What would the right circumstances be? Seduced, drunk, drugged, forced? Some of us are curious but still not up to doing it. And I think saying "bisexual" in this sense is a euphemism. You're talking about sex with a man unless your only fantasy is a threesome with a man and a woman.I think I could possibly be bi-sexual in the right circumstances. What do others think?
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
alot of cd's become bi curious at some point, most arent though...I happen to be bi...but it has nothing to do with the clothes I am wearing, I have been with guys dressed,and in drab...and females too...i guess it depends on which way the wind is blowing...but thats me. For the other 99% its a curiousity or a fantasy and dosent go much further than that, i would even go as far to say its probably normal for gals to be curious.
I had my first crossdressing experience and first bisexual experience during the same few month period, when I was 12. They both became part of my life and they have both been totally separate, one not related to the other. Over time both progressed...now gay sexually and I'm at least entertaining the possibity that I might be trans, but they are still distinct and separate parts of me.
Yes, I would guess that is true. I think that wearing the clothes and assuming the role opens the doors to consider some other possibilities. We've always heard that under hypnosis we wouldn't do anything that we would not do consciously. The part of our brain that is the right-wrong engine is still active. I think that is how it is for crossdressers. Someone might see what a bisexual encounter might be like, but whether or not they include that as a part of who they are likely goes back to having a predisposition. If there is a predisposition, then you would likely have gotten to the same place eventually without crossdressing. Without the predisposition, an experiment wouldn't do much for you and life would return to how it was previously. The only difference being that you would have a specific data point.Originally Posted by Adriana Moretti
I don't know, I still don't understand it. I tried being with a guy. Went all the way. Became mechanical, almost no desire there. After, I just didn't want to do it any more. Found out I wasn't gay. But then, when dressed, I could perform sexually "as a woman". So, I can't do it as a man, but I can as a woman? What does that mean? Idk. And yet, 2-3 times in my life, while in drab, a very good-looking man has locked eyes with me and I felt attracted to him. And yet, I never look at guys, not even good-looking ones. It just seemed to happen those 2-3 times. I still don't understand it. Maybe I'm about 1% bi. Or there is a "female sexuality" inside me as well as crossdressing. It's so confusing. Nevertheless, I love the GG ladies. Always.
While I don't think that sexuality and clothing choices are all that connected, I think that my cding has made me more aware of my bi-curiosity, if that makes any sense. Like when I'm in boy mode, its more analytic looking at attractive men and thinking things like "I get it" where as when I'm en femme the thoughts are more emotional and more like "Ooh, he's cute."
I think I'd be open to being with a guy but the circumstances would have to be pretty close to ideal in that I could get more into "the female role" and the guy would have to be respectful of me also. Basically, the conditions would have to be perfect and it's more than likely that it will stay in the realm of fantasy but life can be unpredictable so I haven't ruled it out
some fascinating answers to my thread and all very enlightening, thank you
i think that most of us are bi-Curious it is just that we just don't come across the right times to act on them.
I think that wondering what it's like to feel like a woman from different aspects is a natural thing to be curious. I don't find men attractive but the thought of something like that happening can be exciting.
You like what/who you like. A cool person is a cool person. If they like YOU, regardless you how you or they present, then they LIKE you.
We like "traditional" girl things.. ok. We have the 'wrong' junk' to go with that. Ok. Our interest in who we find attractive is a separate thing.
I appreciate a nicely formed person, male or female. I like an *interesting* person, regardless of how they identify.
I feel like a girl inside, right along side of my big male/beast self. We are both in here. I do the cooking, I'm the one with the fashion sense, I do the decorating, I'm the "Mom" to my kids. I express mostly female traits, while being a big, furry dude who enjoys wearing skirts more than pants.
By strict definition, I'm a bi/pan guy who is trans. I fix the drain, I change the tire, I do the curtains, I fret over matching clothes.
What are we? What are you? How do you define that?
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
As someone before me said, I think you - and everone else - very well may be, but that is something that is worth finding out, isn't it?
I used to speculate about this a lot and then decided to try it out with someone who had been writing to me online for 2+ years. It went rather well. We met, I tried out my girly persona on him and he loved it. That was very interesting because it raised and solved another question: I did, as the parlance goes, go all the way on him, as if it was his birthday. I so much wanted to try it out. It left him very excited, me rather bored.
So am I bi? Well I didn't enjoy in any sexual way, what i was doing. So probably not.
Some weeks later I started to think of it as rather a cool thing to be able to do. "Cool" in the sense, that somehow it does fulfill my CD fantasies to the full, thought it didn't really excite me in the least when doing it.
So, no harm in trying.
The only thing that stays with me to worry about it, is that I think, that I might be a person who does not have a problem with doing it for another guy. And that is certainly what happened. But what the heck.
