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Thread: What Caused You to Become a Crossdresser?

  1. #1
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    What Caused You to Become a Crossdresser?

    I hope you don't mind being introspective for a moment. We all come with a history. What do you think caused you to become a cross-dresser? Society tells us that males are privileged with unearned social, economic, and political advantages which are granted to them solely on the basis of their gender. Why couldn't we be happy with our own gender's privileges? Was your early childhood traumatic or stressful? Did you have poor male role models? Did you think girls had it better in life? Were you told that you should have been born a girl? Or, was there nothing at all unusual to account for your condition?

    In my case, I have been attracted to cross-dressing as long as I can remember. My mother tells me that she was longing for a daughter when I was born. I was a disappointment to her, but six months later she found herself pregnant again. This time she gave birth to my sister. It was on a Christmas morning and it was the happiest day of her life. My sister grew up pampered, spoiled, and a princess. I grew up believing that my mother would have loved me more if I was born a girl. I thought that all parents preferred girls, because girls didn't cause any problems, and they were prettier, smarter, and just better persons. I believed girls had it better in life than boys. I also had a brother who was 3 years older and constantly provoked and insulted me. We would get into fights and I would always get beaten. My older brother was a constantly berating me. I found solace in rummaging through my mother's closet and telling her I was playing "mommy". All this was before I was 5 years old. I was taught to conceal my cross-dressing interests, as it brought shame and ridicule.

    I believe that over-valuing the female (female envy) in early childhood caused my brain to be hardwired to interpret cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. In my early childhood I was trying to gain contact with my mother, but with puberty the (involuntary) sensations were very sexual. As I have become older it is more about comfort, reducing stress, and being happy.

  2. #2
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I think it is because of family influences. And fantasies.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  3. #3
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    Genetics.

  4. #4
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    When I was a child, I was the only boy in the neighborhood and always played with the girls. Doing this for 10 or so formative years probably taught me to think and act like them to some degree. Later, when I discovered my Mom's lingerie drawer and had some fun trying things on, I became enamored. Then things cooled off for about 30 years as I went to college, in the service, got married, had 5 kids and did all of the family stuff. (During that time, never had many feminine thoughts or urges) Later, I was a macho executive and one day when visiting a BDSM mistress, she feminized me and that was the spark that lit the fire! Since then, I have had urges to dress in lingerie and more recently, fully as a woman. I get those feminine urges with increasing regularity now. I feel that chemistry is doing its part as I have ceased growing hair on my arms, legs, underarms and chest. My breasts have begun to grow a bit and my skin is so much softer than it ever has been. (I feel like my testosterone has decreased and estrogen has taken over!)

    For whatever reason it's happening, I have come to savor and thoroughly enjoy feeling really feminine! As I deal with all of the family and society judgmental issues that his presents, my softer, more girly side makes me so much more mellow! I just love being DonnaSue!

  5. #5
    Member Tina G's Avatar
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    Honestly i don't know. I did grow up with a family full of women after my father passed away when i was young but I still feel like i have always enjoyed being Jenny.

  6. #6
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    I don't know, what causes autism or ADHD? Are we asking people with those conditions what caused it for them? Is it ever as simple as a childhood trauma that could have been averted?

  7. #7
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    For me it's the million dollar question, I've got my ideas but I don't have the answers

  8. #8
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    if there is a "cause" it is internal. This question has been asked hundreds of times and never resolved. Why ask why?
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  9. #9
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zylia View Post
    Is it ever as simple as a childhood trauma that could have been averted?
    NO

    I'm on the Autism spectrum. My Dad was (but he didn't have a clue)... All three of my kids are, and one of my two grandkids are.

    It is biology, not environment. Our brains function differently.

    In 'gamer' terms, we have some stats we can topload, but by doing so other stats are weak.

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Alberta_Pat's Avatar
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    Absolutely NOTHING caused me to "become" a crossdresser.

    It is just who I am.
    Inside every good man, there is a good woman.

  11. #11
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    What 'caused' me to be a crossdresser was me trying to find a way to express how I felt inside.

    Or was it how I felt inside that caused me to be a crossdresser?

    Chicken... egg... chicken... egg...

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  12. #12
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    There was a great blinding flash of light from out of the cosmos that hit me and flooded my body with gamma rays.....

    No..... That was when I was beamed up to the Enterprise.....


    Gee! I don't know if there was a what, maybe a who?

    Me?
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  13. #13
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    All the possible "causes" notwithstanding, I believe we are exactly who we are supposed to be. Learning to work with and optimizing what we have is what it's all about.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  14. #14
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    It was definitely Petticoats, in my case!!

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mechamoose View Post
    NO

    I'm on the Autism spectrum. My Dad was (but he didn't have a clue)... All three of my kids are, and one of my two grandkids are.

    It is biology, not environment. Our brains function differently.

    In 'gamer' terms, we have some stats we can topload, but by doing so other stats are weak.

    - MM
    I have a ASD diagnosis as well, Asperger's specifically, pleased to meet you This is my point exactly, notwithstanding the fact that 'environment' can have an effect on what we consider biology. No-one ever asked me what caused my ASD, just how I deal with it in my day-to-day life (for as far as it has any effect on it at all). That's what I consider more important about cross-dressing as well: how to deal with it instead of trying to find a non-existent or non-reducible root cause.

  16. #16
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    I have to ask. If a petticoat made you a crossdresser for instance, if they didn't invent petticoats would you not be a crossdresser? Or the neighbor girls dressing you. If it was the neighbor boys making you wear a baseball uniform, would you be a major league star? What caused the fantasies? There must have been some trigger, right? You didn't sit under a tree and suddenly say wow I dreamed I was wearing a dress.
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce



    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  17. #17
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    I did say in another one of these 'why' threads we should have a virtual sin bin for anyone who asks again... but instead..

    I'm plagiarising one of Bev's answers to a related question... (here it comes...)

    I think it's just insanity (Thanks Bev! )

    And if you need proof, look no further than the old definition: Those who keep doing the same thing (asking why) and are expecting a different outcome (an answer...)

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  18. #18
    Silver Member stephNE's Avatar
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    I don't believe there was an "event" that caused me to start crossdressing. It is probably all in genetics. I too was doing this by about the age of 5. I was just attracted to my mothers things. I would put on her bras, panties, jewelry, etc. and go off to my room and play. There were a few other boys in our neighborhood, but they like to play outside and get dirty. The girls tended to play inside, read book, and I found them much more fun play mates.
    Stephanie

  19. #19
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    So then the answer is Gender Disphoria.

    Some part of us didn't feel 'at home' in our own skin.

    Is it/could it be more complicated than that? I don't see how.

    <3

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  20. #20
    Full-Time Duality NathalieX66's Avatar
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    Hanging out with girls too often when I was a kid. Girls seem like they are on another planet than the boys. All I know is I like it.

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by mechamoose View Post
    So then the answer is Gender Disphoria.

    - MM
    Yep. That pretty much sums it up - we all share some degree of gender dysphoria.

  22. #22
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by NathalieX66 View Post
    Girls seem like they are on another planet than the boys.
    So you have identified with females since you were a kid?

    I think I see your answer...

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  23. #23
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Genetics to begin with. As an adult who can control his behaviors, I do it because I like to.

  24. #24
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    @Nadine - if you control the behavior, then try to stop it, and report back to us.

  25. #25
    Jackie njcddresser's Avatar
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    I haven't a clue. I'd love to know why but have given up stressing about it and rather have learned to embrace it and enjoy myself

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