Do you feel comfortable enough dressing around SO

[Sissyboy2]

Im sorry if this has already been posted, there are so many threads.

If your SO said she didn't really care what you would wear as long as I didn't come to bed (intercourse/cuddling) dressed, how would you take it.
My wife told me that and I am glad she knows but I would feel uncomfortable dressing around her. It's almost like I would rather just dress by myself even if she gave me the semi green light. I like to wear panties around her but anything else I would feel too uncomfortable. Where if I herd her wake up then I would quickly remove the items.

I also just wanted to add how much of a difference a wig makes WOW. I posted a thread the other day about not feeling feminine enough but man a wig changes anything. I hadn't worn a wig in probably over 6 years till tonight. It felt so amazing, and happy. I smiled like I have never seen myself do before, and I felt so pretty. It was a weird feeling because it felt like a smile I had never done before. I had a wig that went down to about my shoulders that had blonde highlights within it. I'm sorry to ramble, I just never felt so beautiful before being the linebacker body that I have. I had to take it off because I felt like I would have liked it too much.

[mariehart]

Well my wife has made it clear she doesn't want to see to see me dressed at the moment. But I would like to be able to dress around her unselfconsciously. Already I wear panties 24/7 . However they are plain as she doesn't like the more effem types on me.
My ideal is that it becomes a big non issue for both of us.

As for wigs, yes they do make a big difference. My lovely and expensive wig eas thrown out just after marrying. Sigh!

[noeleena]

Hi.

A good opening for myself here..ya ya....... said it all before.

Do i feel comfortable being in womens clothes.

this will depend on how im dressed and where i am .because of my background going back some few 100 years my people German wore garb -clothes that i feel right at home in , just something there not sure i can explain it the clothes are more in keeping with my facial features and with 250 others around you im at home . now i do wear those same clothes over sea,s and travel on plane,s the outfit i like is my wench garb - ,

i did wear my wigs at different times though stayed with one style though changed to my other one as i was told i should, for 11 years , now not any more after having headaches i gave up the only time is with another group Edwardian and its only at thier request i do and short times ,

other wise no way , you are right it does and can make a big difference to how you look in my case not really though others will say different ,

.one comment youv made is interesting to me ,
you just never felt so beautifull before so ill take that as being dressed and makeup and your wig on , yes ill concede i would have to say most dressers do look rather lovely,

For my self i dont fall into that class , as youll see in my photo to the left.<<< any way some of us dont my body is just right and looks right iv no issues there none,

i do get dressed up and can look quite good say at Balls or big events or our normal do,s yet never feel right so i keep my clothes quite plain so it does not make me look stupid as my facial features are very masculine in looks so i have to be carefull as i do get embarrist of my look.. i should not yet i do ,

And just enjoy your self

...noeleena...

[Teresa]

Siss.,
I posted a thread in loved ones titled, " Wife wants to see the girl, "
I question in that what level would you be comfortable with your partner. I think most would eventually accept the guy in a dress look, which is the state most CDers dislike !

Your comment about the wig is so true, to me it's when the guy finally disappears !!

[Danielle Gee]

SISSY: I know exactly what you are feeling. It took me a year or more of dressing 2-3 times a week before I was comfortable. The nutty things is that my wife never showed the slightest preference of preferring my male persona or my female. It used to drive me crazy that she would treat Danielle exactly like Dan until I realized they were both the same person...........She just saw it long before I did.

After being out to her for many years now, I'm beginning to understand that in most cases acceptance comes from within, THEN from other people.

To quote one of my favorite songs " How you gonna believe somebody till you believe yourself"

Danielle

[Kate Simmons]

When we were preparing to go to the club to dance together for the first time a while back my GF was right there with me and watched me put on my clothes and makeup and had no problem with it as she knew it was me. As soon as I put on my wig, however, it made a world of difference. She was taken back a bit and said it made me look like an entirely different person.Now she is used to it but that first time was a bit of a shocker I guess.

[Denise1951]

My wife is fine with me dressing around her. In fact, yesterday after a day in the wood shop, I got dressed in my new wig, new slip and bra. She complimented me on it, and my make up. (I am still learning) She knows that when she is out of town, I stay in girl mode longer. I am the one who is still a bit uneasy about it. It took me about seven or eight years to dress in front of her. (maybe once or twice a month.) That being said, I go easy with it. She understands the 'pink fog' and supports me 100 per cent.

