Content in the closet?

[Nikki_Taylor]

A comment I posted on another thread got me to wondering. How many girls on here are in the closet and completely happy being there.
I know there are all types of different girls on here at all different stages, in all sorts of different situations, some who live out to everyone, some who are happy living with their little secret.
For me I love my life and the role Nikki plays in it and the fact she is our little secret. I love that I have that side of me and feel kind of sorry for males who don't. Do I fantasize about being a girl full-time of course. Would I want to. No. I've had the opportunity for Nikki to play a larger role but It wasn't something we wanted. I'll never come out to my wife, I love her but she would not understand or ever want to meet Nikki, nor would I want her too, It wouldn't be fair to her. We could debate that neither is hiding Nikki from her but her knowing would destroy her, my family, my marriage, my life.

[Gardener]

Nikki, I understand the complexities, as I think we all will. Different solutions to fit different circumstances. Good luck

[Crissy Kay]

Yes, I am still happy in there, with no plans on changing anything any time soon!!

[Amanda_P]

I lived to long in the little closet I have. l Just recently I have been venturing out more and more. It is the best feeling I've ever had. And a lot of girls on here are right. Nobody really cares or says anything so far. This is going to be my first full weekend out in Seattle and can't wait to see how that goes.

[sometimes_miss]

While I'll not say I'm happy with the situation, for me there is no acceptable alternative. I grew up being treated like a leper when I was a kid; I know how people treat others who are different, and it's not a good thing, there are all kinds of things going on behind our backs that adversely affect our lives even if we have no knowledge of it all happening, we just live with less opportunities, and more problems because of it. I have absolutely no wish to go through that for the rest of my life. After having my face fixed, I learned what it was like to be 'normal' like the rest of society, and it was a huge difference. So in the closet I will stay.

[Hell on Heels]

Hell-o Nikki, I share in your feelings, The "my little secret" is, and has been, my path for a long time now.
However, I wouldn't say I'm "completely" happy. I feel I am outgrowing my closet.
Who the hell puts a window in a closet? Mine has one! I can see the outside world, and want to live in it.
Then the relationship I've come to know with my SO comes along, and it's holding the closet door shut.
There are moments when I'm willing to give it all up to allow myself the freedom to be me. But the fear of losing everything that has become my life, and starting over is just too much, it is so much easier to keep myself satisfied, and just continue to look out that window. (for now)
Much Love,
Kristyn

[missVS]

I am happy being in the closet so to speak. never ventured out and my style anyway of mostly lingerie, evening 5 inch sandals and gowns doesn't really work in the outside world except for nightlife. I do have a couple dresses and of course do think about venturing out. I would if the situation was right. I am single but have 2 children that live full time with me so that is always first priority.

[Megan Nicole]

I'm with ya Nikki. Same situation here. Wife, three kids, family, job, etc. MANY things would change if the secret got out & it would not be for the better. I know, I feel sad for me too, but it just has to be that way. I too fantasize about being a girl, and that desire has become stronger over the past couple years. It doesn't seem to be backing down either! I have to be extra careful now days about my CD life as my wardrobe and underdressing has increased big-time. I feel ya!

Megan

[Robyn2006]

Thanks for the thread, Nikki. Seems so many of us feel the need to get out there, share it all, but not me. Took a long time to accept my femme self, but now that I have I'm quite content within my closet/home. Not at all interested in going out or bringing others into my glam life. It's something I enjoy enormously and so need to feel complete. And I'm happy with that. Like you, I fantasize about living full time as a woman. But unlike you, I'd make that change in a heartbeat were my life different. I know that might sound sad, but it's not. I love the life I have and my career almost defines me, gives me great satisfaction. My desire to be a woman is a private matter which I have no interest in sharing other than online.

[Katey888]

Good question and supporting points, Nikki... (always get bonus points for a well-structured OP here.. )

I'd support all of those points - the only slight variable for me is the conditional 'completely happy being there'...

I think I'd like to try 'out' - but that would have to be in a way completely anonymous and segregated from my real life... then if it didn't work out, I could just slink back into the closet with the cocktail bar and flat-screen telly...

I think Gardener's observation of 'horses for courses' (to paraphrase) is correct - there are no rights or wrongs in what we do, just choices and consequences... be comfortable with yours...

Katey x

[Petra_Briar]

I agree Katey, I would like to try it out in an anonymous and segrgated way...I have choosen to stay in the closet and am very content with that decision but I would be happy if I could explore a little more.

