You are in my prayer Suzanne, you will get through this you will be a stronger woman each day you get up out of bed. You have friend here who care and love you.
You are in my prayer Suzanne, you will get through this you will be a stronger woman each day you get up out of bed. You have friend here who care and love you.
Suzanne,
I know they are powerful feelings on both sides, my thoughts are with you but I always hope for some reconciliation, also don't let the loneliness overwhelm you.
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
Your recent posts have shown you have you have progressed at an extremely rapid rate within the past couple of weeks or so. Of course that much of a change will overwhelm your wife. You made your gender issues more important that her. I am sorry for the crossroads you are at with your life. It will be a rough time for you and your family. While you owe it to yourself to be yourself, I hope that for you and your family there can be acts of kindness to and from all of you. Your gender issues are now the 1st priority in your life, not your wife. Maybe they need to be for you, but that is not what a good marriage make. I know that this is not among the most supportive of posts here, I do wish you peace. I do hope that you can at least take some time away from gender related issues to bring kindness to your wife who attempted to be supportive of you.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Do the best you can to resolve things with your wife if you can.
I will be thinking of you and I hope things work out for the best.
Best of luck to you and your family.
Time to regroup and think of a new stratagy - your wife, kids - too important, slow down / think - you don;t want to lose out on all of that and believe me the femm stuff that we all enjoy will never go away and will be there when the time is right..........................Debra
She should. It's on her wife's mind, almost certainly. There are plenty of women who use the divorce court to take men for every penny they can get -- plenty of women you never would have expected to do it. It's financial war, and most husbands don't see it coming. They should prepare themselves.Originally Posted by mikiSJ
Do you mean that you are a divorce lawyer, or at least someone with good knowledge of the law and practice of divorce, and that you can state confidently that I am mistaken, and that moving out will not hurt one's chances of getting a good result in divorce court?
If so, that is surprising to me, since this forum for husbands going through divorce warns its members to avoid leaving the marital residence above all else: http://forum.dadsdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=13374
But if they are wrong, I would appreciate an explanation why.
Or do you perhaps mean that one should not think of such things, that it's not nice to be aware of truths which could cost one an enormous amount of money and property, and priceless time with one's children?
That, I could not disagree with more. Again, divorce is war, and war is hell. There, niceness is not only useless, it is contemptible.
In any case, the OP should not move out until satisfied that this is not damaging her position.
Oh hon, I am so sorry that it's come to that for the two of you. I know what it's like and I know it's hard.
Paula
Suzanne, I'm so sorry to hear that you and your wife are seperated, at least for the moment. I hope that you are able to get back together and resolve the issues. In any event I will keep you both in my prayers.
Please keep us informed.
Hugs Bria
I am not a lawyer and the last DISSOLUTION (not divorce) I was involved in was 40 years ago. And yes, I can say unequivocally that moving out of the marital homestead will not hurt one's chances in FAMILY COURT (not divorce court) of getting a dissolution of marriage entered into is as California is a 'no-fault' state but it MAY affect other issues attendant to dissolution proceedings.
California, where both Suzanne and I live, is a community property state and we are also a 'no fault' state. Setting aside any issues with child support/custody, the best an attorney can do is find hidden assets, have both parties to a pre-nuptial agreement live up to the bargain, negotiate asset possession and valuations, allocate marital debt and negotiate marital support (how much and for how long).
But of course, you are an attorney who is familiar with marital law in all 50 states and already knew what I posted above - aren't you.
BTW, I had lunch with Suzanne today and to say everything is fine at home would not be correct; but both want to work towards a good resolution (including staying together) as they love each other, are friends with each other and share a child with each other. She is also appreciative of the support most of her girlfriends here have given.
_______________
Last edited by mikiSJ; 05-06-2014 at 07:53 PM.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
Suzanne
My best wishes and prayers go out to you and your family. Hoping that things work out for the best
Gretchen
Suzanne, my heart feels your pain. I pray that all will end well.
Marcia (LOVES) Blue
Best of luck to you. You are living my greatest fear.
Live and let dress.
Suzanne,
Sorry to hear of your situation. In reviewing the posts here I can see that you are a wonderful person who has friends who love you very much. Although I am miles away, my thoughts and prayers are with you.
Hugs,
Persephone
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
Relationships end or become difficult for a variety of reasons.
This one just isn't on Dr. Phil very much so she probably feels pretty alone and possibly embarrassed too.
Sometimes things seem really bad before they get better.
I am happy that you have reached this milestone in your journey.
I am only sad that I don't have a gorgeous off-white sweater-dress like yours. It's to die for!
At the moment you are doing what humans do - looking for someone to blame.
But it is nobody's fault - and the more you think and regret and wonder what if about the past and that relationship
- the more time and energy you waste - which could be put toward a bright future with a pretty good ending for all involved.
Hi Suzanne,
I am so very sorry to hear this. I know this is a difficult time and nothing anyone can say can console the pain you must be feeling. I can however offer you my shoulder to lean, my ear to listen and my heart to help you through the darkness back into the light.
Hugs
Isha
Update
My wife came to the hotel crying that she couldn't stand to lose our family. She said to come home and we would keep working it out. I wen to my therapist that morning to discuss my options. She helped me decide to go home and keep trying. That afternoon my wife and I met again. We decided to see a gender therapist together. I did tell her I thought I would eventually transition but down the road. She said keeping our family together was most important thing again. I so appreciate all of the support I received here. I know this is a precarious situation and it could blow up at any moment. However, I want to make sure I have tried my best to stay with my wife and son. Again thanks for all of the support!
Hugs
Suzanne
Good luck and I will light a candle for you and your family. Be positive and never think you're alone.
@--}---
That sounds like a positive move, Suzanne - be patient, keep talking, keep it slow and steady...
Relationships and families are the most valuable and priceless things we have - they deserve your every effort and every scrap of good fortune... I hope it settles down a bit now...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
Suzanne, I'm mystified by this comment. Your family can stay together AND you can transition. I can only imagine your marriage will end but that does not mean the "family" ends. Is it just a physical presence that is defining family for your wife? I think you two need to delve into what "family" means. Two involved parents who love their kids and respect each other can make family.
Best of luck
Suzanne, I'm happy that she want to at least try to work things out. It's so easy for people to just give up, families take work. I wish you all the best and I hope it works out. Family is very important to me.
~Mel
~Linebacker Melissa
Suzanne, I am so very sorry for you. I got a divorced many years ago and I had 2 girls. Got to see them some but they grow up and I missed most of it. They are grown now and I have 2 grand children. But we never was close after divorce.
I'll pray for you and your wife. Try hard to work it out if you can. I'm setting here stressing out just thinking about what you must be going through. But this will pass some day.
Suzanne I'm so happy that you returned to your home to try and work things out with the wife.
I'm sure you can find some way to make things better between the two of you.
Taking a step backwards, doesn't have to mean moving backwards,
it can just be a change in direction. As always, slowing things down a notch,
will allow her to sort her thoughts.
Best wishes for a peaceful outcome to all of this for you and your wife.
Much Love,
Kristyn
I smile because you are my friend, and
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it!!!
Just read your last post that you and your wife both are going to try to work it out. I'm so happy for you!!!!!
Wishing you the best in a very difficult situation, I hope you and your wife can come to an agreement and your life doesn't change too drastically, time heals all wounds, I hope in the near future your life is just as you want it, good luck.
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