If a cure existed...would you still be you?

[Maria 60]

I am the one who tells my wife, "if it wasn't for this dressing, instead of wasting my time dressing or even wasting my thoughts on it". I think I would be concentrating more on working and how to make more money. My wife believes the dressing is a gift and if it wasn't for the dressing not really would I be focused on making more money, maybe the opposite, maybe get into drugs or gambling. She believes our thirty year marriage is so strong because of the dressing, she loves being the only one holding my life long secret, she loves having a husband who shops with her, and having a man next to her when she needs a man. Maybe a removeing it from my life would make things worse. We always think on the bright side, if it wasn't this I would be there better now. Maybe removing it would be for the worst.

[Donnagirl]

Nope.... I'm sure, despite the recent positive changes, her current supportive attitude and assistance she would secretly administer me a double dose just to be sure...

[lucy_miller]

I wouldn't take it now (a new discovery) but those painful early years (pre-internet) when you didn't know your corset from your stocking and had no way to share...

[sometimes_miss]

While I completely understand the whole 'love yourself' concept, being a crossdresser is simply one complication in life that I could easily have lived without. I have no illusions about how people feel about us, having experienced it again just a few days ago where, unknowing about me, I overheard several female co-workers laughing and joking about a guy they spotted wearing womens' clothing. Tolerence and acceptance never felt so far apart........

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Adriana, I wouldn't want to take the cure I would be afraid that it might work and I would lose out on all of this fun.

[Aubrey]

A cure would be great! Not for CD/TS/TGs, but for the horrible judgmental people out there that recklessly hate what they do not understand. Good luck getting them to take it though

[Rhonda Darling]

Cure. Hmmmmmm. I see shades of electro-shock therapy and lobotomy in any attempt to "cure" someone who isn't sick. I would respectfully decline the opportunity to have my soul crushed, thank you very much!

Your mileage may differ.

Rhonda

[mariehart]

There is only one 'cure' for me and that's to become a woman. Anything else isn't a cure.

[Beverley Sims]

Don't cure me, find a cure for the common cold first.

[Badwolf]

I've always lived with the philosophy that if I'm happy with how my life is now, there really isn't anything I need to regret. That is because in the end it would change who I am significantly. A lot of small things would change me as well.

So I definitely would say it would change who I am immensely. If smaller things make me feel the way I just described, this is a much larger change over my life.

I've had mostly friends that are girls since I was little, even felt bad when I was left out of their "girl talk". I never understood why I could just keep being part of it. I spent lots of time struggling with dressing since I started doing it at all, and I became very analytical of how I felt, how other people felt. I picked my friends very carefully thanks to all of these things, and most of them I will make sure I keep in touch with them for life. I just love them that much.

Why would I give all that up just to get rid of the useless nerves that hold me back from being who I want to be exactly.

[Confucius]

I believe many cross-dresser would not want a "cure" because they fear being unhappy. We know that cross-dressing makes us happy, and we may find a "cure" more appealing if we understood the trade off.

If a cure means I would have more discretionary income...
If a cure means I would be more successful with females...
If a cure means it would improve my self-esteem...
If a cure means I would appreciate all the good things about being a man...
If a cure makes my wife and family love and respect me more...
If a cure means I would better channel my energies in more productive ways...
If a cure helped me get a better job and better income...
If a cure means it would be easier to accept myself, and I could be happy, then,

Honestly, I don't believe there is such a thing as a "cure", but if there was such a pill, then sign me up. My life would be easier.

[Badwolf]

I mean confucius by that same logic what would happen if there as a pill to make us permanently female? Would that be considered a "cure" to some more than the other version.

I mean you bring up a lot of good points, but I disagree that it is just a fear of being unhappy in my case. It is more an acceptance that if I'm happy, I have no reason to change anything in my past. My future is still unwritten so if the cure was there, and I had the opportunity to take it with good reason many of the reasons you say still would be motivators to do so.

[LelaK]

It seems like CDs here are divided vaguely into two groups (for convenience sake), those who value feminine identity quite a bit and those who just like to sample it a bit and maybe value masculine identity more than feminine. So the latter would not feel a great loss if they were to cease dabbling in femininity. The rest of us however would perhaps lose our sanity or interest in life, if we lost our feminine identity. I personally have always been somewhat embarrassed to have a male body and by male culture in general, especially authoritarianism (brutality, domination). There are some aspects of male culture I like and partake of, but not many, I think.

