Go shopping at a thrift store. That way she'll think of the clothes as being cheaper than hers.Originally Posted by hope springs
Also, when you first appear enfemme in front of her, say, "Go ahead an laugh."
Go shopping at a thrift store. That way she'll think of the clothes as being cheaper than hers.
Also, when you first appear enfemme in front of her, say, "Go ahead an laugh."
DonnaT
Be very sensitive to her feelings about how much time and how many times per month you do this. I would be very careful to avoid her thinking or worrying or wondering that you enjoy CDing time more than guy/girl time. I have made every effort to not decrease our guy/girl time with my SO. We do a lot together as guy/girl and I find that it has become even more delightful because she (finally) realizes that she is still number one in every way and (hopefully) finally realizes how magnificent she is. We certainly spent enough time working on these over the last decades and very intensely the last year or so. I find that the time in guy makes the time enfemme all that much more sublime. Oddly the CDing makes the guy/girl time more sublime too. Can't explain that unless it is just because she is realizing how fantastic she is and carrying herself as such.
Donna, that is a wonderful idea and probably a tension breaker.
BillieAnnJean - i am trying to be ever vigilant about guy/ girl time. Im so new i am still working out what part of my femme self and male self overlap and in which ways. What i have noticed so far:
1. Im paying much closer attention to my wifes mindset and feelings
2. More general interest in being a particpant in her life. I know that sounds weird. But i have been really emotionally repressed for a long time. Being en femme has opened the floodgates and new emotions are surfacing
3. Im being far more considerate of everyone around me. As a guy i was somewhat ego centric. Im finding that attitude fading fast.
In a couple of hours from now we are going shopping. The usual stuff: bra, panties and shoes and hopefully a nice nighty. I never gave two craps about shoes as a guy. Now its the thing im most excited about.
We talk every day about my femme self. I carefully read her body language to test her level of comfort. Some things she is happy to discuss. Others not for now. Those things that i see make her uncomfortable i immediately back off from. I did find something about my femme self i did not expect or even imagine. My femme side is multi-orgasmic. Which of course is awesome.
Love you gurls... your thoughts are invaluable and appreciated
Sounds like a wonderful wife. Wish I was in the same situation myself!!
If she's looking at breast forms and shoes for you, and she has offered to do your makeup, then I think it's pretty safe to just do the best you can with your presentation and show her. Then you'll both know what there is to work with and you can start from there. If you feel uncomfortable doing this, then you might describe what you plan to wear including makeup and wig if any, and ask if your wife will think it is too much for the first meeting.
I understand your wife's objection to getting all the nice clothes for you and none for her. I went through this. Prior to my relationship with my SO, I was the sole recipient of clothing and jewelry gifts and when I wasn't, it was because my ex bought them for another woman. So initially when I kept seeing all the packages arrive for my SO, it kinda felt the same even though I understood rationally that the things were for my SO. If this makes sense. It took awhile to readjust my assumptions of certain gender role aspects in a relationship.
Reine
BIG UPDATE
The wife and I went shopping. We went to payless where i got a great strappy high heel and a sensable pump. There were people of all ages and nationalities walking past me. I was very conscience of their presence but decided to block them out and focus on those fabulous shoes. Then it was off to Fredrick's of Hollywood. My heart was beating outside my chest. In that store i was so focused on the clothing I dont even know if there was any other customers. My wife helped me try on a waist cincher. This was her first time seeing me. She didnt flinch, offered helpful advice and allowed my preferences to shine through. She was wonderful.
Then it was my turn to treat her. I took her to Saphora. The mecca of makeup. She was like a kid in a candy store. I stood back and just enjoyed my wife being girly. I gave her advice and she taught me alot about skin tones, foundation, blending etc. I could care less who was listening. This was a very private moment for me and my wife. Just sharing
my first shopping ever and I am definitely pleased. I feel her and I have made a postive step forward. Oh, and IM DYING to try my new clothes on. But alas all good things must wait
Love you girls!
That's wonderful Hope!
Why should it bother anyone, a husband with his wife spending time with each other. So, you are close enough and interested in her enough to talk makeup, and beauty tips. Who's business is it what goes on between a husband and wife. Least we constantly say as a society that we need to connect more with our spouses, then when we cross traditional lines, we stress over the violation! Bullywhack!
Congrats! Indeed! She sounds wonderful and so do you!
Cassie
I would slow down if I was you, especially considering your "other" question. You are on very thin ice.
Wildaboutheels - that is sage advice. This is all happening very fast. I truly feel free but too much, too fast could be as bad as never discovering this aspect of myself. Baby steps, communication and patience. My femme self lept right out of me, perhaps keeping her on a shorter leash would be wise.
Could you be more specific about the nature of this thin ice im skating on? All insight is useful.
Txcassie - good to see a fellow texan on the board. Thanks for your kind words
UPDATE
I took the wife shopping for mothers day. We hit four stores and she got some great new dresses. I tried one one and she lamented i looked better than her in it. She then spotted a purse that made her literally drool, so of course we picked that up as well.
Later we talked for a bit while i had a nice nighty on. It was our first conversation with any type of femme clothing on. If she was uncomfortable she didnt let on at all.
We continue to have almost daily conversations surrounding CD issues. Her main concern is losing " her man". Ive really stepped up in other parts of our relationship to assure her this can be a net positive for both of us.
Last edited by Mimi; 05-12-2014 at 11:15 PM. Reason: Consecutive posts--just edit your post to add content.
It sounds like you are on a positive path! Stepping up in other parts of the relationship is really key--make her feel like you are totally worth the additional complications from CDing. Making sure that she got something she really wanted on the shopping outing--that was definitely the way to go.
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Hi Hope,
I don't want to spoil you progress but I'm thinking like Wildaboutheels that it's happening very fast, from my situation would probably expect my wife to hit the buffers ! I guess your situation is something that may never happen for some of us, I posted a thread a while ago called, "calling your bluff ". I posed the question that after getting fully dressed your wife asks, "so what do you do now? " It's a very hard question to give a rational answer to. I hope you keep carefully moving forward and don't regress to a situation like that.
Sorry I sound cynical but I do wish you a happy future with your Cding .
The most important thing as I see it is that your main concern here seems to be that you want it to go easy for her.
Very commendable that you're concerned with her well-being more than your own. She'll notice this, believe me.
Have fun and enjoy the ride dear girl, you're going to love it. I know some of the happiest times my wife and I share now is doing girly stuff together, whether it be shopping or nails or bubble baths or w/e.........live love and be happy........Barbie
Barbie
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