This made me smilewhen I bought my skirts out of Oxfam yesterday I went to pay after pretending to look at men's stuff too...now the young lady behind the counter didn't say anything but I couldn't help but think she was giving me a funny look (probably just all in my head and in fact she was probably thinking something more like 'oh how nice, a guy buying stuff for his lady') though I didn't really care- I am actually in love with the tiny pink bodycon skirt I bought
You can go to a store and buy anything that you like without it becoming the business of a store clerk or another customer.
I used to feel a little afraid of being "embarrassed" when buying female items. Now I just do it without thinking. I am always pleasant and chatty with the SA and I they always seem relaxed with me. What they think is of no interest to me whatsoever. I was recently buying my favourite perfume in a Dillards store and the SA said she hoped that my wife would enjoy it. I replied very straightforwardly and conversationally that the perfume was for me. She didn't blink an eye but continued the sale and handed me the goods. She made a sale and got commission and I got the perfume that I wanted and we had a pleasant transaction.
I go to Walmart at least twice a month wearing a skirt and a feminine top, but looking like the man that I really am! No one ever says anything about how I am dressed, unless it is to compliment me on what I am wearing. The skirts aren't really swishy, so they could be shorts when people look at them! Most people don't pay attention to what you are buying, or what you are wearing unless you are really trying to attract attention! I dress to please myself, not to attract attention! BTW, I have been a crossdresser for over 70 years, of which I was married for almost 50 before my dear wife passed away. She preferred me in feminine clothes!
Stephanie
Lady on the outside, but man underneath!
I can relate to what was going thru your mind. I have been in line at the store with 'questionable items' when dressed as male. As I look over my shoulder I ask myself how many of the people behind me know who I am, and how many care what I am buying vs how fast can I ring it up...shrug my shoulders and think to myself 'oh well'....
Hugs,
Trish
I was at a Sears a couple of days ago - I had picked up a nice summer casual skirt & top, was waiting on line to pay, and the sales troll working the cash register looks over at me (I'm in jeans, a light sweater, I have posts in my ears, and a headwrap), and with all the venom she could muster announces "The lines at the MENS department are a lot shorter if you want to pay for your skirt there SIR"
I've had a grim couple of weeks, my sunny disposition is on vacation, I didn't need this - So my reply was "I'm fine thanks"
No really! Why not go pay on the other line.
I think for a minute and say "Sure, you win, would you please have your department manager excort me to the correct register? I'll wait here for her, or you can ring me up"
She changed her attitude, and ya know, the transgender police didn't show up
HaHaHa I liked that, I would have also.. I returned some items last xmas to a local ladies shop one was mine one was my wifes, they were terrible fits, any way again the reason given was: wasn't happy with the gift
Hmm. Actually that would be something reportable... Sears does have a real good internal transgender policy for employees (I work for them office-wise and one other transitioned here...doesn't really apply for CDers tho or I'd go ahead and dress for workOriginally Posted by rachael.davis
I was friends with a psychiatrist who treated people for "anomalous trauma." In lay terms, she helped people who believed they've been abducted by aliens. I remember asking her how she convinced people that the abductions didn't happen, and I'll always remember her answer: "I don't!"
She explained that it didn't matter whether the event actually happened, because what we know to be real and factual is the trauma that these people had. You have to treat what's real. And trauma can manifest itself in all kinds of ways - some quite serious, actually.
I know many of you are trying to be helpful by dismissing the panic Megan described, but please keep in mind these are very real and actual feelings and emotions. You can talk through the facts of the event all you'd like - and many of you bring up great points about cashiers not noticing or probably not caring - but please avoid telling someone how she SHOULD feel.
We're all different, and we're all in different place on this journey. I'm guessing I'm closer to where Megan is because I fight these panic moments a lot, and as someone near the beginning of the journey, it's always better to hear my feelings being validated (Oh! I remember not being able to leave the house, too! That can be scary!) rather than hearing I should have more confidence, and I shouldn't be afraid.
Sorry if I came off like I'm lecturing. I just wanted to offer that perspective to everyone, because I'm confident almost everyone here has the best intentions.
Last edited by TinaZ; 05-22-2014 at 02:54 AM.
Hi Tina,
What you say is very well placed. I was about to add the 'it doesn't matter just be yourself' comment, but in fact I go through so much angst over this. The reality is though that it shouldn't be an issue. In some countries CD is illegal and I have been to one of those several times. But I attended an equality and diversity course at work last week and realised that in the UK at least, CDing in public is perfectly acceptable and if someone gives you a hard time you can make a claim of harassment. But sadly the stigma remains and I would go through the same emotions if that happened to me. It is all about dealing with these inner issues that we have and confronting them positively.
Kaz xx
__________________________________________________ ____________
This Woman Within is Flying without Wings
I understand your anxiety Megan. Once I was went to buy a bra and decided to buy one for my wife as well. At the checkout, the cashier asked me if I realized the sizes of the two bras were different? Mind you people were standing in line behind me. I said yes I did, and that one was for my daughter. while I was pleased with myself for my quick thinking, I must admit that I doubt the cashier bought it. Oh well. I loved my new bra and my wife loved hers as well. Still, to this day, she does not know anything about this.Doesn't want to know anything about me doing this CD thing. Oh, by the way, I am writing to you, and am underdressed with the very same bra. It's my problem, but also my enjoyment!
Good luck to you!
Di
You're so right, TinaZ! Thanks for voicing your opinion. It is a sound one!
Di
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