Just a Fetish?

[Charlotte Williams]

I have recently tried to explore the ins and outs of why I dress and after reading threads about dressing for sexual desires I wonder where I stand.

I get rather turned on when I dress and seeing others dressed can be a turn on as well. When I see a gorgeous outfit, I want to get all done up. This typically ends in a sexual release of some sort and so I debate with myself on whether I am a fetishist or there is something else.

I started dressing when I was very young and so it is hard for me to believe it was a fetish at that point, but as I hit puberty I feel as though I started to correlate dressing with sexual release.

Additionally, I think sometimes my gender lines get rather blurred and if I was thinking like a GG, I would assume that they could also be turned on by the thought of being in a beautiful dress. I might be mistaken, or I might just be a horned up animal that has associated sexual fulfillment and cross dressing.

Thoughts..? Anyone have similar feelings or any GG's care to shed some light on whether the site of certain outfits would be a turn on for them?

[Desirae]

Your entire account is all pretty typical for MOST of us on here. I can't speak to whether a GG gets turned on by wearing, or by the thought of wearing, a beautiful dress or other clothing. But, the rest, yeah. At some point in adolescence, most of us made the "connection" in our brains between dressing and sexual arousal and release. For some it fades over time, for others it never does. For some they experience GD, often progressively more intense, and they end up having to transition in order to survive. Only time will tell where on the TG spectrum you are. There are fetishistic crossdressers, also. In my opinion, I guess if you dress only for sexual release, and then remove the clothing immediately, you are a fetishistic crossdresser. I'm sure there will be some in this forum who disagree. I've heard others say that "it is the feel of the fabric of the clothes" that is the attraction. I think if that were the case, simply "rubbing" yourself with the clothing would produce the intended result. I think, most often, it takes actual wearing of the clothing. But, hey, that's what I think.

[Jess84]

I pretty much agree with this. Theres a lot of different clasifications to things to be perfectly labeled

[Wildaboutheels]

You started young like probably half the men on the planet just out of curiosity.

I seriously doubt it was your gramma's dresses or her panties?

And then you discovered Os and that CERTAIN women's clothing items were helpful TOOLS to help you get to Oville.

Like most members here.

AND all those other sites.

Your brain quickly learned to CONNECT the clothing with the Os - likely THE most addictive thing on the planet - since MALE Os are what keep Humanity going. [Female O's have very little if anything to do with fertilization of the eggs but the man MUST release the hounds.

And an addiction is born.

And GGs [very few anyway] are NOT turned on by clothing, neither their own or especially a man's as that would go against their own most basic programming.

Which is WHY there is no lingerie for men. Women's VISION simply cannot work the same as a man's. It's definitely NOT in a woman's best interests.

Nothing complicated or mysterious about it. Numbers everywhere at this site along with the P&V gallery support this.

The boobs thread, the legs thread and the how straight of a guy are you thread combined are now at 1000 responses, give or take a bit.

[Desirae]

In reference to the OP question about GGs being turned on by clothing.............I just remembered that one of my ex gfs told me once that women don't get all gussied up for guys. They get gussied up for OTHER women. Actually, I have heard that once or twice from some other women, also. I assume its some kind of a "stick it in your face", "outdo each other", "I look hotter than you" kind of thing." Maybe they do get a little turned on by clothing or seeing each other all "hot" looking?

[Tinkerbell-GG]

Maybe they do get a little turned on by clothing or seeing each other all "hot" looking?

Nope. Wild is right - this is just a crossdressing myth. Women don't get turned on by the clothes they wear (unless they're a fetishist themselves, which is rare) We enjoy dressing up and feeling good about ourselves, but there's no thrill or physical feelings involved. I'm hoping some of the other GGs will corroborate this as they've done here before, but I'm yet to know a woman who literally gets off on a dress and heels.

I'm also not sure that we dress to impress each other? I have zero attraction to women no matter how hot they are, and sure don't try and one up other women. Again, I think this is another myth.

