone's comments, I think the best solution would be not to tell my daughter about my dressing.

My family is very important to me, and I want the best for them and I know I need to support them and be there for them BEFORE my dressing. I knew this, but the "pink fog" was getting in the way of thinking clearly, guess I just wanted the best of both worlds.

[natcrys]

Nothing wrong with wanting the best of both worlds. But only if it's possible.

I guess the main priority is to make sure she's not going back to the bad relationship. And I agree that telling her about your crossdressing could potentially "drive her back" into that relationship.

Just make sure you know what to do when mere weeks turn into months.. or even 1 or 2 years. I've seen it happen with children moving back with their parents.

[Nikki A.]

Are you married now, since you mentioned an ex-wife. What does your wife think if you are married? I think that your first concern should be your daughter.
I also had the house to myself for a few years and now my son is back home. I haven't said anything to him but I think he has an idea. I still get some time to my self, I just need to work harder at it.

[kimdl93]

Well, let her get home, get settled and then have a conversation about your CDing. That does not meant You want to dress around her and the kids, but rather You want to be honest with her. It seems you aren't interested in being fully dressed at this moment, so perhaps it won't be a big imposition to not dress in her presence. However, it's a good deal more difficult to hide everything, and you shouldn't have to. Talk honestly. In that way, she can respect your space and you can accommodate her during a difficult time.

[Genny B]

Happy,
You know the right thing to do. i know it isn't easy. Have a 29 year old that moved back in for a year. I'll get through it. I don't think I could dress in front of my grandchildren...
Genny B

[Michellegryl]

I agree with everyone else here that the first priority is to get your daughter away from a bad relationship and back home with you to get a new start. That being said however it does not mean that you have to hide away who you are.

I have recently had a similar situation when my son moved back home from a bad relationship. Although my son did know about me, I was careful to keep Michelle out of sight for the most part. After he moved out I frequently dressed around the house and would go out weekly. When he moved back home I let him get settled and then had a talk with him about who I am and what I needed. He was amazing and very understanding about the whole thing and while he did not completely "understand", he did understand. I do not want to presume to tell you what to do in this situation, but we are who we are and we should not have to continually hide from our family in our own house. I am not saying that we should be completely selfish and disregard the needs of our loved ones, but at the same time we did sacrifice for what, 20 something years while we raised them, suppressing who we were to protect them from who and what we are. I am no longer ashamed of who I am and I think if we are ever going to gain acceptance in this world, opening up to and gaining acceptance from our families is the first step.

Sorry if this sounds like a soap box rant but it is how I feel.

[rian]

My Dear ..I think you do not need to reveal any of your information to her as yet ....wait till she open the subject ( if she knew ) ...Yet if she didn't open the subject it means two things ,,,one she does not know ,,,,Two if she knew she is avoiding to tell you ,,,So Try to keep this in the closed mode for a while till she Find her way back in the future .....But If you find out that she is staying for a long time ,,,,Then you decide whether it is worth telling her or not ...

[michelle az]

not all of us have open minded spouses and there is no acceptance so we hide and enjoy when possible