[Katey888]

Adriana - you've asked an interesting question that has been interpreted in many interesting ways here...

At a simplistic level, for me, if the 'cure' fully eradicated my need to crossdress - and there was no other desire that replaced that, so I was just left with 'normal' me and 'normal' things to do - then why wouldn't I still be me? I'd still love women and how they dress, just for fewer reasons... I'd still be rubbish at understanding how to pair plain tops with patterned bottoms, but who would care? It wouldn't change my appreciation of fine art, contemporary dance, good cooking and wine... Why would it?

While I would agree that the loss of diversity to the world would be a bad thing (ultimately everything becomes vanilla and regimented), and I'm not saying I'd want it to change, but I don't see how it would make me any different from the core person that I am today...?

Is there a degree of 'crossdressing makes you a better person' going on here... because I don't see that. I don't think it makes us worse - but I do still see insensitivity, intolerance and bigotry amongst this population - I just don't see why we can't or wouldn't exhibit those traits we feel are positive ones, without the crossdressing part...

Maybe it's just me...

Katey x

[Lorileah]

Don't cure me, find a cure for the common cold first.

I agree, almost everyone gets a cold (have one now).

Adriana, I'm curious as to why you would need crossdressing to be the person you described in your post?

This is hard to explain to someone who doesn't see the world through our eyes. I don't know about Adriana, but in my case the exact opposite was true. I needed the clothes to be what society thought I should be.

My gender doesn't change who I am, no matter how I look I will always be me. If you change based on your appearance are you not just acting and portraying a character based on your ideal of what femininity is when you CD.

If I were borne in India to different parents in the 17th century would I still be me?

You were don't you remember?

[Richelle423]

Please don't cure but give me something to make me better at dressing and georgeous!

[RADER]

Adriana;
Sorry, I misunderstood. No I would not change one bit. I enjoy what I do and
who I am. Dressing relaxes Me, and I enjoy it; And so did my wife. She would
pick out things for me to wear from time to time. I miss that.
Rader

[mikiSJ]

Of course i would. Why would I put my self through all of this turmoil totally upsetting my life, my marriage, my family, my friendships.

The only positives I can think of right now are the new, and very caring, girlfriends who have chosen me to be a part of their lives.

[Tracy Hazel Lee]

My activities bring way too much enjoyment for me to ever consider 'curing' myself. I also strongly believe that a part of my attraction to this comes from the fact that my girlfriend exhibits none of the qualities that I find attractive (visually) in women. I dress because I want exposure to these traits. Dressing myself up is the only way to get them without leaving the relationship. (don't want to do that either)

'Curing' myself would most definitely result in me going elsewhere (relationship-wise) to get my 'exposure'.

[Cheryl T]

I don't need a cure to be me, I'm not sick, I'm not ill, I'm just ME.

[Adriana Moretti]

lotta posts of people wishing they diddnt crossdress, lotta people feeling it is a curse or something. I get it...but thats no way to go through life...hating and regreting something you like..but I do see why people feel that way. I would need to be sick if i wanted a cure for something...and I'm not sick ....lots of great responses in here...too bad mine isnt one of them.

[GeminaRenee]

I'm not diseased, so I don't see what I might need a cure for.

What I would like to see cured is the attitude that crossdressing is something that needs to be fixed. And language (as in, referring to a cure for it) that, consciously or not, endorses the notion that t-people should bend to the will of those who would condemn them.

[tstvtryit]

Interesting question in that it suggests that CDing is a sickness. I've always seen it as a choice, merely another way to feel good about myself.

That being said: If there was a way to make me not feel the need to dress I would have to say 'no'. I feel as a man when I need to, and when I need to feel free, I dress as a woman. Again, it's a choice, a way to express feelings I cannot during the day to day grind, so why would I give that up?

[AmandaM]

Being a crossdresser is a hassle in life, love, careers, etc. I'd take the pill. I'd also take it if I was gay, or anything else that stigmatizes you. Being a vanilla straight guy is so much easier in this world.

[MelanieAnne]

Being a vanilla straight guy would be totally boring. And you'll get into more trouble chasing skirts then you will crossdressing. And maybe it sounds selfish, but when you are crossdressing, you can spend 100% of your time and energy pleasing yourself, instead of someone else.