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Thread: How much does your SO accept you?

  1. #1
    Member Kevyn53's Avatar
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    How much does your SO accept you?

    I've been reading a lot of posts from gals that talk about their spouse/SO accepting them or not. I have to update my status with my wife.

    I have gotten such acceptance since I got to vent all the hidden feelings to her that lately she's the one suggesting days out for Kevyn, or geez your eyebrows need thinning (she's the one with the tweezers making them arch nicely). When we're in second-hand stores she continually comes up to me, whether I'm en femme or drab, and holds up a new blouse or skirt or shoes for me. She said I needed decent nylons the other day.

    We had such a great day on our trip to the big city that I think she's having fun with "girl's day out." I'm learning to tell her that I appreciate her and all that she's done for me and that I'm trying to include her in all aspects of Kevyn.

    One day she laid down for a nap and I got dressed while she was down. I was in my studio painting when she got up and she casually said, "Oh you're a girl!" and went about her weekend.

    I am so blessed I can't express it completely.

    I'd like to hear others relationships.

  2. #2
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    sounds like a lovely relationship, Kevyn. Over the years, I've felt that my wife was fairly accommodating and accepting. She even went so far as to invite a neighbor lady to join us on the patio for a glass of wine, while I was dressed. But she has been far less enthusiastic about the idea of going out, for example, or shopping or suggesting outfits. And more recently she pulled back even more, asking that I "take a break" from dressing for a while.

    We went to a gender counselor - first her, then the two of us, and it really did seem to help, but we're sticking with the break for the moment. Just too many things going on in her life beside my stuff (work, kids, parents). I thought it best to let those other factors calm down before we try to reboot.
    Our only truth is narrative truth, the stories we tell each other and ourselves, the stories we continually recategorize and refine. Such subjectivity is built into the very nature of memory. Oliver Sacks

  3. #3
    Member Mistyjo's Avatar
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    Hi Kevyn
    It sounds like you have a great relationship with your wife and thats a ture blessing
    My wife is also very accepting she told me that if i wanted to dress everyday she was fine with it i dont because of work but its nice to know that i could she has also bought me makeup and we have gone shopping together both en-femme and drab. She taught me how to apply my makeup and i really like when she does my makeup for me
    Mistyjo

  4. #4
    Member biggirlsarah's Avatar
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    My wife is also very accepting, probably verging on encouraging, although she knew about Sarah before she ever met Colin, we got introduced by a mutual friend who's home I used to go to and get dressed (my previous wife would not accept), so my dressing was never an issue, I have said before I am truly blessed, she buys me clothes, She was out with a friend shopping and saw a top she commented to her friend "Oh that is so Sarah, she will absolutely love it ", it doesn't matter when she comes home whether I am male or female, we go shopping together, we go to the beauty parlour and have our legs waxed together, she does my hair for me, which i really enjoy, when I ask if I look alright, she says " I wouldn't let you out the house if you didn't " again I am truly blessed.

  5. #5
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    More than I can reasonably expect. An occasional compliant on my dress or a gift of jewelry or clothing.

  6. #6
    Silver Member stephNE's Avatar
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    I agree- a girl's day out with the SO makes me the happiest of all the things I do.
    Stephanie

  7. #7
    Careful I bite <3
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    My SO was trying very hard at first, pulled back very hard for a long time, and after "outing" me to my mom, has become more accepting. Personally I still don't feel full support though, but part of that may be that while she's been more accepting again, we've both been very busy overall.

    She has been willing to accept the fact that I like it when she takes over in bed sometimes, even though I love to drive her wild sometimes too. She's even also opened up more sexually to tell me a bit more of what she likes when I'm the one doing the work.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Princess Grandpa's Avatar
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    I won the wife lottery. I broke a date to my senior prom in order to be able to go with her. This year we celebrated our 30th anniversary. Last year when I came to understand these needs in me she not only accepted it but has pushed me to stretch my comfort level. While at the same time making sure I understood that I shouldn't do anything that makes me too uneasy.

    When all this started it was fine "but I don't want to give up time with my man". Well her man is gone replaced with this man woman hybrid thing I've come to realize I am. As we discuss our situation she continues to support, encourage, and push me. We have discussed the question "what if we found a cure" and she is most adamant that she would be very sad to see this part of our lives fade. She gets antsy and irritable days before I do if it goes too long between appearances of Rita.

    Hug
    Rita
    A person should wear what he likes to. And not just what other folks say. A person should be who she likes to. A person's a person that way!
    ~Marlo Thomas~

  9. #9
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    You and I are SO very lucky. I probably won the wife lottery when many of us did. It's almost too good. I can do whatever I want. I do however do what it takes to protect her from any perceived embarrassment. Heck, her family knows about me and there have been no repercussions whatsoever. I just limit my CDing to only her presence.

    Cheryl

  10. #10
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    My wife is also accepting to a point or a "red line". After nine years of dressing probably 20/7, wig, bra, etc, the red line is toe nail polish and lipstick. Her comment is that "men don't wear lipstick". I accept her feelings even though I don't quite understand them. So I guess I'm still in the closet when it comes to my nails and lips.
    We shop together for underthings, dresses, etc. She will pick out a dress or skirt that she thinks I will like. The bad part about shopping together, is that for every one item I buy, she buys three or four. That must be why she goes shopping with me. All in all, my wife is pretty good about my cding.
    Last edited by LARIE; 07-16-2014 at 03:05 PM.

