Sveta, your experiences parallel mine. Many years ago, I first found acceptance and encouragement in the BDSM community, my wife and I are still active there, though it is only one of our worlds. I am a switch and have had a lot of fun topping as well as bottoming.
No experience here either, but I once had a very masculine male in a very feminine French Maid's uniform standing in line after me at the local Safeway. I acknowledged him (this is the proper pronoun in this case) and he politely and in a voice nearly an octave lower than mine said "party games". I think I can say with about 95% certainty that he was a sub and that his domme (male/female/wife/BFF/rental) 'asked' him to run down to the store and get some ice cream.Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Jennifer, I don't think the two concepts are mutually exclusive. One of my favorite story quips was from B'rer Rabbit to Br'er Fox - "Please don't throw me into that briar bush'.
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
Hi Sveta, That is an area that has always fascinated me although I've never had a chance to be involved.
Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......
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I've been a Fetlife member for some time, monitoring the activities of the local group(s), and even attended a vanilla gathering once. There seems to be a core group that's pretty active. Ime, I don't think acceptance (or at least tolerance) would be a problem if I decided to participate more, but there doesn't seem to be much interest in TGs (or maybe they'e just not interested in me). Guys message me pretty often but they're basically just horn-dogs looking to get laid. I've spelled out my own kinks pretty thoroughly on my profile, and expressed interest in others, but all that's largely ignored by the chasers. Needless to say, they don't get very far with me.
As for the humiliation kink, it would be pretty hard to embarrass me based solely on my dressing cuz it's, like, what I do, right? But there are situational scenarios that could push that button ...
A couple of additional observations ... there seems to be quite a bit of interest in bdsm among the younger crowd, which is interesting. Locally, obesity seems to be predominant. Not judging, but I find it a bit odd among people who place so much emphasis on the physical. And, most of the local Fetlifers are interested in kinks too extreme for my taste, and there seems to be a interest in occult and/or some sort of weird mythology, which is a big turn-off to me.
Last edited by Katey888; 06-02-2014 at 12:41 PM. Reason: Judgement on faith removed.
I haven't had much luck yet in the local kink community. Lots of folks happy to see me as a submissive man in a dress. Sadly, I'm neither.
I'll keep trying.
You can tie me up or strap me down any time you like. I'll even bring everything you'll need!
Last edited by Lynn Marie; 06-02-2014 at 11:35 AM.
Lynn Marie
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I went to a BDSM event one time with a friend and found some of the kinks interesting but not something I would do personally.
She asked I come enfemme so I did and they were accepting that part is true.
Never understood the humiliation kink at all.
Kate Simmons: People likely thought that because it is indeed common for both GG females (and MtF crossdressers) to be submissives. But you should never be forced to take a submissive role if that's not what you are interested in. I'm glad you gave it a chance, though!
Sherri: Yeah, there are plenty of creepers on FetLife and I've gotten some weird messages from them. Usually people who have a fetish for crossdressers and want hookups. I typically just ignore them. People like that tend not to interact much with the "core" community (the regular attendees of munches and parties), so I don't really have to deal with them.
The community is very diverse in terms of the age range - our group has people in their 50s and 60s, but we also have an active TNG group for the 18-35 crowd. Some of the younger people mostly interact with the other younger people, but I tend to mingle with everyone. As for obesity, it's a body-image-positive environment and for some people obesity can even work in their favor (there are numerous "BBW" and "plus-size" groups), and being obese won't make you any worse at flogging someone or tying them up in rope. We have a few obese members in our group and they are able to have a lot of fun, so it doesn't seem to be a problem.
Mechamoose: I don't really see a connection between religion and crossdressing/BDSM. People don't really talk about religion at munches/parties and like anything, it is frowned upon in the community to openly disapprove of anyone's religion (or lack of religion). The "you like what you like" attitude is the most prevalent attitude in the community.
Back on the forums! But still very much closeted.
Very interesting. Cding was introduced into my life though bdsm. Even if I had the tendencies early on it was my interest with bdsm that drew me into cross dressing.
Many years ago, (when I was not an innocent princess) I use to go to a place called the power exchange. It Usually worked out the the domes were either TS,CD or GG. with most subs being men.
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First a groom then a bride. Never again.
I have been a member of numerous BDSM communities for more or less my entire adult life. There certainly is as much diversity as one could imagine from one end of the spectrum to the other, and based on the OP's comment, yes, for the most part it is almost like gender is not really all that important for many. It is not so much how you present as whether you are a domme or switch or slave, etc.
One of the more interesting events I attended had all the submissives as ponygirls, so whether or not you had CDing tendancies or not, that night (if you were a submissive) you were a girl!
Nice to see some positive experiences. Unfortunately the limited experiences I've had both online and attending local munches were either dull (not interesting or compatible people) or creepy (those that refuse to show their faces online or creepy in real life). I haven't written off bdsm because of this but I'm not too optimistic about finding a Top local to me because of this. I've seen a few compatible online while on fetlife but they were at too great a distance. Anyway, I am considering attending distant events.
If you have a "significant other" it may be worthwhile to talk with them about being a top. Being a top (or Master as they call it in BDSM) isn't hard at all. It's finding someone you feel comfortable with that's hard. If you already have such a person, you're more than half way there.
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