Where are you going ?

[Roxie]

The question I have is mostly for those CDers who are not completely out ,but all are welcome. I know that myself walked away from a decent relationship of 6 yrs ,although not the only reason one was the fact she could not/ would not accept me for who I am.I wasn't looking to be "out" ,but wanted to dress more around the house(Blah blah blah}.Needed for myself to find the "Roxie" in me and don't regret it .I also realize that I need to come out to at least some of my family and friend Myself have decided if I was to die suddenly,someone cleaned out my house. HaH I was "that one" in the family! I want at least family to realize I'm living how I was born, this is what life dealt me.
So my question tonight: how far will you go to be a CDer ???

Rock on, Roxie

[franlee]

All I can say is I think you made the right choice in the given circumstances. I don't think we have to dress if we set our minds not to, but it would be miserable. For me at least. Cding is something I enjoy and have made it part of my well being. So I have no intentions of giving it up except to time and ability. I've made it work for almost 45 years so I can say I'll go all the way. And I owe no one for being Me!

[Tammy Lynn Tx]

Roxie, I was fortunate to have found the lady i will spend the rest of my life with. She know all about Tammy and is supportive and probably buys more for Tammy than I do. I am mainly a closeted under-dresser but do under dress while trucking (other wise I would probably go nuts). No one in our families knows of Tammy, but I would love to be a fly on the wall if someone comes in after I pass away to see the reactions....

[hope springs]

How far would i go? As far as necessary to stay emotionally healthy. I told my wife the minute i was sure CD was a part of me. Recently i told my sister in law for a number of reasons. I needed a woman who is not my wife to discuss woman,s points of views. I will be having lunch with her this sunday and it will be our first conversation with her knowing im a CD. We are both looking forward to it.
Point is, we go as far as needed to embrace this part of ourselves. If a relationship ended over it then so be it. Life is too short to let something integral to your identity be cast aside for the sake of a relationship. Its strange, even weird.... but so was women wearing pants 50 years ago

[Adriana Moretti]

i have gone just as far as I want too...next step would be transition...which I have no intrest in......But choosing to be single, not deal with all that sappy,needy s/o bullyish ,and responsobility...is fine with me...i dont need permission for anything.........now if i could JUST get my own apt again............

[Katey888]

I go as far as my garden patio right now... But maybe further in the future...

It's a good question Roxie - about a year ago I was quite content in the level that I was prepared to go to... no wigs, no makeup... just dressing in private... but prior to coming here, I needed to push it all a bit further - and then this forum rather opened my eyes a bit.. and now look at me! Aaaaarggh!

In truth, I suspect some of the urges we feel to reveal to someone, to get out of the closet or get out in public are because of what we read here and the rose-tinted perspectives of those with accepting SOs (no offence meant - but just check out crossdresserswives.com if you really want to sample some non-rose-tinted, undiluted vitriol from SOs... )

If I step back from this virtual world of folk that understand me into the real world of family, neighbours, friends... it becomes clear to me fairly quickly that I've a lot to potentially lose, and then my sun-kissed patio feels very comfortable - even daring... Perhaps the only stretch would be an outing en femme somewhere accepting - an LGBT venue - but I'd say I'm close to my CD optimum at present...

Just... maybe... Vegas....

Katey x

[Teresa]

Roxie this is a tough one !
I looked back to when I first started at 8/9, how far then meant what could I try on next ? With my GF how far could this go sexually when sharing clothes.?
In most of my married life, how far meant how much could I hide it ?
Since joining the forum and realising and accepting what Cding is all about, how far is like asking how long is a piece of string !
As Katey says the end of the patio ? I have driven out dressed but chickened out on taking a walk but next time, who knows?
I guess to most how far is governed by who knows ? If you have no one who now matters or cares, you can go as far as you like!

[Marcelle]

Hi Roxie,

I am also fortunate to have an accepting wife who supports Isha fully (well with some caveats ). As far as how far I will go I will borrow from Adrianna "As far as I can go without transitioning". My family knows, close friends know a good many people at work know. I go out as Isha when the moment takes me and go "en boy" when the moment takes me.

Hugs

Isha

[Kate Simmons]

To answer your question: "I'd go around the corner and back again" I'd reckon. Not afraid of pushing the envelope for sure.

[kimdl93]

Not sure what was going on, but if you don't regret it, it was the right choice. I'm not sure that preventing a shock in the event of an untimely death is a good reason to come out,if you prefer to remain otherwise private. S there a reason, some benefit for you to come out while you're alive?

[Beverley Sims]

I am not prepared to let anyone in my family into my private life.
Other than my wife.

[Gerrijerry]

You pick one person who you trust. Tell him or her the truth. And give them a key to you place. If anything happens. That person can remove what you don't want found. As for getting out join a group. Make friends and get out to club meetings for the start. Groups and clubs normally have places to change there.

[Rachel292]

Roxie this is a tough one !
I looked back to when I first started at 8/9, how far then meant what could I try on next ? With my GF how far could this go sexually when sharing clothes.?
In most of my married life, how far meant how much could I hide it ?
Since joining the forum and realising and accepting what Cding is all about, how far is like asking how long is a piece of string !
As Katey says the end of the patio ? I have driven out dressed but chickened out on taking a walk but next time, who knows?
I guess to most how far is governed by who knows ? If you have no one who now matters or cares, you can go as far as you like!

I'm basically the same as Teresa. but recently I'm now attending 4 different trans. support groups. Including leaving home dressed and driving up to 60 miles to get there. Also had whole 10 hour day out dressed in a local small city with another trans. girl. Where will I stop. I really don't know.

[Christen]

No further than the backyard .. probably. The one thing I do know about this little business, is that there always seems just a little more you can do.
I clearly remember thinking, while purging in the false belief that I was done with this, that I'd done it all, there was nothing left to draw me in, but no, the siren still calls.

Christen x

[Farrah]

My wife knows and I think that's about as far as it goes, as far as people knowing. Venturing out, to me, seems like being liberated. I've only gone out once (a disaster), but that feeling!!..I'm looking forward to doing it again (the 1st time, my wife didn't know this side of me), real soon!

[Ava Tryptyk]

I will not consider dating or marrying anyone who is not supportive of my crossdressing. Entering such a relationship would be such a huge step backwards for me.

[AnneC]

I go along with some others who have said this is a very difficult question. Bottom line if it would destroy the relationship I've had with my wife I guess I would have to figure it out. Thankfully has not come to this yet. But it is a difficult thing to think about.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Roxie, If I go first my wife can have a big FIRE SALE.

[MissTee]

I am out to the wife. I have no desire to go any further. Don't need anything else.

[sometimes_miss]

Having lived through it, going through a split up because of the crossdressing was extremely painful (and costly) to say the least. If my partner wasn't on board with my CD behavior, I'd always wonder when she'd simply change her mind (like my wife did) and then everything in my life would come crashing down on my head again. I don't want to be out, and knowing that gives any female partner terrific power in the relationship. I'm not sure exactly how I'd deal with someone who was tolerant; still, instead of no one at all, I might go for it and hope for the best. About the other things that made you want to split up? Well, we all have those. There aren't a whole lot of couples who agree on everything, mostly because men and women are simply different by nature (not to mention, GG's have to deal with their hormone cycles changing the way they think throughout every month).