Are you a hot guy??

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Okay, you all know I'm figuring things out here so don't hate on me yet, okay?? lol.

Seriously though, one major issue I have suffered with through all this is this idea (written all over the Internet, I might add) that crossdressing is the result of masculine failure and ugly guy syndrome. I personally feel insulted on behalf of my H and everyone here when I read this (often!) as I know my H is a good looking guy, he's also pretty good at being a guy, which he is most of the time. But this information does not help a girl feel secure. I've always been considered an attractive girl myself in the ways that society say are attractive (I'm cynical about external beauty as when you have it, few people want to know who you really are ) but when I think of my H's dressing I'm left feeling defective somehow, like other women would have chosen better. I know, I know...so horrible, right?!? But really, you all spend enough time in front of the mirror to understand such a comment. I know you get it.

So, forgetting how much I hate society's superficial idea of beauty, are there any hot guys here who can totally refute this nonsense that it's an ugly guy's pastime?? And for those here who assume they're ugly, is this because you think you're better looking as a woman (I'd personally like to be the judge of that) or have you truly been ousted by society? I'll just say now that this girl loves everything male, men in general are incredibly sexy (other GG's here would likely agree) so maybe you're not seeing yourselves objectively?

Anyway, another Tink thought for the week. I like to keep you all busy and you're all helping me HUGELY!! Ha, maybe I should start a weekly 'Tink's Thought-Provoking Question' section.

(GG's, please feel free to answer on behalf of your SO )

[Katey888]

So.... (rushing to confirm Hot Guy status by being first to answer.... ) weekly sounds doable, Tinks - daily Thought-Provoking would be a killer!

Have you looked through the 'Boy mode vs Girl mode' thread in the Gallery? Have you.....? What are your thoughts?

Even allowing for a slightly skewed sample (not everyone is willing or happy to post those pics together...) that thread tells me we're pretty much a normal cross-section of 'hot' ranging to 'tepid'... I don't get the feeling that many here feel 'ousted' by society as a male - in fact I think we generally have a bigger representation here from the more successful and better educated part of society (in general - not exclusively!).. So I think you may be barking up the wrong tree with that one...

Don't feel defective! I wish I could give you a big hug and send you on your way feeling normal - there's nothing wrong with you or your H!

It's other peoples' problems really.... We're like folk in wheelchairs (metaphorically) - people stare, don't know what to say... You're right to be cynical... but I agree we won't see ourselves objectively - that's why we come here... for the unrelentingly honest feedback..

Keep smiling Tinks - a lot worse can happen in life...

Katey x

[Donnagirl]

Hey Tink,

I reckon I was a good looking guy when I was 'wooing' the missus... I was ridiculous fit, 2:35 marathons, diver, swimmer, just out of the military. I had the muscles, six pack, even a little sun bleached blonde hair. I was working as a dive master at the local dive shop and diving for the navy as a reservist. But even then I dressed. (30" waist, 38 inch chest... I could fit into most everything).

Although I didn't realise it til much later, I was 'hot'. (I was useless at picking up on the signals from girls... Oh how many opportunities I missed!!!!).

Twenty years later it's a little different.....

[Wifeofdonna]

Hi,

I agree, back then he was hotties! I am very lucky got him. I was working at the dive shop and I grab him..

[Amanda M]

Me, hot? Not ugly, but hot - not really. My wife, however, would say otherwise! And,I might add, she is a good judge of most things, so I'm happy with that, Tinks!

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Ha, I still seriously love you Katie. Always with the common sense answers! And a daily Tink question would hurt my head more than yours. I would be asking what color your panties are in no time. Wait a minute....I think that's been done

And yes, I've perused the 'boy versus girl mode' photos and definitely seen some 'hot guys' in our midst. Of course, mentioning such a revelation is awkward here. How do you all feel getting told you're hot as a guy? Does this make the girl feel less attractive? So yep, I've avoided saying anything there as I figured it won't go down very well. I'll also be honest and say I think you all put more effort into your 'femme' photos than your male photos. The poor guy often just looks annoyed while the girl looks positively ecstatic. So I'm not sure how helpful that thread is. I have a feeling it's a wee bit biased toward the girl mode.

And I can always do with a hug

Hi,

I agree, back then he was hotties! I am very lucky got him. I was working at the dive shop and I grab him..

WifeofDonna, thank you! That makes two of us with hot back-then husbands!

Me, hot? Not ugly, but hot - not really. My wife, however, would say otherwise! And,I might add, she is a good judge of most things, so I'm happy with that, Tinks!

Amanda, I'm certain your wife knows best x

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have never considered myself attractive en drab. When I was younger I really thought I was ugly and disgusting looking... with age and wisdom not so much anymore, but I do feel I am really "bland" as a guy and not attractive per se... just sort of "ehh"... I have never really been told I am attractive as a man, come to think of it. The limited companionship I have had in my life was more out of sympathy than physical attraction (them to me.)

