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Thread: Thinking of going out in the daylight for the first time. Fear is creeping in. Ugh.

  1. #1
    Junior Member VickiTheGamer's Avatar
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    Thinking of going out in the daylight for the first time. Fear is creeping in. Ugh.

    So, I have a group I am going to go to a meeting with. I am not required to dress but I have been to the meetings and the others are dressed. So, I thought to myself, "I am going to try to get the courage to go as Vicki". Alas, my insecurities have kicked in. The meeting is tomorrow night. So it will be starting to get darker when I go, but it won't be the late late (we early morning) hours I have gone out before (when no one was around).

    My GF said I look great and that she really does not think anyone will even wonder. So I have that, but still, I am frigging nervous.

    Aaaaaaaa

    Ok, thank you for reading. I at least expressed some energy. Now to get the bad energy out and go for it. (aaaaak!).

  2. #2
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Exactly how I felt the first time I went out in public dressed. But in the company of friends, in a friendly environment and with a confident stride, all the fear slips away. Go for it and have fun!

    And be sure to let us know how it goes ...

  3. #3
    Junior Member 6inchheels's Avatar
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    Go for it. Be confident and enjoy.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    If you are going out with the group I am thinking about, you'll be just fine.

    If it is a different group, you'll be just fine.
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  5. #5
    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    The hardest thing for most of us to pass ..... is the front door. Once you're out and about, it gets better. Really. Do your best, dress to blend and you'll be fine....

    Enjoy the butterflies.... eventually they go away and you'll miss them... kind of.

    Renne.....

  6. #6
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    Own it Vicki!

    Go out, be nervous, and revel in it afterwards! You can't top the joy of going out with your girlfriends! We all are a little frightened at first but people really aren't paying that much attention. You will find that most of your fear is in your head.

    Can't wait to hear how it went!
    Debby
    Debby

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Vicki,
    A little apprehension is a good thing, it helps balance reasoning and keeps that pink fog to a lower level.

    Weigh all your considerations up, and having read everybody's experiences and suggestions...... Go out and enjoy yourself.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  8. #8
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Going out enfemme is something that you will grow to love.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  9. #9
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    It's all about confidence first.
    From how how your GF sounds, it seems like you will have no problem.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

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  10. #10
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    Wish I had some support up here in Nor Cal.

    I find it hard to find people to support me in trying to get out while en femm

  11. #11
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    I don't know where you are in Nor Cal but if you are anywhere near Sacramento, check out the River City Gems! We have monthly events and always a fun, safe, and friendly environment!
    Debby

  12. #12
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    Well, by this writing you have either gone and done it or gotten cold feet. I hope you listened to your GF and broke through that thin wall of insecurities. It's really much better on the other side!

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  13. #13
    Sweetie shawnsheila's Avatar
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    I think many of us have been there before... its the most nerve wracking yet exhilarating experience to go out for the first time in girl mode. Its kinda like that big wall you have to use a rope to climb over at an obstacle course... it looks scary and if you keep thinking about it, you'll never get over the wall... you have to just take a deep breath and just do it... don't think about it... just do it. The next thing you know you'll be at the bottom of the wall on the other side, arms in the air as a victor.

  14. #14
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Debglam View Post
    ...if you are anywhere near Sacramento, check out the River City Gems! We have monthly events and always a fun, safe, and friendly environment!
    Te RCG was where I first came out. Debby is a doll and will help you wander your new path gracefully. The drive is a bit too far for me so I have found a group in San Jose.
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  15. #15
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Vicki . . . welcome to the "waiting to pass the front door club". It is natural to be nervous as going out "en femme" leaves you open to all sorts of potential happenings, good and bad. However, you will find that most people don't care even if they clock you as a guy and if they do, they normally have the good graces to keep it to themselves. Once you get out and about you will find it the biggest "non-event" and wonder "why the butterflies". However, caution is a good footing to have so do remember to be careful as I note you are going out at night . . . my advice for your first trip, stick to the venue of the meeting, go have fun then go home . . . breath then prep for the next time. Because once you go out, you'll be chasing that dragon from that point forward.

    Hugs

    Isha

  16. #16
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    I would think going to a support group would be the best way to start going out in the daytime. Just knowing that you'll be with others with the same proclivity, and who've been there themselves, should lessen any butterflies.

  17. #17
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    Out in the daylight!!!! OMG!!!! Call Emergency Services first so they can set off the sirens and announce to hide all the children, dogs, and those that might have weak hearts.

    There are several ways to go out. As mentioned, a trip to a support group is a good choice. A trip to a park in the middle of the day usually works because there are less people. It gives you a chance to get out in the sunshine and stretch your legs. Go for a ride in your car. Start small and as your confidence grows step up your outings. Soon you will be at the mall on Saturday mid morning with everyone else and not care one way or the other who might see you.

  18. #18
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    Vicky, your fears will melt once you walk out the door. Do think about venue and time and dress for that. Daytime makeup is normally quite light. Less is more. Daytime and casual usually go together unless you are going to a formalesque luncheon, for example. Simple = blending...

  19. #19
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Going out in the daylight is actually easier,safer and less stressful.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  20. #20
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Please to "BillyAnnJean" and her post from today about not being pretty enough --- funny and a new perspective - just dress (for yourself) and have fun........................Debra

  21. #21
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    First time is tough, it gets easier each time after

  22. #22
    Senior Member Bria's Avatar
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    About once a week I go to an informal group that meets at the local Hamburger Mary's, I've been going for several months now. I'm still a little nervous as I walk from the car to the door. Don't know why, because of all the times I've gone there has never been one hint that anyone recognized me as a "man in a skirt" or any such thing. Once I'm inside with the group, its a nonissue, I'm comfortable and have fun!

    Dress up and go for it!!

    Hugs Bria

  23. #23
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Hi Vicki,

    Pull up those big girls' undies and get in there . Seriously, I know that feeling oh so well, but seeing as you already know the group, you might actually feel more relaxed and a part of the group once dressed. Stage fright is to be expected, but it also gives an extra spur for me to beat that enemy.

    Anyway, you have to go dressed so that you can report back.....no pressure, but within 24 hours girl....OK?

    Rebecca
    Flying high under the spell of life!

    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  24. #24
    Member Tina G's Avatar
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    Good for you Vicki, i know the first steps are nerve wracking but I finally did mine the other day and i'm not looking back..


    Tina

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Going out in the daylight is actually easier,safer and less stressful.
    I would have to agree with you on that. I do go out at night as well to. I've been going out for a year now. So yes it gets easier each time. When you first go out go with a friend. That'll help you out. Once you get comfortable after that you could always be able to go out by yourself.

    Take care, Nikki

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