autogynephilia questions

[Tina_Someday]

So I have been planning on transitioning by this summer and came across this term "autogynephilia". I think I found something that may describe me, and am hoping somebody can answer some questions I have. For the past several hours I have been reading about this and am still confused on some aspects of it. Like if I fit this am I really Transsexual or is this not the case if I am autogynephilia? Even after all the reading about it I am still confused what it all means.

Here is some background that may or may not make a difference. I am 30 years old and I have recently taken the COGIATA test and gotten a score of +170 once and +200 the other time which falls in to the Probable Transsexual. Now none of this may have anything to do with anything but I will mention it. I don't remember wanting to be a girl when I was real young. I rememeber wanting to play with my sister and her barbie dolls and I made her swear not to tell my father. Also when I was maybe 13 or 14 I made up some story about some bet that I had to be made up like a woman so I had my sister put the makeup on me. from my teenage years until this day I loved watching the talk show that had Transsexuals on them and want to be one. I frequent other boards were guys talk about how they would love to be with a Transsexual but I am different I want to be the Transsexual.

I guess out I left out the part on how I feel that I may fall into the autogynephilia catergory. The reading I have done is said that the person gets a sexual kick out of being a female and having female parts. Well I certainly meet that aspect of it. Now my thinking is to the other type of Transsexual do they not love the fact that they are becoming the woman they felt they should of been? Do they not start devloping breasts and are proud of them and want to look at them because they are finally getting the body they felt they should of had? I remember reading on a website of a Transsexual woman and she posted about when she got her Breast implants that she was so happy and she could not quit touching them or looking at them. Or there is a guy who use to work where I do he was in a wheelchair and eventually he was able to walk again. I am sure he was totally excited heck I was excited for him that god gave him the ability to walk again. Now I know being in a wheelchair is different but I guess you understand my point.

Now another part about autogynephilia I read was that it was hetro men who like woman. Well as I stated in another post is that I look at woman on the streets and think wow she is hot but I never do the same about men. However in order for me to climax I have to think of myself as a woman with a man. I also have been realizing that I love men! I look at men on the internet and just melt with desire to be with them. Now the weird thing is me being with a guy in the male body I am in now makes me sick at the thought as well as seeing pictures on the internet of men and other men kissing etc. This urge to be with a man has become so much stonger than ever before. I even did a stupid test I took a picture of a woman off the internet and one of a guy who I thought was hot and thought deepley who I would rather have as a sexual partner and the man won hands down!!

So does everybody think about this? I in NO WAY shape or form can afford to go to see a therapist so I am hoping somebody her can give me there thoughts on this. Thank You

[Helana]

Tina

Autogynephilia does a great job at describing the sexual component of transgenderism, but it does not however take into account the emotional component - how we feel about ourselves. Typically as we age the sexual component diminishes in importance and the emotional side become dominant.
Even transsexuals often go through a phase of sexual excitement although this is usually nowhere near as pronounced as is seen in crossdressers.

Also bear in mind that gender and sexual orientation are two different entities although there are linkages. Just as there is a diverse continuum of gender so there is a continuum of sexuality. We all have the capacity to be bisexual, but whether we do so is a combination of many factors. One of them is thinking yourself in a situation where you are with another man. The more often you have these thoughts, and these thoughts are linked with a happy outcome, the more comfortable you will become with the whole idea of bisexuality. It is common for crossdressers to go down this route starting off viewing themselves as 100% hetrosexual, then becoming bi-curious and sometimes ending up having homosexual relationships. These seem "natural" because they are in a femme state of mind and see the encounter as hetrosexual and a validation of their womenhood.

Do not think that your sexual orientation will influence your gender preference, in most cases it is the other way around.

As for whether you are TS, there are no hard and fast rules, only you can know this for yourself, preferably with the assistance of a therapist. A few good questions to ask yourself are - do you KNOW you are a woman or do you just WISH you were? Also do you in any way glorify the idea of womanhood and think the grass is greener on the other side or do you understand that life will be just as hard (if not harder) as a woman and you are just swapping one set of problems for another. If you are still idealizing about being a woman then maybe you will want to rethink if you are ready to transition.

Hope this helps.

So I have been planning on transitioning by this summer and came across this term "autogynephilia". I think I found something that may describe me, and am hoping somebody can answer some questions I have. For the past several hours I have been reading about this and am still confused on some aspects of it. Like if I fit this am I really Transsexual or is this not the case if I am autogynephilia? Even after all the reading about it I am still confused what it all means.

Here is some background that may or may not make a difference. I am 30 years old and I have recently taken the COGIATA test and gotten a score of +170 once and +200 the other time which falls in to the Probable Transsexual. Now none of this may have anything to do with anything but I will mention it. I don't remember wanting to be a girl when I was real young. I rememeber wanting to play with my sister and her barbie dolls and I made her swear not to tell my father. Also when I was maybe 13 or 14 I made up some story about some bet that I had to be made up like a woman so I had my sister put the makeup on me. from my teenage years until this day I loved watching the talk show that had Transsexuals on them and want to be one. I frequent other boards were guys talk about how they would love to be with a Transsexual but I am different I want to be the Transsexual.

