Need some advice

[Amy]

Hi, I'm Amy, I guess. I've never gone by Amy. I figured I should choose a girl name so that's what I've chosen. I just needed some advise. You see, I'm not really a crossdresser at least I don't think I am. Anyways, here's my situation. I've noticed that I think about crossdressing a lot but I don't really act on it. A few years ago some of my co-workers helped dress me up for a company Halloween party. I was surprized first to see how good I actually looked as a girl and second at how much I enjoyed it. Ever since then a part of me has secretly wanted to do it again. I keep hoping that if I ignore it, it will go away. But so far it hasn't. Sometimes I think I should just do it and get it out of my system. But I'm affraid if I do I'll just like it again a want to do it again. So that's why I'm here. What do you think I should do? I have nothing against crossdressers I just don't really want to be one so how do I make it go away?
Sencerly Amy

[Stef]

Hi Amy,

You are asking a question that everyone of us have probably asked ourselves many times in the past. You have been bitten by the bug so to speak.

I can tell you from experience, the more you dress, the stronger your desire will be to do it again. You have opened pandoras box. This is not a bad thing though. If you allow yourself to enjoy "Amy" without the guilt normally associated with dressing it provides a wonderful balance to your life. I have found that it helps me when relating to women and is a calming influence on my life. I wouldn't trade it for the world. There are others that would probably disagree with me though.

I hope this helps in some small way!

Hugs and good luck!
Stef

[Dana_cd]

I agree with stef, and I have also found that I'm much more in touch with my feelings, I dont see things just as a man would anymore, but as through a womans eyes as well, and it seems like the world has opened up to me,( as looking at things both ways now)

[Beverly591]

Hi all! Bill here (sorry, but as much as i love the feel of lingerie or how a long satiny gown caresses my body, i still don't see the need to have a feminine name). I just wanted to say how marvelous it is that someone like Amy can join this site and ask his initial question and receive such heartfelt and sound advice. I've been dressing for 32 years now and have gone through much of what people here have, including purges of my collections, hiding from my ex, and coming to accept the fact that i supremely enjoy crossdressing even though i'm as heterosexual as it gets! Relax and enjoy Amy, guilt has no place in something as harmless as a bra and panty set! Cheers!

[Rachel_740]

Hi Amy,

The bottom line is go for it girl, I have now and my only regret is that I didn't do it years ago. I feel softer, more chilled, happier and more feminine as Rachel.

Rachel

[Nina]

I too have cross dressed all my life on and off. I have also throwed out all my clothes only to start buying it again. I now live two lives. The one my friends and family know and the one 24 hours in my head that only comes out when I'm alone or with understanding people. The life inside of me is the life I want to live but can't. Ask yourself before you get in to deep. Is thiis what you want ,lying and diseaving your loved ones? Or would they understand?

[Amy]

Well, Some of you will be happy to know I've decided to go threw with it. I've thought about it a lot and figured I'm already having to deal with the worrisome part of it and I don't even know if I'll like it so last night I shaved my legs and I went shopping today and bought some things and tonight I'm going to try it out and see what happens. I'm just trying it out mind you I don't think that this will become a life long thing for me. Anyways thanks every one.
Amy

[CindyT]

I have gone thru times where I dress a lot, then there are periods where there is a long time that I don't even try because I just don't have the time because I'm too busy with other stuff.
But I LOVE to dress up as often as I can!
I found that keeping me "Girl" clothes more organized makes it easier when I get the chance. I just grab a few bags and go somewhere!
Good Luck!

[CindyT]

I realize that you may not want to be referred to as a crossdresser by friends etc. BUT,,,,,
You don't have to let them know! I think if you have the desire (like me and many others here) you should try it sometime when you are all alone.
I too felt the same way as you at one time, and I dress occasionally when I am all alone and I love it!

Just a suggestion,

Cindy

[Marissa_CD]

Amy,
My opinion is if you fight it you will crave it more. If you sit and wonder why you think about it so much you may stress out more on "why" or "if" instead of just trying it. See how it feels if it feels good and you like it do it, if not dont but if you just sit and wonder you may miss out on somthing you might really enjoy. Best of luck to you
Marissa

[Amy]

I was really nervious about signing up. I have to admit though, it's nice to actually talk to someone about it. I really apreshiate all the advice; all have been very insightful. As of now I have no plans of dressing(I gather that that is what it is called) I'm so uneducated in this stuff. I think your right Stef. If I did dressup it would probaly make me want to do it again. I still think that it might just be something I can get past. You're probably right, too, Marissa but I feel like I can't just give in right now.
Thanks again everyone,
Amy
P.S. Now this is going to sound really wishy washy but, If and when I did decide to dress how would I do it? I really don't know hoow I'd go about it. From head to toe how do you turn a guy into a girl?

