Are photos of very passable crossdressers a good thing?

[Sarah Doepner]

There are collections of photos that feature very passable crossdressers that can easily be found on the Internet. Most start in our community and some eventually find their way to the wider world through Facebook and other avenues. When they are well done, there can be admiration for those in the photos for the quality of their transformation, but you rarely, if ever, find any discussion of the reasons behind it. I usually end up being jealous and wishing I was shorter, younger and more feminine appearing. Most of us don't pass that well and if a collection of our photos was sent out I'd venture a guess that CDs would commend them on their bravery. From the rest of the viewers the first comments would be those questioning why in the world we would do that. Or from many people, they wouldn't ask and would just begin explaining it, right or wrong, from within their world views.

So I end up of being two minds over those very public photo collections of the passable crossdressers. On one hand I admire them and see that they expose crossdressing in a positive fashion to a wider world. On the other hand it makes me feel less acceptable outside my closed community since it focuses only on the physicality of the transformation and raises that bar well above my head. So like so many other things in our world it's something that sends a mixed message to many differenct communities. I don't know which side of the argument I'd come down on if I had to. What do you think?

[Danielle/Mo]

I enjoy looking at the photos even though I have to admit that they do depress me. I also wish that I were shorter, younger and had a different frame including smaller hands and feet. Oh well---At least they motivate me give me something to work towards. Even though I know I will never be able to achieve what I see in the pictures. I work on improving what is in my control.

[Barbara Dugan]

I think is a good thing but not to compare ourselves Usually photos don't show the whole picture you can cheat a bit with angles and photoshop. The important thing is that when you see yourself on a mirror you are satisfied with yourself

[Nadine Spirit]

Keep in mind that many of the people presented as cross dressers are not. Some are actually gg's and other are obviously transitioning. Or have transitioned, possibly very early in life.

Other than that, also keep in mind that a photo is a mere moment in time. Personally I often take about 100 different shots and maybe I will like 1 or 2. Don't compare yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself. I see others that I am quite jealous of, but when I see where I start and where I can go, then I am happy.

[Wildaboutheels]

I think it's downright "silly" to make "passability" judgements based on photos posted ANYWHERE on the internet.

First of all, how do you know they are not actually female?

Secondly, many here at this Forum admit to "liberal use" of Photoshop. I can assure you it's not simply confined to this site/Forum. MOST females on MOST mag covers are highly likely to be airbrushed.

Thirdly, no matter the quality and or size of the pic, two dimensional images on [likely for many???] a smartphone or tablet have little to do with a flesh and blood person up close enough to interact.

I think the best "attitude" for viewing pics of "CDers" is to consider all pics artwork.

UNTIL and UNLESS you meet them in the flesh.

[tifftg]

Sarah,

I am like you, very much of two minds. I sometimes admire and inspired by those very successful and passable CD's. I remember there is a wide continuum in our community of time, income and transitioning. Other times I get depressed that I know the limits of my look and I can accomplish. At the end of the day, I dress for me both for personal fulfillment and expression of who I am. I stay within my comfort zone and don't get hung up on a passability test.

[Zylia]

Some excellent points have been made already. Pictures on the internet are not reality for multiple reasons. They only show one angle under certain conditions from a single moment in time. Additionally, quite a few galleries of 'very passable' cross-dressers contain at least a few of the following: very young cross-dressers, 'cross-dressers' that went through HRT and/or FFS, cross-dressers with training in Photoshop and cross-dressers that are actually women. Case in point: we had a thread about a 'pretty CD' Tumblr feed a few months ago that contained pictures of a famous Hollywood actress (a 'GG' in case you're wondering).

Anyway, more to your point, I rather count my blessings than feel bad about other people being 'better' than me at something.

[NicoleScott]

Too Passable? That reminds me of the lawyer who argued that his client was too pretty to go to prison, or the boy who killed some people while drunk driving but was too spolied by his too rich parents that he didn't know right from wrong.

