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Thread: Just One, Both or Neither?

  1. #1
    Julie Gaum Julie Gaum's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Lake Worth, Florida

    Just One, Both or Neither?

    For years on this Forum sisters have usually explained their motivation to dress
    --- once the fetish-object stage has subsided (If it has.) ---as the attraction of soft fabrics,of colorful fashions, of lightness and fit --- in other words comfort. More recently an equal or even stronger reason has been offered --- of tightness.
    Of the feel of a tight bra and girdle, of a form-fitting dress, of a confinement if you will. Certainly the psychologist has an easier time explaining a child's attraction to a mother-associated confinement as being the prime motivator.
    So sisters, which is it or is it both? Or none of the above?

  2. #2
    Platinum Member
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    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Neither. I do not wear any ill fitting bras or girdles. A tight bra is uncomfortable. A girdle is suppose to offer support and not make the wearer look like a stuffed sausage. As to tight dresses I prefer a looser garment that accents the breasts and not an unsightly tummy- the stuffed sausage again. Colors? The majority of my dresses are vibrant colors. I do have some solids such as the required LBD. I love colors on my undergarments; bra, panty and slip.

    I guess the manner in which I dress may be described as for comfort. I will also state when I dress as a male I dress for comfort and avoid any sort of constriction.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Nov 2011
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    As you move on through life you progress, experiment and try new things.....

    New adventures present themselves......

    Am I preaching to the converted here?
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Jan 2011
    One of the things I've learned about being en femme is that I'm not fond of shapewear. I'll wear it if I have to, but if the outfit doesn't demand it it stays in the lingerie drawer.

    It seems that my real craving is for the more social aspects of dressing. I like to be with my friends and I like to dress in pretty clothes.
    "These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    "What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
    "She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
    "Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]

  5. #5
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    Feb 2009
    Northeast U.S.A
    I don't wear shape wear any more. I work out as much as possible (jogging, abdominal exercises) to achieve a feminine figure. I only wish to look like Jennifer Anniston.

  6. #6
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    Central Alberta, Canada
    Interesting question. In guy mode my clothes are always loose and baggy, an over sized shirt, and comfort fit jeans. On the other side I like tight panties, snug pantyhose and shapewear. My bras are not loose, but not tight either, but I wouldn't forget I have one on. I most often want that second skin feeling of something silky against my skin, if you know what I am attempting to say. I prefer skirts to dresses and they need to be loose and airy, except at the waist of course.
    Favourite attire, silky cami, medium denier tights and a skirt, sometimes interchanging the cami with shapewear. There is nothing better than nylon against freshly shaved skin, anywhere on the body!
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  7. #7
    Member ronny0's Avatar
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    Oct 2010
    South West USA
    Started off with the silk feeling and tight fit. Then 'discovered' that bare legs and breast bounce added a over the top emotion.
    Top that with the choice of wearing what guys wear, but nicer fit and fabric, or wearing what the women wear showing some skin and cleavage for just sex appeal...
    Looking in a mirror and seeing some one that might be appealing......
    All of the above, the freedom to wear what I want when I want to feel as good about myself as I can.
    Sad to say, It I wear anything form fitting the foundation garments are needed to hold it all in till my wish comes true and the extra weight vanishes w/o my full effort.

  8. #8
    Member nacracat's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
    I prefer everything tight, (corsets) and even wear hip and bum shapers as it seems to make the clothes hang better as they are designed around the female body. Only my preference as it makes me feel and move more like a lady would. Just an opinion

  9. #9
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
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    May 2008
    waimate new zealand

    Motivation to dress. Hmmm....why do i dress, no male clothes maybe,,,,,lets see. wood work, music , playing the drums for our band's yeap 3 off .

    dont think i have a fetish and never had one. i must be the odd one out.

    Oh yes now me Mom there was a closeness yeap got one. oh hang on no that was the milk supply dept.

    i doubt the whats his face.... Psychologist will have an easy time with me end result oh he she him her is oh what ever is bloody mad. weird infact..get out of here....

    so to ? spos it comes down to she's a her so female clothes will just have to do.


  10. #10
    Senior Member
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    Jan 2009
    I'd have to go with 'none of the above." I dress 'cause I like looking like a woman.

  11. #11
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
    The Poconos PA
    For myself these days, it just comes down to personal choice Julie.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  12. #12
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    It's my opinion that it's not the fit, nor the feel of the material of women's clothing that makes it feel better; it's the fact that wearing those clothes makes us feel better because they are distinctly female attire that makes them more comfortable. Because certainly, soft cotton scrub outfits are some of the most comfortable that exist, yet virtually everyone here would much rather wear a really pretty dress, tight fitting, scratchy lace, tight skirt that decreases our gait, whatever, because we would enjoy wearing it so much.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  13. #13
    Senior Member Farrah's Avatar
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    Jan 2008
    I was just discussing this with my wife. Of course, in male mode, my clothes are loose. However, when I dress, I like my clothes to fit. Notice I said fit, not tight (there's a difference).

  14. #14
    Rainbow Rennie Butterfly Bill's Avatar
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    Dec 2005
    Muskogee, Oklahoma
    Last year when I developed an inguinal hernia, I discovered that a pair of Wal-Mart's "firm control" panties were able to hold things in enough to keep it below pain threshold for the four months that led up to my operation. At 11 dollars for a package of two, they were a lot cheaper and easier to wash than the traditional leather hernia trusses that were available online for more than 50.

