Being hit on in girl mode

[CrossJess]

I’m just interested in how you girls go about dealing with such instances because there are many cd’s that venture out into the real world myself included but there are times when the male of the specie’s will look at you and think "very nice" and may make a move to chat you up and a lot of cds can easily pass as a woman, now the thing is it’s a well known fact the cd’s are not gay and are as straight as a brand you ruler so does it make you feel awkward getting male attention and how far would you take it because when your not in girl mode would you even contemplate a guy hitting on you?...probably not.


Lol I think you can pretty much guess my reaction to this question so Ill leave it as said hehe

[Kate Simmons]

A well dressed CD looks like "fair game" to some guys, so be prepared. How far we take it would be an individual decision. In my own case, I make sure there is no doubt in the guy's mind about who and what I am before anything else.

[DeeArel]

On this side of the pond, many males have gotten bolder and skip the formalities and get bluntly to the point. Instances like these are easy to handle with a no thank you.

The ones with the more traditional approach introducing themselves, offering to buy you a drink, and making conversation pose a dilemma. It could be innocent or heading some place. At what point do you say no. Most of the time I decline the drink but will chat. If it gets to the point of an offer, I decline.

[mariehart]

I wish. The only real time it happened to me was in the Transformation shop near Euston Station in London. I'm sure you know of it. After being 'transformed', I was in the lounge area. An older CD wearing a nice dress but otherwise without make up or anything actually kept hitting on me for sex. Wanted us to go down to the changing area. I was afraid we'd get kicked out or something so said no. But he was persistent. Eventually to avoid him I went down to the shop section and started browsing.

A man came in and saw me. He didn't say anything but stared at me and followed me round the shop. I'm afraid, after rejecting the other person. I now teased this one, giving him sly little looks, adjusting my skirt. Holding up dresses and lingerie against my body. Very naughty behaviour. Then I left him all hot and bothered. I should be ashamed of myself but I enjoyed every second of it.

So I disappointed two men that day!

[suchacutie]

It doesn't matter what gender we're presenting. Look attractive and you get hit on. The techniques for generating distance are the same. My favorite is to start talking about my spouse in glowing terms. I've even asked the "hitter" what a terrific anniversary present might be.

The only time this approach might not work is when the other party is inebriated. Then a "by" is essential as I walk away.

[Beverley Sims]

It happened a lot when I was young but my girlfriends always helped me with put down lines.

The wrong time of the month seemed to work well.

Could last for weeks with me.

[Lorileah]

simple. Answer number one, you want to go out with the guy, he's polite and you like him
"Yes"

answer number two, you aren't into guys but spent a lot of time getting ready and you like being looked at
"Thank you, that is sweet but I am just not looking for anyone right now. But thanks for the compliment"

answer three, he is annoying, you don't want to date him for many reasons.

"No thank you."

You can expand scene one if you are interested. Scene 2 and 3....just direct your attention elsewhere

[Jenniferathome]

... and a lot of cds can easily pass as a woman, ...

I feel compelled to correct you. Unless the male in question is wearing beer goggles or is otherwise severely impaired, if you are getting hit on by a guy it's because he knows you are a guy and he is gay. No big deal but he ain't fooled. The number of cross dressers who can claim to "pass" are infinitesimal. People sometimes win the lottery too.

[tryingtoblossom]

I have not been brave enough...nor ready enough to venture out to have this happen to me yet...very interested to see the answers...I guess being straight and loving to dress and look like a woman I would have to decline...I would be afraid to have a conversation as my voice is not quite girly enough I may have to take lessons on that if there is any.

[samantha rogers]

If you are just out, then it is flattering but like Jennifer said, my guess is that it is rare that the man in question is unaware of the real situation, especially if you are in a TG friendly bar. In that case, it just depends what you want, right?
Of course, there are some few girls who really do pass 100%. Then it is a totally different situation, and extreme care is called for, I expect, though I certainly do not expect to ever face that myself...LOL

[larry]

This post confuses me. "CrossJess" has an avatar that says "Girly Gay Guy" . So I would guess it would be a compliment ??

[Jesse Six]

'Being hit on' is not really the issue, IMHO. Like other said, a "no thank you" is usually sufficient.

I find it more annoying that men get 'down to business' pretty fast. When I'm out in a nightclub I like to dance and socialize, no funny business. Unfortunately I found that whenever a guy starts smiling and chatting me up, and if I respond with the same, his hands will start to wander on my body soon afterwards. So, I end up mostly dancing with women now (or trans ppl), because they seem to get that, hey, we can have fun together and nothing else is expected.