...I admire them and see that they expose crossdressing in a positive fashion to a wider world.

But the more passable a CDer is, the less likely to be identified as a CDer but rather seen as a GG. I don't see how this helps less passable CDers gain acceptance for venturing out into the public.

More passability is surely a goal for many crossdressers, but it's not the only goal, and not a goal at all for some.

[PaulaQ]

What you all need to understand about yourselves is that you are all beautiful, and the standards that would say you aren't so are just cruel and wrong.

[AllieSF]

Now you get an idea how a lot of GG's may feel when all the fashion magazines, movies and other types of media always show off only the best of the best. You worry too much!

[windycissy]

After reading this thread I googled "passable crossdressers" and I must say, there are some pretty amazing pix out there...personally I'm not thrown by the fact that I'm not "the fairest one of all" but I do take comfort in the fact that nobody posts her out-takes!

[Sarah Doepner]

Overall I tend to be comfortable and accepting of how I look. I also understand the nature of how fluid images can be from when they are initially recorded to their final version that is shared. I guess the real point of my post was how those collections of images move the public discussion of crossdressing away from understanding and accepting those of us who are not mirror images of cis-gendered fashion models to how much like women those in the photos appear. That ends up making one more stereotype for average crossdressers to deal with, along with the "not gay", "not transistioning", "not a serial killer", "not around for comic relief", etc. My frustration here is less about my ability to pass and more about the message it sends or reinforces in the general public.

[irene9999]

I enjoy looking at pictures of those girls but realize we're all different and not all of us can look 100% passable. Also, most of those girls have a lot of help from clothes/body shapers/makeup/photos either taken at the perfect angle or photoshopped, etc, so a lot of times that is not what they'd look like in real life.

[AnneC]

I also dress for myself and keep hoping I look better and make improvements each time I do it. I know I've made progress over time. Even if I don't ever become totally passable, I can always be happy that some can do that. Anyway, I'd like to keep trying!

[Desirae]

Now you get an idea how a lot of GG's may feel when all the fashion magazines, movies and other types of media always show off only the best of the best. You worry too much!

I totally agree with this.

Still, I've seen photos such as you're speaking about. I'm of two minds on it, also. The younger, slim, good looking guys always make the best looking girls. Oh, to be young again and know what we know now, huh? If you're a good looking guy you have a better chance of being and attractive CD. That is if your looks aren't good looking based on ruggedness in appearance. You need that softer type of good looking. You've seen a few in Hollywood who fit the bill. Yes, it is a little depressing at times: I wish I looked like that. I think that's human nature to feel that way.

You know, if all of us could just get the point where we're not trying to look like a GG, but rather a CD, and be good with that, things would be much better. After all, that's what we are. We're not genetic women. We're crossdressers, transsexuals, etc. It is what it is. I think if there is ever going to be some type of mass acceptance, then we're going to have to own up to who we are and not pretend to be something we're not, which are ciswomen. We're going to have to own the label for better or worse. There are good looking ciswomen and there are not so good looking ciswomen. It only stands to reason that that some CD presentations will be better than others. Now, how to get to that point where we're OK just being a CD?

[KaylaRoxx]

seeing pictures of truely passable crossdressers really just makes me jealous more than anything, even though I have been told that i'm passable myself, and there have been a few times people have seen pictures of me dressed up and not been able to tell it was me. Hell, one of my best friends saw a pic of me dressed up with me sitting right there and he couldn't tell it was me... No matter what, i still don't think i'm passable, and i'm sure that's a problem a lot of crossdressers have, even if they can pass as a girl. No matter what people tell us, or who can or can't tell it's actually us, we just don't have the confidence to think we look like we could pass ourselves. It's harsh, but true. at least for me anyway.

