Tinkerbell one word for your last paragraph, " Amen " !
Both my wife and I had that upbringing ! I vowed I would never follow in my father's footsteps with my children !
My wife carries more baggage from her childhood,which is why she finds it more difficult to be open with my CDing ! but she is a good caring mother !
No, in general.. I don't think girls/women have it easier, especially looking at the world as a whole. In terms of women's rights, education possibilities (just going to school without someone throwing acid in a girl's face), career opportunities, equal pay, societal pressure to look good, having that monthly thing.. sheesh.. just reading this boggles my mind.
Of course, it would also be silly to deny that women have perks, but there's no question in my mind who drew the short straw.
1. So no, it should be obvious that I don't think that they have it easier.
2. I'm of the firm belief that whether we're CD/TG/TG/(whatever label suits you) is something you're born with. How that evolves and what the specific preferences are and will be, I think, are shaped by the environment and role models while growing up. Consequently, I don't think that whether one thinks women have it easier or not has ANY bearing on "starting" to crossdress.
3. Not really.. the only thing I can think of is having studied at my technical university with only 20% female students. There and then.. the women, IMHO, definitely had it easier with respect to dating and relationships. But I don't hold that against them.
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Hi Tink,Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG
I can't speak for others, but you hit my nail on the head when you refer to being comfortable in your own skin. That's really what is about for me.
... and Oh, BTW ... I've always preferred to pee sitting down when I can ... but yes, it is handy to pee standing up when I have to.... best of both worlds?
Thanks again for all of your thoughtful posts,
Claire
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Proud member of the Lacey Leigh Fan Club
We CDs obviously like women's clothes and some of us would like to have more of women's physical attributes. I guess I just love femininity but don't want the problems that are exclusive to females. Although I have ideas and theories, I don't know why I had an interest in wearing fem clothes at an early age. But I think part of it was wanting to be sexy.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
Well, Tinkerbell, I know a woman who has been married twice, and during both marriages she’s been physically, mentally, and emotionally abused. She’s now working two jobs to make ends meet, somehow supporting seven people all by herself. Despite this, she still manages to smile and not hate ALL men…
So, NO, I don’t think life is easier for women, if that’s what you’re getting at…
But here again, is the assumption that a woman gets to choose any guy she wants. It doesn't work out that way. Sure, she can find someone to move in with that will well, support her, but TAKE CARE of her? She doesn't get to choose exactly how he will take care of her, or how much she will have to do things that she doesn't want to do in order to be 'taken care of'. Also, yes, a woman can go out on any night and get laid; but it's probably not going to be with a guy she wants to do it with, not the way she wants to do it, and not with the end result (a relationship) that she wants. Most men ignore this. Remember, guys, that YOU TOO can have sex any time you want, as long as you aren't choosy about who it is with, or how the sex goes; just get arrested, go to prison and bend over to get the soap. Then you too can get all the sex you want, just like all those women, but it won't be with who you want to do it with, or the way you want to do it. But you can get sex.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
What a great post!
Hugs,
Persephone.
"If you are living the life you want to live you've successfully transitioned to being the person you want to be." - Eryn.
"If you truly care about me you should damn well want for me what I want for myself" - Michael Westen (Burn Notice)
-.-. --.-/-.-. --.-/-.-. -../ Persephone™ and Persephone™ are trademarks of Persephone herself, accept no substitutes. The terms "en femme" and "en drab" originated with Marcia Sampson/Staylace (OBM).
No, never have. My first deliberate exploration of cross-dressing had to do with knowing that it was harder (in the society of that day) to be female, and my wanting to develop an appreciation for what it was like for women to have to live that way.
It's not easy be a man or a woman. Same quantity of sufferings -- different genders. That's all.
I'm reminded of a famous speech:
Getting dressed and going out isn't quite comparable to going to the moon, but it isn't easier than going out in male mode. It's a challenge, a goal, and something that is worth doing....and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard, because that goal will serve to organize and measure the best of our energies and skills, because that challenge is one that we are willing to accept, one we are unwilling to postpone, and one which we intend to win...