    Other than that, I like the feel of spandex leggings and nylon pantyhose. But most of my stuff is loose and comfortable.
    Last edited by Butterfly Bill; 04-28-2014 at 09:00 AM.

  15. #15
    Platinum Member Karren Hutton's Avatar
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    Aug 2005
    South Western PA
    I don't wear ill fitting clothes..... I wear things that force my body into the feminine shape I want it to be..... and I love corsets.....
    I reject your reality and substitute my own!
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  16. #16
    Senior Member UNDERDRESSER's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    Usually, wearing a skirt somewhere
    So many ways of looking at this, and so many different attitudes and drives.

    Tight clothing is a very common fetish, with several different origins and needs behind it. It was one of my earliest drivers I think, and I found that I liked the snug feeling of briefs, and the close feeling of things like leotards and swimsuits. For me, it was mostly the sensation of skin contact, it made me more aware of my body. Strangely, pantyhose was not a thing for me early on, and while I went through a phase later, it has never been very appealing in lots of ways. Mostly it's the inconvenience of putting them on and wearing them for any extended time, even with ones supposedly designed for men, I found them more trouble than they are worth. Recently, having found quality stay ups, that are actually sized to fit, this is much more like it. I get that lovely sensual feeling of skin contact, (this is not the same as sexual, but does not exclude it) the visual appeal is extremely satisfying, but without the binding and dragging around the hips and groin. I have always liked the look of garters and stockings on women, though I have a tendency to prefer a smooth look which most lingerie designers seem to miss. I have bought a couple of garters found at a discount store, which didn't really fit, I have used the parts to fabricate my own, and while not totally successful, it has indicated to me where I need to be looking, and which styles would work for me. The bad news it that one that I know will work, having gone into the local store and asked to physically see the size and style, is way outside my current budget, as are the matching wonderfully soft opaque stockings. Le sigh.

    I think that the current increase in the availability of sports compression clothing, and the growing popularity of sports where males are expected, (almost required) to wear tight, clingy clothing, (road cycling anyone?) is at least partly driven by this appeal. Not that most would admit this under torture of course.

    Edit: I am very tactile, I like to touch, hug, stroke, my GF. She, while in some ways also tactile, is very introverted, and it has to be on her terms. For the most part, I have to let her come to me. Le sigh again. I love her dearly, I wish we could be physically closer, but she is who she is, I wouldn't love her so much if she wasn't.
    Last edited by UNDERDRESSER; 04-28-2014 at 12:15 PM.
    "Normal is what you get when you average out the weirdness that everybody has." Quote from my SO

    Normal is a setting on a washing machine, or another word for average.

    The fact that I wear a skirt as a male should not be taken as a comment on what you do, or do not wear, or how you wear it.

  17. #17
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Dec 2013
    Old Hampshire, UK
    Julie - I think there are more things at play here than just your three options...

    I think it's debatable whether the fetish-thing ever goes away completely - more like other things get overlaid and added, as well as some natural decline over time (for some...)

    What you describe could be just one part of a very colourful (and possibly 3-dimensional!) fetish Venn diagram that encompasses CD, clothing (satin, silk, lycra, latex - anything!), restraint, confinement, asphyxia, S&M...

    Thank goodness we're just in one little, pale pastel segment of all that on the periphery... well... maybe some of us are in those slightly overlapping segments too..

    I'll go with comfortable but well-tailored, and materials that are just appropriate for the style of fashion - it's more a fashion thing for me now... materials with lycra are a wonderfully forgiving innovation, though...

    But that isn't the motivation - don't know what is, but it isn't that...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  18. #18
    Senior Member samantha rogers's Avatar
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    Jan 2014
    SE Michigan
    "Well, these legs haven't gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14."
    - Truvy
    "You were brought up right"
    (Steel Magnolias)

    Tee hee

  19. #19
    dressed and loving it michelle az's Avatar
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    Apr 2014
    just wear what makes you happy

  20. #20
    Silver Member
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    Oct 2006
    Central NY
    I have always loved wearing corsets and girdles, always loved that tight secure feeling. Love the stiff ladylike posture it imposes on me as well, makes me feel very prim and proper.

  21. #21
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    Jun 2006
    Michigan USA
    I am not a fan of shape wear - prefer clothes with a comfortable fit

  22. #22
    Platinum Member
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    Dec 2008
    S.E.Baltimore Co. Maryland USA
    Hi Julie, Just like any good construction job I like a good tight foundation to build on.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  23. #23
    Julie Gaum Julie Gaum's Avatar
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    Jan 2005
    Lake Worth, Florida

    Comfort, Confining or Neither

    Thank you ladies for your sincere and candid responses. The intention of this thread was not to state or imply that the basic causation for why we do what we do is limited to these two --- only that in many responses over years I read members offer first one (comfort) and then, in recent years, the constraint feeling
    as their motivation. Skipping the ever prevailing fetish attraction that, as I mentioned, could be a brief stage , a longer stage or always the main incentive ---
    your responses indicated that there are many CDs out there who sincerely believe that comfort is for them a secondary attraction. For me, these replies put the subject into a a more accurate perspective and for that I thank you --- your checks are in the mail.

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