I don't think there is one really. Being submissive is a personal choice the way I see it.
I don't think there is one really. Being submissive is a personal choice the way I see it.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
I suspect an accurate survey would show pretty much the same proportion of submissive personalities as in the general population... I doubt that any funky gender miswiring that we experience would impact sexual submissiveness... The reason you see so many ads for submissive 'sissys' is simply because that is a fetish sub-sect... I don't think the crossdressing motivation is necessarily the same and motivation is key...
I don't think I've ever known a really submissive woman... but then I've always been attracted to strong personalities...
Katey x
"Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear" Stefani Germanotta
I think there's something to the escape the pressure of being the alpha male in society with cross dressing. However, I feel woman are far more powerful then men, so by assuming their persona is to exhibit the natural power they possess. Call it what you may, it's all good.
Dominate CDs seem to be rare so what does that tell you? I'm quite passive and need to make an effort to be assertive in dealing with people in general. I think there's a connection for some of us but maybe it's just two qualities that coincide.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Submissive in Sex , yes , absolutely , but not in other areas of my Life , quite the opposite infact
Theres No Point In Living , If You Can't Feel Alive
I echo many others' sentiments on this. Outside of the bedroom, I am assertive, because I have to be for my job and my family. This has nothing to do with being man or woman, it's just a trait necessary to navigate life in my world.
As for the bedroom, I prefer to be submissive with my wife and I fantasize about us having swapped genders. For a successful relationship though, there needs to be a balance. Again, nothing to do with being male or female. My wife actually prefers to be dominant, but sometimes wants me to take control.
There is no direct correlation that has been proven between crossdressing and submissiveness in men. I believe it is more about having a balance of sensitivity and refusal to fall within the alpha male dominant stereotypes.
I'd say I'm a fairly submissive type in general, I always have been, but that has more to do with being shy and easily intimidated than anything else. in terms of a relationship though I prefer it being more even, I can't stand being with someone who's bossy and controlling, nor someone who never wants to take the lead on anything and never says what they actually want.
If I were the female in the relationship - I think I would be a bit on the submissive side - with more traditional male - female roles. I would take care of the home and work as needed - while my man took the lead - I guess it was the way I was brought up.
I would LIKE my cross dressing to be a submissive version of me, but if that were the case, it would never serve its intended purpose. I only do it in relation to sex and my wife can't or won't be dominant with me. We've discussed it multiple times. She's tried to do it, maybe made a few statements here and there on those special nights, but the reality is, if I don't drive our sex, no one does. It's not that she doesn't want it, it's just that she just won't go get it.
In my case..I've considered it to be separate but for me there's a bit of blurring the lines.
I will say I am a bit of a sexual ah..freak. Most things/kinks involved with sex play interest me..only a few things don't.
I'm a big open sex ed advocate also on my twitter and FB feeds.
But I really don't do partnered play however (been solo for 30+years).
But I guess Submissive has been my nature - never figured that I could really be a good Dom...
I've seen the stuff on Sissification, Femdom, and such though and while I like the topic, stories, and art, I ran into a logic issue if applied to me.
Namely...
Sissification means forcing a sub to be a sissy...usually it's the act of making him do it when it's against his nature. The bigger tough macho guy getting forced to be feminine. With some other parts (forced to go out dressed) it's also a bit of a humiliation effect for his ego. But For -that- guy it's a great release...turning off his nature to express the other side.
But we do this already with our expression. Or we just extend our already known feminine side with CDing.
For me, sure I could continue my Subbing under the Dom, and put on the maid outfit... Or other women's clothing and be paraded outdoors... But it's already what I do on my own. I can't say there'd be much humiliation involved... (Unless the dom made me wear things 'badly' so I couldn't look good at it
So while it's neat, the clothing/dressing side doesn't really impact subbing play too well. At least with my logical thought.
Plus, we get to tie it into the 'why do we crossdress' thing.
Some do it to self-experience the other side by nature (Dysphoria), others due to maybe external influences (work,military), others just as kink, and so forth. All affecting what would be thought of success for a good D/S scheme.
