Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 35

Thread: Man in Dress - Yuk or Nice?

  1. #1
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    876

    Man in Dress - Yuk or Nice?

    I am confused. My dilemma consist of being turned off by pictures of a man wearing a dress. Yet as I type these words I am wearing a medium long skirt, a bikini top, satin panties, otherwise just male. I am not turned off by myself, although I admit I do not often look in a mirror. It just feels good to wear feminine, even if only in the “closet”.

    I might explain that I am a retired senior, and have vigorously denied my crossdressing until just two years ago, at 78, when I joined this forum. I grew up with the usual, but fortunately not all, of the prejudices, and limitations, of my generation. By the way, I live alone, no family issues here. Should I consider myself still prejudiced, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?

    Since acknowledging my fondness for feminine clothes my mind has gone through enormous changes and adaptations. All for the good by the way, but it still is a struggle, like all growth, as I consider it. However, I’d like to leave some of that for a later post.

    I’ll appreciate some input.

    Ineke

  2. #2
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mississippi
    Posts
    5,000
    There is no right or wrong way to crossdress, and there is no right or wrong attractions nor repulsions. There's a difference between preferences and prejudices. Don't fret about what yours are.

  3. #3
    Stand-up Comedian En Fem❤ Alice_2014_B's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Puyallup, WA (USA)
    Posts
    4,605
    I agree with Nicole.
    In my opinion, one's own mind can be the most judgemental.
    Melissa: "... and why are you dressed as a woman?"
    Coach McGuirk: "Because it's freeing."

    -Home Movies
    (cartoon series)

    Shoe size: 9 US women's.
    Dress size: M to L; 8-10.
    Height: 5' 6".

  4. #4
    Senior Member mikiSJ's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Silicon Valley, CA
    Posts
    1,945
    The only thing I would caution you about would be to laugh at 'the man in the dress' you might see on the street somewhere. That would be kinda tacky if you then went home on put on your long skirt.

    Other than that, what the hell - do what you like!
    When writing the next chapter in your life, start with a pencil and eraser - my first page as Miki is full of eraser marks.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Midwest U.S.
    Posts
    7,357
    Ineke, At 78, i see your are much older and more experincdd in life, than the vast majority on here. Like you, i am alone, with no close family or friends. Have you ever been married, or had children? I grieve that i have not, and that i am a loner, and my nighbors avoid me, won't even say hi. Some may know i dress, as shortly having moved here, i returned at night dressed, and i think the flood lights exposed me, the one neighbor who will talk, said things, and i was spotted. Enough on that. I am gulity, too, of not liking seeing a man in a dress, no wig. I just do not like it, thought the man may be a great soul.

  6. #6
    Kate kathrynt21's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Northern CA
    Posts
    147
    Ineke-
    I think many of us who are older struggles with similar issues.
    I try to look at it this way:
    It's more important to me how I feel than how I look.

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    876
    Quote Originally Posted by mikiSJ View Post
    The only thing I would caution you about would be to laugh at 'the man in the dress' you might see on the street somewhere. That would be kinda tacky if you then went home on put on your long skirt.

    Other than that, what the hell - do what you like!
    I did once or twice in the past. That is why I put the extra paragraph in my post, about how I am happy with my rapidly improving views and opinions. They're changing for the better. It's quite an education and I like it. I guess one is never too old to learn

    Alice Torn - I was married in a previous life, re: long time ago. No children, raised by foster families. Fortunately, so far no one I know has avoided me as a single. I would call myself alone by habit if not by desire. And, frankly, being a closeted crossdresser does increase that situation. C'est la vie.

    Ineke
    Last edited by Ineke Vashon; 07-09-2014 at 05:39 PM.

  8. #8
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Tampa
    Posts
    2,275
    Man in a dress...with a beard? Or cleanly shaven? THE Crossdressers Handbook is quite clear on this matter. Bearded Crossdressers MUST stick with skirts AND the skirts must be "fingertip" length or longer. If I remember right, a beard is anything more than 7 days growth.

    Seriously, MEN wearing ["obviously"] FEmale attire out in public are THE people who will make CDing easier for all because they ARE easy to notice. Despite what so many here think/wish to claim, JD Public is not out looking to bust anyone, ESPECIALLY those "ladies" doing their best to simply "blend in".

    However, Human Nature is well studied and well understood. If a man "dressed as a woman" slinks around like a criminal with their head on a swivel "looking guilty", people WILL notice. It's ingrained in us [to protect ourselves] to notice odd behavior.

