Time to think about others feelings too

[Erica Marie]

Sorry its not me to rant but a few things I read last night really got me thinking.

[Several exemplar sarcastic comments removed by Moderator]

WOW, I know that we are here for many different reasons, and I know the forum is called "CROSSDRESSERS".com, but really?
Some of us dress for fun and the biggest struggle you face is what color lipstick to buy next, but for some of us we struggle every day and lipstick is the farthest thing from our minds. I know there are a lot of very compassionate and helpful people so I hope the thoughts of just a few don't get us down.

Sorry,

[Zylia]

To me it sounds like that user got a run in their stockings this morning and decided to take it out on us. It's funny how some people already start to complain about reoccurring threads after a month. It's not like someone is forcing you to reply in every thread.

[CrossJess]

I guess the user is a bit fed up, still no reason be like that though.

[Specific user quote removed by Moderator]

Actually not it's not, like me and most other users what we talk about isn't fantasy why would you want to waste time talking about something that wasn't real, if you want fantasy then head over to facebook.

[Christen]

Count me in, Erica, Zylia and probably the majority of members.
No need for sarcasm or nastiness here, if you don't like a post, find one you do. If you have an opinion, comment, express it in a way that's not hurtful.

Christen x

[Marcelle]

Hi Erica Marie . . . I agree with your sentiment. People come here for a variety of reasons for some it may be just a place to hang out and have fun and for others it is because they are confused, scared or at their wits end looking for support and kindness. We should all be cognizant of that aspect before responding in a negative way. As a smarmy rude "one liner" based on assumptions can have deleterious consequences which we will never see. I saw a thread about "where do they go" in reference to people who show up and then disappear. It is plausible that some come here for support get some rude one liner in response to their "call for help" and then get scared off. Sure they might just leave and go on with life but we will never truly know will we? There is some comfort in not having to know what a "rude comment" does to a person because you don't know them. I find that way of thinking very tragic and speaks to the selfishness of a person who cannot put themselves in another person's shoes . . . "You have to have tough skin when you ask me a question because I'll tell you like it is" attitude. As I have said before to those people who think that way "NEWS FLASH!" You can still tell it like it is but it can be done with tact and kindness not rude and jerky. Some might have a tough skin and can take it on the chin but not everybody can . . . it would be wise for all of us to remember that when committing to written barbs.

So I agree 100 percent Erica . . . Perhaps before these "one liner hard nose gals" post they should run the litmus test of . . . "Hmm does this add anything to the OP or is it just a jerky opinion I want to throw out to feel self-righteous"

Now don't get me wrong, I am a big fan of humour in helping others through tough times and many here add humorous one liners which are campy, fun and meant to diffuse tense situations which is perfectly fine. To be fair I also do find that some comments which may sound "rude" can be that person's mode of humour unfortunately it just does not come off as such. Some people will post something and think . . .that is campy and witty and I'll add a "winky face" to make it even more fun. However when the forum writ large reads it that little "winky face" screams self-righteousness. So we should be cognizant of that fact and not read too much into some replies. However "jerky" will always be evident.

My two cents and great post!

Hugs

Isha

[kimdl93]

I don't think its possible to filter comments to avoid the conflicting interests and sentiments of those who dress for fun and those who, like me, dress as an expression of our gender identity. Of course, people should be considerate, kind, supportive, thoughtful, insightful etc. But sometimes any non Saint may have a snarky moment. And sometimes a bit of humor will carry a sarcastic edge. And sometimes I'll write on my iPad and be far more terse and seemingly rude than i ever intended. And sometimes I should read what I write before hitting "post quick reply" Such is life

[Katey888]

Members...

I've taken out some of the specific posting examples here because this is a good and relevant point to discuss without it getting personal... and it will get closed if it does.

I think it's worth both new and old members being reminded that the forum generally has quite adequate rules regarding how we can all respectfully interact, and if anyone feels that those limits have been exceeded by a member, then bottom left of every post is a little 'warning triangle' that can be used to report a specific post to Mods and Admins. It's often better to deal with specific posts than to close an entire thread and lose the subject discussion - we do take action on reported posts (and VMs and PMs too, btw...)

So - back in the fray everyone, no biting or punching in the clinch...

Katey
Moderator

[Erica Marie]

Thank you Katey

[NicoleScott]

It is disingenuous to complain about the lack of compasion and respect for your [unspecified] troubles when you minimize what "just for fun" crossdressers face by saying that their biggest struggle is choosing a lipstick color. You might as well just come out and say directly "I've got it worse than you do" when you really don't know that to be true.

[Desirae]

I'd like to comment here, but since the OP was censored, I'm not sure what the premise is. Perhaps TOO MUCH was censored? I suppose it is about some type of comments made in a post. The world is not all roses and butterflies. It's disingenuous to believe that all postings should be, too. I think its good to have posts that reflect the actual reality of the world we live in. Maybe that's just me, though.

[Teresa]

Erica,
I have days when I skip the frivolous stuff, I'm just not in the mood, maybe tomorrow I'll come back to them and put in a few funny remarks. We do need a mix on the forum, CDers don't lose their sense of humour, maybe sometimes has a bit of a twist to it.
We all know humour varies around the world, they say English humour is different to across the Atlantic, Aussie humour has it's own unique language, when you put it all together on the forum not everyone is going to pick up on it !
I guess the thing not to do is slam someone down for it as a bad comment but ask them to explain.

Desirae,
Rules are rules, I've had stuff zapped ! Just have to think of a different way to put your point across if you think it's important !!

[Erica Marie]

Scarlet its not all the mods fault. Quotes can not be taken from other posts and used to prove a point. The quotes were removed and the point of the post was lost. I asked to the mods to kindly close this thread.

[Katey888]

Closed at OP request