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Thread: Just...why?

  1. #1
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    Just...why?

    So I've been reading a lot on this site, and a subject that often comes up is "why?"

    I'm sure I'm not first person to posit this, but why do we CD? I'm talking specifically about those who are male, who feel male, but dress to feel female anyway. What types of feelings drive this feeling? If we don't feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body, nor do we all feel like it's a sexual/fetish thing, then why do we dress?

    I've actually been wrestling with this line of thought for a while here. Because I don't fully understand it. Thoughts?

    -Nicole

  2. #2
    Senior Member Laura912's Avatar
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    You might wish to do a search on the site about this question.

  3. #3
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    Each of us has a particular idea or goal they hope to accomplish, which is why IMO there are probably as many reasons to "dress" as there are CDers! Enjoy.

  4. #4
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    Yeah it probably would have been easier to search. Derp. Ignore me then.

    -Nicole

  5. #5
    Live it! Love it! BeckyAnderson's Avatar
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    It wouldn't make a difference to me as crossdressing is as much a part of me as an arm or leg.

    Personally, I believe crossdressing is "instinct" for many of us.

    Full Definition of INSTINCT1: a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity <had an instinct for the right word>


    2a : a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason
    b : behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level

    I feel that crossdressing is more of a genetic thing or, at least, something that happened to us prior to exiting the womb, therefore beyond our control.

    These are only my thoughts and not meant to be provoke argument.

    Hugs,
    Becky

  6. #6
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    Why does the sun shine? Why does the moon give off a romantic glow? Why ask why? Just go with it and enjoy it and ask, why not?

  7. #7
    I defiantly feel like a girl in a mans body, always have, then again I have no desire to go the full gender change because this mans body that I'm in is a good one and comes in very handy at times when you want a guy to do something around the house i just ask my self haha jking, joking aside I've worked hard to get it looking girly and I'm happy and it's all about working around the hand I've been dealt, I hope that when I eventually leave this world ill take on the female with in.

    Some people crossdress because they just want to dress different from the others, for me I dress because I love girls stuff
    Last edited by CrossJess; 05-21-2014 at 08:08 PM.

  8. #8
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Why does the sun go on shining,
    Why does the sea meet the shore,

    Why doe my heart go on beating,
    Why does the moon shine above....

    A silly song from skeeter Davis. Yes I am that old!

    But to your point, this question has been asked at least once weekly here for the four years I've been in the site. There are a number of answered based in valid research and and infinite number of silly conjectures. I won't bother repeating them all. It's sufficient to say that there is a strong likelihood that the predisposition to CDing has genetic and developmental (meaning after conception) hormonal influences in the womb. Mom may or may not have wished for a girl...

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  9. #9
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    Hi MWAB, If I have to explain it to you , then you probably understand it anyway.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  10. #10
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Because we don't feel at home in our own skin.

    - MM
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  11. #11
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I think , that after having twin boys, my parents were definitely hoping for another girl, as their first child was. I think the karma of wanting a girl had an effect on me, being prone to this.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  12. #12
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    MWB-- why do we dress ??? I believe that there is a biological link that has caused us to have varying degrees of gender disphobia. It is not an addiction , it is not behavioral nor can it be controlled with behavior tactics nor is it a hobby . Melissa is a part of my soul and she needs expression . Many times I wish that there was a pill or a shot to relieve me of her, but the truth is , one cannot rip part of one's soul away by taking a pill or a shot. My advise to you my friend is to accept the feminine part of your soul and let her live without shame or regret. I hope you find harmony & inner peace, mel

  13. #13
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    Why Not ?

  14. #14
    Gold Member Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    You will get as many answers to crossdress as there are crossdressers. I've worked through so many reasons I've lost count. I really love expressing myself as a girl but don't want to be one so it's hard to figure out.
    I gave up trying to figure it out but sure wish I did have some answer or what triggered it all.

  15. #15
    Carbon-based Member eileendover's Avatar
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    Hi Nicole,

    First, map out your entire DNA sequence, then measure the exact quantities of all the various hormones in you that might affect your masculine/feminine behavior. Next, catalog and evaluate all of the gender-related cultural influences you have been exposed to over the years, both real-life and from every medium. Finally, record your autonomic responses to various cross-gender issues and track those over time. Sorry, but I've temporarily lost the actual formula (I think it's somewhere in my lingerie drawer).
    But there you have it!

    hope this helps!

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    When you were a little girl, didn't your parents tell you not to ask why?