    "Passing" is very simple. Dress how one feels comfortable with, "act normal" in public and treat people right that one interacts with.

    Hundreds here abide by this simple formula.

    And no doubt about it, being single certainly has it's benefits.

  9. #9
    Martini Girl Katey888's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Old Hampshire, UK
    Posts
    5,271
    Ineke - you are an inspiration!

    But don't sweat this one... I don't think there's anything prescriptive about what has to turn us on or not... I do not believe that is in the least connected with what drives us to this shared passion...

    How many 'normal' folk, after all, would be turned on by looking in the mirror at themselves, whatever they were wearing...?

    There are bigger issues in anyone's world to worry about..

    Katey x
    "Put some lipstick on - Perfume your neck and slip your high heels on
    Rinse and curl your hair - Loosen your hips, and get a dress to wear"
    Stefani Germanotta

  10. #10
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Poconos PA
    Posts
    18,971
    I'd say just go with whatever works for you Hon.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  11. #11
    Member devida's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Florida Central Atlantic Coast
    Posts
    343
    Really why do you care about other men in dresses? If you like yourself in a dress really that is all you need. As long as you are not going out and declaiming about how awful it is for older men to wear dresses why be bothered at all? You are not required to like the way other people present themselves, just to accept that they have the right, as you do, to present themselves any way they please. Just like you they are doing it for their own satisfaction, not yours. Why create a problem that actually is not there?

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    876
    Quote Originally Posted by devida View Post
    Really why do you care about other men in dresses?

    Just like you they are doing it for their own satisfaction, not yours. Why create a problem that actually is not there?
    I do not care about other men in dresses - I don't condemn other men's dressing. They can do all they want, they do not need my approval. What I care about is my negative reaction to it, and how to change that into a positive, or at least neutral, feeling. It is my personal feeling about it that I am examining and wishing to change.

    Ineke

  13. #13
    Junior Member Sc0rp10N's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Location
    not telling
    Posts
    73
    Man in a dress... I'm not attracted to him either... And he's me also... And I'm also perfectly comfortable wearing the dress (in the house) but I'm a little more narcissistic and actually DO check myself out in the mirror. I think part of the difference is this- when its YOU you're looking at in a dress, you also have all the other sensations of BEING the image you're looking at, feeling the clothing, the mood, etc. While when you look at a picture or see the "man in a dress" all you have to go on is the visual representation. I know, when I step back from the mirror a little, I'm just a dude in a dress, but I FEEL like more than that at the time, when the mood is right and I've got the whole get-up on. I'm not attracted to completely unpassable guys in dresses, but my self image in a dress is a little more pleasing to my own eye, because I'm emotionally attached. Don't know if that helps, but its my 2 cents.

  14. #14
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Location
    Central Massachusetts
    Posts
    2,362
    Your visual responses to people are different than how you feel about yourself or your identity.

    What you like and who you identify as are separate things, sweetie. Most CD folks here are 'straight'. (I'm an exception, I'm 'flexible')

    You feel more at home in frilly things, I get that. I LOVE the feel of skirts instead of 'man bags'. Try to understand that what you are feeling has -nothing- to with sexual orientation or your genetic baggage. A lot of us here struggle with being in the wrong body vs how we feel about ourselves.

    I wear girl clothes every day, while being a big furry beast with a beard and tree trunk thighs. You feel like who you feel. It doesn't always link up with your birthed gear.

    This is a great place to expand your view of the world. You have a lot of co-travellers here.

    Read up the threads. I promise you won't feel so isolated.

    <3

    - MM
    - Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
    ----------------------------------------------------------------
    "I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder

  15. #15
    Complex Lolita...
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Posts
    2,768
    Quote Originally Posted by Ineke Vashon
    Man in Dress - Yuk or Nice? Should I consider myself still prejudiced, or am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
    Kinda yuk, I’d say, which may explain my take on things. For me it’s less about appearance and more about feelings or sensations, but I try my best to neutralize the “yuk” factor…

    You’re not making a mountain out of a molehill – you’re just making an observation…

  16. #16
    Silver Member noeleena's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    waimate new zealand
    Posts
    3,326
    Hi.

    Had you been born in the Renaissance times of 1400 to 1700, you would not have ? ;d your self as many men wore dress;s and or skirts, and lovely coloured fabrics and tights wigs and other garb = clothes, plus makeup.