[Jill]

What others have said on the subject is true, and it is up to you decide whether or not you want to do it. But honestly, I don't think you will be able to resist forever. It's easy to see how torn you are between the urge to do it and your logic saying no. If you do it, you will satisfy your curiosity. If you did want to do it, getting clothes can be kind of a trick, it depends on your situation. Most crossdressers started by trying on the clothes of their mother or sister. Someone they lived with that they could slip into their clothes while home alone. If you don't live with any females, than it is harder. I buy all my clothes on ebay, I can find nice things for great prices. Even specialty items that you can't get at a store. I also sell female clothes on ebay sometimes, so if you are interested and depending on your size, I can sell you a crossdressing starter kit. It includes a skirt, a top, a bra, bra fillers, and pantyhose.

[lara_myklund]

Go for it.
Yes, it's taboo, yes, it's unconventional and yes, it's confusing, but I'd rather explore this side of me now, than wonder 'what if?' when I'm in my eighties.
As Lara, I can feel feelings, I can open up to people (albeit electronically so far) in a way that I never could in my male persona, it has made me think about things that I might otherwise have ignored, and for that, I feel it has made me a better person.
If you go about it with care, and consideration for others, there can be no harm.

[CindyT]

I think you should just go to a dept. store, out of town, and buy yourself a matching bra and panty set (or 2). You can mix them in a shopping cart with other stuff. While you are at it, pick up a pair of pantyhose. Try them on when you are alone and no one has to know about it but you. You can put them on under your clothes and go about your normal daily routine. Then you decide if you like it or not, I think you will.

You will need to decide on a place to undress later and figure out a place to hide them when you are not wearing them, and thats all there is to it!


I'll help if you need to figure out what size to get.
Worse case is spending $20 on something you may not want to keep, but depending on the size you may be able to give them to your wife or GF!

Heres an idea, I once bought the wife a pair of those stretch type leggings (as some call them) or leotards, because they look damn good on her and she liked them. She wears a size 7, I wear a 9 and they will stretch enough to fit me too! So when shes at work I will put them on an I can even put loose fitting guys pants over them if I need to! No need to hide them, just put 'em back in her drawer when I'm done!

Cindy

[Jill]

The things that you just said Amy about how you like to be a guy and how you don't want to live a double life and all of that. I think those are good things to consider and if you decide to go for it, then you will understand the types of things you will have to face. It's not easy being a crossdresser, whether you are in the closet or out of it. I have spent about 15 years keeping this a secret, darting around, trying not to get caught, making sure nobody is home, keeping the door locked so if they do come home it will give me a little extra time to escape into my room. It's ok if you don't want to be a woman, I don't either. All of us are a little bias and are going to tell you to just do it because obviously we like it so much that we are willing to take the risks and chances. So being bias on the subject, I say go for it. At least to satisfy your curiosity.

[Rachel_740]

Hi Amy

I'm certainly not gay and I am NOT sexually attracted to men in the least. I have been CDing on and off for about 25 years now, but I am finding the more I dress the more I am enjoying it, I spend most of my home time as Rachel and i will usually take Rachels clothes with me now if I go out, so as soon as my business is done I with get changed in the car, instantly feeling more comfortable & relaxed, returning home as Rachel.
I do have the advantage that I am currently between GF's, but I am also actively looking for a good lady (need someone to look after me, lol) and I live alone (except when I have my children round). Yes, I am leading a double life, and I am starting to feel that I want to come out of the closet - if I ever will I don't know, time will tell - but in the mean time this site and a few others have encouraged me no end over the last 4 weeks or so and I am getting more comfortable as Rachel, even leaving the house (when the time is right) as Rachel.
What does Rachel do for me? As Rachel I'm more relaxed and comfortable as I've already said, I feel pretty, get in touch with my feminine side, I can be very gentle (I am anyway although I'm a big bloke, but as Rachel my hands just relax round the steering wheel instead of holding it), Rachel is much happier than I am and makes me smile and happy, she is a much more confident person than I am.

Hope that gives you something to think about and help you decide which way to go, just because you dress doesn't mean you are gay, have no sexual feelings for women or anything like that, to me it's just more comfortable all round.

Rachel

[Julie]

Dear Amy,

You say you are resisting. That means you have recognized an attraction to crossdressing. Nothing wrong with that. Only those uneducated about what it REALLY is think there's something wrong.

First start by becoming educated yourself on the subject. As much as you may not want to admit it, it is part of you. Once your knowledge of this grows you will find out you're not weird, you're blessed. Not many men can open themselves to the female world. We can't let the girls have all the fun!

Next you need to accept yourself before you can expect anyone else to accept you. It's okay, especially with today's youth, to be different. My 21 year old daughter told her friends at school her dad was a CD and they were jealous! They thought it was so cool and told her so. Transgender acceptance may still be in it's infancy but it is certainly on the rise. So relax and just enjoy the person you are.

Now for the fun stuff. Everyone needs some help when they first jump into something and crossdressing is no exception. The girls are really pros at makeup and all that but remember what they looked like at 13? It's an art that just takes some practice. The good thing is you will find practicing to be fun. I have a website with helpful links. Check out Tora Roberts for makeup tips. It's a good place to start. Browse around the website and see if you find anything useful. I just brought it online about a week ago and it still has a long way to go before it's really established.