Leaves me - as before - free to do what I like. And that probably isn't doing guys.
Lilli
Last edited by Lilli; 07-03-2014 at 10:23 AM.
I think a lot, dare I say many, of us here have had fantasies of being with a man or even another CD when dressed. I think, for the most part, it is only that, a fantasy. I, also, think most don't, or wouldn't, take it past the realm of fantasy. Only you will be able to determine whether you have genuine bi-sexual tendencies or if your dressing is the only impetus for these feelings you experience from time to time.
I've had these thoughts and feelings. I have never acted on them. As a matter of fact, in my youth, I had a couple male friends my age make "passes" at me. I was uncomfortable with each and our friendships ended. I've learned to never say never in life. I doubt that I would ever act on any of my fantasies, but, like I said, I won't say never. It would have to be some type of extraordinary circumstances, I believe, if it were ever to happen. If I had to give a probability of it happening, I would have to say it would be less than 1%.
Last edited by Desirae; 07-03-2014 at 10:57 AM. Reason: Added More
The more posts I read here, the more I am convinced that most simply want the female 'experience' of being the passive partner during sex, again, not something that most straight women let us do, as they simply don't want the responsibility for the sexual act nor for our pleasure or their own, it's pretty much always going to be 'all on us' (perhaps one subconscious reason for crossdressing, the escape from that responsibility). And being the one with the penis, means that we can never really get away from the 'responsibility' for keeping an erection, no matter what is going on.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Sure, why not! But be careful with your definitions, or you'll end up cubby holing yourself as 'pansexual' and no one wants to be that!
When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.
I wonder if the entire bi when dressed phenomenon is just an extension of being turned on by dressing. An extension of a fetish.
Amanda, i struggled with the question of being bi. My fantasies while en femme defaulted to being with a guy. I knew i wasnt physically attracted to men, so why the persistent fantasy.?
Here is what i concluded. Women are drawn to men's masculine energy (define that however you wish). Its not the physical attraction but the concept of being taken, letting go and accepting what i call a submission of trust. Yu submit to being penetrated not from the idea of being the weaker sex but that you trust his "handling" of you will be mutually fullfilling. You default to letting him lead.
So for me the issue of bi fantasies is about allowing my femme side to to accept his dominance. Its my psyche giving permission to relequish control. Not about actual attraction. A similar non-male version of this concept could be a dominatrix. A trusting bond and then letting go of control to her will.
Edit: just saw Sometimes miss' post. I think her idea and mine are saying the same thing from a different angle.
Last edited by hope springs; 07-03-2014 at 12:13 PM.
I would suggest that there is a large segment of "het" guys who enjoy the idea of a hungry, aggressive woman. I don't think it is about submission or passivity. I think it is more about 'roles' in the wider sense...
I have known many lesbian women who were plenty aggressive towards their 'target', and not having male bits didn't slow them down in the slightest.
- MM
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
If you think of yourself as a woman when dressed, thinking about a man doesn't seem odd. Do most feel they are a woman when dressed?
I remember a gay English comedian once saying that the difference between a heterosexual man and a bi-sexual man is about five pints of beer.
Probably just wishful thinking on the gay comedian's part.
I admit that changing your presentation gender, even temporarily, has the potential for raising some interesting sexual issues, but sexual preference and perceived gender are still completely separate issues.
Part of the problem that some people have with this is the myth that everyone is obsessed with sex, and that we spend our lives drifting from one sexual encounter to the next. Some people are like this, but they're relatively rare. When I'm dressed, sex is the furthest thing from my mind. I wouldn't even say I'm asexual. It's just that I have a lot of other more important things to worry about.
The idea of anything going in my anus repulses me. In any fantasies where I am with a man I have female equipment.
I'm in agreement w/ Adriana here. I often smile at those who declaim that there is no connection between CDing and sexuality. That may be true for many, or even most, but it's not true for me. My dressing was the impetus for my exploration of bisexuality, for which I'm very glad.
Enjoying this discussion!
Traci
YIM -- tracigirl111
While gender identity and sexual preference are different things, I think it's a little bit of a stretch to imagine that they're completely unrelated. A year ago, I would never have believed I could be attracted to men. Now, however, after doing a lot of exploration of my gender identity, I'm a little surprised to find I am attracted to men. I do fantasize about being the female partner in sex, though I would never act on the fantasy as long as I'm in a committed relationship. For that matter, I'd never cheat on my wife with another woman, either.
I kind of went the other way (oo, er!)
I was getting the feeling more and more that I was bisexual and the focus of the adult material I was looking at sometimes strayed into submissive roles that included sissies and maids. From that point I started to explore the CD side of my apparent love for man-parts and there was my path to wanting to dress up. For me they are intrinsically linked.
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