[Zylia]

What you describe is pretty much a textbook example of what you can call a transvestic fetishist, including the childhood experiences. That's not to say it's 'just a fetish' or that you're not a 'real cross-dresser' or whatever, it's a pretty intricate condition with quite a few outcomes. Whatever causes it (and it's probably a bit more complicated than Wildaboutheels' often repeated conditioning hypothesis), this is what a lot of cross-dressing individuals experience at least at one point in their lives despite what this forum tells you.

[Sarah Doepner]

Fetish may be part of it, but it's not the whole explanation. At least for me it's not. Sure I find it very stimulating sexually at times, but not all the time. There is a large percentage of the time I dress that is appealing to some other aspect of my world. I can't tell you exactly what part or parts of my world it's resonating with, but I sure feel normal and not excited at all sometimes and that's just fine with me. I have to believe there is something else going on inside my head that has nothing to do with sex and much more to do with self acceptance and self understanding.

[Lorileah]

(unless they're a fetishist themselves, which is rare)

not as rare as you believe, the fetish community is huge and has many women and many women who dress for some sort of sexual pleasure. I see more females who wear some sort of outfit in the fet community then men.

[charlenesomeone]

Same here but Im finding I like to stay dressed afterward.

[Paulacder]

A fetish with me? absolutely. Started with me as a young child wearing shoes that I borrowed from the girl next door. From that time to my senior years I have built from that single thrill to totally dressing and going out in public. It has consumed my life totally. Watching GG's, not for who they are but for how they are dressed.

[nikinylons]

I see all correct answers. My first experience was mom's pantyhose when I was young. I was always fascinated with them and to this day they are the garment that holds my fem side together. My wife also has had a lifelong love for pantyhose too and she is looking tight and sexy in her 50's thanks to wearing them most days of her life. Pantyhose won't let gravity win. Growing up around small town, well dressed, classy women, I was taught to respect them at all costs and did. Putting on pantyhose, then a few other things that I saw mom get dressed in everyday to go to work just made me respect them more. Yes, there have always been sexual undertones in my CDing. I discovered them during puberty, dated girls who wore them, and even allowed me to wear them when I became sexually active. If there wasn't what would be the point right? Whether I am by myself, or with my wife, who supports me 100% and has quite a pantyhose fetish herself, I fell the rush of excitement, anticipation, joy, comfort, I can be natural fem as I am already, pushing our boundaries, for the ultimate fem experience. My mission was clear, grow Niki's side with the help of my wife and two beautiful daughters, hang out, be girls, talk make up, clothes, do our nails, etc and fulfill every fem desire I ever had. Over the years and the evolution of Nikinylons, the sexuality desires have dissipated a bit, because every fantasy that I could have ever imagined having has come true, however, the satisfaction is there everytime I slip them on or watch my wife slip them on. I admit I'm one of the lucky ones, but it's because I was up front with my wife on our second date and don't change into a self absorbed flamer when I'm dressed. Respect who you are and realize the shock factor to those around you when you transform, regardless what you are wearing- and always enjoy it together

[Katey888]

Time will tell, Charlotte...

While the majority of us may discover a connection between dressing and sexual gratification during puberty, it doesn't explain why many of us start at a much younger age...

I'd agree that the solo satisfaction will be a powerful driver for many males absent an SO... but it still doesn't explain why we go to such lengths to dress when surely there are simpler, easier - and bluntly - quicker ways to fulfilment...

For me, that points to something in our makeup (no pun intended.. ) - something that has muddled our gender self-image that triggers a need to CD... the sexual side is a happy coincidence and by product of that desire - and as sexual drive diminishes, the CD aspect remains and perhaps even amplifies... All that varies between us is the degree of the gender dysphoria (and probably some environmental inputs) as to how far we feel we have to go to be content...

That's why I say: Time will tell...

Katey x

[Amanda L.]

