Hi all . . . promise not a rant or ramblings of Isha's mind but, just a story about an encounter I had yesterday.
I had taken an Isha day yesterday because I wanted to buy some Capri pants I had seen while shopping "en boy" with my wife (she actually suggested the Isha day so I could try them on - I do not do the boy trying girl clothes on thing). So, after getting dressed (first time not using beard cover . . . just foundation - laser is a wonderful thing) and trying some nail art (purple polka dots on yellow - fingers / toes - opposite colours) I grabbed my keys and drove to the city. I took public transit down to the city center and went about my day. I did meet up with some GG friends for lunch and talk, got my pants (love them) and decided as Isha always does . . . Starbucks, reading and people watching to finish out the day.
I normally like to sit outside but it was full so I had to sit inside. Now it was busy with lots of folks and I found a corner table next to a group of young women (20 something). I got a few stares and there were some hushed whispers conversation probably went something like this:
Don't all look at once but I think that is a guy . . . and naturally they all turned around and looked When this happens, I normally just smile because I know it is curiosity and not meanness.
I continued reading and could overhear their conversation and they were talking about the new series that came out "Dracula". I know the series well as being fans of all things horror my wife and I have watched it. Now I got the distinct feeling as I was reading and the table conversation was a bit more quiet that I was getting stared at again. So I looked up and they were staring. So I just smiled again and then one of the women said "We really like your nails". I said thank-you and then one of the other said "Sorry, but we have to ask . . . uh . . . are you a . . . " Now I suppose I could have got upset over such a direct question but they were young women and to be honest it was a legitimate question so I let them off the hook and said (girl voice mind you) "Yes, I am a guy". Now this led to me being pulled into their conversation but it was just talk and most of it centered around television series they like to watch . . . the topic of me being TG never came up (at least not for a bit of time).
There was an awkward silence moment (you know when conversation starts to die down) and then one of the women simply asked "Why do you do it? Go out dressed like a girl I mean" Let me put this in context for you. This was not a facetious question but one of curiosity. You have to admit to the uninitiated it can seem quite odd "Dude dresses up like a girl. Doesn't look like a girl but just plops him/herself down in the world for all to see" So I cut her some slack and responded back with "Good question but I am not sure I can explain it so you would understand as it is just something that feels so right" She may have been shaking her head and saying "I see", but I don't think she understood. Then a perfect analogy dawned on me since she was one of the women who absolutely loved the new Dracula series. Bear with me now as Isha is about to get all nerdy on you
I asked her if she remembered the episode where Dracula walks in the light of day for the first time in 400 years to which she said it was one of her favorite episodes. I asked he did she remember how the actor portrayed Dracula as he felt the sun on his face. She responded "pure and utter joy". To which I responded "that is me". She was still a bit confused so I told her I might not be a 400 year old vampire but I have hidden this part of me from the world for a very long time and when I made the active decision to come out and finally go out it was like finding a lost part of me. Much like Dracula revelled in the feeling of the sun on his skin after 400 years, I revelled in the feeling of sun on my face "en girl" out in the world with people around me no longer having to hide in the darkness. This is the feeling I kindle each and every time I go out.
I am not certain she got the entire analogy but she did seem to understand. At that point I had to catch my bus so I thanked them for the pleasant inclusion and left. Will I ever see these women again? Most likely not as it is a big city. However, it did feel really good just to be another person in the conversation. So like Dracula who yearns to be out in the sun, that is the reason I like to take Isha out in the world so she can be just another person with the sun on her face.
Hugs
Isha