Change in thoughts on crossdressing

[susiecd13]

Hey ladies. When i first started crossdressing it was for a sexual purpose. I would enjoy getting dressed in pantyhose and heels and finding someone online to play with then I would be done with it and feel guilty. But lately, I find myself wanting to work on my make up and wanting to go out dressed as a woman and blending in as much as possible. I find myself thinking about wanting to look and feel like a woman and take pleasure in the actual process of making it happen. I still like the sexual part of dressing but it is not as important as it once was. Do any of you ladies out there relate to this.

Susie

[Chari]

Absolutely know that feeling Susie! First it was about fantasy, then it was a strong need of (confused) feelings. Now it is because I have accepted my feminine self, and need to present the best feminine image I can! Enjoy.

[Laura in NC]

I can sort of relate to this as well. Except for it was done for my wife so not really fully relate. I'm not saying I dressed only for sexual reasons, but more often than not it was. It was under her coaxing that led to just dressing for hanging out around the house. She has asked many times for me to dress and just go out to like a movie with her, but that's a road I haven't traveled yet.

[kimdl93]

For a lot of CDrs, sex is a principle motivator. I've always felt it was coincidental, none the less. We often dress long before we are consciously sexual, and for a time the two overlap. But I submit that everything us sexual to ten and young adult males. As we mature, the two behaviors tend to part company.

[Teresa]

Susie it is changing more like that for me now, dressing just feels so good ! Testosterone still keeps hitting me, I would have thought it would have dropped off more by now ! So it's more sexual then I would expect for my age ! I don't know what to expect once it does stop !

[Julie Denier]

The sexual element is definitely still there for me. But more and more lately, I just like refining my look and enjoying the comforting sensation of being fully dressed, head to toe

[CynthiaD]

It was never in the least bit sexual for me. It was and is a way to present myself to the world in the same way as I see myself inside.

[Crista]

It's more sensual than sexual for me now. I used to get very aroused by being fully dressed. Now I find myself curling up with a good book or just doing other very mundane things while dressed. I used to be obsessed with the mirror when dressed; now I hardly look.

[Nikki A.]

The more I dressed and especially when I started going out, it became less sexual. When it starts feeling right, it becomes more sensual rather than sexual.

[Kate Simmons]

If it works for you, that's the main thing Hon.

[Cheryl T]

Since I began pre-puberty it was not that way at first.
Then of course the hormones kicked in and that was another story. I went through that period of dressing, excitement, climax and guilt and although the guilt and shame was intense the wonderful feelings were more so.
Over the years that changed and now it is not sexually related at all. Originally I'd be steamy in short order, but now I've dressed for weeks and not felt that twinge. I think that since I have accepted myself, rid myself of that guilt and shame and come out fully to my wife it's allowed me to be at peace and enjoy my femininity with all the sexual baggage.
Of course that doesn't mean that I don't feel sexy when I dress a certain way, like my corset, nylons and heels, or a really pretty dress, but it's a feeling of "being sexy", not of "being sexual".

[Katey888]

Like others here Susie, there seems to be some similarity..

Pre-puberty - no, goodness knows why it started but it did...

Teenage through early adulthood - yep - seemed to be an alternate when not in a relationship...

Past few years to now - much less; still exciting, but not in a sexual way... well, not totally...

So yes, I relate...

Katey x

[Amanda L.]

Yes! yes! yes!
The sexual thrill of wearing something feminine along with the taboo of it all was an early motivator.
I agree with so much of what has been written here so far. There do seem to be some milestones we achieve along this continuum.
The feelings of denial, then guilt, then acceptance and embracement. ( please feel free to add other stops)
So the sexual context gives way to the sensuality of becoming a woman if only for a few short hours. I am at the point where I would love to go out just to exercise my female side, I think the inner girl is feeling cramped being confined to the house, and she is pushing hard to leave this safe haven
Amanda
X

[sometimes_miss]

Initially, I was crossdressed for someone else's sexual enjoyment, and during that time I learned to associate being crossdressed and behaving like a girl, with receiving affection, as it was the only time anyone touched me without beating me, but I still craved the time with him because I needed the physical contact (the sex was not enjoyable at all, but not real painful other than the first couple of episodes). I didn't have any sexual connection with being dressed up by myself until I was about 16, where I suppose the natural sexual drive made me horny no matter what I was wearing, so then I would occasionally wind up doing the solitary thing while dressed as a girl, even though that wasn't the initial reason I got dressed up. What was even stranger, was that I wound up associating being penetrated with the affection too, even though I didn't ever enjoy it. To this day, that feeling has never gone away. I kind of wonder how many others feel the desire for something, even knowing that it's going to be uncomfortable and not get any enjoyment from it. I find that odd. I do know that women can experience discomfort or pain on initial penetration but it gets better as intercourse goes on, but I never experienced anal as ever getting pleasurable, it was always uncomfortable. So the desire to 'be the girl' is sort of not connected to having sex as one. I don't know if any TS folks could comment on whether there is a connection to it if the intercourse is pleasurable. Perhaps someone else could chime in on that.

