My SO's three shocks in a day

[~Joanne~]

Well, My SO has been full of surprises lately. She never ceases to amaze me as to how well she is with all of this. Had I known I may have shared this side of me with her a long time ago but hindsight is 20/20 as it is with everything in life.

Last week she asked me to take May 1st off. I was thinking...anniversary? someone's Birthday? What am I forgetting here? as she seldom asks me to day any one certain day off. Turns out that she bought two tickets to the 2014 Women's expo. Talk about shock but when I asked who the second ticket was for her reply was "Joanne" which was the bigger shock.

I have mixed feelings about this, the femme side is giddy as all get to go see new products, clothes, and maybe learn some techniques (if I can without outing myself) but I feel that I may be way out of place there as I will certainly be in drab. I voiced this to her and then came the next shock...she suggested I go dressed.

That certainly is a no go. While I may be about an hour and a half from home, there are some people going there that I know of that I surely don't want to know anything about my femme side. If these two shocks weren't enough, the third was the suggestion that I "bring a bag" and we'll go to some nice area and I can get some outside time and she'll take some pictures.

That is a strong possibly as I haven't had a chance to dress in about a week now. I am hoping that time permits it but I guess it all depends on how much time we spend at the expo. One of our favorite stores reopened this last week and I am dying to go there and see what new stuff they have.

I don't have any questions or such....just wanted to vent about this a bit as it makes me think a bit and ow, it hurts lol

[Sandygal]

I'm now pounding my head on the desk and saying over and over.....why couldn't this be me?

[Chari]

Your SO is wonderful in stating the "extra ticket is for Joanne"! Unless you are comfortable and confident with your complete feminine presentation, please be cautious about revealing too much to too many! Enjoy.

[Tracii G]

I would say damn the torpedoes and go dressed anyway.

[~Joanne~]

Chari, I'm not all that comfortable but I am told that I do present very nicely. I think it's just the fear that keeps me from just heading out the door on any given day.

Tracii, I have been thinking about it the last couple of days since she gave me the tickets but it keeps coming back to a couple of co workers going to the same expo on the same day that keeps me from seriously considering it. They both have big mouths and I don't need that attention. I am packing a bag though just in case.

[Nadine Spirit]

Will the coworkers recognize your wife? I ask as that is the most likely source of being outed. We think we look the same, but more often than not, when dressed though we may not pass as the perfect girl, we would rarely be recognized as our males selves. But our wives on the other hand will most likely be dressed as themselves and thus easily recognized by anyone that knows them. So, if no one that knows her is going, then I agree with Tracii.

[Julie Denier]

Joanne, I know how you must feel. I'm a few weeks away from my first time going out dressed. It's something I never, ever thought I would possibly do, but it's happening with the support and friendship I've found here. Part of me is saying, "You're doing WHAT?!?" and is terrified, and another part of me is thrilled with the idea and can't stop thinking about it. I never felt a need to go out dressed, but I simply can't pass up this opportunity to find out, "What if?" You're very lucky to have this kind of support

[Teresa Monsivais]

I say go and have fun with it. If you happen to bump into these girls from work, Just say you lost a bet and this was part of the bet, taking your wife while dressed as a woman to attend a women expo, I'm sure your wife can vouch for that. But I certainly understand the concern about being recognized.

[Butterfly Bill]

Have you told your wife about this concern with your co-workers? Your co-workers are the kind of people who would be interested in something like that show, and you might be surprised to find out that they accept your kind of interest in it, because other people like you go to these shows.

[~Joanne~]

be careful, you don't want to lose your job over this.

I don't think it will cost Me my job persay but the ribbing and such would become unbearable. I am already the butt of all kinds of ribbing because they know I am going to this thing, imagine if they knew the whole story.....

The detail that stands out to me is you not wanting to be found out, Hmmm.... okay yet your SO is okay with that, so why not go.

I am going, just not dressed.

I know that with my wife by my side I can do anything, how about you? I wonder if you don't go for it will you regret it forever and will your SO be so open again?

Nope but I am at least honest about it lol I just accepted that THIS is me about a year ago....I still have hurdles that need jumping, not to say that this wouldn't be a good one to try, but I am just not at that point yet.

I will probably regret it for sure but My SO is very supportive, there will be another time and another place.

you could probably walk right up to them and ask the time, get an answer, and walk away and they'd be none the wiser. JoAnne is not expected to be Joe - their brains won't process the convergence unless you really make a scene.

I don't really have a femme voice. I have practiced but haven't developed one. The one time that I have been out, to Janet's Closet, I just used my male voice. It's not overly deep but it's not feminine either. The minute I spoke to either....they would know.

maybe you look different enough where they would not recognize you?

I am told that but I am my own worst critic. Once I spoke though it's all out the window.

If you do go and your wife or you happen to see these women what do you expect the consequences would be? If any? I personally would have thought that a guy in drab at a Women's expo asks more questions about yourself than them seeing you in femme at a Women's expo

You know I have been thinking about this for two weeks now. The consequences, especially at work, would be endless ribbing and who knows what else. I don't know how the family would react as they are a wishy washy bunch. If I got spotted en femme by either of these two co workers, the whole world might as well know....whether that's a good thing or a bad one is unknown but I feel in my gut that this isn't the time to find out.

I agree with the male at a women's convention comment that's why I am sort of having mixed emotions about even going but the up side is that i will have fun without anyone knowing it

Have you told your wife about this concern with your co-workers?

Yes we have discussed it and she said that if I didn't feel comfortable doing it, I probably shouldn't. She just wanted to offer me the opportunity figuring we were an hour and half out and chances of knowing anyone would be slim. It was her suggestion that I bring a bag and change afterwards to enjoy a bit of time outside femme.

