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Thread: My first time out as Kelly

  1. #1
    Member Karren J's Avatar
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    My first time out as Kelly

    I just got home from my first time out dressed pretty. I was in Disneyland and my superb wife and I went to go see a movie. We got tickets for a 7 o'clock show but I just couldn't do it, I was wound up like a spring and I think I might have exploded. After settling down a bit we went for an 8:30 screening. I have dressed countless times but this one made me nervous as never before did I know that I would be on display.

    Stepping out of the hotel room was the worst part. I've never felt that kind of fear; it was palatable and almost painful in my chest. I know that it was and in my head and no one really cares but in the moment it feels real.

    We walked to the park from the hotel room and through the crowd to downtown Disney, the timing was good as it was only crowded not elbow to elbow. Things got easier inside me when, as everybody on this forum has said 99% of the people didn't notice or care. When we walked the length of downtown Disney to the theater I heard at least one giggle, which I expected to happen with all the teenage girls around but nobody chased me laughing and pointing as I feared.

    At the theater we found out that the movie wasn't playing at 8:30 until tomorrow! With no other plans and frayed nerves we went back. I saw recognition in at least a few sets of eyes but given the thousand + people I passed I think it went well.

    I did an internal debriefing in the hotel and came up with a few points to fix:

    - As my wife has said my face isn’t quite "right" I've since done some mirror assessments and I think that nothing short of surgery will correct my square jaw but if I work on dark and light blush I might improve the way my cheeks look to get a more feminine appearance. This combined with some weight loss and of course make up practice is the best I can think to do.

    - I need to improve my walk, smaller steps more onto the centreline and swing my arms from the elbow not the shoulder.

    - Confidence. I was pretty good but definitely was more eyes down than eyes forward

    - Boobs! As the wife said after, (why after!?!?) I had them a bit too high to look quite right. for the rest of the trip I was looking at chests purely for research purposes and the average breast seems to end about 1" up to level with a 90 degree bent arm, I was definitely too high. Lesson learned.

    I can't do much about my body shape as it is a rectangle but I will drop some weight, even a minor improvement will be welcome.

    All in all I'm glad I did it, I'm ready for more as being dressed pretty feels right and good. When I got past the internal drama it felt natural to be Kelly, if you've never done it words cannot describe the sensation of walking outside in a skirt. It's heaven. On the plus side I caught a few guys checking out my chest! At least I passed to some of them. I didn't get any pictures out and about as we forgot the camera in the room but here one from afterward.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  2. #2
    Junior Member
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    When we walked the length of downtown Disney to the theater I heard at least one giggle, which I expected to happen with all the teenage girls around but nobody chased me laughing and pointing as I feared.
    Kelly, hon, if there were teenage girls around and they weren't giggling, I'd be worried. It might have had nothing do with you at all.

    I think your internal debrief was excellent. You seemed to be honest with yourself, without being overly harsh.

    For what it's worth, while I haven't dared to go out dressed, there are other things in my life that I've done that were very difficult. I'm not speaking from direct experience at going out dressed, but from other things in my life that were scary and difficult.

    And for the record, I think you look wonderful.

    Megan

  3. #3
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Congrats, Kelly! Thanks for sharing all the details -- my own first time out is less than a month away and I can use all the encouragement I can get. No horror stories between now and then, and I should be OK. Good for you, and you looked great!

  4. #4
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    While out and about the hardest thing for me is realizing that people laugh and giggle and do all sorts of things completely independent of me. I see peole all the time that know I am guy and I remind myself all the time that they are not laughing at me whenever I hear it.

    Great job on your first time out. What a brave place to do it. Lots and lots of eyes! Congatulations!

  5. #5
    Gold Member ~Joanne~'s Avatar
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    You may not have gotten to see your movie but at least you got out which is a lot more than some of do out of the fear. You may not have completely over came it but your heading into the right direction
    Flip Flops were made for Beaches & Bath Houses, We have neither in 2017. Lose the flip flops!

  6. #6
    Member MeganHenry's Avatar
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    Congrats! Sounds like a wonderful time...

  7. #7
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    For what its worth, i think your boobs look just fine. But we have to decide for ourselves if things are where they are supposed to be.

    Congrats on the outing. It has to be a very intense step. Before i discovered i was a CD, I recall seeing more than a few CDs. My only internal dialogue was thinking " thats probably a guy". No judgements just an observation. I mention it only to reassure you what is going on in peoples heads probably isnt bigoted. Even if it were, screw them. We know what we are and love it. I hope the outing brought you some fulfillment. Even though we may never meet i can say with conviction im proud of you. Give your wife a hug for being so supportive.

