Shock of my Life...

[ShadowWarryor]

Alright, so I am very lucky and so grateful to even be alive today. Literally alive. I'm still so shocked of it really. I am highly allergic to gluten, and that being said I have unknowingly been killing myself from the inside out without even realizing it. Well today I found myself struggling to breathe, unable to even move, slowly feeling as if I was dying a slow painful death.

In that state it truly opened my eyes, and showed me who I really am and just how precious life is, because it can literally be taken away in an instant. Fighting for my existence, I found myself killing all the roles placed on me and seeing the light of how miserable I really was being the puppet everyone wanted me to be. I saw myself dressed in white, so majestic, not a care in the world of what anyone thought of me, because I was happy being who I was. Happy being the very person I have been hiding in the shadows. Why waste such a precious life trying to please everyone? When it can literally be taken away in an instant.

I'm alright now, went to a doctor and all. My throat is pretty damaged from the inside and I don't even wanna know what hell my stomach has been through. I'm just happy to be here.

How it started... Well.. I've been taking my brothers muscle milk, thinking it was the same gluten free muscle milk (being as it was in the same container.) Only thing I didn't know was that he had been transferring his gluten contaminated powder from the bag to the one that said gluten-free. Again I am allergic, it's known as Celiac Disease. Which is an autoimmune response to gluten where the body literally begins to attack itself.

At first I wasn't drinking it all, but last night I randomly decided to double my intake. I started to feel weird but nothing really came to mind. Thank goodness I took my allergy medication before bed and doubled it. I had the random urge to take it. If I hadn't of taken it well... I wouldn't be here writing today.
Only way I realized what was wrong today, was because I randomly ran to the kitchen to look at the muscle milk label only to hear, "That one isn't gluten friendly, I've been transferring it from the other bag because it's more convenient".
Oh the horror I felt when I heard that. The doctor just told me it was allergies from the changing seasons, although she was skeptical about the throat so she sent tests that would come back tomorrow.

Overall I plan to start transitioning fully as soon as possible. I'm no longer going to live a lie and live for others. They can't live my life, it's not theirs. If they think so, I'd love to see them having a near-death experience and saying otherwise. Life is a fragile thing. No one else can live it for you, because once it's gone. It is gone.

On another note, I found out my job offers insurance that covers transgender expenses!!!!! Which is pretty awesome news to me!

Live your life XP for no one else can live it for you.