Next is shopping, this is where it really gets good. You'd be amazed at how open today's sales ladies are to us. Just go into the store of your choice and tell yourself you're buying for your girlfriend. Take your time (very important) and picture yourself in everything you seriously consider buying. When it comes time to make your purchase you can always tell the sales lady how hard it is to shop for your 'girlfriend' if you are feeling self conscious. Once you walk out of the store with your first dress (or whaterver you buy) you will feel a thrill you have never experienced before.

Now go get that girl ready to meet the world!

Good luck and glad to have you as one of us.

Julie

[Dana_cd]

hi everyone,
that was gr8 advise julie, the way you worded it VERY GOOD,
and I agree with you, after buying that first dress or skirt, to the latest dress or skirt, I still get that thrill, specially knowing when I get home the first thing I'm going to do is try it on.

[Stelli]

Hi, I'm Amy, I guess. I've never gone by Amy. I figured I should choose a girl name so that's what I've chosen. I just needed some advise. You see, I'm not really a crossdresser at least I don't think I am. Anyways, here's my situation. I've noticed that I think about crossdressing a lot but I don't really act on it. A few years ago some of my co-workers helped dress me up for a company Halloween party. I was surprized first to see how good I actually looked as a girl and second at how much I enjoyed it. Ever since then a part of me has secretly wanted to do it again. I keep hoping that if I ignore it, it will go away. But so far it hasn't. Sometimes I think I should just do it and get it out of my system. But I'm affraid if I do I'll just like it again a want to do it again. So that's why I'm here. What do you think I should do? I have nothing against crossdressers I just don't really want to be one so how do I make it go away?
Sencerly Amy

I'll tell you how: just forget about it. Go live your life as you are. If desire jumps on you - just keep ignoring. Drink a glass of water, beer, wine, scotch, go jogging, smoke weed, take a bath, eat a cake, talk to friend on cell, ride bike wildly, go bungee jumping, mono skiing or parachuting, run after girls, go strip club, go to sports events, spend a wild night with guys, Work. Do whatever pleases you and forget that you have had desire. It passes away.

Does it work? Yes. You can train yourself not to be affected or distracted too much. What if I start dreaming about it? Dreams are best reality you can have all made up by your own mind. But we dream all sort of weird dreams.

But does it really work? No. I do not believe so, if you have desire it is going to be there. You cure yourself by actually dressing yourself in real and doing all the things that you please or give you thrill when you are dressed.

What did you choose?

[Beverly591]

Dear Amy,
Nothing about being a CD is easy if you are an otherwise average heterosexual Joe and have been perceived as such by your family, friends, business associates, wife. I think for most of us, we slipped on our first pair of panties or stockings way back when we were kids and experimenting with our awakening sexuality. I knew I was hooked on lingerie the first time i used my mother's slip to masturbate with when i was 13. So, since then, it has become a comfortable, wonderful, stress-relieving thing for me to do, whether hiding it through 15 years of marriage or now, when i can put on panties and a camisole underneath my work clothes with my female partner watching. To be starting at a later age must be disconcerting for you, and I suspect guilt is playing a huge part in your reluctance to even try it. All I can suggest is you use that week to examine exactly what your reservations are. Stripped down to the bone, you will realize there is probably nothing more harmless in the world than wearing female clothing and enjoying the feminine side we all possess. Guilt has, or should have, nothing to do with it. Good luck!

[Ted]

solid advice....

[Shelley J.]

Amy-

Thank you for your questions and comments. This has been an excellent forum. I really identify with you. I 've been trying to deny my crossdressing urges for my entire life. I have gone years without dressing. But, I always come back to it. At present, I'm doing more dressing than ever. I personally believe if you're thinking about crossdressing, you are eventually going to do it. However, you have to do what makes you feel at peace with yourself. Good luck to you. Thank you once again. I have learned quite a bit from this forum.

Love & Kisses,

Shelley J.

[Robyn_P]

The more you try and forget about it, the more you will be thinking about it. There is nothing wrong with the way you feel. Most of us have had some of the same feelings. You need to do what is best for you, but don't torment yourself over it. Life is way to short and you should be happy. Try and be more open to your inner desires. You may even find that dressing up is a great way of relaxing. I do !!

Robyn

[cfbpcm]

Hi Amy
I know that it has been awhile since you entered your post, so if you read this then we both know that it hasn't been possible for you to just walk away from the urge to dress. I tried for many years to ignore the feelings and dabbled at it for a few times over the years. But then after the divorce I decided to give it a real try, and wow what a feeling!!! I wish that I had gotten more involved years ago, eventho I'm still in the closet but now I can dress any time that I want. I'm fully dressed as I write this and feeling great. You can wish it away, but until you try it for real you won't ever know. It may not be for you, but then it might just be the best thing since sliced bread!!! If you don't give it a try, you won't ever know either way. I'm not suggesting that this is for you, but if you don't give it a try, you will never know.
This may not help your decision, but I hope that it will give you some insight as to how some others have dealt with it.
good luck
Gerry

[GirlyGirl]

the first time i dressed up i was about 5 me and my cousin used to wear his sisters tights to piss my aunt off... I guess i still like the way they feel ever since then i would steal my sisters clothes and skip school to try them on. I would do it just for the rush it gave me... what if i got caught by dad haahaha