Is What I See What They See?

[deebra]

When I'm getting ready to run errands during the day such as WalMart, the mall, post office I dress with panties, bra, hose, fairly tight boot cut girl jeans, boots with a 3'' heel that I wear under my jeans and an androgynous top. The jeans are long and cover just about all of the boot, the heel tapers down to a 1 1/2" sole so it's not a stiletto spike heel. When I'm through dressing I look in the full length mirrow and am very pleased with the way I look and it feels so good to wear these clothes, walk in heels and shop dressed as a woman. I feel like I have dressed to blend and not look like a man in women's clothes. Some previous posts say the public when shopping is on a mission and they only see what they are there for, others say women pick up on the smallest thing out of the ordinary, then there are people that enjoy watching other people. I definitely don't want to be made, outed or gauked at or made fun of. So how does the public see me????????

[CynthiaD]

There's only one way to find out. Try it and see. Even if you're instantly clocked, it's unlikely you'll be gawked at or made fun of. I've been treated like a lady on most of my outings, and I imagine the same will happen to you.

[DeeArel]

The public is generally not attuned to others around them. However, there are some that like to people watch. Walk with good posture and your head up. Scan the crowd. Make eye contact and smile. This will break the stares that some may give you and lessen the chance that you are outed and prevent gawking. If you are dressed tastefully, some will continue to glance so as to enjoy the "eye candy."

[sandra-leigh]

I don't know if I am ever not "made", but for me it is now months between obvious negative reactions (and I am 24/7).

Last obvious negative reaction I got was a wordless yell from a passing commercial van. In the days before I ever went out dressed, the same kind of people would yell "fag" at me. It's more about Power than about being trans.

If you want to be certain that no-one notices that you were born male, then don't go outside. Ever. People with sufficient experience with trans people might notice small signs even if you have had FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery.)

Getting "made" (as you phrase it) is not the same thing as being gawked at or made fun of.

[Beverley Sims]

Take a photo of yourself and give it a long lasting and critical look.

[kimdl93]

Being read or gawked at do not hurt...and mostly you'll be unaware when either happens. People generally keep their observations to themselves.

[Jenniferathome]

Deebra, the truth is, the public does see you. They just don't care

[Nadine Spirit]

I think in our society anything more than a glance becomes gawking. Honestly, I have never been gawked at. I know this now. My wife broke her leg last year and during her recovery and was very obviously broken, people gawked. I had never seen people so "slack jawed and drooling!" Not everyone, but lots of people openly staring. It was very eye opening to see what it felt like to be stared at.

Lots of people tell me how lucky I must be because I so totally pass all the time, which is so totally not true! The only thing I think I might "pass" with is what I call the glance test. I don't look out of place or interesting enough for people to take a long look at me. Most people glance my way and then look away and go about their business. And I will take it!

Face to face, I am convinced that 100% of the people know I am absolutely a dude! (my wife disagrees) but regardless, 99.999999% of people really don't care.

[lingerieLiz]

I tend to agree with Jennifer that most people see you, but don't care or notice. While I wear women's clothes and wear bras most of the time, no one should see your panties, only a few notice (or say anything). Of those who have said something it is very rare a negative comment. I've even talked and helped women looking next to me in the lingerie section. I don't pretend to be a woman, but I don't hide either. I wear jeans and shorts most of the time.

One thing to consider is that women's heals tend to make more noise on some floors. I have a pair of boots that sound like a flamingo dancer stomping her heals. People look to see where the sound is coming from.

[carhill2mn]

Most of the "public" sees only what they are expecting to see. Unless you do something to draw attention to yourself, they will take a quick glance and go about their business. As was mentioned earlier most will not care.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Deebra, Most people are so wrapped up in their own little world that they probably don't even give you a second look.

[Desirae]

From all of the reading I have done on these forums, and there's been a lot of it, it seems that most get read, at least once in a while, except maybe the VERY few lucky ones.

Also, from the reading I have done on this site, it seems to me, if you really want to know how well you pass, that you should visit a "Chuck E Cheese", or some similar "kid themed" venue, and see how well you do amongst the kiddie crowd. I'm only mentioning that because of the many stories I've read regarding children and being read. It should give you an accurate idea of how ell you're doing, if you really want that accurate of an idea.