    Oh! You were a little boy?

    Why do people keep asking why?

    Why weren't you born a girl?
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  17. #17
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    The simplest thing is to simply consider/look up Pavlov and his dogs. [if you aren't familiar with it] That will get you pointed in the right direction. It's also pretty easy to see which threads receive the most attention, over and over again.

    And of course there are also all those "other" "bad" CDing sites that don't seem to be so family oriented as this one. You probably drove by a whole slew of them on your way in here?

    I'm going to hazard a wild guess that unless you are "fiftyish", you probably do not have an amazing collection of granny dresses and flats either? They are not nearly as useful as other types of women's clothing.

  18. #18
    The Girl will Out! Kaz's Avatar
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    I found giving this side of me a name and accepting her as a friend very helpful. So Kaz is with me every day and is not only a part of me but a very dear friend. I don't ask why anymore...
    Kaz xx

    __________________________________________________ ____________

    This Woman Within is Flying without Wings

  19. #19
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    Hi Nicole,

    I stopped trying to figure it out because there are too many nurture/nature explanations out there of which most are grounded in tenuous grasps on science. Specifically there is no true body of literature which can point us in any direction. Besides "cause" implies "cure" and cure implies there is something wrong with us. I tend to believe I do what I do because that is just part of me and as such, I just embrace and accept. Some people might not like, others might think it is weird and some may even be hostile about it. However, I am not going to look for an explanation as to why I dress like a boy so I won't for why I dress like a girl.

    Hugs

    Isha

  20. #20
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
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    Nicole - you are not the first by a country mile to ask this question...

    Although you may have been reading a lot it's probably not enough - I think the truth is in there, somewhere, amongst the terabytes of meanderings we all make here... and it's BIOLOGICAL

    If a 5 or 6 year old boy puts on a girls hat and likes it, it has sweet Felicity Arkwright to do with conditioning and Pavlov and his furry friends - in my book it must be innate - but we simply don't know enough about the complexity of what makes up human personality to identify a simple why. It's probably a complex 'why', in fact, like the complexities of other psychological conditions.

    I have been told and taught why we get warmth from the sun - but if you start thinking too much about why and how that really happens, and how light can exert pressure (similar principle to the good ole H-bomb), and how the sun converts 600 million tons of hydrogen to helium every second, well, that's blown my mind and my day thinking...

    So - on the sound principle of "If it isn't something you can influence, don't worry too much about it" - enjoy your day.

    And the next time this comes up, can someone at least use 'wherefore' rather than 'why'? It's so much more poetic...

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  21. #21
    Member Dena's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BeckyAnderson View Post
    It wouldn't make a difference to me as crossdressing is as much a part of me as an arm or leg.

    Personally, I believe crossdressing is "instinct" for many of us.

    Full Definition of INSTINCT1: a natural or inherent aptitude, impulse, or capacity <had an instinct for the right word>


    2a : a largely inheritable and unalterable tendency of an organism to make a complex and specific response to environmental stimuli without involving reason
    b : behavior that is mediated by reactions below the conscious level

    I feel that crossdressing is more of a genetic thing or, at least, something that happened to us prior to exiting the womb, therefore beyond our control.

    These are only my thoughts and not meant to be provoke argument.

    Hugs,
    Becky
    I like this, thanks Becky!

    For me, it started from exploring the different fabrics and sensations of girls clothing. There was noting like it in my boy's wardrobe. I tried it and I liked it!

  22. #22
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I feel like a woman in a woman's body. But for some inexplicable reason, my female body has some male attributes. Probably an accident of birth, but ultimately, not very important.

    For me the question isn't "why do some men want to be women?" The real question is "why are some women born with male attributes?"

  23. #23
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Take a look at the other topic "What caused you to crossdress".
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  24. #24
    Gold Member DonnaT's Avatar
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    I consider it to be a characteristic I was born with, and was awakened by one or two events in my life.

    This falls under the umbrella of being trans, to some degree; there is no one way to be trans.
    DonnaT

  25. #25
    Member julia marie's Avatar
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    No easy answer, so we either accept it and enjoy, or we stress about it. Some factors that I have seen in my personal case: curiosity about what it's like to be a woman (I know, we can experience only a tiny fraction of what they do); release to wear bright colors and new fabrics; rebellion against what society says we should do; desire to break down the gender barriers; possible latent homo/bisexual feelings;strive to look pretty (not happening); and something I can't define. That's a start, but I think everyone here has different driving forces.

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