[Julie Denier]

Despite my recent night out dressed, far from home in a safe environment, I still consider myself to be closeted. It's where I need to stay for the foreseeable future, and I enjoy myself a lot during my sporadic private dress-up time

[emilie.claire]

Both my femininity and my sexuality are in the closet right now. I'm married, so sexuality doesn't really matter at the moment. As far as dressing, I wish I had more freedom. But I don't necessarily want to wear dresses and heels everyday. It is hot and sunny today in Maryland, I would have loved to lay out in the sun in short-shorts or a bikini!

At a different point in my life I would probably dress more freely. My wife hates me dressing fem, so I keep it secret. I'm not happy about it. It feels constricting.

[JerseyGirlDonna]

Nikki, you took the words out of my mouth. I'll never be happily "content" with my situation. It's something I choose to live with. I have to be content making the best of it and taking full advantage of every opportunity to get out dressed. It's far better than the alternative of never getting out.

[Christen]

I agree with you Nikki. My wife knows I crossdress, but we rarely discuss it. She's never seen me dressed and I don't intend to show her, I'm certain she has absolutely no desire to see her husband dressed as a woman. Somethings are better out of sight, for me crossdressing is one of them. Yes, I hate the keeping secrets but in my case our lives are better for it not worse.
And, Oh, I'd love to get out, but if it never happens in my life I've not lost anything.

Christen x

[Laura Collette]

I haven't been out except to a few Tri-Ess meetings a number of years ago. It was very difficult for my wife although she gave me the freedom. Now I underdress every day and have been pushing the envelope wearing a bra under a T-shirt that really doesn't hide it very well. I also carry a purse. I just "straighten up" when visiting my mother-in-law.
I'm glad I can express my femininity to this extent and although I wish I could go out as Laura, I don't expect to. I have absolute faith in my wife and my marriage but I don't want to hurt her. That's part of what love is to me.

[Pink Susan]

I'm never happy about "being in the closet "

Women go out dressed like Men , but I can't go out dressed like a Woman (though I do on occasion )

Women can wear any colour or fabric they like , but I'm not supposed to wear my favourite Pink fluffy Cardigan , or sheer tan Pantyhose,or silk pink panties?

Who wrote these rules ?

If anybody thinks about it seriously , you can only come to the conclusion , there is no logic , no good reason for it , its beyond reasoning .

The argument that Women aren't actually pretending to be Men , just wearing clothes their comfortable with , doesn't wash either , that argument applies equally to me too.
I only try to pass as a Woman , because Men aren't supposed to dress the way I prefer to dress .

[ashley_addams76]

Fine with where I am. I don't want to rock the boat. The occasional dressing of Ashley is all I want or need.

[Steph_CD_62]

I am content on being in the closet most of the time, however it would be nice not to worry about what I would like to wear out in public.

[Rachael Leigh]

Pink Susan I agree with you hon, there is a big part of me that just enjoys the look and feel of the clothes in male mode or not. I really don't like calling myself a girl that much either but understand it. So while Im in the closet just wish it wasn't so restrictive

[Suzanne F]

I appreciate the opinion that it is better to stay in the closet. I understand what I have risked by coming out to my wife, family and friends. If it had been about the clothes more and less about feeling right for the first time ever I would have chosen that path. However, for me it is an overwhelming need to finally say this is who I am. I was so tired of carrying my secret.
It is a huge step to come out and it does have consequences. Unfortunately it does hurt some of the people that you love. But in many cases it gives people the opportunity to grow. I have been so overjoyed when my kids saw the real me and loved me. My wife has stretched and shown an amazing ability to love. I would have missed all of the amazing support from my friends if I hadn't risked it all by coming out to them.

I in no way want to judge not coming out. I just want to say that for me it has been worth the risk so far!
Suzanne

[Jorja]

I go about setting chocolate eclair trails in an attempt to coax one of these girls out of the stuffy closet. Muahahaha

It is perfectly alright that you do not want to come out of the closet. I am sure we all understand that. I just want to know, isn't it crowed in there with all of those skeletons?

[wanda66]

I truly enjoy cding as we all do. It's my stress release and it stays in the closet , being able to discuss it here is great

[rhondasmith42]

I have to agree...No one needs to know right now. It would not be good news for those around me.

[Samantha Clark]

Not out of the closet, except to the extent that my wife knows I wear panties and hose. I'm content with where I am for now, don't know where I'd like to be in the future. I'd like to dress more outerwear at home but not confident. My mental image of my inner girl is a cute female. Unfortunately I don't have the infrastructure to pull that off, and the reality of confronting the mirror dressed is a disappointment!