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Thread: I dislike making decisions

  1. #1
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    I dislike making decisions

    I know its late to post is but I really need help with making a decision. Tomorrow I am going to visit with my therapist. I realized that I'll be in neighborhood of the local VA hospital and I need to get back on my medication. The only issue is that I normally travel dressed and tomorrow will be no exception. My question is if I should go to the VA hospital dressed, bring something to change in too or just forget going to the VA hospital and go another time? I was planing on wearing a skirt and maybe some tights if the weather is supposed to be on the cooler side. I suppose I could wear jeans but honestly don't like wearing them if I can wear a skirt.

  2. #2
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    Wow, Rachel, that's a tough one. Honestly, the VA has always seemed to me to be one of the more conservative areas of the government out there. I would suggest being careful, and perhaps, at least the first time, erring on the side of caution.

    Bear in mind, however, that I've yet to go out dressed myself, so I may be being over-cautious about it.

    Megan

  3. #3
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    VA needs to be aquainted and confronted with transgender. Perhaps such things are a learning curve for them.

    First , you be you, at the core of your soul.

    I wish you the best.

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Wear what you think best, take your medication and stop worrying.

    See your therapist wearing jeans if necessary.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  5. #5
    Out and Proud Charla McBee's Avatar
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    You're already out in public dressed so you must not be too worried about any negative responses. I'd say just go for it if you feel comfortable. Maybe bring a change of clothes just in case but why waste the trip if you need that medication?
    For years I hoped I was just a CDer but now I realize I am transgender and that's alright.

  6. #6
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    Surprisingly enough, a lot of ex-military trans women get their hormones from the VA. While the military is still uncool about things transgender, the VA has had to deal with this for a while. I'd think you'd most likely be OK to go dressed. It's not like they'll have never seen it before.

  7. #7
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Yes, as Paula said, the VA seems to me to be surprisingly accepting and supportive of transgender individuals. It may well be worth the try and could have downstream benefits to you and others if they are good normal people who will treat you as an equal human being.

  8. #8
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Sorry to ask but is the VA Hospital the Veteran's Association? Ex-Brit military, so assuming this is the case.

    Can't see it being a problem if you aren't still enlisted or whatever the term is for serving US personnel.

    Rebecca
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  9. #9
    Super Moderator DAVIDA's Avatar
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    In the US, VA=Veterans Administration.

  10. #10
    New Member Alexand's Avatar
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    I'd do whatever didn't cause me stress. Also bear in mind that good people won't mind and bad people will judge you even for the way you breathe so you wouldn't want to mind what the later think.

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    Hi Rachel, I'm sure that they have seen it all at the VA.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  12. #12
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    Please explain to me how getting the medication you need is less important than wearing a skirt tomorrow.

  13. #13
    Chickie Chickhe's Avatar
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    ...if you need someone to make the decision for you, then I'll tell you to do it. Of course, I know nothing about your situation so I may be incorrect. However, since you are asking, to me it seems like you need to do it, you have a fear you need to confront.
    Chickie

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member EllieOPKS's Avatar
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    You should trust your gut feeling. If you have uncomfortable feelings it shouldn't be a big deal to put on a pair of jeans and a windbreaker for the small amount of time it takes to get your meds. When you leave you can change back. So what do you have to gain by going to the VA dressed? Really nothing.
    I never new how masculine I was until I tried to be a woman

  15. #15
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    Trip to the VA

    Based on the replies I received, I decided that I would go dressed because I needed to and I was glad that I did after all. I went in and went straight to where I needed to go and talked to the receptionist. I asked if I could talk to the doctor I needed to. The one I talked to didn't act differently with the way I appeared even after I showed her my drivers license. She got me in the system and I went to sit down, I got out my phone and sat there while I waited until my name was called. The nurse called my name and I went with her to the little room. I sat down and we got to business, she asked if I went by another name. The question caught me off guard because I hadn't thought about it because I've never really been asked before. I said that my real name was fine, though I almost said that I also go by Rachel but decided against it. I know that even if I did go by another name and told her what it was, she would be professional about it. While we were talking, she also said that she liked the shoes I was wearing and that they looked comfortable. I told her where I got them. I have read other postings on here about how awesome and professional nurses are but have never experienced it myself. The doctor was somebody that I saw the last time I was there which was like a year or more ago and didn't act like nothing was different with the way I appeared.
    Last edited by Sandra; 05-14-2014 at 01:10 PM. Reason: Merged threads and edited so that it made sense.

  16. #16
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    Hi Rachel, That was great and another barrier knocked down.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  17. #17
    Member Tina G's Avatar
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    Looks like everything worked out well for you, Very happy for you Rachel.

  18. #18
    Rainbow Rennie Butterfly Bill's Avatar
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    I have been using the VA hospital in Muskogee for ten years, and I have been wearing women's clothes when I go in since the very beginning. I use my real name and real "last four" (digits of my Social Security number, which they always ask right after asking my name). Lots of people who work there whom I haven't been introduced to greet me by my first name, so I imagine I have acquired a bit of a reputation.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I know I advised against it in the previous thread, but I am pleased for you that I was wrong and it turned out well.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  20. #20
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    Glad it went well. Sounds like their staff treated you respectfully and professionally.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member aprilgirl's Avatar
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    Happy to hear that your experience was a positive one Rachel. On a related note, thank you and Butterfly Bill for your service to our country.

  22. #22
    Rainbow Rennie Butterfly Bill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by reb.femme View Post
    Sorry to ask but is the VA Hospital the Veteran's Association?
    Once it was the Veteran's Administration, part of the Department of Defense. In the 90s they raised it to the level of a full cabinet department, and now it is the Department of Veteran's Affairs, with its own Secretary of Veteran's Affairs. (They probably added the affairs so they could keep the old initials, but I'm not certain of that.)

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