Whatever happened to the big organizations?

[Emi_]

Whatever happened to the big trans* organizations?

I remember when Tri-Ess was a big deal. The first cross-dressers I ever saw - besides the one in the mirror - were a group from Tri-Ess who appeared on the Phil Donahue show (anyone remember him?).

Then there was the International Foundation for Gender Education. Their books were important reading for me, teaching me everything from fashion and makeup to adopting feminine mannerisms.

I also remember Renaissance and they had a pretty active chapter in Philly where I recently lived but they seem to only have a very few chapters and only one outside of PA.

For all of the growth in numbers and awareness about cross-dressing and the transgender spectrum in general, there seems to actually be fewer resources for us in the real world anymore.

[ME2.0]

I wish there were more support style organizations. Most are just creepy sex sites that may cater to the transvestite fetishist, but not to the crossdresser. I would love to meet with other crossdressers with no expectation of sex, but just to talk and share experiences with. Just to be with someone like me.

Staci

[mikiSJ]

I first subscribed to Virginia Prince's little magazine in 1973. Almost everything else at the time was a magazine for finding something (Transvestia, I think) or the Sear's catalog.

The internet has opened up a lot more opportunities for fractionalizing the larger groups (whatever they are) into smaller and smaller groups. I belong to three forums, and each one has its own flavor, bias. I sometimes have to think twice where I am because I tend to talk (sometimes yell) about all sorts of subjects that either get edited or deleted.

There is a local meeting place in San Jose that caters to a larger spectrum of girls, yet I have found my spot with those who consider themselves to be transgender and over 45. I am glad we can narrow our interests, but at what price are we excluding the younger girls who only CD or are Trans*.

[Beverley Sims]

Thare are a lot more splinter groups that are more localised these days.

[Emi_]

If there are groups, they are pretty darned near impossible to find. I don't mind small "splinter" groups, but where are they? I've been looking and looking and I've only found one group anywhere around me and it was mostly a TS group. I was the only CD there.

[Adriana Moretti]

dont blame them....blame you.. ( not you personally) but blame us....in the closet...out...gone for 2 months...back with an excuse on why you disappeared...girls are flakey....but last i checked tri-ess is still around...yes they drop like flies...but thats cause so do we...this forum is a perfect example...amazing some of the most active members registered in june 2014......lets see who is here in october 2014...myself included..and there is 2 good ones in pa...one in erie...and t-girls united is strong...hit me up if you want info on that....

[KaceyR]

I'd always wondered myself on some of these bigger groups.
(and hope I'm not breaking board rules about passing this info or sexuality mentions).

Although I guess still around in other areas, I believe some Tri-Ess chapters folded due to..sexuality and gender limitations.
When I first CD'ed last Oct/Nov I investigated them and had the link bookmarked for the local chapter. In Jan when I got out and about I looked them up again...no chapter listed anymore. So I investigated..
The thing was (from what I gather and am summarizing here) they ran into issues at one (unsure if it was MI chapter or elsewhere) where a CDer and longtime member discovered she was actually transgendered and transitioned. Tri-Ess dropped support and membership of her like a hot potato. Thought if I remember right she may have been a chapter officer too. That caused a rift to not allow this person to continue to help and support others in the org...which split that membership up.
Then the other thing... Dropping or not allowing other members due to sexuality.
The organization's 'hetero' requirement is the thing. (Only hetero, no BI or 'other' sexualities).
From what I saw last (Jan) that requirement is still there. And so still puts membership off (it, to me, should be about the support and CDing, not what sexuality you embrace). But I guess they consider themselves to just be social instead of support.. And like scouting they feel like they can choose to run this way (sexuality-limiting).
I guess in some parts, some chapters have allowed others. But the main office and others continues the original 'goal'. They basically try to keep it a group for hetero CDers and their wives..that's the original goal.
Seems chapter numbers continue to shrink on the list, and I never pursued them any further. In their eyes, I wouldn't qualify anyway..soo.. (I consider myself BI or Pansexual).

[AllieSF]

Never attended or knew about the "big organizations" when I started 7 yeas ago. I joined here and then heard of Tri-Ess. From what I understand they lost the interest of a lot of girls because,from they became too exclusive and restrictive for married and straight CD's only. The other thing, I believe, is that believe it or not, we are really advancing and do not need the large groups. Even the smaller local groups, and there are quite a few, seem to start off with an amazing burst of speed and enthusiasm and then, maybe because they have more than accomplished their initial goal of helping their members to become more independent and get out there more in the real world, they seem to start to slowly become less important to some of their members and do not have a lot of new members to replace those who become regular no shows at their periodic and regular events. Progress has its costs.

[Eryn]

1. The Internet happened. It made discussing our issues easier and has in many cases replaced FTF meetings for some of us.

2. Tolerance happened. It is much less dangerous for us to go out in the mainstream so special gatherings aren't as needed these days.

3. Intolerance happened. The management of some CD organizations, such as Triess, decided to remain intolerant of gay CDers. This caused the dissolution of some chapters, including the flagship Alpha chapter. It also caused the ousting of others, such as the Chi chapter, from the parent organization.

[Lynn Marie]

I'm pretty active in the Seattle and Everett Washington TG communities. Our group in Everett has been meeting continually every Friday evening for well over 4 years. We've had as few as 3 of us and as many as 20 classy ladies out for the evening. Only a very small core of us can be considered to dependable most every week. It just seems to be the nature of the sport.

