Teasing the boys and flirting with the girls

[Lynn Marie]

Of course everyone is different, but there's a very real pattern I've noticed when I'm out. I make every effort to present well, but there's just too many "dead giveaways" for me to fool everybody!

Men seem to be immediately interested probably by the same things that get my attention when a woman walks by. The skirt, the heels, the swell of the breasts, and the wiggle in the walk.......... then they realize what they're looking at and look away for fear anyone will notice that they're really sort of attracted to this illusion!

Women, on the other hand, seemed intrigued by this classy old broad who's not exactly what she seems, but is still a female illusion and therefore non-threatening and someone interesting! It's almost as if they are free to flirt without the fear of attracting the wrong sort of guy! It's actually really cool. Adds a whole new dimension to "girls night out".

[hope springs]

Interesting observation. I havnt talked to any GGs yet while dressed so i will keep an eye out for this. Non-threatening yet still i guy... if you have a good personality i can see how a GG might be flirty. Anyone notice this?

[Tracii G]

Lynn I have noticed that too.

[Alice Torn]

Interesting. I seldom go out, but have gotten pointed and OMG form young females, and yelled at by guys passing in a truck. I am fearful of guys that will become offended, and hostile, when they fine they were folled at first. In "broad" daylight, less of a threat, though. Some of us super tall Cds do sick out big time though.

[Kate Simmons]

I never really tried to analyze it Lynn. I just have fun with it.

[Oh Stella]

I dressed for Halloween a few years ago and took my young ones out trick or treating. At some point two girls were following us down the street and they made a comment about how awesome my shoes were. When I didnt reply they said it again. When I still didnt reply she says "hey you hear me b*#ch?" I then said In my deep guy voice " yes I heard you and thank you" Both of them said "omg your a guy?" They kept following us the rest of the evening and telling their friends "hey look, shes a guy!". They were very nice to me and like a few of you have said even a bit flirty. Any time we would meet a guy and they would tell them about me, the guys would say "what? Thats crazy!" And leave right away.

[Beverley Sims]

That was a sport that I coul engage in when I was younger, before I got married.

[kimdl93]

Your observations correspond with my RLE. I've spent some very enjoyable evenings out in conversation with GGs who were intrigued, curious, unthreatened and in a few cases clearly interested. I was at first surprised, but I think your post sheds some light on these experiences.

[Lynn Marie]

I never really tried to analyze it Lynn. I just have fun with it.

You don't think I'm having the time of my life with it? LOL I really didn't analyze it, I just observed it and enjoyed the hell out of it!

[Badwolf]

I'd love to be comfortable enough in my "other" skin to flirt with the girls.

As a guy, most of my girlfriends get jealous of how nice and sometimes "flirty" I can be, without even intending to hookup.

[Richelle]

Lynn,

I have never noticed guys looking at me then turning away. However, I do seem to have a lot of enjoyable conversations with GGs when I am traveling as Richelle. Although, I do not feel that they are flirting. Maybe I am being naïve but I always take it as them accepting me a as women.

Richelle

[GeminaRenee]

In the case of women, my theory is that crossdressing is the surest way to signal that you do not belong to the Fraternity of Typical Males. I get the impression that most women spend a good chunk of their time trying to keep that population at arms length, which requires a certain aloofness on their part. The crossdresser-on-the-town is obviously a breed apart, and I think encourages a certain curiosity and breaks down some of the typical barriers that women are forced to erect when interacting with men. I love this new dynamic, and it is probably one of the most thrilling things about getting out for me.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I think being a crossdresser messes up everyone's preconceptions.

Guys might be attracted to the "woman", until they figure out the truth and start questioning their own maleness.

Women may the the "woman" and feel safe, even after they figure out the truth.

[ReineD]

Honestly Lynne, I think we see what we want to see. If we are positive people then we feel that others look at us positively, and vice versa. But the truth is that no one knows what others are thinking when they notice. I think it's mixed. Some men and women will disapprove even though they might not show it, others will be curious or even fascinated if they've not seen a CDer before, although my guess is that they would much rather see a stranger crossdress than someone they're close to. Still others will admire you and your independence for having the guts to dress this way in the name of self-expression. And there will also be a few who are sexually attracted, most likely trans-admirers.

If a hetero guy reads a CDer though, I don't think he'll be sexually attracted no matter how short the skirt or high the heels. He fundamentally knows that he is looking at a man and this is enough to put the brakes on, I should think.

[Connie.Marie]

Lynn,
I've had 3 different types of experiences with gg's
1) While out at a nightclub (Scandals in Asheville), a young 20-ish girl came up to me asking questions. I was glad to engage her in conversation but in a few minutes her threatened boyfriend started to indicate that he wanted me to leave. Which I did so as not to make a scene..
2) Same night, I had a gg take me under her wing & teach me how to dance like a lady, seems that I was doing it all wrong.. imagine that. Had another gg take me in and taught me more about makeup & clothes.
3) Another time, with ladies about my age, we just sat around & talked about everything, Kids, morals & values, perfumes, food, wine... Very fun, just fitting in & being accepted.

