Still trying to figure it all out

[Tina_Someday]

Hello I am on my quest to figure out if I really want to transition. I have been doing more thinking. Now I know sexuality is suppose to be seperate but to some extent it has some play in the whole picture. So on sexuality I have a question. I as I said before when I am on the streets I look at woman and get that wow wow teenage boy thing thinking she is so so hot. The new thing that crossed my mind is I think wow she is hot but I have never think I want her to be my girlfriend or I want to have sex with her. Now in order to climax I have to think about being with a man but I have to be a woman. Then the new par on that I realized is I have never in my life climaxed thinking about sex with a woman it has always been me being a woman with a man. I don't even bother to try anyways. Now to each is own but I find the thought of me being a guy with another guy turns my stomach plus there is no way in the world if I was with another man would i would never give him anal sex nor would I let him touch my penis. Now I have read her "I believe" that somebodys Therapist told asked them one determining question they ask is if when having sex do they imagine that they are the female. I of course do this all the time.

The emotional part-- I have read to ask yourself if you could be female with a snap of a finger would you become one. My answer to that is a 110 perent yes! I know when I am acting tough when I have to it is not really me it's just a act that is not really in me. I am very emotional or at least i think for a male. I cry easier than most males. I am very compasionate like woman are suppose to be. I don't remember wanting to be a girl when I was little. The only thing I remember when I was fairly young was wanting to play with my sister and her barbie dolls and I guess I knew at that time my dad would be mad about it so I made my sister promise to not tell him. In Kindergaten I remember not playing with anybody nether the boys or girls I would just walk around by myself until the teacher made me play with the boys. I never played sports or watch it just never liked it at all.

Dressing I never really do nor do I have the feeling of wanting/having to. I have been wearing makeup on my days off. I did wear some womans clothes when I was younger.

[DonnaT]

You probably should hash all this out with a qualified gender and sexology therapist.

When you were a child, did you ever think you should have been born a girl?

Did/do you hate having male organs?

Your getting off on your fantasies seems to lend to your confusion. Sometimes, paraphilia's can do that. Transvestic fetishism is a paraphilia.