    Our men in our = The S C A groups around the world do just that to day, at our meetings and camps. Do our men get ? ;d or thought of as strange not as far as I can see, and I invite people in to see what we do, plus tell them as to why, and we reinact those times as close to how it was then,

    Im a female and look more male because of my facial features yet I have no issue;s,

    Though in mundane world normal day wear , my normal female clothes, I will be seen or perceived as like a male though the many who know me know different, as my avatar show,s .

    To those male;s if it's just about the clothes only then that's not an issue its when male;s wont to look like us women then that's a very different matter,

    The clothes I wear are not just your normal day wear I wear quite different styles and different periods plus uniforms and my mind set is not govenered by western thinking of the fashion that persist;s to day ,

    I wear what im happy wearing and..... wont..... conform..... to others thinking,
    Though im different im still accepted for who I am , so something to think about ,

    ...noeleena...

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Amanda22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Location
    Chattanooga, TN USA
    Posts
    693
    Ineke, I think your reaction to seeing others crossdressing and finding it a turn off is just normal at this stage. I think that'll go away as you become more comfortable with yourself. Two years is very recent in my opinion. You've been subjected to 76 years of social conditioning, so give yourself a break if you can. I'm looking forward to more posts from you!

  18. #18
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    A bit south of the 49th!
    Posts
    23,676
    Another agreement with Nicole's post. CDing has something unique for each of us.
    Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one.

    Eleanor Roosevelt

  19. #19
    I just Love being a Gurl! bobbimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern Neck of VA
    Posts
    735
    Why not work on shedding the man in the dress and try some makeup, a wig, and see how the girl inside presents her self.
    You may find a new and exciting friend!
    Bobbi
    Aint nothin gonna happen that aint supposed too!

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,955
    You may look yuk to others but if you only dress for yourself let your imagination run wild.

    Fantasy is a wonderful thing.

    Don't spoil the illusion by letting others see you and if you do just work on improving your appearance.

    It is a worthwhile cause.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    547
    When I dress, I dress. I do not want to look like a man in a dress.

    I become the character that I am dressing as, male or female.

    When I dress as a woman I become a woman and want to perfect my dressing in every way to look as a very passable woman.

    Period!

  22. #22
    I just Love being a Gurl! bobbimo's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Northern Neck of VA
    Posts
    735
    Quote Originally Posted by Martha G View Post
    When I dress, I dress. I do not want to look like a man in a dress.

    I become the character that I am dressing as, male or female.

    When I dress as a woman I become a woman and want to perfect my dressing in every way to look as a very passable woman.

    Period!
    Well said Martha!
    Sometimes I look at the women around me and they are quite casual. I have been enjoying light makeup, earrings and a sundress. Just enough to let the girl look back at me from the mirror.
    Since my 100yo mom has moved down to live with us, I have toned that down to girl shorts and girl V neck tees. with my long hair it looks and feels feminine enough to hold back the pink fog.
    I do have a rule that I must at least shave my face. Thats a boy part that needs to be hidden.
    Bobbi
    Aint nothin gonna happen that aint supposed too!

  23. #23
    Just a touch of class Lynn Marie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    NW Washington State
    Posts
    2,898
    I started this silly obsession with lingerie and gradually moved to outerwear and heels also. The "clothing" area of this forum was all I was interested in. It was all about the "feeling" of the clothing and I continually avoided full length mirror views.

    Then I finally tried hair and makeup. That changed everything. Now there was a completely realistic illusion of my dream girl staring back at me in that mirror that I had so assiduously avoided! I was in love and began to understand the other parts of the forum. It's no longer just the clothes, it's the illusion and the whole package.

  24. #24
    Member Oh Stella's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    east of Cincinnati, Ohio
    Posts
    158
    I dont like the look of a guy in a dress but I do like it when a guy does a great job of dressing and looks like a woman. Even if I can tell its a guy, as long as he looks mostly like a girl it doesnt bother me. When I dress I try my best at looking like a girl sometimes better than others but I try every time.

    Thats just me and my personal preferences. Dont take this as the norm.

  25. #25
    New Member Kyrianna's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    18
    I like it. I have seen a few and technically wore one at my wedding (Scottish Kilt). It is not that fact of how he looks in only that he is wearing it. It makes me feel good to see that we are starting to be a society where we accept people for who they are. Maybe it is just up here in Canada but looking back 20 years it has only gotten better.

    This being said, I have yet to be attracted to a man in a dress (I have yet to be attracted to a man in general). I can say that I have found some CD and TS very attractive. (If i was not married, I would hope that i would have the courage to ask them out!)
    Kyrianna

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State