[Jodi]

I haven't posted pix in quite a while. When I would post, I would get PM's from people telling me how passable I am, and that I could go anywhere. I wish to emphatically state that I am NOT passable and never will be. I strive to be presentable when out and about. A pic on the internet is a small percentage of what shows for being presentable. One must take into account body language, poise, how one walks and stands, facial expression, gestures, voice, and confidence. I don't go to tranny bars when out. I go to straight venues, and have never had a problem in 15 years. I just go out and enjoy myself.

Also, I never compare myself to others either as a male or female. That can only give anyone problems.

Jodi

[Kate Simmons]

Once we post stuff on the Net, including pics, it is out of our hands Sarah. If I posted a pic, I really didn't care what was said about it or done with it.The only ones I ever heard about being posted in a different country was Karren's without her permission but I believe she was kind of flattered by it more than anything else. She can correct me if I'm wrong. Anyway, I'd probably react the same way.

[RenneB]

I've gotten to the point where I have said this is as good as it gets and dress to blend as best as possible then out the door I go. A pic is just a moment in time. I, like others, take a few hundred shots and then pick one or two to post. I don't post to fish for comments, I post to show others that getting out and about isn't that hard.

I remember back when I was stuck in the closet and envied those that posted outdoor pics of themselves. It encouraged me to try harder and get better at this. I still have a was to go on this journey, but I've passed the front door and don't look back... too much.

Renne......

[Tinkerbell-GG]

I think if there is ever going to be some type of mass acceptance, then we're going to have to own up to who we are and not pretend to be something we're not, which are ciswomen. We're going to have to own the label for better or worse.

This is really insightful and I completely agree. If you're not TS, to the general public, passing yourself as a GG can be seen as deceitful. Owning who you are, that you're a CD and not a woman is, in my mind, far more admirable

[GeminaRenee]

It seems like a truly "passable" CD wouldn't raise any kind of awareness amongst the general population because the act of passing would, theoretically, render him or her undetectable.

I can't say that I begrudge any CD's that I consider prettier than myself. For one thing, you never know what went into the production of a photo. The Flying Spaghetti Monster knows that I certainly give mine a little lick of love or two before showing them to anyone. And the ones that I feel don't flatter me head straight to the recycle bin. So I know that my own photographic representation is certainly cultivated by hand.

Besides, comparison is a pretty pointless endeavor. I've got what I've got, and there's no sense in beating any part of me up against a wall for not having what someone else was given. All I can do is my best, take a little of what I can see that I can control from others, and be happy that some are blessed to do so well.

[AllieSF]

I don't see any reason not to strive to look like a natural woman. I do not do all that I do to look like a guy in a dress or whatever. I also do not see a problem of comparing ourselves to others, especially the better looking ones. Sometimes we can notice something that can actually help us improve our own looks and presentations. However, I see no reason to do that to a point where one starts feeling bad about themselves, frustrated with their own transformation abilities, or anything else that is upsetting. The vast majority of women have learned to do that, not let someone else's beauty upset them, and we should be able to do the same.

[PretzelGirl]

I think that for many of us, we should try our best and then accept our limitations. Even the natal ladies may have some limitations. Look your best and feel your best and you will project it IMO. For instance, I know I am totally beautiful, but in contrast to Sarah's reference, I just can't get a picture to agree.

[Sometimes Steffi]

There's this limerick that I read a long time ago which I remember because it's particularly relevent.

As a beauty I'm not a great star
There are others more handsome by far
But my face I don't mind it
Because I'm behind it
It the people in front whom I jar

So, while I could get all jealous about it, I can say that I'm 100% hormone free. I'm plenty old enough that there's no shame in looking my age. When I post a picture, it may be the best of 5 or 10 or 50. I suspect others may Photoshop, but just removing enough pixels to get down to the size required for posting is almost enough to make anyone look good.

In short, it encourages me to improve my look, but I have no problem dealing with it.

[Beverley Sims]

I think 97 percent of them should be banned because they look better than I ever did.

Over the years the art of presentation has improved out of sight.

Guys look better than girls a lot of the time.

If a girl spent as much time making herself up as some of these guys I am sure the girl would win hands down most of the time.