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Thread: Thinking of going out in the daylight for the first time. Fear is creeping in. Ugh.

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  1. #1
    Junior Member VickiTheGamer's Avatar
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    Thinking of going out in the daylight for the first time. Fear is creeping in. Ugh.

    So, I have a group I am going to go to a meeting with. I am not required to dress but I have been to the meetings and the others are dressed. So, I thought to myself, "I am going to try to get the courage to go as Vicki". Alas, my insecurities have kicked in. The meeting is tomorrow night. So it will be starting to get darker when I go, but it won't be the late late (we early morning) hours I have gone out before (when no one was around).

    My GF said I look great and that she really does not think anyone will even wonder. So I have that, but still, I am frigging nervous.

    Aaaaaaaa

    Ok, thank you for reading. I at least expressed some energy. Now to get the bad energy out and go for it. (aaaaak!).

  2. #2
    Neanderthal in nylons Julie Denier's Avatar
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    Exactly how I felt the first time I went out in public dressed. But in the company of friends, in a friendly environment and with a confident stride, all the fear slips away. Go for it and have fun!

    And be sure to let us know how it goes ...

  3. #3
    Junior Member 6inchheels's Avatar
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    Go for it. Be confident and enjoy.

  4. #4
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    If you are going out with the group I am thinking about, you'll be just fine.

    If it is a different group, you'll be just fine.
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  5. #5
    Silver Member RenneB's Avatar
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    The hardest thing for most of us to pass ..... is the front door. Once you're out and about, it gets better. Really. Do your best, dress to blend and you'll be fine....

    Enjoy the butterflies.... eventually they go away and you'll miss them... kind of.

    Renne.....

  6. #6
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RenneB View Post
    The hardest thing for most of us to pass ..... is the front door. ..
    Yea Renne !!!! You nailed it !!!! Yes have fun....and put on some cute sunglasses..I love daytime for that reason...wearing my favorite pair of Jackie O's .......

  7. #7
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    I am near sacramento, and the gems told me I wasn't welcome

  8. #8
    Senior Member samantha rogers's Avatar
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    Yes! Go for it! You will wonder afterward why you ever hesitated. And it just gets easier. You rock, honey.
    Hugs
    Sammie
    Every fear that held me back, when faced, has proven to be hollow.
    Courage is not the lack of fear, but the willingness to ignore it.
    It's your life. Make it count.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    Vicki,
    A little apprehension is a good thing, it helps balance reasoning and keeps that pink fog to a lower level.

    Weigh all your considerations up, and having read everybody's experiences and suggestions...... Go out and enjoy yourself.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Cat's Eye Siren ArleneRaquel's Avatar
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    Going out enfemme is something that you will grow to love.
    Fulfilling a Lifetime Dream of Living as a Woman in My Adult Years. Ten Years Living 24/7 as a Mature Lady

    My Love of Cat's Eye Frames, Bangles, Red Lipstick, Nails, & Cheeks, Comes From My Mother - An Irish Beauty

    I'm Always Rainbow Proud

  11. #11
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
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    It's all about confidence first.
    From how how your GF sounds, it seems like you will have no problem.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  12. #12
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    Wish I had some support up here in Nor Cal.

    I find it hard to find people to support me in trying to get out while en femm

  13. #13
    Senior Member Debglam's Avatar
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    I don't know where you are in Nor Cal but if you are anywhere near Sacramento, check out the River City Gems! We have monthly events and always a fun, safe, and friendly environment!
    Debby

  14. #14
    Sweetie shawnsheila's Avatar
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    I think many of us have been there before... its the most nerve wracking yet exhilarating experience to go out for the first time in girl mode. Its kinda like that big wall you have to use a rope to climb over at an obstacle course... it looks scary and if you keep thinking about it, you'll never get over the wall... you have to just take a deep breath and just do it... don't think about it... just do it. The next thing you know you'll be at the bottom of the wall on the other side, arms in the air as a victor.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Debglam View Post
    ...if you are anywhere near Sacramento, check out the River City Gems! We have monthly events and always a fun, safe, and friendly environment!
    Te RCG was where I first came out. Debby is a doll and will help you wander your new path gracefully. The drive is a bit too far for me so I have found a group in San Jose.
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  16. #16
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    I would think going to a support group would be the best way to start going out in the daytime. Just knowing that you'll be with others with the same proclivity, and who've been there themselves, should lessen any butterflies.

  17. #17
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    Out in the daylight!!!! OMG!!!! Call Emergency Services first so they can set off the sirens and announce to hide all the children, dogs, and those that might have weak hearts.

    There are several ways to go out. As mentioned, a trip to a support group is a good choice. A trip to a park in the middle of the day usually works because there are less people. It gives you a chance to get out in the sunshine and stretch your legs. Go for a ride in your car. Start small and as your confidence grows step up your outings. Soon you will be at the mall on Saturday mid morning with everyone else and not care one way or the other who might see you.

  18. #18
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    First time is tough, it gets easier each time after

  19. #19
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    Well, by this writing you have either gone and done it or gotten cold feet. I hope you listened to your GF and broke through that thin wall of insecurities. It's really much better on the other side!
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  20. #20
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Vicki . . . welcome to the "waiting to pass the front door club". It is natural to be nervous as going out "en femme" leaves you open to all sorts of potential happenings, good and bad. However, you will find that most people don't care even if they clock you as a guy and if they do, they normally have the good graces to keep it to themselves. Once you get out and about you will find it the biggest "non-event" and wonder "why the butterflies". However, caution is a good footing to have so do remember to be careful as I note you are going out at night . . . my advice for your first trip, stick to the venue of the meeting, go have fun then go home . . . breath then prep for the next time. Because once you go out, you'll be chasing that dragon from that point forward.

    Hugs

    Isha

  21. #21
    Junior Member Aubrey's Avatar
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    Congratulations Vicki! What a great outing, bet you will be buzzing for days

  22. #22
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    Vicky, your fears will melt once you walk out the door. Do think about venue and time and dress for that. Daytime makeup is normally quite light. Less is more. Daytime and casual usually go together unless you are going to a formalesque luncheon, for example. Simple = blending...

  23. #23
    Banned Spammer
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    Going out in the daylight is actually easier,safer and less stressful.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Debra Russell's Avatar
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    Please to "BillyAnnJean" and her post from today about not being pretty enough --- funny and a new perspective - just dress (for yourself) and have fun........................Debra

  25. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    Going out in the daylight is actually easier,safer and less stressful.
    I would have to agree with you on that. I do go out at night as well to. I've been going out for a year now. So yes it gets easier each time. When you first go out go with a friend. That'll help you out. Once you get comfortable after that you could always be able to go out by yourself.

    Take care, Nikki

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