A little more bravery

[mechamoose]

Last night I went to the market to get supplies. Sandals (toe rings jewelry & painted toes) girl pants, cami, light jacket.

Just now I went out, sandals, fingers & toes painted, cami & skirt.

Nobody blinked.. except the Indian woman at the register, who wanted to say something but was just polite and gave me a BIG smile.

As confident as I am in everything else, dressing in full girl clothes still makes me hesitate (WHY!?!?!)

No consequence, no penalty.

No message other than to share, darlings.

<3

- MM

[Alice Torn]

Dittos. I went out about 8 months ago, to Walmart, a gas station cashier. I got a "hey, come here, come here, look", at Walmart, and the cashier at the gas station, seemed kind of agitated. At my height about six foot ten in my 2 1/2" heels, i feel very self conscious. Being too tall is not alway good. Good for basketball, or reaching things, but hit my head and elbows a lot, and have to stoop, and hard to fit in airplanes, and cars, hard to find clothes and shoes that fit, and very hard to find tall single gals in baby boom age.

[Katey888]

As confident as I am in everything else, dressing in full girl clothes still makes me hesitate (WHY!?!?!)

No consequence, no penalty.

Dear MM... Please stop tormenting yourself...

This shouldn't be about penalty or consequence... It's not really about bravery (well - maybe a smidgin'...) - it's about you being comfortable and doing what you feel is right...

Go with what you've got for now... If you're getting nice and knowing smiles, that has to be a good thing... I'd really worry for you if you went too far, too quickly and the response wasn't as accepting... It ain't a race...

Katey x

[Karren H]

Good for you! I still hesitate a little before I walk out the door enfemme.... Just one of those hurdles that's hard to get past.....

[Jenelle]

I agree with Katie, stop beating yourself up over this. If you want to go full femme then do it but if it is not you then dont.

[Samantha B L]

Hello Mechamoose,Hi,you may always experience a little bit of anticipatory nervousness before you dress publicly. That's OK. A little caution doesn't hurt. There are some people out there who are never going to accept the LGBT/TG/TS/CD thing that's been getting very big and powerful in the Clinton and Obama years. Going out dressed is an incredible pleasure but you do want to avoid those places with a "Pabst on Tap" sign in the window or stuff like Turkey shoots and Tractor Pulls. but you know that. I'm sure. I've found that if you are in a public place,people aren't that observant. Usually,if you're duded up like a female,in women's clothes,makeup,earrings,wig or femme hairstyle,they will assume you are female. Sometimes I think a few people can tell if someone is a "guy in drag" but they will always pass over it and let it go rather than argue the point and make a big scene in public. Nice to meet you,I'm Samantha.

[kimdl93]

Old fears are pretty deeply ingrained in us all. Courage isn't the absence of fear, but getting on with what needs to be done with the acceptance of fear.

[Beverley Sims]

Because it is not the norm.

That is how I feel.

[Wildaboutheels]

Do you WANT to "progress" or simply feel any "good CDer" SHOULD progress?

People should wear and "present" what they are comfortable with.

It is neither the duty or obligation for a CDer to "progress"...

since there is no right or wrong way to CD.

[mechamoose]

It isn't about going full femme. I'm not 'tormenting' myself. I have a full beard and I'm built like a linebacker.

That is me on the left
biketeam2.jpg

I'm challenging what is 'normal'. We have members who angst over wearing *earrings*. I wear mascara all the time. I wear girl pants every day. Most folks don't even notice. It 'conforms' enough where it isn't controversial.

Wearing a skirt crosses that line.

*Why* do I feel comfortable in my home wearing maxi-skirts and lace (with appreciative comments from my wife for being pretty) but I instinctively change into (girl) jeans when I have to go out and do a grocery run?

It shouldn't be that way :/

- MM

[PaulaQ]

*Why* do I feel comfortable in my home wearing maxi-skirts and lace (with appreciative comments from my wife for being pretty) but I instinctively change into (girl) jeans when I have to go out and do a grocery run?

To hazard a guess, perhaps it's because the ideas of "what's normal" are sort of unconsciously drummed into us by society. We see images of men in pants and women in pants. We see both of these in real life as well. Wearing fancy pants isn't that big of a deal. We never see dudes in a skirt though - so your mind is telling you "oh sh!t - we don't fit in!" I think we are built to mostly want to conform, at least on some level.

[Marcelle]

Hi MM,

I think you show an exceptional amount of bravery just being who you feel you need to be and wearing what makes you feel comfortable. We are an eclectic group for sure and we all don't have to march to the beat of the same drum. We only need to do what makes us feel good about ourselves.

Hugs

Isha

[Princess Grandpa]

I'm right there with you MM. I wander around all day in my fem pants, tops, and accessories. I go shopping for garments and buy nothing without trying it on. But the idea of being out and about in that dress or skirt freaks me out. Everyone says it gets easier the more you do it. I'm sure that's true but I haven't personally experienced it getting any easier. I can pretend I'm calm and confident. I'm sure with enough times out I would eventually be comfortable. But in the end I'm happy with who I am. I fully present when we go out to the tgirl events and I dress as I'm comfortable in the general public. We are ok sister! If you reach the point you NEED to get out there in a dress you will. If not, just enjoy who you are.

Hug
Rita

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi MM Do you still have the beard ??

[Lillyasia]

The first time doing anything new or out of the norm will make a person nervous. I was nervous but knew I wanted to experience being out in a skirt.

Go out a couple of times in a skirt or dress and it will get easier.

[mechamoose]

Been out a bunch of times yesterday & today. Skirt, Cami, sandals, painted fingers & toes... just to be me and not caring what others think.

My fingernails got commented on twice.. the skirt & clothes 0 times. Nothing but polite responses.

I am not sure if it because I'm a big 'ol beast (and would hurt them) , or if it because it it 'accepted'.. but right now? I don't care.

I just want this right now.

<3

- MM