  8. #8
    Diamond Member Persephone's Avatar
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    Congratulations Kelly!

    You look great! Love your skirt!

    Hugs,
    Persephone.
    "If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.

    "If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)

    -.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).

  9. #9
    Crossdresser
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    Congratulations. Sounds like you had a great time.

  10. #10
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Kelly,

    Congrats on your first trip out and what a great story and I might add what a great wife to share this event with. Yes it is quite unnerving our in the vanilla world but as you discovered most people are too busy to notice, don't care or if they do care have the good graces to keep their comments to themselves. Yes a giggle or an odd look will always occur but it goes with the territory. You will get used to that. I think you looked great and I am glad you did such a wonderful appraisal of your presentation from a personal perspective. Keep practicing the little things (movement, walk) and it will go a long way to help you blend. I recommend a bit of time watching women going about their daily lives (walking, carrying a purse, manipulating items, gestures, stance) as a way to hone your presentation. And as you said . . . look up and smile.

    Hugs

    Isha

  11. #11
    Member Mafalda's Avatar
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    I am very happy for you, thank you for sharing your experience, while reading I was somehow walking at your side... even if I've never tried to go out in public. With your wife... wonderful. You're lucky!
    Your skirt and shoes are great!
    Last edited by Mafalda; 05-03-2014 at 03:46 PM.
    The best dress in my wardrobe? A happy smile!

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member aprilgirl's Avatar
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    Downtown Disney for an en femme public debut? Wow Kelly, I have to give you a lot of credit for braving a crowded venue like that for your first time out. I do know that "look of recognition" you spoke of and it's always best to keep your head up and smile...more often than not people will smile back. Congrats on your experience and for having such a supportive wife by your side. Kim

  13. #13
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Better luck next time Kelly, I do like your skirt.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  14. #14
    Be Kind, Generous & Safe DonnaCD68's Avatar
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    Bravo Kelly!!

    Although I go out frequently to a local club to dance on TGurl nights, being in the "normal" population is much different, and yes heart pounding and anxiety as well.

    You may wish to find a local club or bar which offers a "Friendly" environment to at least help you get rid of some of the butterflies. I still get them any time I step out the front door....and its been two years since my first time out.

    Hugz and Kisses!!
    I don't break hearts.......I melt them !!

  15. #15
    Senior Member Farrah's Avatar
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    I love that skirt!! It sooo cute!!

  16. #16
    Banned Spammer
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    In the pic you are standing like a man God forbid!! LOL work on that.
    When out and about try to think more like a woman and let the mannerisms and movements come out.Don't overdo it tip #1.
    Try not to walk like a man but don't try and overdo a female walk try and glide more.
    You look fabulous in the outfit so why not try to feel that way.
    Let it flow GF and you will do fine with some more trips out.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member
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    Hi Kelly, Most people are so wrapped up in their own little world that they don't give a far rats @$$ about anybody else.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Michelle V's Avatar
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    Hi Kelly
    What a brave thing to do, Downtown Disney, wow! You've got guts, and I think it is funny how you analyze everything to improve on your look and mannerisms, way to make it a learning experience, it is too bad we can't see your make up, what we can see looks great.

  19. #19
    Member Karren J's Avatar
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    Thank you everyone for the wonderful supportive comments!

    I'm still learning how to be Kelly. I'm glad everyone liked the skirt! it feel wonderful. I'm not ready to put myself completely online so that's why I put up the edited picture, and I debated even doing that for a while. In the end I wanted to share with everyone and this seemed to be the best compromise.

    Thanks again everybody!

  20. #20
    New Member GirlyTGreen's Avatar
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    You look great! Congrats! Always nice to hear a positive experience

  21. #21
    Jamie jamie-upstate's Avatar
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    Love the dress . I think the black top makes you look too husky on top go with a light color or just a shawl111

  22. #22
    Member Keri L's Avatar
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    Dear Kelly,

    Congratulations on conquering your fear! I remember my heart feeling like it was going to burst out of my chest the first time. It gets easier.

    My favorite quote from Dune -

    I must not fear.
    Fear is the mind-killer.
    Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
    I will face my fear.
    I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
    And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
    Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.
    Only I will remain.
    “If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.”

    --Jack Handy

  23. #23
    Luiza Pink
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    congratz girl!!!!!you look great!!!

  24. #24
    Junior Member AshleyT's Avatar
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    wow hun you look good

  25. #25
    Laura So Cal Laura28's Avatar
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    You look great and congrats.

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