You're not going out dressed like that, young man.

[ReluctantDebutant]

I am still fascinated by the art of transformation. I often like to sometimes watch M2F makeover videos on Youtube. But there were a few the other night that disturbed me. These videos were of young male teenagers 13 to 14 who made themselves over to look and dress like young women in their 20's. They wore high heel pumps and skin tight mini-dresses and a makeup style usually sported by young (of age) ladies going out to the club. I am for parents who let their children explore their own gender expression, but this is a recipe for trouble. A girl of the same age going out dressed like that would be considered at risk from older men and even slightly older boys. Is it somehow now ok because they are transgendered boys? Just because you, the parent, don't think its right to tell them they can't wear dresses doesn't mean you can't tell them which dresses they can wear. I don't know but I think I've seen this episode of Law & Order SVU.

[MatildaJ.]

If you tell a teen girl not to go out dressed like that, she just puts the sexy dress in her backpack and changes at her friend's house. I imagine that transgender boys are pretty much the same.

If I found out my child had an interest in going out dressed very sexy (whatever their gender or gender issues), I would sit down and talk with them about how other people see them and the risks they are taking. I would talk about sexually transmitted diseases, about rape, and about violence. I'd talk about how damaged men prey on vulnerable young people and sometimes murder them, especially if they think the sexy outfits indicate a broken home and that that no one will bring strong pressure on the authorities to prosecute the attacker.

I would also ask the teenager to brainstorm about ways to get a similar thrill in a safer way. A couple of dads or older brothers could go along to the club, and hang back to give the teens their freedom to dance and have fun, while being there in case anyone starts giving them trouble, for instance. Or they could throw a party for their friends, and get dressed up as sexy as they like, for each other. Or make videos, and put them on youtube but without any identifying information to lead someone back to them.

The key is to build trust with the teenagers, so that you even find out that they have these desires.

[darla_g]

i really like what JessM said here ^^

[mikiSJ]

I am also with Jess on this.

But remember, when you are twelve you want to be twenty, when you are forty you want to be twenty, when you are sixty+, you don't give a damn anymore. I get a bit embarrassed when my knees show below my skirt.

[ReluctantDebutant]

JessM.

I believe that is the least a parent should do. And it is what I would do if I were in that situation (knock on wood). But I just don't believe it is being done. Plus when was the last time a teenager listen to a well reasoned argument? I just think that age is too young to start to styling their life off of Kim Kardashian and her ilk regardless of gender or sexual orientation. But then at that age for me I wanted to dress like Kelly Bundy and I turned out ok. But then again I wasn't allowed to nurture that side at that young and formative age. I just can't help but think that I would not have turned out so well if I was allowed to style my life on the "Kelly Bundy" types during those early teen years.

[MatildaJ.]

My teenager will listen to me if I listen to her first. She won't necessary follow my wishes, but she will hear me out.

[Beverley Sims]

I see the point that you are trying to make, but I think a lot of boys who dress like that are trying to just attain the look.