The increased drive to dress and experiment with styles and makeup started to freak me out. My practical brain said "STOP this is nuts, what the f%^& are you doing?" but then the CD brain coerced the practical side to "give it a go, what's the harm?". So began the intensive internet search to find out what was going on in my head. I found this site many times but avoided involvement (state of denial towards CD I guess).
I came across many articles that helped explain the theory. I have concluded:-
- I am not gay
- I am not Transgender/sexual
- I do not want to be a full time woman
- I enjoy dressing and behaving feminine when dressed
From what I can deduce this seems to fit in with the Transvestite Fetish model.
Whatever the 'label' on this behaviour is I am at the point where I can accept my Cd desire and can get on and have some fun with it. I am glad I joined this Forum and have found a place that provides a refuge and some great insights from the many intelligent and more experienced contributors.
Live for the moment.
Amanda

[Aprilrain]

Don't worry be happy!

If it is a fetish enjoy, if it's more, trust me!, time will tell and you'll be wishing it were just a fetish

[Confucius]

There is a wide spectrum in the cross-dressing community. No, it is not a fetish, to quote sex researcher Ray Blanchard, " Fetishes are traditionally classified under three headings: items of clothing (e.g., shoes, panties), particular materials (e.g., rubber, spandex, silk, fur), and non-genital parts of the body (e.g., feet). The last type is sometimes called partialism." Blanchard then coins the term autogynephiliagoes to describe an orientation where the man is in love with himself as a female. It is a controversial orientation. The best explanation I know for the cross-dressing condition is the theory that cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia. It is a neurological condition.

Stage 1 - The Biology
In your early years of life your brain is undergoing synaptogenesis. This is a critical period of making neural connections. Your brain is forming 700-1000 neural connections per second!!! By the time you are three years old you have many, many more neural connections than at any other point of your life. Then, largely through the learning process, your brain cuts the nonsense connections and reinforces the learned connections in a process called neural pruning. Sometimes connections are maintained that don't seem logical. Synesthesia involves crossing senses. Synesthesia is a neurological condition where activity in one sensory pathway causes an automatic and involuntary response in a second sensory pathway.

Stage 2 - The Psychology
This also involves some of the biology. It concerns the reinforcement of neural connections intrinsic to synesthesia. The person identifies feminine articles (clothing, jewelry, shoes, make-up) with the contact with a female. Any number of associations can be made and it accounts for some of the spectrum within cross-dressing. In most cases it is simply a sensitive young boy wants contact with his mother. He often over-values feminine virtues and sees females as being more favored by society, girls have it better in life than boys, or he may have poor male role models. In some cases the young boy is made to believe that he has to be stoic, tough, competitive, and live up to impossible expectations from his parents. He is told that "boys don't cry", "boys can't hit girls", "don't let the bully push you around", and then they beat on each other to establish dominance... However, girls are seen as being valued simply for their appearances. In any event, the young boy believes that girls get a free pass in life, and have much less stress, and enjoy pretty things and enjoy gentle play.

Stage 3 - The Trigger
At this point their brain has neural connections already in place. They perceive girls as being socially privileged. All they need is a trigger, and for most this means they experiment with cross-dressing. They will usually vividly remember their "first time", like an explosion going off in their brain. They often report this first experience as being highly exciting, stimulating, addicting, and causing their body to be shaking all over. What is happening is that their brain is interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female. Their brain immediately releases a host of neurotransmitters (dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin) which produce the sensations of well-being, comfort, pleasure, sexual gratification and bonding. Many report the sensation as a "rush". It affects the reward centers of his brain, instant gratification, and thus it mimics the addiction response. No, you can't make your brain stop releasing neurotransmitters. However by doing the same thing over and over it does cause the brain to fatigue and release less dopamine, and the cross-dresser will feel a need to vary the experience to keep his dopamine levels high.

About the brain interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female: The cross-dresser will experience this automatic and involuntary secondary sensory experience and will need to understand it as either internalized, or externalized. If he internalizes the "contact with a female" sensation it will mean that he thinks that somehow the female is inside of himself. If he externalizes the "contact with a female" sensation it will mean that he sees himself as just a "man in a dress", and cross-dressing is just a compulsive mystery. This internal/external concept is largely responsible for the spectrum found in the cross-dressing community.

Testosterone? Yes, testosterone is important. It is associated with our sex drive. So when we reach puberty and the testosterone levels rise quickly, then the "contact with a female" sensation will be very sexually stimulating. Usually cross-dressers report that before puberty their cross-dressing was fun and freeing, but not sexually stimulating. Also later in life when their testosterone levels wane then cross-dressing is not so much sexual, as it is comforting, and reduces stress.

