may have pushed too far

[nethiker55]

I had a bit of an awakening this morning.

Back to the beginning. My SO had been pulling my under arm hair for some time and I kept threatening to shave and would get mad and tell me not to. we gat a new puppy 3 years ago and he loved pulling out my hair so I shaved it off and told he the puppy did it and I have very little leg hair so I started to shave my legs a little at a time so she didn't notice. I also started to buy men's silk bikinis, string bikinis and thongs. then I convinced her that support stockings would help my leg cramps (they do) i get some made for men so they fit. I guess I have been slowly indoctrinating her. Problem is I decided to shave my pubes this week and she got really upset with me and went off on me about crossdressers and such. She is absolutely against it.
Now I am really afraid of getting caught but don't want to stop.

Any thoughts

[Beverley Sims]

Two steps forward, one step back, is a good compromise.

[Katey888]

Bobbie - sounds like you may be overreaching the bounds of what is acceptable and not to your SO...

Have you considered having a conversation before you take action - rather than taking action following a threat? It's a more positive way of approaching things, and it seems like you want to progress what you're doing despite warning signals going off at 150 decibels from your SO...

As you say - you don't want to stop, but your SO is doing her best to give you full and frank disclosure of her feelings in return...

I'd say cooling off is called for... slowing things down, showing her how much she means to you compared with other things...

Katey x

[PaulaQ]

Do you think she thinks you are a crossdresser? Or do you think she just has something against them for other reasons?

Either way, this doesn't bode well for your relationship hon. And you are probably rapidly approaching the point where she'll no longer be able to deny to herself what's going on with you.

My wife was the same way about shaving, btw. She hated it. She hated men's thongs on me too, I tried that several years earlier, not really thinking about CDing, or at least lying to myself about it. Boxers - she liked boxers on me. Support hose would've been right out.

What do you think you are going to do, in the long run? Easing your way into this without telling others very, very rarely turns out well. Of course, in this case, telling her outright is unlikely to go well too.

What's her beef with crossdressers - that's not always the first place women go when thinking about stuff like this?

[kimdl93]

Getting caught? You're already there and she knows and has until now tolerated it. Not sure why shaving in that area would be a bridge too far for her. You'll have to ask her how that differs from the other stuff.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Bobbie, Lets face it , You are a card carrying member in good standing.

[darla_g]

shaving pubes doesn't necessarily have anything to do with crossdressing. Its becoming fashionable for men as well as it has become for women.

[Hell on Heels]

You shaved some body hair, your obviously a CDer.
I don't get your SO 'a connection of the two. Are we not getting
the full story here?
I can see her wanting you to be her "hairy" man, and not wanting you to shave, but
for her to make a CD comment? Models and athletes do it, why can't the average Joe do it as well?
Tell her it just feels good and you like it.
If she wants to feel hair tell her to grow her own!
Good luck!
Much Love,
Kristyn

[ronny0]

IMO...... We only live once (that we know of) If you want to shave.....
Then you need to decide if it is worth the cost to your relationship.
We all should be true to ourselves. If we are in a relationship yet we are not living as we desire to live.
Eventually it will (most likely) all fall apart. If you have deep desires that are not being fulfilled then you need to act on it.
You could end up being a 60/70 year old 'person' regretting what you wanted to do in your youth.
What ever we are, who ever we are, we need to try to live the life that we feel makes us happiest.
To be in a relationship and feel you are restricting your activities because of the relationship is wrong.
We should want to live the life we have chosen........
(Boy I wish I could really do that!)

[Jenniferathome]

...
Any thoughts

Yes, TALK to her. You think you are "indoctrinating" her but that is not the case. She does not see it that way. You told her a series of lies and now you are surprised it pissed her off? You can't sneak your way to acceptance. You converse your way there.

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Um, so do you look like a body builder who shaved all their body hair?? If not, if you're more the puffy sort, then your SO isn't an idiot and she knows you're a crossdresser as no man would voluntarily choose to look like an over-age toddler unless he had a compelling reason.

Sorry, but few men can shave their entire body and still look hot.

[Butterfly Bill]

"Trouble ahead, trouble behind..."

Same thing happened to me twenty years ago; she started out tolerant, and I pushed the envelope more and more, but finally her own anti-ness that she had had all along prevailed, and when it popped it came forth in a rushing deluge. I don't see much of a future for this marriage.

[JennyLynn]

Wow! You are creative little girl aren't you? My humble advice...slow down a bit and give her time to adjust to things. Baby steps!

[Eryn]

Yes, TALK to her. You think you are "indoctrinating" her but that is not the case. She does not see it that way. You told her a series of lies and now you are surprised it pissed her off? You can't sneak your way to acceptance. You converse your way there.

I'm quoting what Jennifer said because it is exactly correct. You and your SO need to have some frank conversation with each other. You have the right to shave anything you want, but common courtesy also demands that you share your intentions with the person with whom you are intimate. Surprises of that sort are seldom pleasant and being lied to about why you did it just makes it worse in her eye.

[CrossJess]

One thing at a time and not to much to soon, though i would of thought having shaved pubes would be a good thing shows you take pride in how you look, just say it feels more comfortable, i wouldnt go any where near my bf unless i was tidy, wish more men would do so, also its upto you what you do with a razor its your body after all.

[Tracii G]

I see no good in what you did.
Turn things the other way and how would you feel?
If you told her you like her hair long and she gets a buzz cut.Maybe you like a clean shaven pubic area on her but she grows a major bush.
Come on you have to compromise in a relationship and lying will only get you in trouble.

[Tina_gm]

Can I please help you and anyone else to get rid of this idea that women or people "don't notice" Because they do, believe me. A wife or close GF notices EVERYTHING. they will notice anything different about you. Even if you have light body hair, take a razor to that hair and she will notice immediately. Now, whether or not she cares or wants to address it is another thing.

I can only agree with others, the lies, the slow stream of feminizing.... all without saying anything to her. The pubic hair was likely not worse for her than anything else, probably just the straw that broke the camels back.

[Staci]

I agree with the others that the only real long term solution is to talk with her when you are not dressed as a female. Sneaking it never ends well. My wife and I talked a lot initially and still have discussions about it. We have agreed to certain limits but those limits are far better than trying to fool her. Good luck.

[MeganDay]

I agree with the others that the only real long term solution is to talk with her when you are not dressed as a female. Sneaking it never ends well. My wife and I talked a lot initially and still have discussions about it. We have agreed to certain limits but those limits are far better than trying to fool her. Good luck.

What Staci said! I told my wife very soon after I started dressing again. I very much wanted to avoid the situation toward which you seem to have steered at full speed. I didn't want the lies, and the getting caught. It hasn't been easy, but it HAS been worth it. My wife and I are happy with each other. We've each set boundaries for each other's comfort, and talk frequently. It's a much better approach, I think. Honesty and communication.

Megan