Eryn
"These girls have the most beautiful dresses. And so do I! How about that!" [Kaylee, in Firefly] [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
"What do you care what other people think?" [Arlene Feynman, to her husband Richard]
"She's taller than all the women in my family, combined!" [Howard, in The Big Bang Theory]
"Tall, tall girl. The woman could hunt geese with a rake!" [Mary Cooper, in The Big Bang Theory]
girls have my utmost respect (and envy). its so easy to be a guy. since i began cross dressing i never complain to my wife about taking to long to get ready!!
This is a very charged topic and the answer, I don't think, is straightforward.
But in the end, I think it depends on what you want from your life. Men have it easier in terms of career-building, independence, appearance, and leadership roles. I think if you are the ambitious type, it would be much easier to be the male. On the other hand, women have fewer societal demands and expectations, are more free to express themselves emotionally and in appearance, are generally treated with more sympathy and compassion, and can take a more "passive" role in society without being admonished for being lazy. In general, I think the male privileges are better, but maybe that's because I've only ever experienced life from one side. In my field (tech), it is without a doubt better to be male. However, the world becomes more egalitarian by the day, and soon it won't matter whether you're male or female.
If females had it better across the board I would probably have transitioned at some point, but it's never that easy! Personally, I'd love to be able to pick and choose the best qualities, and I think that summarizes my gender role perfectly. I'm more male than female, but I definitely have a female side that needs to express herself every now and then!
That being said, all the time I've spent dressing myself up have given me some SERIOUS appreciation for what women go through. You can never truly understand what the other side feels until you experience it yourself...
I see a lot of good responses here, so I'll keep mine fairly short
1) No, I don't think it's easier to be a girl. There are pros and cons to both genders. One of the perks of being transgendered is you get to cherry pick the parts you like. I will say that I think I personally would have had a lot less emotional turmoil if I was born a girl. My sensitive nature would not have been a source of ridicule in school, my love of soft fabrics could have been openly expressed, I could have started ballet at a young age without fear of being labeled an outcast, etc. But I will readily admit that I benefited a lot from male privilege.
2) I did not choose to be this way.
3) I don't think anyone influenced me to crossdress. My mom taught me to treat women with respect. I have this theory that maybe I felt that it was so wrong to objectify women that at a young age I started to objectify their clothing. But, I don't think that's my complete story, because I've always been a bit effeminate. It isn't just a fetish for me.
1)No
2)No
3)No
But I do certainly believe that women are superior, but I would not to be one. The superiority of women derives from their biological and psychological complexity and subtlety, but there are also problems with this complexity that I am sure any woman knows. About the only thing I like about being genetically male is the relative biological simplicity of the male body. I can't say the same about the psychological simplicity of men.
1) Do you think it's easier being a girl? No.
2) And do you think this is the reason (or one of) why you started dressing? No, but I wanted to find out what it was like to dress as a girl. So, is dressing as a girl "easier" than dressing as a boy (man)? Note that this is about dressing, not make-up, relationships, careers, etc.
Not necessarily. I soon found that at its simplest - panties, bra, easy dress, shoes (maybe not even the bra!) - dressing as a girl is easier and more comfortable than typical male casual dress. At the other end of the scale, choosing and getting into the right foundations (bra, girdle, shaper, etc), putting on stockings or tights, deciding on the right slip for the chosen dress and getting into the dress is definitely harder than the equivalent "smart" male clothes. Then there's the wearing of the clothes, perhaps all evening or all day..... A tight skirt can restrict movement; a loose one can blow in the wind; stockings or tights can tear or ladder; heels can slow down walking and be uncomfortable; bras and girdles can feel tight and there tends to be a more frequent need to make adjustments, for example, a slipping bra strap, wrinkled stockings, neckline out of place, etc.