Another biological concept that should be noted is childhood amnesia. Researchers report that when we get around 7-9 years old we lose almost all our memories of our first three years. For the cross-dresser this means that any female envy he may have experienced in early childhood may be corrected and forgotten before he reaches adolescence. However his neural connections are still there, and all he needs is the trigger. His cross-dressing may be a complete mystery to him. In the end all he knows is that cross-dressing makes him happy.

That in a nutshell, is the "cross-dressing is a form of synesthesia" theory. I hope this helps.

[Beverley Sims]

Charlotte,
Seems like early stages of dressing for you.

You are experiencing normal feelings

[Adriana Moretti]

yea i agree...it was a fetish early for me too...in fact all i wore was fetish gear....it changes ....for me after i then went through the goth phase...but then you grow and mature outta that....now im in an edgy stylish phase..which i am sure will grow out of...next up will be the desperate houswives phase..then the rachel ray phase..followed by the diane keaton phase....

[Amanda L.]

Adriana your wit cracks me up.
Cheers
Amanda

[Jaylyn]

Almost hate to say this on a site like this but the day that I don't get some type of arousal from inside or outward showing is the day I may purge and be totally thru with the dressing. My brain can see a beautiful sexy girl and I want to dress. I can see some sexy deep red lipstick ad on TV and I'm ready to dress. I can see some sexy red high heels or a garter and I'm ready to dress. I think mine is for sexual and just because I enjoy sometimes wearing the under garments that are soft on my skin. No doubt I have a brain that has crossed the sexual fulfillment with the dressing. I don't think it is a fetish because my with can dress sexy for me and I can feel the sexual desires starting. Maybe my sexual attitude and arousals are living vicariously thru her dressing. Don't have a clue why but know it is hotter and more full filling when dressed .

[Alice_2014_B]

For me it was really high heels during adolescence.
I've never had the big O whilst fully dressed.
I really just enjoy being fully dressed, from wig to shoes (does not even have to be heels).
I think part of it, at least for me, is pretending to be someone else.
Most of us played "pretend" as children, like cops and robbers or something.
Or just like the other night when my wife did my makeup with the new wig, I really enjoy that too.

[Teresa]

Charlotte the whole thing kicked in early for me, I had a GF from an early age I think because of her and my early development I became attracted to a shapely swimsuit possibly because it suggested her body, I was about 8-9 at the time, I knew very little about sex and was embarrassed by erections but within a short while of wearing the swimsuit the inevitable happened, it scared me because I didn't know what had happened ! The way it happened locked the connection of girls-clothes-sex in my brain, that feeling has never gone away.
This is why I know I'm not gay or want to transition ! I just have a deep need to share the feelings with women !
What label you choose to put on it doesn't alter the way I feel !!

[Stevie]

Nobody is wrong. It's a fetish for me too. I tried to stop many times only to want to dress more. My wife does know and does not approve. We work on compromises. It's been up and down. I can be just as happy with leather and heels. Learnt it is not how they feel it's how you feel.

[sometimes_miss]

I just remembered that one of my ex gfs told me once that women don't get all gussied up for guys. They get gussied up for OTHER women. Actually, I have heard that once or twice from some other women, also.

In the sense that each woman want's to out do each other as far as who's more in touch with fashion, or how good they can get themselves to look, perhaps. But in the end, it's all about attracting men, because there's really no other reason to wear clothes that emphasize the female figure so sexually, breast/cleavage emphasizing bras and tops, make up to appear as if her skin is the same quality as a girl in her teens, eye make up to make the eyes appear larger than they are, pretty much all form fitting female clothing is used to make a woman appear closer to the ideal female figure (legs longer than reality, hip/waist ratio 70%, heels to change leg silhouette and butt shape), the list goes on and on. Any straight woman who tells you otherwise is only fooling herself. The only women who dress that way for other women, are gay women. I know a lot of women disagree with me on this, but I have yet to get a good answer why.