  11. #11
    Member traci_k's Avatar
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    Treasure those gals. Zero acceptance.
    Traci Melissa Knight


    To thine own self be true
    When the student is ready, the teacher will appear

  12. #12
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I'm lucky enough to have full acceptance and assistance.
    We share clothes, style advice, I do her eyebrows and suggest makeup advice (she wears little, a natural beauty) and the other day she asked me for suggestions for jewelry for an upcoming wedding we're attending. She's going to borrow mine while I get to be "drab for a day".
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  13. #13
    Senior Member Eringirl's Avatar
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    Interesting question. Thanks to all who have replied to date for your honesty. I many ways, I am very jealous. On the one hand, my wife is awesome. Fun to be with, we laugh a lot, have many things in common and have raised two incredibly successful and happy daughters. BUT....you know that was coming....she is not tolerant of Erin at all. I almost lost everything when I did come out to her. It frighten her too much...she didn't know what CD meant or why I did it, and didn't really want to know. She is very black and white on somethings, and this is one of them. She is extremely tolerant of lifestyle choices made by others, just not for me I guess. Her family background is military, clear roles, clear expectations, very traditional. They think they are liberal, but they aren't. I, on the other hand, blur lines easily. I do all the cooking, most of the grocery shopping, house work, work full time, plus other jobs. However, I am not a "handyman" (or should that be "handy gurl" ). Power tools and me are just an insurance claim waiting to happen. But I am expected, as the "male" to mow the lawn, which I hate doing, shovel snow, which I hate doing, and other repairs, which I hate doing. Certainly not my preference for sure. I am the one that breaks down when one of our girls had issues (one broke her back when she was 11 (I was a mess), the other received death threats in high school, cops caught them though). Don't mess with me when it comes to protecting my girls - I get like a big ol' mama bear !! I get weepy when they are leaving after being home for a visit...My wife is very strong, maybe because I am not, so she does it to be strong for me???

    So, it has been an interesting ride for sure. I do what I can to keep Erin's spirit alive, and try to contribute and assist other gurls when I can.

    My two cents (Canadian) worth!

    Erin

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member LeannS's Avatar
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    You are so lucky to have an SO that accepts and helps you.
    I could only wish that mine did.
    We get along great and have a great time together and even shop for her clothes.
    But not for me.

    Leann

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Lady Catherine's Avatar
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    I don't feel she accepts 100%, but she tries and we talk and she never puts me down. She's growing with the idea instead of against it.
    I know enough to know I don't know enough.

    Peace

  16. #16
    Member devida's Avatar
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    My wife completely accepts me as being transgender but that does't mean she doesn't have opinions. She tells me if I wear bras, blouses, or skirts she doesn't like, or if she thinks my make up is unsubtle. She doesn't mind me having small tits but she objects to my being too busty. I actually consider her the expert at presenting non male, though to tell the truth she is sometimes so butch that I have a better idea of femininity! Her opinions aren't a problem. I am learning what it means to be non binary and so is she. It's a discussion which we both find interesting and exciting. I do, given the responses I see on this forum, feel incredibly fortunate. My wife turned 70 this year. How cool is it that she is so open and supportive?

  17. #17
    Junior Member Dann12's Avatar
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    More than I accept myself.....thank you for sharing Kevyn65.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    totally 100%

  19. #19
    Member VAWyman's Avatar
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    Not one bit. If she finds any of my clothes they get thrown in a dumpster across town

  20. #20
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    I am very lucky also that my wife fully accepts Melinda. It was a little slow at first, but once we got past all the "usual questions" it has been great. She has no problem with my dressing and even encourages it. She shops for things for me and even likes to due my makeup somtimes. She even suggested and did shave my body lol.

  21. #21
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    I just told my boyfriend a few weeks ago that I like to wear girls clothes sometimes, and that it can be a turn on for me. I am normally the sexually dominant one, and neither of us is in any way a stereotypical "queen", so he wasn't really excited about it. That being said, he could tell that I was feeling ashamed and embarassed and vulnerable, and he never put me down. It's just sorta "meh" to him. I haven't dressed in front of him yet. I'm probably going to start with some fairly tame panties as a sort of "come-on", and see how he feels. As a bonus, he loves the fact that he knows all of my secrets, and I know we are closer because of it.Overall, i feel good about telling him.

    Much the same as the wives i'm reading about, he doesn't want to lose "his man". He has nothing to worry about when it comes to that- I just love to pretend sometimes, and I want him to come play with me. I'm optimistic about the future.

  22. #22
    Member Nadya's Avatar
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    I'm lucky enough to have a fiancé that takes me out for stuff like that. We've been shopping for me while I was in drab several times since I came out to her. I still have some shame to deal with since I can get embarrassed easily when she tries to pick stuff out for me (subtly) with people around. Glad to hear of your positive relationship.

  23. #23
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    My wife seems to be slowly getting more accepting. She doesn't seem concerned with panties any more. I haven't usually done much more around her though. I'm too embarrassed.

  24. #24
    Making a life for Tina! suchacutie's Avatar
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    My wife and I discovered Tina together just after our 32nd wedding anniversary. We named her together and my wife has, literally, been teaching Tina what it is like to grow up as a girl. She treats Tina as a girlfriend at all times, really considering us two separate personalities. It couldn't be more perfect.

  25. #25
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    When we were first married and before a child there was "bedroom play" with nylon nightgowns and garter belts & hosiery. When it became evident I was going further into cross dressing my wife was turned off. She could not understand why a guy would want to wear a bra when he has nothing to stuff into it. She was completely turned off. She was uncomfortable even watching "Tootsie." It's DADT. I don't know if she is aware of the extent of my wardrobe. She has not made any comments for many years, which is OK. But, it would be nice to have an accepting and supportive wife, but, alas, it will never be. Frankly, now.. I would probably decline any invitation to be en femme in front of her. After so many decades it would be really strange.

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