I guess out I left out the part on how I feel that I may fall into the autogynephilia catergory. The reading I have done is said that the person gets a sexual kick out of being a female and having female parts. Well I certainly meet that aspect of it. Now my thinking is to the other type of Transsexual do they not love the fact that they are becoming the woman they felt they should of been? Do they not start devloping breasts and are proud of them and want to look at them because they are finally getting the body they felt they should of had? I remember reading on a website of a Transsexual woman and she posted about when she got her Breast implants that she was so happy and she could not quit touching them or looking at them. Or there is a guy who use to work where I do he was in a wheelchair and eventually he was able to walk again. I am sure he was totally excited heck I was excited for him that god gave him the ability to walk again. Now I know being in a wheelchair is different but I guess you understand my point.

Now another part about autogynephilia I read was that it was hetro men who like woman. Well as I stated in another post is that I look at woman on the streets and think wow she is hot but I never do the same about men. However in order for me to climax I have to think of myself as a woman with a man. I also have been realizing that I love men! I look at men on the internet and just melt with desire to be with them. Now the weird thing is me being with a guy in the male body I am in now makes me sick at the thought as well as seeing pictures on the internet of men and other men kissing etc. This urge to be with a man has become so much stonger than ever before. I even did a stupid test I took a picture of a woman off the internet and one of a guy who I thought was hot and thought deepley who I would rather have as a sexual partner and the man won hands down!!

So does everybody think about this? I in NO WAY shape or form can afford to go to see a therapist so I am hoping somebody her can give me there thoughts on this. Thank You

[MarinaTwelve200]

My understanding of Autogynophilia is that of a hetrosexual male who LOVES women so much, that he longs to become one of them. This is opposed to the mentality of the Transsexual who feels that he is mentally a woman---ie. a woman's brain in a male body--and all that that would entail.----TS and AG guys BOTH WANT to be real women but for different reasons.

Most TGs will be "homosexual" relative to their bodies(save for the minority of this minority who might have a different sexual orentation) Most AGs will be hetrosexual.---Indeed Hetrosexuality is often the best indicator of AG in a guy who seeks to be female. AG means "Self woman love"---A guy who loves the female side of himself.----Hence---one textbook definition that AG may be a "strongly internilized hetrosexuality".

But, I maintain that the simplest explaination is a TS is a male Body with a female brain and wants to be a woman to "set things right", body and mind . An AG is a hetro guy who wants to be a woman, bcause he is in love with the idea of being a woman---there often a strong sexual turn on factor involved too, BTW.

[Helen MC]

Reading the earlier thread about Autogynephilia with this one, I would say that this description fits me rather well when coupled to the Androgyne designation when I did the test on sexuality on another thread.

I have never had any desire to have re-assigment surgery or to use the common parlance, to have a sex-change, I am happy enough with male genitals although I must say that when I was a teenager I would have liked to have had big breasts like my sister's and am quite happy to have "Moobs" (man boobs) which are definitely there and can fit an A Cup Bra but not so large as to cause comment when I am in drab at work or when outdoors. I do however enjoy wearing female clothing when I can, panties all the time as I have done since my early teens, and other female clothing indoors. On this aspect I have never had any real desire to go outdoors en-femme nor to try to pass as a woman, so I am not in the mainstream like many TVs who post here. If however it became generally accoetable in UK Society for a man to wear a skirt, dress or other female clothing without adverse comment then I would happily do so and enjoy it.

As regards my sexuality I am Hetero and no disrespect to anyone but I find the very idea of my being involved in any physical sexual act with a man to be repulsive to me, although if that is what others do that is their life and I respect them. I have had girlfriends and have been married and have had physical sex with those women but frankly if asked to rate it I would have to say "it was all right" but it didn't really light my fire. I always took the "female" role and they the "male". I find women very attractive and arousing but perhaps in a more abstract way and the physical reality of sex with them often disappoints.

So I would describe myself since my teens as "Autoerotic", in love with myself in my female persona as "Helen" and as they say IT WORKS FOR ME, and I am happy and at peace with myself in this situation. Accordingly, I can quite happily accept the designation of "Autogynephilia" for myself.

A few weeks ago I was getting the Xmas Shooping together and arranging cooking the Xmas Dinner when I thought to myself "You would make someone a really nice wife" and that made me very happy! In a manner of speaking I am my own wife and lover.

[CaptLex]

So I would describe myself since my teens as "Autoerotic", in love with myself in my female persona as "Helen" and as they say IT WORKS FOR ME, and I am happy and at peace with myself in this situation.

Helen:

Thank you for that post. This is a subject I'm not too familiar with and your explanation helped me understand it better. Very interesting.

