I am seriously thinking about becoming single parent and nurture my children as both mother and father. I will live as mother when I feed my child or doing feminine household affairs. I will live as father when I do masculine household affairs or exercise with my children.
What do you think about it?
I think it will only reenforce the stereotypical view that only women should do certain household chores. I believe children should learn it is OK for a man to was dishes and do laundry just as a woman can fix a car or change a light switch.
Kelley
The minute you think of giving up think of the reason you held on for so long
I am with Kelley. If you plan to go with a dual role switch it up and reinforce the open mindedness in your child instead of the stereotypical thoughts that alot of people have. Let your child know that it is ok for you to be anyone you want.
Erica
Missmars,
I have no knowledge of South Korean culture but if you have the financial or family support and your circumstances are forcing you to make this decision will anyone object to you raising your children this way ? As a single parent your children will accept you in both roles, I assume as mother you intend to dress as female but will you alter your dress in male mode ? I assume that is part of your question ? What should you do ? I guess you should stay in one mode and not confuse the children until they're old enough to understand !
I think in the UK depending on the circumstances social services would possibly intervene !
Last edited by Teresa; 05-30-2014 at 06:27 AM.
I'm with Teresa on this one. Your responsibility as a father is to provide, protect and influence with a strong male role model position. Children need examples to refer to from their upbringing to help them mature and learn how to succeed in life. The focus has to be only on them. This is not an experiment and it's not about you and your crossdressing. The correct approach is to be the best parent you can. And you are the male parent. As they age you can imply tolerance and acceptance but, don't have them confused with the dual gender thing. That would be a selfish and IMHO cruel thing to do.
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I single parented 3 children and was both father and mother to them by necessity. I don't think you will find it helpful to try to separate the roles. Your children will need both fathering and mothering on their schedule, not on yours; and they will not care what you are wearing. My recommendation is keep your CDing low key. Single parenting is brutally hard, you will not want anything adding more confusion and complexity.
To me it is the children that are important here, and what is best for them takes precedence. CDers can make good parents by using their sensitivity to relate better to their children as real people.
Love,
Vale
If you are in touch with your feelings, it doesn't matter how you present. Your children will love and appreciate you either way.
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I agree with the ladies, and I want to add that if possible, a child should have two parents, so they can be cared for by one while the other parent is out earning money. One day they will ask where the other parent is, and so will their friends.
Children are not a fantasy. They are real beings who deserve and require parents who take the responsibility seriously. The burden of parenting alone can be financially and emotionally overwhelming...regardless of what gender the parent identifies with.
Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.
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Appallingly horrible idea in my opinion.
It's one thing to come to a place in your life where you choose to share your gender variance with your kids. While there are pros and cons in doing so, many in these pages would encourage a level of honesty with your children, especially if you have sole custody.
But what you have described is akin to a fantasy roleplay where your presentation matches up to (as others have pointed out) stereotypical gender roles. This is not dress-up playtime, you are a parent. Step up and do what's right.
Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)
I don't think this is a good idea, either. First, even if you separate from your wife, your children will still have a "mother." Secondly, and I'm not sure how old your children are, but you are likely subjecting them to something that their minds are not ready to handle. That could have significant, and unfortunate, consequences.
This isn't just about your feelings, it's about raising your children. Your dual role risks confusing them (as if a crossdressing father isn't confusing enough!). Be the father you are, not the mother you are not.Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
The whole idea reeks with stereotypes. You don't have to be a woman to feed your kids or do housework, nor be a man to change oil in the car. Having a dual role teaches the children exactly that there are things that are meant to be done only by men or by women.
While I'm not a single parent. Essentially I am Mother and Father to my children until my wife comes home and takes on some of the job. I don't need to dress differently for different roles.
On the other hand as I understand it, Korean society is still largely patriarchal in character in a way that is now unacceptable in western society. So differentiating between 'feminine household chores' and 'masculine household chores' may be acceptable in Korea.
To me they are just household chores.
I disagree, it is a bit mind bending on the children I think.
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I think you could be one persona and still do the things a father and mother could do. Single mothers try to the best of their ability to teach their kids without the father being around. If you are a male or female and cross dress you could just give them the best of both worlds.
Hi Missmars, Have you really thought this through ??
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