[GailNightshade]

I've been gawked and stared at but they almost always break contact once you look at them.
I've never been called a "fag" but i have been "wolf whistled" a few times.
Be confident and most people will leave you be even if they may snicker, just keep going.

Don't do what Desirae suggests. just..don't.

[Krisi]

If you're going to Walmart you'll fit in just fine.
You've asked a question here but you haven't provided enough information for a reliable answer. Post some photos and you might get better answers. Guessing, based on your description only, I would guess people will think you are gay.

[Eringirl]

"Beauty is about confidence" (Charlotte Le Bon, former Paris model and actress in the recently released movie "One Hundred Foot Journey" staring Helen Mirren and produced by Stephen Spielburg.)

'Nough said.

Erin

[mariehart]

Take a video of yourself. There's nothing as revealing as a video if you see a woman then you've got it right. If not well?

[Karen_Ski]

To m the real question here is it important that they see what you see? I have seen a lot of girls out over the years and some never get a glance they blend in so well, some get looks because they are gorgeous, some get looks because they are most obviously male. That last one can mean many things from beards showing, inappropriate attire or they just plainly look like a guy in a dress. Be proud of who and what you are and enjoy yourself and let them see what they want to see.

[mechamoose]

It sounds like you are very conscious of your look.

Be confident, and it should be fine.

<3

- MM

[Wildaboutheels]

As long as you have overcome the omnipotent HOAS disease, most people will not notice or care what you are wearing. Of course micro minis with 6" heels and/or spiked purple or orange hair are best to avoid in most situations. The "sharper" folks WILL care how you interact with and treat them. And, [IMO] it's just plain silly to worry about what the UNsharp people might think or say because nothing is going to change their closed little minds.

HOAS [Head On A Swivel]

And Humans in general and CDers in particular are usually their own worst enemy.

[grace7777]

As others have said, most people are to wrapped up in their own lives to notice you. If you dress to blend in then your chances of getting read decrease. If you go out enough, there will likely be times you are made or gawked at, and on rare occasions someone maybe make a stupid comment, but do not let that discourage you. You are not doing anything wrong.

[Ginger Jameson]

I recently started going out dressed, sometimes with forms and sometimes without. Only once did I wear makeup and a wig (that stuff takes forever! ). It wouldn't really matter, though. I don't have a feminine face and the laser hair removal hasn't done its magic yet.

I get a lot of stares. People point. Some people laugh. It used to terrify me that it would happen. Nowadays I laugh along with them. Or rather I laugh, too. I don't actually engage with anyone who's laughing at me. I'm a 6'2" guy with tits, a sparkly necklace, and clearly female clothing. If people didn't stare I'd wonder what sort of Twilight zone I'd fallen into.

I realized somewhere along the way that I'm not out there for them, I'm out there for me. There's nothing I can do to change how anyone is going to feel about a guy with boobs walking through Walmart. The world is changing, and eventually that won't be a big deal. But for now it's how things are.

Nobody has yet said anything to me that wasn't encouraging, and that's pretty rare. When it happens it makes my day. My wife and I went out on her birthday last week and I went the whole nine yards. A lady stopped me in line at the sushi buffet to give me a "you go girl." It was amazing and has lifted my spirits all week. I actually get more comments (positive and negative) when I'm out completely male except for my painted toes poking out of my sandals. I've gotten everything from "I like your toes" to "did you lose a bet?"

It probably helps that I'm a tall guy. I don't know if I'd get more people being rude to me if I were shorter. I live deep in the heart of Texas, replete with Good ol' Boys, Southern Baptists, and Family Values (where "family" = "straight"). So it's likely that I would, but maybe not. The world really is changing.

When you go, and hopefully you will eventually, try to take it all in stride. The people that stare don't know you. They aren't judging you personally. They're shocked by a social more being blatantly ignored. That they're staring means they never learned proper manners for that occasion, it doesn't mean that you're a freak who draws stares.

[devida]

So I wear a lot of women's clothes in public. I am not trying to pass. I am just me. Most people pay no attention. The ones that do: smile, look puzzled or look interested as if they are wondering if they could wear that too. Very very infrequently someone stares. This is so unusual that I wonder what could be the matter with them.

I live in a little seaside town filled with retired folk. They do not care. Younger people care even less.

[Kate Simmons]

When girls and women wear the clothes they do, they are highlighting the woman within. We can do that too although we basically have the create the "woman within" to highlight. The skill is to make it look like the real deal.