[Sarahgurl371]

Tina,
I know that you said you cannot afford a therapist. I would absolutley suggest that you find a way. And see someone who has knowledge and experience in these matters. Also, read as much as you can. The net is a great resource. There are many books out there as well.

I think that I can relate to autogynephillia in myself. I have taken the COGTAI (?) test as well, and others have cautioned that you shouldn't rely on this test as an absolute. Just as we are different and diverse in our gender and sexuality, there is also diversity (from what I've read) in the TS population as well. So not only do you need to decide if you're TS, but if so, what do you want to do about it. There are many ways to live and find peace with yourself. Not all involve SRS. I have read some explanations of MTF TS's not only feeling that nature messed up and put them in a male body, but that they actually cannot stand thier male genitals.

I know for me, I went thru a period not so long ago where I definatley wanted to transition. But for me, I think that involving myself so much in thinking about all this, I may have confused myself as to my true feelings, needs, and desires relating to how to live the rest of my life. I have come to realise, that for know, and as far as I know the future, I anjoy being male at times and enjoy being / feeling feminine at times. I really am not sure that I wish to be either forever. So for me, its now about finding a balance in my life where he and she can both be happy and peaceful.

i know that you prabably feel a very present feeling of time, and an urgent need to figure this out. I certainlly do. But, I would caution you to take the time to learn all you can, ask yourself the important questions, and see a therapist to help you on your journey. From what I understand, you need to be signed off by a phsyciatrist before SRS anyway.

Take care.

[MandyTS]

There is no hard fast definition of transexual and if auto... is a relation to TS is a good question. There are really two forms of TS, or One TS and one intersexed, but it is interesting to see the conversations. I am 100% TS (or actually intersexed) but I have never really hated my genetils (I did when I was little though), I just do not have a realtionship with them. Many say there is a difference between want and need in regards to transistioning and I agree. Personally I don't NEED to be a woman (or NEED to be male) but since I am a little bit of both I have to make a choice. I currently live to the outside world as male although I do not see male as a big part of it. In since I am transistioning to find the place where I can best express who I am.

Being a man or a woman is not any easier one or the other. Everyone is right when they say you are exchanging one set of problems from another. WE need to look in ourselves to find who we are... that is all.

[Marlena Dahlstrom]

COGOTAI should be taken with a huge grain of salt. It's very easy to game the test (consciously or not) to get the result you think you'd like.

As far autogynephilia, the basic idea is that it's someone who's fantasy of being a woman is so strong that it eventually makes sense for them to transition. Originally it was developed as a reaction against gatekeeping that disqualified GRS candidates who indicated they had any amount sexual fantasies of being a woman. It certainly does seem to describe some folks -- such as Matrix creator Larry/Lana Wachowski -- at least according to what's described in the article.

However, autogynephilia has been highly controversial, mainly because it's proponents have argued there are only two types of TSs (autogynephilic and non-autogynephilic) rather than accepting autogynephilia is only one of a variety of types of being TS.

I realize you can't afford to go to a therapist, but there's a good reason this is required as a prerequisite for GRS -- it's a life-changing decision with huge ramifications. (For what it's worth, I've heard a number of GRS candidates end up deciding it's not for them and the guidelines were developed after a number of post-ops regretted it to the point of suicide.) So I'd caution you against jumping to any quick conclusions. We can't tell you whether you are or are not a transsexual. That's something you have to figure out for yourself.

As others have said, sexual orientation is separate from gender identity (as well as what sex you are). From what you've described it's also possible that you're bisexual -- but aren't comfortable with it, and therefore find it more acceptable if you're a "woman." Again, that something only you can figure out for yourself.

FYI, it's well-worth reading this article written by a post-op TS. It's long and somewhat bitter and she's got some ill-informed things to say about crossdressers, but it's a good reality check about the potential things that can happen if one chooses to transition. Not that they will, but you need to ask yourself if you're willing to risk that they may. For some all the downsides are well worth it. But it's not a decision to take lightly.

[Strike]

My understanding of Autogynophilia is that of a hetrosexual male who LOVES women so much, that he longs to become one of them. This is opposed to the mentality of the Transsexual who feels that he is mentally a woman---ie. a woman's brain in a male body--and all that that would entail.----TS and AG guys BOTH WANT to be real women but for different reasons.

Most TGs will be "homosexual" relative to their bodies(save for the minority of this minority who might have a different sexual orentation) Most AGs will be hetrosexual.---Indeed Hetrosexuality is often the best indicator of AG in a guy who seeks to be female. AG means "Self woman love"---A guy who loves the female side of himself.----Hence---one textbook definition that AG may be a "strongly internilized hetrosexuality".

But, I maintain that the simplest explaination is a TS is a male Body with a female brain and wants to be a woman to "set things right", body and mind . An AG is a hetro guy who wants to be a woman, bcause he is in love with the idea of being a woman---there often a strong sexual turn on factor involved too, BTW.

I agree with that, mate. 100% thats what I would class myself as. AG