[Traceyjo]

I'm quite a good looking guy but not one to attract much female attention just due to my appearance. I'm slim, fit and have good muscle tone and I think these are good attributes to enhance my presentation as a woman. I've had so much more attention and admiration in my femme persona than I ever have had as a male and that is one of the great pleasures I have as a crossdresser. I'm much happier admiring what I see in the mirror when I'm a girl.

[Teresa]

Hi Tink,
We all look in the mirror male or female and see a few more lines, I guess a guy can call it maturity and girls call it old age !
I like many don't like the receding hair line or total hair loss and once body and leg shaving starts, possibly I'm like many prefer not to have it back. Only yesterday when I stepped out of the shower and saw how ugly my back hair looked, I thought does my wife find this attractive ?
As much as I would like to show my guy-girl pic comparison for you to decide, you would probably say nice looking guy but once you start to apply makeup and the wig the guy disappears ! Maybe you haven't gone from an ugly guy but the mirror is showing an attractive girl !
To feel that I haven't been ousted by society but strangely I want to be accepted by society in my other role ! It's just wanting to live out the other side of a Cders being. The hardest part to deal with is not wanting it full time but want the acceptance to do it as I choose ! That's when most of our problems really start !!!

[Kate Simmons]

If you would ask my GF she would no doubt say I'm hot but she may be slightly prejudiced. Appearance is okay but my focus has always been on the person. In fact, my one rule for friendship or any relationship is to always just be yourself. If you can't appreciate yourself, what am I or anyone else going to do? No way do I feel that CDing is an ugly man's pass time. Quite the contrary. The attempt is to show the inner feelings in an outward way. That having been said I would say that most of us are pretty damn good looking. It's what we make it really my friend.

[Marcelle]

Hi Tink,

Naturally if you ask me "I am a hot guy" (just kidding). Well my mom always told I was handsome but then again that is what moms are supposed to do .

In all seriousness I would say I am average and I must have something redeeming or my lovely wife would have taken a pass on me so many years ago. I don't dress because I think I am ugly as a guy although I will admit that at 5'6" in the guy world that brings me below the height average so I might have a wee bit of "little man syndrome" . I also don't dress because I think I make a prettier girl (not by a long shot). I dress because it feels right in either gender. For the record, I like both sides of me but I think I do guy much better.

So am I a hot guy well . . . you be the judge. I posted a before/after picture (with a bit of fun) at the link below. It is the one set of photos which is more like a comic book story . . . me en boy and me en femme.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-a-secret-room

Hugs

Isha

[Deedee Skyblue]

Hey, Tinkerbell... when I was single, there were a few women who found me hot. I wouldn't go out of my way to make that claim, though. Most women find my brother hot, so I know what it really means - he has it, and I really didn't. I am not a failure as a guy, though. I was a hotshot jock in high school, a great wrestler, and one of the 3 toughest guys in my senior class, and up until the recent great depression, successful in a male-dominated field. And several of the women who know I dress have expressed stunned surprise, as they think of me as being very masculine. And I was dressing before I had any idea of what success or failure as a guy meant - I was caught wearing my mom's slips (several at one time!) when I was in kindergarten.

I really don't think ALL crossdressers dress because they are failures at being male, or even not very good at being male. Can't speak for everyone, but in my case, this is not the reason.

Deedee

[Tinkerbell-GG]

So am I a hot guy well . . . you be the judge.

Um, can I say 'nice guns!' without insulting Isha?? lol. Yes, you're a hot guy with one of those swoon-worthy, winning smiles and your wife is a lucky lady And honestly, I don't think height matters much to women if they're secure in themselves, so 'little man syndrome' is really just 'insecure girl syndrome' with the buck passed to the man!

Deedee, I don't agree either with the 'failed man' theory running around the Internet and that's why I posted this thread. When my H first told me of his 'kink', I was as shocked as your girlfriends. I would never have picked him to do this and had no hint that he had issues with being a man. I've later found out that sure, there were little things in his past like an absent father etc, but after reading here I'm not even sure they matter. I think this masculine failure theory is BS!!

I think we need to let the world know that ALL types of men crossdress, including the hot ones. Weirdly, I suspect this little fact would help with general acceptance. Look at Bruce Jenner in his hey day. Wow, now that's one hot man, and Kris herself clearly didn't care how he dressed in private, he was that hot!!

Okay, now I'm just being shallow. I fear you've all been a bad influence on me!

I have never considered myself attractive en drab. When I was younger I really thought I was ugly and disgusting looking... with age and wisdom not so much anymore, but I do feel I am really "bland" as a guy and not attractive per se... just sort of "ehh"... I have never really been told I am attractive as a man, come to think of it. The limited companionship I have had in my life was more out of sympathy than physical attraction (them to me.)

Vickie, I don't think anyone is 'ehh'. I think self perception makes us think this, but we're ALL attractive to someone if we would only let them see us as we want to be seen.

[Erica Marie]

I would not consider myself hot at all. I do my best to stay in physically fit condition and expressing my female side has brought forth alot of comments that I look quite a bit younger than I really am, but as far to say hot, never was and honestly Im ok with that.