I can now understand why, when I was young, girls looked forward to being allowed to wear "adult" clothes but soon found out the disadvantages, eventually, when they could, abandoning some of the more difficult clothes to make their lives easier and more comfortable. Crossdressers can experience the same contrasts whenever they like - and that is what attracted me, therefore....
3) Was there a particular female (females) in your life who inadvertently or otherwise influenced you to believe that women have it easier? No.
It is not easier being a girl. That said, I started dressing because I liked how it felt and made me look and I continued to expand my dressing and feminine expression. As I've done that I have more of an appreciation for what a woman goes through, particularly in getting ready for each day. While it is not easier it is more comforting and peaceful to me. I have no desire to transition as there are things I like about being a guy. That said I just enjoy letting my inner woman come out.
I think you know the answer to the first question. It's only easier being whoever you are, if you accept your position and status in life.
When I first wore an article of women's clothing it was one of my mother's full nylon slips. She hanged them to dry in the sole bathroom of the apartment. I loved the feel of the fabric. I had no desire to be a girl. Back in the day girls played boring sidewalk games and played with dolls, while the guys played baseball, football, basketball, all sorts of street games lost to the times. Being a girl was absolutely boring. The women I grew up with wiped their kids' butts, washed and cooked, cleaned and baked. Guys? The men went off to boring jobs as bakers, mechanics, postal workers, cops. I'd say both lived mundane lives.
Trade my blue jeans and tee shirts for frilly dresses? No way! Except for those slips. Darn, I wish my mother wore boring cotton slips.
I don't think either gender has it easier. both have their advantages and disadvantages.
Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned
Is it easier to be a woman than. A " normal" man ? Probably not , but would it be easier to be a girl and a M to F cd ?
I think there is a strong argument for yes !
Look at it this way. Make a list of everything you like to do as a male and every thing you like to do enfemme. And cross out all the things society frowns on you doing now. Then take same lists and cross off anything you couldn't do if yo were a GG. I bet you would be a lot happier with the second list. For example. There are 2 high school girls in my town that were the subject of an artical in the town news paper. They are both on the varcity base ball team ( and damn good players ) one takes auto shop the other wood shop and both compete in beauty pagents. Just a quick summary.
Point being they can do typical " guy things " and still be girly girls and they are praised for there versatility it not condemned for it.
Well that's my 2 cents
1. No I do not think it is easier being a girl
2. No, Because I believe it is because of prenatal development
3. No I don't think women are superior.
Women can take more pain then men because of child birth.
Men Have more muscles than women
Both sexes can die. Women in child birth and men in war as defined in physical gender roles.
Also the women can mess up the world as the men have messed up the world. Being human we all make mistakes.
AS for me, I would have preferred being born a woman.
Marilyn Monroe says "I don't mind living in a man's world, as long as I can be a woman in it".
and I wish I was born a woman
After reading and considering previous replies, my own observations and experiences........
No!
Work on your elegance,
and beauty will follow.
No, personally I don't think it is easier being a girl....maybe it is the idiom "the grass always looks greener in another pasture"....both genders have challenges and joys right? As for wearing feminine/masculine clothes I do prefer wearing pants than a skirt all the time and have done so for years....and yes it is more comfortable both physically and phsychologically. I am ME not a person placed in any other category as I have always refused to be put into categories or labelled nor has anyone done so. Life is for learning and is constantly presenting lessons to us...maybe one day I shall graduate from life...but at the moment I am enjoying the learning process....time to seize the day.
1) I highly doubt its easier being a female in any respect.
2) Since I don't believe its easier being female, there is no way the "easier-nest" of being female might have contributed to why I started dressing. I have no idea why I started dressing. Its just a desire I have from within.
3) I can't think of any woman who has ever suggested to me that females have it easier.
Now, if you want to talk about whether females have it better, that's another story.
Maybe not easier, but sometimes I think it's probably more fun. Of course that could depend on a lot of things.
Its not easy But I am happier as a girl and less withdrawn and happier .I come out as my real self as a girl
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