[Sarah Doepner]

It seems that the only time men talk to me when I'm en femme the only proper answer I have for them is "No, I don't have any spare change."

[Lorileah]

Unless the male in question is wearing beer goggles or is otherwise severely impaired, if you are getting hit on by a guy it's because he knows you are a guy and he is gay.

what! I have never dated a gay guy! They all tell me that they are straight...absolutely 100% dyed in the wool hetero...never had a gay thought in their lives. They just "admire" my beauty.

(Did you buy that?)

I agree with Jennifer, the CDs who can pass are rare, the rest get made in seconds and are targets for guys who don't want to admit they have gay tendencies.

[typhoidmary]

I've been hit on quite a few times over the years. A month or two ago I was drinking with some friends and we got talking to these two somewhat inebriated (but very nice) Irish guys over here on holiday, one of them made a point of telling me how I was turning him on and how he viewed me as a woman even though he knew otherwise from the off. IRL I always go by my birth name so I wasn't exactly misleading him either. I wasn't even looking that great having just come off of a four hour band rehearsal. I have to say, I loved it

[Linda E. Woodworth]

I had a guy hit on me at Southern Comfort the last time I was there.

I don't pass and he knew I was male despite my presentation. He was one of those guys who chase after T-girls.

Anyway, it scared the crap out of me so badly I almost called my wife to ask her what to do! I was more scared of her reaction than dealing with him so I never called. I figured she would have told me if I wanted to play at being a woman I would have to learn to deal with it.

I did ask a couple of new girl friends for help and they rallied around me. It was a nice to see the support.

In the end he was a gentleman and respected my declining his favors and that was that.

Oh, when I got home and told my wife she almost fell out of the chair she was laughing so hard.

[Persephone]

Even at my age I've been hit on and once even "stalked." It comes with the territory of being a woman, it is how the human race mates.

I pretty much go with Lorileah, polite and without bruising his fragile male ego. After all, it is a bit flattering to be asked, so he deserves niceness in return, even when saying "No."

Hugs,
Persephone.

[CrossJess]

This post confuses me. "CrossJess" has an avatar that says "Girly Gay Guy" . So I would guess it would be a compliment ??

What's confusing out he post larry? "girly" = yes "gay" = Yes and for me it would be a compliment if some guy hit on me but the post isn't about me it's about others would do if they got hit on.

[Marcelle]

I can say it never happens to me. The closest I ever get is when guys process from the ground floor up. They see a pair of tight jeans . . . gaze keeps going up. Passable breasts . . . gaze keeps going up. Face . . . WARNING, WARNING . . . DANGER WILL ROBINSON DANGER! I agree with Jennifer . . . those who pass are rare. The rest have too many tells and any attention given (in that let's be a couple . . . nudge, nudge, wink, wink) is either booze or the guy is gay.

Hugs

Isha

[PaulaQ]

I'd enjoy getting hit on by a guy, if it was even half-way civilized. My experiences with this so far have been more like a prelude to rape rather than a come on for sex. Heck any sort of minimal gesture of civility would be nice you know like "hey, nice shoes, wanna ----?" That would be an improvement.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi CJ, I could imagine that happening in a GLBT bar.

[Paige62]

Hi for me i would find it the ultimate compliment i have never been out dressed and only dress when i know i wont be discovered that said i have worn heeled boots at work when i know no one else is around and i go walking around but would love to have the confidence to go out dressed xxxxxx love hugs and kisses Paige

[WhisperTV]

If he was cute I'd love it, if not I'd still take it as a compliment.

[PretzelGirl]

I also want to reaffirm that most of us don't pass. And we are not all straight. Just as many of us are gay as there are in the cis community.

As far as what to do when being hit on? Maybe someday I will be able to tell you.

[Katey888]

Y'know, I think we're all missing something here...? Please don't ask me to bring a fully formulated idea to the forum - on a holiday weekend too (and it is here in UK as well) - but given all the acceptance we mostly have around non-binary gender and also non-binary sexuality, is it not possible there is a small but specific sexuality nature that falls somewhere between gay and bi (probably) that does not find males presenting as men attractive but is attracted to males presenting as female? Particularly where those males (if you accept this about most of us) really are TG to some degree and therefore are able to express a genuinely female aspect to our persona...?

Like I said - half-formed idea, cast out here as pearls of wisdom.... (now exits for second coffee and before the real debating starts...)

Or they're just kinky and we're one up from Dolly resident in the field next to the pub...

Hasn't anyone who got hit on (Girly Gay Guys aside in this one..) actually asked the hitter why they do it? That would be an interesting conversation... but probably no more illuminating than us asking ourselves 'why' we do what we do.... Time for that coffee now...

Katey x