Married 35 years, no.
Married 35 years, no.
Wow! Who can tell about the future?
Today people in general tend to marry later than when I was as young as you: According to Wikipedia, men on average marry now at 28.9 and women at 26.9... I married when I was younger than you, and am still married decades later (will not confess how many, blush). I would not change a thing.
There are so many other considerations: are you a student with many years of study ahead of you? Do you both have jobs? What are your goals? If you are planning to have children soon, that is another ballgame. Unless you live in a very conservative society, living together for some time seems to be a good approach.
Congratulations, Becca, to you and your girlfriend. To be in love to a person who also is your best friend is a real blessing.
No don't get
Married. You have no idea about what it means to get married. My wife and I are a couple. We can never separate. Far too many people marry for sex frankly. It all about the person, first and foremost it's about being with a person you cannot.be without. I would die without her.
Can you say that?
Too many crossdressers seek some kind of approval. No idea why. I feel crossdressing is a private matter and should be kept private. Even if your wife or SO is OK with it, I would still keep it private, and not in her face. Even if I had a wife who was OK with it, I would not dress in front of her or sit around the house dressed when she was home. Just my take on it.
These were said a few times here. Please listen to these statements.
1 Introduce your beloved to your dressed self..and spend some time together.
2 You may not think so now but you both WILL change alot in the coming years, Is SHE sure in everyday reality she can be supportive, accepting and most importantly happy ?
3 Is family [ yours and hers ] important to you both ?
And finally, make a financial plan to carry you both through life. [ The #1 reason for divorce ]
P.S I'm a GG married to a CD for 40 years., but I would ask most of the same questions to anyone thinking about getting married... If they asked.
I agree with Presh.
You need to dress around the house, during the day, while she is there.. Multiple times, start kinda slow.. And wear the underwear of your desire, even when you dress as a man. See what types of controversies this causes.. You need to make sure BOTH of you can handle it, FOREVER. But also give her NON-DISTRACTED MAN time. I would also recommend some very deep soul searching, if you marry her as a man who likes silly clothes occasionally; any future ideas of "transition" would be VERY unfair+SELFISH to her (+ kids ?), knowning what you know now.. I read these stories all the time here. Often our girlfriends here, didn't think it a possibility at time of marriage, and not all things can be foreseen or planned, and there are some very sad stories as a result. And, very few very lucky girlfriends here, they had a wife/SO who was fully on-board. Luckily, I'm super happy with my man body.
I didn't ever consider dressing until, 2yrs after we married; and there are difficulties which have arrisen, but overall my wife has been VERY understanding and considerate.. But not without trauma to her feelings. It was her that intruduced me to trying on girl clothes; but I don't think she remembers/realizes this, fully.. This is not a point I ever try to rub in. I work at home, and between XX-AM to 6PM, I'm typically dressed to my desire, 80% girly days. I'm sure to be her man, and kid's father, on the evenings and weekends; maybe just nice underwear at these times. We have little ones now, one is becoming very aware, so I'm trying to figure some things out as well...
And as Presh said, Financial *IS* #1 reason for marital trouble; and future stresses in the finances topic, will likely rear their head in the area of outward irritation (dressing). Especially since it takes finances to maintain two wardrobes. Luckily I've been fortunate in this regard for 20+ years. So dressing is the #1 irritation, and seems maintainable, as of today. I may just start doing little outings on special evenings as kids growup.. Who knows.. sigh..
Last edited by Natalee; 07-22-2014 at 06:14 PM.
No way, don't get married now. Wait until yer like 29. A lot of marriages kind of suck anyway, but most folks don't realize it until it's too late. Your still figuring yourself out at 22 let alone someone else.
I think the mistake many crossdressers make, is acting like they are revealing some big dark secret about their lives, and seeking approval from their spouses or SOs. Then the spouse reacts thinking they have this big lifelong problem to deal with. You can be honest, without over doing it, and acting like the dressing is a major part of your life and your personality. If you get caught, just admit it, and say you wanted to see what it felt like, or you like the feel of womens clothes. Most men are turned on by womens clothes, and they are designed to do so! Putting them on and wearing them is just carrying it a step further.
No way. Only get married if you're both absolutely sure you really, really want to. Don't do it just because it's "about time" or "convenient". You're both very young and you probably have no idea what sort of persons you will be by the time you're 30, or 40 etc. Plus, if either of you has a habit or trait that the other dislikes, there's a good chance that one trait will constantly cast a big shadow over all other things. And the trait you have (it's not bad on our eyes, but clearly isn'r acceptable in her's right now) will never go away for long. So unless your dressing becomes acceptable to all parties, it'll cause problems forever.
Wait, and if your dressing becomes acceptable and you can both enjoy it, then you've found a gem and snatch her up quickly. But make sure you're both completely honest.
No matter what your age is, young or old, there is no guarantees! I'm sorry to tell you this, but no one knows just how long a marriage will last at the start.
Your in love, and you want to spend time together, but given time, that maybe a good thing, or not, only time will tell.
She knows you are a dresser, and she is willing to take that on, many of us didn't give our fiancé the chance to say yea on nay, before the wedding, but got caught, or told latter on.
Many of us that did that are still happily married. Her knowing first, gives it an even better chance.
But things you might want to think about, if you wait until your say 27 as someone suggested, you and your girl friend will have been together for 10 years, not so sure you sweetheart will be willing to wait for that long to get a commitment out of a guy. Besides, while the younger generation is waiting longer to get married, I've seen no statistics that say fewer people are getting divorced, so I'm not so sure about being older helping all that much. What does matter, at 22 do you make enough money to live on for two?
Everything else being equal, I think one of the biggest problems with young marriages, is a lack of money. Money may be the root of all evil, but lack of it is even worse.
We really can't help you much, you can't read others relationships, or what they can really handle, not really knowing the people involved, Only the two of you can figure that part out.
But get married, or not, either way, life comes with no guarantees, all you can do is lay your money down, and take you chances, with luck, if you do get married, it could last a live time, or it could be over in a few years, but they might have been a few great years, and you could be sorry you missed them.
Love may not conquer all, but it does take in a lot.
Magic is the art of changing consciousness at will.
Becca - I would wait for a while.
In your first post in this thread you say:
I want to marry her, but I'm afraid that my cross dressing urges will become too much for her to handle and she'll leave me. I don't want that to happen, because nobody else knows about me CDing.
I don't like the fact that she is the only other person who knows of your CDing is the reason you give as to why you do not want her to leave you. Surely you should not want her to leave because you are truly in love with her?
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