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Thread: How old were you when you first told someone?

  1. #1
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    How old were you when you first told someone?

    It seems that the earlier in life you share your crossdressing with others, the easier it should be. Without a long history that says you are just another guy, without a career or extensive family involvement it seems now that it would be simpler to broach the subject. I'm almost ready for Medicare now and it's difficult to place myself in that moment so many years back. As we age and keep this to ourselves we build a very large and complicated gender identity structure around our life. Each point of contact seems to be critical because that person has expectations and other contacts that create a potential for great loss. This would be particularly strong in the case of those with a career fearing potential damage. While that is resolved once we retire, the family has changed and now the kids we never told have children of their own. It becomes easier and easier to come up with excuses to stay hidden and in the closet as we grow older. I can't go back and change any of that history, but it would be nice to place it into perspective.

    So, those who have told family and/or friends that you are a crossdresser, how old were you when you did that? Is this just my hangup or are there others out there who find it more and more difficult to share this as they age?
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  2. #2
    Member
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    I just started telling people right before I joined the forum. at 35
    Dana M

  3. #3
    Junior Member Brandi Lesalle's Avatar
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    this forum gave me the courage to tell my wife last fall...I'm about to turn 38

  4. #4
    Just being true to myself Jolene Robertson's Avatar
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    Hi Sarah

    I stayed strictly in the closeuntilll I retired and moved out of state at 55. My wife had noticed several indicators over the years and finally asked, we do not lie to each other so I came out to her. I wish I had done it earlier but it has been good for both of us. I'm still not out to anyone else who knows the male me for a number of reasons, family being #1. But when we get out of town I'm free to dress however I want and it is nice to be Jolene for a while out of the house. I could never have gone out before I retired for fear of being outed and all threpercussionsns that would have gone with it.

  5. #5
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    sort of hinted around it for years but this is my midlife crisis. I really started coming out at 40
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Christie ann's Avatar
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    You mean when I was a teenager in the 1960's and I told my dad and he told me that men who want to be women or dressed like women were sick. That pretty much stopped me from telling anyone else until I told my GF now my wife who told me that I needed counseling. I did tell a lesbian friend who welcomed me with somewhat open arms. Other than that I am pretty quiet about this.

  7. #7
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    I guess I should add this. My wife became aware of my crossdressing when I was in my early 50's and like so many others, I recognize I should have told her much sooner. She passed away a year ago and it put me back in the closet as far as family and friends go. I'm in a local support group and go to DLV, but I'm going through the same rationalization about not telling anyone as I did back before my wife found out. It sucked then and it sucks now and I'm attempting to find a good way to fight through the excuses so I can tell my adult children. It's something I need to do.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  8. #8
    Senior Member Farrah's Avatar
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    I finally told my wife about a month ago. I am 36. My wife is the only that knows as well as some random SA's. My family does not know and I plan to keep it that way. My wife knows and that's all that matters right now. I think my mom knows/knew, but I she didn't say anything about it. Wish I would've done it sooner.

  9. #9
    Amanda countrygirl's Avatar
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    Told my sister at 23
    Amanda

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member dana digs sweaters's Avatar
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    Told my next older sister at 12.
    Wasn't quite Halloween when we had the conversation.

  11. #11
    Hmmm interesting post because I cant really answer it to well, it just kind of just happened for me I didn't tell anyone because I didn't have anything to tell as nothing was a secrete. Age 6 I started stepping over the line with girls wear all because I met my best friend jojo "a girl" at the time and she would dress me in her stuff when I was around hers usually because my stuff got dirty trouble was wearing her clothes was rubbing off on me and got to the point wear I preferred it to boys stuff because it was way cooler also it was the 80s and lots of boys were looking girly so I didn't really stand out, when you are that young and do it from that age people just get used to you I suppose, was also very lucky that mum always wanted a girl but she never got one so seeing me in girls clothes was a good connection so mum never held back with me wanting to dress as a girl.

    Really glad I met JoJo when I did because reading some of the horror stories here about cds living a secrete life and living in fear of what their partners will do and say it's so sad, that would of tore me to bits.
    Last edited by CrossJess; 05-22-2014 at 06:51 PM.

  12. #12
    Member AprilMayy<3's Avatar
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    I was 13 when I first told someone, and it went very well for me. She accepted it, and now 5 years later she's supportive of it and helps me with it in small ways. I've told multiple people since her, though other than my sister and mom, she's the most supportive. And I'm pretty sure I thank her everyday because of it lol.

  13. #13
    Platinum Member
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    Maybe seventeen

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  14. #14
    Platinum Member
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    Hi Sarah , It was 50 Years ago when I was 21 and I told my new wife and to this day she is the only one that knows.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  15. #15
    Gold Member
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    I believe that anything that we perceive as negative becomes larger as it ages even if it is the exact same situation.

    I believe my wife was brought in at about 41 and we told the first "other" person at about 47

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    My parents knew when I was young but it was never discussed.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  17. #17
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    About thirty-five, the person was my ex-wife. Worst decision ever.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law.

  18. #18
    Banned Spammer
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    I think the first person that I ever brought up GID to was a guy that I was sleeping with at the time. He was not too supportive about it, thought I was nut's. Pretty much kept it to myself until I met my wife 4 years ago.

  19. #19
    Carbon-based Member eileendover's Avatar
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    Still no one (other than all of you here).
    Last edited by eileendover; 05-22-2014 at 10:28 PM.

  20. #20
    Senior Age Member sissystephanie's Avatar
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    I told my wife-to-be when I was 23. She thought it would be fun for the two of us to dress as females and go out in public, which we did frequently. My children were told when they were grown.
    Stephanie

    Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

  21. #21
    Transgender Member Dianne S's Avatar
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    I told my mother when I was about 22. Told my fiancee (who is now my wife) shortly thereafter.

    Then things lay dormant......

    ..... until a couple of months ago when at age 47, I came out as TS to my mother, wife, children and sisters.

  22. #22
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    My wife found out when I was about 40 years old, she pasted away about 2 years later, told no one until I was 68 years old. Now , I have told family and 7 other people (hair solon and nail solon) dress fem 99 % of time now, hair is past my shoulder blades and colored, have long nails mostly polished all the time, each ear has three piercing and I always wear ear rings, eye brows are waxed to a fem shape, I guess I finally stopped thinking about what other people thought and just lived my life how I wanted, don't know why it took me so long. So who did I tell, I guess every one now by the way I look. VERY HAPPY WITH MY LIFE NOW... Marshalynn

  23. #23
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    Age 27 to my fiancée at the time, now wife. Then my mother over the phone whom said "well i'm wearing slacks" after I told her that i'm wearing a long black satin skirt. Then some of my female friends, who some gave me some of their old clothes.
    Bridgette

  24. #24
    Member wanda66's Avatar
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    Not a soul. Here is the only time that I have admitted to crossdressing. I am soon to be 67.

  25. #25
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    I first talk to my minister at church when I was 16, and my wife before we were enaged 25 years ago.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

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