From the Doms perspective: I remember listening to a podcast by Ruby Ryder (and hope this isn't too bad to state about in the forum here) of one that teaches and does pegging. The statement (paraphrasing) was that it was the 'contrast' that excites more.. The fact that the burly, athletic, macho man is made to feel vulnerable, it's the contrast that creates the excitement and what she herself likes.
Because of that, I'm unsure a lot of us could provide that contrast.
I've only been crossdressing for about five years. I've leaned towards submissive for quite a lot longer than that. I don't know how much correlation equals causation, but it's something I've thought about. I definitely don't think I'd like crossdressing without my submissive side. On the other hand, just because I've got panties on doesn't mean I won't be in the mood to take control.
In the end I think they're separate personality traits but that it can be easy for one to lead to the other. Society says that a man in a dress is weaker than a man in pants. So it sort of makes sense that if a guy enjoys submission he can enhance that feeling with crossdressing. Likewise if he enjoys crossdressing the mere act of it might make him feel weaker and more submissive.
The maid thing isn't my specific fetish personally, but I totally understand it. Not only is it a desire to be submissive but for some it is also a desire to somehow please a woman, to bring a desire to dress and a desire to feel submissive and combine it in some way to please and make enjoyable the experience for a woman as well (in the way some like to combine dressing and sex with their wives, 2 things they enjoy together.) I am submissive and have a desire to please... sadly outside of fantasy that is not what the vast majority of GGs want in a man, just the way it is.
Without having read the other comments I will only add this: I have dressed as a woman for over 20 years and I promise you that I am in no real way submissive. in fact, I am stubborn and willful and opinionated. I am not some monster - I am polite and know my manners - but I'm not rolling over for anybody. I've worked really hard to be where i am today and I don't care to give in to anybody else without plenty of good reason.
REBEL WITHOUT A CLOSET!
All trans* girls are NOT created equal. https://www.flickr.com/photos/emi_again/
Tina has no submissive tendencies at all. It's just never been a part of her thinking. She is accepting of having a door opened for her, or being offered to go ahead of a male waiting for her, but that's just the politeness of being a woman in our culture.
I submit to your hypothesis…Originally Posted by adrienner99
Hi Adrienne. I think what you are seeing is a statistical artefact with some other aspects thrown in. We (MtF CDers) are a cross section of males in society . . . we just happen to prefer to dress like women along a continuum. It is very likely that percentage wise those who engage in submissive play are also going to be represented in our population and this will be mixed with dressing en femme (maid, secretary, housewife, etc.). So IMO it is no so much a link between cross dressing and submission but part of the human condition which makes us (people) a very interesting group.
Hugs
Isha
Long after I revealed to my wife that I CD, we tried a Mistress/slave relationship. What a big bomb that was! It was a disappointment to me, but I fully appreciated where she stood on it. A couple of years ago I asked if she would be more comfortable if I took on a submissive 'Servant' role. She is very comfortable as my 'Madame'. To anyone, I appear a very attentive husband. But at home I take delight in anticipating, and fulfilling her needs and wants. She isn't abusive of the arrangement and we are both quite tickled it's working out well. Good luck!
There is a strong connection between the two for me. I've been a long-time lurker on this site, but early on realized I was a bit different than what I would view as the slight majority of CD'ers here, so only occasionally come back to read posts and catch up. I'm definitely NOT straight, but also not gay. I'm not sure bisexual is even accurate as I have no romantic or physical attraction to men (although I can appreciate a nice body - I just don't whiplash or drool like with a gorgeous woman), only sexual attraction to men, and frankly kind of as objects to me. As for women, I am very attracted to them physically, emotionally, and sexually. When I am with a man I am almost always a submissive bottom, with women I am a switch and really enjoy variety with or without any domination, and on the occasions when I have been with a TS, I usually prefer to bottom. I sometimes feel like my sexual attraction to men is an extension of expressing my feminine side as there is nothing more emasculating to me than submitting to another man. I would think there is a somewhat higher correlation of submissiveness in crossdressers, but that is purely speculative, and obviously from the replies here, it doesn't seem like the majority of CD'ers on here correlate the two.
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