[Laura912]

Yeah, hot guy...but I take some estrogen and turn down the air conditioner and it's better. Sorry, sense of humor out of its cage again. Wife and a very close friend have said handsome. Was too much of a nerd growing up to test the "hotness" of myself. Had too much respect for women but that does not mean disrespect for men. Just more comfortable around the women.

[noeleena]

Hi,

I... never.... liked how i looked from age 10. and im coming up 67 and nothing has changed my thoughts on that, i would have not made a good looking man / male . and i dont make a good looking female / woman. stuck in the middle and no where to go. , that sums it up .

makeup not going to happen does nothing for me, yes im very... hard... on myself and with good reason im not a fool or stupid to even think i could look as a normal female / woman,
yes i can dress nicely like i say a woman can bring her clothes to life , i, just ... wear them....no more than that.

if you could meet me youd soon see why,


...noeleena...

[kimdl93]

I'm getting too old too be Hot. My wife thinks I'm reasonably attractive. I don't see it, never have. I suppose physically, I have some remnants of an attractive male physique. Time is eroding that too.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm older than dirt and more attractive now than I've ever been! It's all in the presentation and self confidence. I know who I am and I'm quite happy with me. I'm no longer filled with doubts and fears. I've known beautiful women and have learned well from them. The old adages of "confidence is a powerful aphrodisiac" and "true beauty emanates from the inside out" have proven true time and time again for both men and women! The funny thing is, the older I get the less I want to get entangled in the complications of less than perfect relationships. Oh hell, I'm probably gay. Yeah, right!

[WhisperTV]

One time my Ex and I passed a statue of Adonis in a museum. She whispered to me "Your butt is better than his." Yes, I was hot back then.

I'm not hot now. I'm 50 years old. But I consider myself to be good looking and in decent shape. I'd also say I'm a better looking man than a woman.

[ronny0]

Me "Hot Not!"

Another aspect of your thought.......
The girls always get prettier at quitting time!
Saying that with another thought, and a put down on our real life world.
To some (or many) women guys being Hot can also equate to money and cars etc....
(see http://edition.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/p...l?iref=24hours )
Also PBS had a good program on this:
One of the test was showing flash cards of guys and asking the women to rate them 1 through 10.
Then the same photos were shown but included a income figure for each guy.
The tester was able to come up with a dollar figure that would bump a guy up in the numbers to compensate for his genetic shortcomings.

With those thoughts in mind:
IMO Another attraction to presenting as female would be. Most or many guys show their attraction to women regardless of how they rate 1 - 10, they still 'look'.
While women do not generally go out of their way to show their interest / approval of a guy.

[Ressie]

Yes.. ssssmokin'!

I had a cute face when I was younger and girls would say I was cute, but I never heard them say I was handsome. There are guys with a rugged look that are probably considered hot don't you think? I'm not tall enough to be uber attractive to women, and being shy hasn't helped either.

Men don't have to be good looking to be hot IMO. Confidence seems to go a long way in attracting women. So far, I haven't seen any CDs with a face that only mom could love.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Tink, I was an above average looking guy that was and still is at 71yrs concerned with my appearance .

[KatieGG]

My husband is very good looking, he had many girlfriends when we were in high school and still when we go out I catch a women checking him out now and then. The bad part is he know it too lol. I have looked at the boy mode vs girl mode threads here and I have to say there are some very good looking guys here.

[samantha rogers]

Well, Tink, how does one answer such a question ....,that is without appearing seriously vain and self absorbed...lol...oh, wait, this is a board of crossdressers...never mind. :-)
Beauty, or good looks or in this case, "hotness" is, of course, in the eye of the beholder. So what is attractive varies according to the perspective of the viewer. Some men may be considered really "hot" because of a cute butt or a ruggedly handsome face or a real hardbody physique or just a great smile. It just depends, right?
In my case, I guess I was never a body builder but I must have had a degree of good looks since I was, when still acting, a successful leading man, and, when still interested and available, I never lacked for female company.
But, personally, as I relentlessly repeat, beauty, whether male or female, is in the heart, reflected through the eyes and given meaning through words.
The rest is just costume. :-)

[Sc0rp10N]

I've been told I should have been a model. A male model. Somewhat chiseled good looks, somewhat well built, proportionate, tall, dark and handsome, etc. I'm kinda shy about that stuff. As far as BEING a hot guy... I don't know, do hobbies like welding, renovating, building decks, building playhouses for kids, being an artist painting artwork, being a musician, photographer and art film maker count? I consider myself slightly above average, but women have told me I am too humble. I prefer to keep this attitude, it means instead expecting attention, I am surprised with it. - Oh yeah, also an avid 4x4 enthusiast and built my own rock crawler rig, including totally custom home built suspension, did all the work myself and LED most of the trail runs with my 4x4 club. I guess I will eventually get around to posting a boy vs girl pic in that thread. Maybe later.