We've had folks hang out with us for months and even years and then just disappear. We have girls who only appear a couple times a year. My efforts to extend a welcome to forum members has been pretty much an exercise in getting ignored! If you had big organizations to be a part of, would you actually join in as a contributing member?

[DQ Tanya]

I am astonished to hear that KaceyR - that just blows my mind. I can't even rant about it as I'm speachless

[Sarah Doepner]

Another thing that has happened is the growth of Pride centers in many cities that offer services for the T community. Since those centers started out as Gay Pride orginazations they don't have the restrictions or expectations that a crossdresser has to be straight. This may have usurped the steam that TriEss had going in many places when they were the only option. In Utah we have a TriEss group and have been meeting for several years at the Pride Center and working with them as we attempt to do our own outreach. It works out well for members be heterosexual and is based on members ability to provide support for the wives and family. We have the experience with crossdressing but if the person is bi or gay, we can direct them to the more appropriate services within the Pride Center. I'm aware of my limitations and would be out of my depth if I started trying to discuss a sexuality I don't really own. But talk to me about shoes, then I'm ready.
Regardless of the number of on-line support opportunities, I've found that nothing beats the chance to sit down and talk with someone who has experienced some of the same feelings, reactions and emotions as I have. So it is sad that there aren't more opportunities for crossdressers to gather and visit. You may want to check with the a nearby Pride center or organization to see if they have groups or links that you could use to build one of your own.

[Emi_]

I found one statement particularly interesting. Eryn said:

Tolerance happened. It is much less dangerous for us to go out in the mainstream so special gatherings aren't as needed these days.

I get this. I get around without the need for special groups myself. However, this leaves us no common space besides forums like this where the fantasy and drama posts and the limits of social media itself keep us from having balanced and meaningful discussions or enjoy just being in the company of like-minded people.

Sure, no one has anything against plumbers, gamers, or florists, yet every one of these groups have meetings where they gather with those who share their callings and interests just to enjoy being with others who are like them. Church people attend church every week as much to just be with other believers as to hear a message or do a ritual. We have no such outlets except for nightclubs that are mostly about sexuality and offer no meaningful contact or online spaces that offer us virtual comfort while we sit in our dark and lonely spaces pretending we're part of a "community." The real value of meeting is support groups and social groups was always the opportunity to get dolled up and get out and just enjoy being who you are with other people enjoying who they are and interacting on a human level and not just trying to be heard over the virtual noise of a million opinions in a subject thread.

I'm no Luddite and I certainly don't reject the value of technology and how we use it. i do believe, however, that the cross-dressing community is losing it's way with the advent of online communications. We share more but reveal less. We are more aware of each other and hidden under more layers than ever.

PS: I don't care for Pride centers and the like. While they are friendly and open spaces, they are also far more about the gay and lesbian community and transsexuals than they are about cross-dressers. The focus is different and you are left, again, intermingled with people without regard for your particular wants or needs. it's like saying that all the plumbers and gamers and florists don't need their own gatherings because there is a group for people in general they can all go to. i have no beef with anyone being gay, mind you - before the pitchforks come out.

[Julogden]

1. The Internet happened. It made discussing our issues easier and has in many cases replaced FTF meetings for some of us.

2. Tolerance happened. It is much less dangerous for us to go out in the mainstream so special gatherings aren't as needed these days.

3. Intolerance happened. The management of some CD organizations, such as Triess, decided to remain intolerant of gay CDers. This caused the dissolution of some chapters, including the flagship Alpha chapter. It also caused the ousting of others, such as the Chi chapter, from the parent organization.

I heartily agree. It's a totally different world than it was back in the 1970's when I first went in search of support and kindred spirits.

And to clarify a bit: the Chi chapter of Tri Ess was much more open than the national club back when I was active. It's sad they were kicked out for being open and tolerant, but it makes me proud of them.

Carol

[Eryn]

And to clarify a bit: the Chi chapter of Tri Ess was much more open than the national club back when I was active. It's sad they were kicked out for being open and tolerant, but it makes me proud of them.

They don't seem to be worse off for their ouster!

[kimdl93]

Interesting. I was surprised to learn how small Houston's Tri ess group was....the average get together has no more than a dozen participants. That in a city that a prominent and actively supportive gender therapist refers to as TG central! I have considered joining the group, and may still....but I had a mental image of a diverse group of some hundreds or at least dozens...and the reality was a bit of a let down.

And to the rather exclusive rather than inclusive nature, Tri ess seems to be deliberately excluding TS or anyone trending towards the TS end of the spectrum...perhaps to reinforce their image as men who are men who like to dress occasionally as women. I find this ironic because when you read their website, it pays tribute to a former leader of the group who lived the last third or so of her life as a woman.

Also there is a an active TG support group here as well as private TG groups so perhaps there are just more options available to us these days.

[janetcgtv]

Tri-ess is a society that stays dedicated to heterosexual cd's. because they don't want to drive the supporting wives out.
at the chi chapter. 50% were on hormones anyways before being dropped by national.(i don't think that national knew about the hormones)
also due to the internet and it is long longer dangerous to go out dressed. In the 50's a cd was murdered walking on Chicago Ave near State St in Chicago. Her murder was not even investigated at that time.

[janetcgtv]

Emi:
Naomi was the one of cd's on Phil Donahue show. She was president of the Chi Chapter of tri-ess and was the organizer who created Be-All