Just so everyone knows reading this, I do plan on going and having a nice day out with my SO no matter what anyone thinks (at the convention) I just probably won't do it en femme. To many risks involved. I do plan on dressing afterwards though and going out somewhere if time permits. I certainly will take pics

Thanks for all the feedback

[Andrea Chenowith]

You know I have been thinking about this for two weeks now. The consequences, especially at work, would be endless ribbing and who knows what else. I don't know how the family would react as they are a wishy washy bunch. If I got spotted en femme by either of these two co workers, the whole world might as well know....whether that's a good thing or a bad one is unknown but I feel in my gut that this isn't the time to find out.

....

Yes we have discussed it and she said that if I didn't feel comfortable doing it, I probably shouldn't. She just wanted to offer me the opportunity figuring we were an hour and half out and chances of knowing anyone would be slim. It was her suggestion that I bring a bag and change afterwards to enjoy a bit of time outside femme.

Apologies if this has been asked and I just didn't see it, but I have to ask how well your wife knows your two co-workers. Is it possible that your co-workers would be more open to meeting Joanne than you currently fear? (I'm guessing perhaps not, but that might be an unplanned benefit of the invitation from your wife.)

[~Joanne~]

Andrea, Sorry I guess I should have added that detail at some point. We all worked together at one time. She actually knew them before I did. She doesn't work there any more but she is still good friends with one of them.

[kimdl93]

Oh, be a good sport and do it!

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Joanne, If I ever get an offer like that I will be dressed and setting in the car ready to go.

[Jessica86]

Hi Joanne, If I ever get an offer like that I will be dressed and setting in the car ready to go.

That about sums up my feelings on it. I would not do anything intentionally on my own to be outed but if my wife is with me, under her terms, and her ideas, nothing anyone else says will matter that day.

[AlexisWest]

Joanne, I'd jump at a chance to be out and about enfemme with someone you know and love. I got the opportunity to spend an entire day with my mom last fall shopping at an upscale mall in the southern part of Denver and then visiting the IKEA store. We made a system of being able to separate if we saw someone either of us knew, just a simple, 'it was nice to meet you, have a wonderful afternoon, I must be going now' and then walking away and then meeting up in a different part of the store. We figued if someone saw one of us, we'd just pass it off as a casual meeting of another shopper. Although we never got the opportunity to use it, I'd do it again if I have the chance.

[lostcrow]

Sounds like a load of fun. I hope you enjoy it!

[Tami Monroe]

My suggestion would be to go en femme, and make sure your SO introduces you as a friend, if you run into those coworkers. Of course, the obvious route would be to avoid them if possible, but have a back up plan.

[stephNE]

Your SO is a wonderful gal. I would go dressed. You will have such a great time, and probably learn so much. You might be surprised that when there you feel like you are right at home.

[Mafalda]

Hey Joanne we are looking forward for you pics...

[Ashley Lyn]

Guessing if your SO suggested you go 'dressed', she has no fears of you being recognized by your coworkers, or doesn't care..
Personally, I'd 'pack a bag' and do the 'after' thing, but go in DRAB to the show..
As often as my wife says "lets go out now" while I'm dressed, and I beg off, the stuff at work would be a real grind if the Co-Workers are anything like my step-daughter can be.... Horrors! I'm looking forward to a weekend out, but we will avoid exposure to my co-workers.. I'd love for some of them to 'know', but others can make like difficult.. IMHO.. Have fun whatever your choice..

[Jenny Elwood]

as it makes me think a bit and ow, it hurts lol

That's why I stopped thinking years ago, it hurts too much!

Loan your wife a wig, you'd be surprised how many people won't recognize her any more. But be careful, you don't want to lose your job over this.

[noeleena]

Hi,

makes life interesting ,

The detail that stands out to me is you not wonting to be found out, Hmmm.... okay yet your SO is okay with that, so why not go.

Iv been to a few and have helped out at one ,I wellcomed people in and made sure every one who had a stall were okay, if any thing was needed i did it,

the other was a very large do again im involved with womens groups so some know me ,well most do.

Im sure you'd be far better than i at dressing and look like just another woman there id go for it take the lead from your SO.and have fun , dont miss out ,

hey i enjoy being with our groups and i get to meet so many people as well.

...noeleena...

[Rhonda Darling]

Several here have the right idea, especially Alexis -- I use the same plan. Your co-workers would not be expecting to find "Joe" if they see JoAnne with the wife. Unless you shriek "all is lost, woe is me" at the top you your lungs in your male voice upon seeing the co-workers, you can just slip away while they take up conversation with your wife. As is often said here, people don't see what they don't expect. You in full femme - they don't expect it, they won't focus on it unless you draw undue attention, and you could probably walk right up to them and ask the time, get an answer, and walk away and they'd be none the wiser. JoAnne is not expected to be Joe - their brains won't process the convergence unless you really make a scene.

I urge you, DO NOT allow this great gift from your wife to slip away. You'll regret it immediately and spend a great deal of time and energy second guessing yourself.

All of this IMHO.

Good luck and best regards (and get pictures of yourself at the Woman's Expo and post 'em).

We're all pulling for you.

Rhonda

[Michelle V]

I would say if it doesn't bother her and she obviously thought this out ahead of time go as Joanne, then again it isn't me being exposed to people I know. It feels like this could be Joanne's presentation to the rest of the world, I know that with my wife by my side I can do anything, how about you? I wonder if you don't go for it will you regret it forever and will your SO be so open again?