[docrobbysherry]

They both mean the same thing to me.

For me, when I'm dressed as Sherry at home? It's a rare session if I don't get turned on a few times.

However, when I'm out dressed? U can call it sexual, sensual, or silly salad. It never enters my mind!

[Nadya]

As weird as it may sound, I think of accepting crossdressing as kind like being reborn. You start off with little control over your impulses but as the novelty wears off, you mature and develop into someone much more substantial. I've been there and I'm sure there are many others like that when they started.

[njcddresser]

As a Teen I dabbled in Crossdressing, mostly just panties and it was always sexual. I came out to myself 9 months ago and it is generally non sexual. However with a sexy pair of stockings or beautiful lingerie it an still be sexual.

With that being said I do have a very strong fantasy of being seduced by a handsome man and being treated as a woman in the bedroom.

[Laura J]

Initially it was sexual, when I was in my mid 20s I guess. Now I have no more propensity to get turned on while dressed or while not.

[mariehart]

I would get aroused when I first started dressing but at that age I would get turned every five minutes for almost any reason. Even now it's not something that's always controllable. That thing has a mind of it's own.

Later all that died down but there could be a state of excitement, the fear of getting caught or nervous excitement when you're going to meet others while dressed.

Now it's mostly for relaxation, relaxation in a way I can only find when dressed. The way it removes the knot in my stomach which is a permanent reminder of my dysphoria.

I need to dress right now but can't.

[Marcelle]

Hi Susie,

As you can see your story is very similar to many who have moved from the sexual plain to the "feels good" plain to the "feels right" plain. If I was to venture a guess, as you explore Susie more (experiment with make-up, dressing complete) she is beginning to be integrated into your identity (no not a split personality thing but more how you identify part of you). It is not uncommon to want to push the boundaries and allow her into the light. Will you ever not feel it is a sexual thing, possibly but I think each person is going to be different. For me it has never been or is about sexual relief, it is just about being.

I say explore and enjoy.

Hugs

Isha

[Tina B.]

I started dressing at around 6 with no thought to sexual, but of course as a teenage boy everything was a turn on, including dressing. In my mid twenties it stopped being so sexual, and started to be about the clothes and the time in them. From dressing for an hour or two, as I had when younger, I started only dressing when I could spend a whole day or more dressed, the more time I spent dressed, the less it became about sex, and the more it became about the feelings inside. And the real bonus, when it stopped being about sex, the feelings of guilt stopped too. I found I needed to dress, because that's just who I am, and it's the clothes I feel best wearing, and I'm not going to beat myself up for being who I am, I like me.

[Jonithan]

I kind of wonder how many others feel the desire for something, even knowing that it's going to be uncomfortable and not get any enjoyment from it. I find that odd.

Not so odd, I like to call it going to work. Sorry, I totally get this. I too would go through the stages of arousal and guilt and shame. Then like some kind of CD menopause, a switch flips. It's centering, almost meditative. Or perhaps I'm just numb to the guilt.

Joni

[Emme]

Not so odd, I like to call it going to work. Sorry, I totally get this. I too would go through the stages of arousal and guilt and shame. Then like some kind of CD menopause, a switch flips. It's centering, almost meditative. Or perhaps I'm just numb to the guilt.

Joni

Have you noticed, that around age 40+- we "grow up" We accept ourselves. I was liberating. 10 years after acceptance I was able to convince the spouse that it makes a better me. Now at 70, we don't do the deed very often, but she will lay her head on my breast when we embrace and often say a kind word about how I look. We shop together, and I say Emme and her wife get better with age.

[AnneC]

I think that is where I am right now. I just enjoy the process and trying to look as good as possible.

[BethanyAnn]

I started dressing at age 3 when my mom and aunt would dress my cousin (gg) and I in cute dresses and just let us play. It obviously wasn't sexual. That stopped when I was 6 (I cried alot), but then I resumed dressing on my own at age 8. Still not sexual.

It didn't turn sexual until I was 13. I snuck out at midnight after the family was a sleep in makeup, hose, slip, dress, and heels. I went for a walk down the street and when returning my knees buckled and I almost fell down. I had no idea what happened at the time, but the excitement of being "out" and the gentle breeze blowing my dress and the feel of a satin slip rubbing against my pantyhosed legs must have been too much. LOL. That's when it turned sexual and I didn't even know what an orgasm was! LOL.

Now in my mid to late 30's, it's rarely sexual by myself anyway, but I do primarily have sex with men while presenting as female. Still, most of my time outside of work is spent as a woman, so I guess you could say I'm comfortable with myself as a woman, moreso than as a man. Yet, I don't feel drawn toward transitioning. Anyone else feel similarly?

Bethany