I loved all 3 types..

Hugs, Connie Marie

[mechamoose]

I know plenty of "straight bois" who enjoy a well presenting transexual. The clothing and presentation are 'role signals', and there are plenty of 'manly men' for whom that is enough. Dress in pink and frills and it may not matter that you have a peen.

Seriously, its just another flavor of who humans are.

- MM

[PaulaQ]

One of the funniest things I get to watch is one of my friends flirt with guys. She's trans, and she's a lesbian through and through. But she brings the boys out to the yard! She absolutely loves the attention she gets from men. She presents in a very stereotypically feminine manner - heels, skirts, hose. I've seen her stop traffic in our neighborhood - the guys down here LOVE her, and flirt with her a lot. She loves it. I feel sorry for the dudes though, because she's a total tease - no way any of them are getting a date with her. (Believe me, they've tried.)

I mostly dress like a soccer mom, so I get zero attention from the boys. I'm trying to step it up a notch, because she looks like she's having fun, and unlike her, I wouldn't automatically turn down a really nice guy. She's really tall and leggy though, and that's something I don't have going for me. I'm "dumpy but cute" - at least according to the women of Plano, TX...

[devida]

Women in general seem to be much more discerning about the way I present than men. Since at least half the clothes I am wearing are women's clothes and I am clearly not presenting as macho I either get smiles or scowls from women, though many more smiles and hellos than scowls. The glum looks seem to be from older women who dress badly and aren't taking care of themselves. Men are often puzzled but hardly ever even a little bit hostile. Some compliment me. In general since I started dressing more femme everyone is a lot friendlier to me. I guess more women do flirt with me. I am sure everyone is right that cross dressing presents a much less threatening profile to women and many find gender variation interesting. Given the incredibly boring way most men dress you can hardly blame them.

[ReineD]

2) Same night, I had a gg take me under her wing & teach me how to dance like a lady, seems that I was doing it all wrong.. imagine that. Had another gg take me in and taught me more about makeup & clothes.
3) Another time, with ladies about my age, we just sat around & talked about everything, Kids, morals & values, perfumes, food, wine...

This has been our experience as well. Women seem to be much more accepting and less judgmental than men, generally, provided of course we are not talking about a GG who just found out her husband dresses after x number of years married. In other words, strangers seem to be more accepting than women within arm's length, because what we do or don't do doesn't impact their lives in any way. I hope I'm not engaging in stereotypes, but I think this is because we GGs are socialized differently than men. I think we tend to be more cooperative. Also, I think that the women are responding to my SO's and my own willingness to engage them in conversation. It's a two-way street.

An example of cooperation: some time back, another woman in a car and I were vying for the same metered parking spot on the street. When I realized that she was also signaling for that spot, I gesticulated to her that the spots two cars behind it (that were closer to her) were empty while the spots above it (closer to me) were taken. She immediately nodded, put her car in reverse, and took one of the other spots so we could both park our cars. This is just a small example, but all my life other women and I have been cooperating in order to get the job done, whether this was at work, with childcare, with volunteer work, etc. We (most of us) do tend to be all inclusive and this requires an ability to be open-minded, flexible, and friendly. Whereas I've noticed that men seem to want to hold their ground more.

Do the women who are friendly to us when my SO is dressed, take it that my SO is a woman and this is why they are so friendly? Honestly I don't think so. My SO has had no HRT, FFS, etc and I seriously doubt that the people who talk to us for any length of time believe that my SO is a GG. But, I do know that it doesn't matter to me who I fold into my inner sphere: female, male, or trans. As long as they are friendly and willing to socialize with me, I will be friendly right back with them! I believe that many other women feel as I do.

I do not agree with the notion that women can only relax with men who do not pose a threat, in other words who are gay or trans. Most men that I know do not pose a threat to me and if they want to socialize with me (which many do), then I'll be social and friendly right back! But, not as many men as women give me the impression they are OK socializing with a feminine male, unless of course they are admirers and they want something else. lol My SO and I have had experiences with that too.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Lynn Marie, I've seen your pictures many times and I can believe
that you can play tricks with peoples minds, you always look fantastic.

[Badwolf]

Reine,

While you did hit on some stereotypes, I don't normally think they are all bad.

I'm not sure the co-operation aspect is that huge, since a lot of men are taught different types of co-operation. Team sports, and efforts are huge co-operation experiences.

There is an aggressive tendency in the ways boys have been raised, which when combined with the effects of testosterone, which I think plays more into it. When you get someone who is solution oriented, who likes to "solve" things with some version of force, that is presented a thing like this which is a "problem" when most people are introduced to it, you end up with some not so nice things happening. They try to find the fastest most aggressive way to bring things back to normal.