[EllenJo]

My wife is very comfortable with me dressing around her and will even tells me to go get my girl on if I am just lounging around. It actually was harder for me to walk out of the bedroom dressed in front of her that I ever thought it would be. I had underdressed for years and she had no problem with it but she had always preferred not to see me dressed. Then about a year and a half ago she told me that she no longer had a problem with my dressing and wanted to see me. She did ask that I not wear a wig and make up. As some have said here that might make her man go away and she is not ready for that yet. I remember standing in the bedroom for the longest time wearing pantyhose, a pretty skirt with a blouse and flats. I had to work up the courage to walk out in front of her for the first time. She kept asking me if I was ever going to come out and I eventually did. Her reaction was positive and she even commented on the fact that i had good taste in women's clothes. She said that she wished I would add more color to my male wardrobe. Now she sees me all of the time, I wear skirts and blouses around the house whenever I am home. Recently when I purchased a very frilly blouse, I waited several days before I wore it in front of her. I am very aware of the pink fog and don't want to go over board. When she did finally see it she asked me to get her one like it.

Sorry for going on so long but the point is that once an SO gives that long awaited approval, we seem to find that our own level of acceptance of ourselves is now the issue. Maybe that is because we have become so comfortable in the closet that as much as we want out it is us that stops at the door.

Hugs
Ellen Jo

[Taylor186]

I don't mind being fully dressed in front of my wife but I always want to be alone when getting dressed. I don't like being partially dressed in front of her (bra, forms, makeup, jewelry, etc) while still presenting, mostly, as a male. That said, I wear briefs and shorts and occasionally tights from the women's department all summer long and don't think a thing about it. For me, it's almost like wearing women's briefs and shorts is not really crossdressing.

[CynthiaD]

I dress in front of my wife, and I get dressed in front of my wife. I'm comfortable being dressed in front of just about anyone. These are just my clothes.

[Julie 29]

If the SO has no problems at all then I totally would. Seeing that I'm comfortable with myself.

Take care, Julie

[Raychel]

I totally know how you feel, We were at the same position here for a while.
Since my wife has changed and totally accepts me dressed. I am free to dress whenever I want, and she is
cool with it, Our kids know as well. it took time, actually took years to get to this point, but the big key is we got there.

live with your and her comfort zones. hopefully you will get there someday as well.
maybe not, either way, enjoy you life and respect your wife and her wishes.

[Cheryl T]

When I first came out to her and dressed for her the first time I was a nervous wreck. I had all these thoughts about her reaction and her feelings and such. Then it happened and she was fine, but I was still scared and worried.
It took a few years to really get comfortable. At first when we would go out to a Tri-Ess meeting or shopping together and I was dressing I didn't want her to see the process, only the end result. That was my fear and still a bit of the shame and guilt of all those years hiding in the closet stopping me from being comfortable. Now when we dress we mostly do it together. It's just like two girl friends dressing to go out. We help each other select outfits, suggest makeup style and even share clothing. I'm no longer afraid to be me with her and I love her even more for helping me get to this point.

So, yes, I dress in front of her and I get dressed in front of her without a thought now.
As for the other statement. I have worn only panties for the last 10 years. She actually suggested that I wear a nightgown to bed if I wished and I do every night. As for cuddling and such...not a problem. If things proceed then neither one of us is wearing anything so there is never an issue.

[pam1962]

I told my wife about Pam about 6 months after we started dating, but she didn't "meet" Pam until after we were married. My wife realized Pam was a part of me, and although she wasn't completely comfortable with the situation, we established some rules and boundaries that allowed Pam to express herself regularly in her presence. Once our daughter was born, Pam quietly slipped back into the closet, (by mutual consent) only to appear occasionally. Now that my daughter is in college, Pam has returned and the wife has agreed that seeing Pam once or twice a week when she gets home from work is ok (but never in bed).

Like most other facets of our "other self", the first step is how you feel about yourself and your comfort level about being seen. Just keep in mind that once you have made that decision to share your femme side with your wife in person, even though she says she is ok with it, there is no way to know what her initial reaction is going to be until it happens. You are naturally going to be in a state of apprehension about what her reaction is going to be. We all want acceptance and affirmation, but that's probably not going to happen first time out. (If it does, get down on your knees, thank the gods, then treat this woman to anything she wants for the rest of her life) Otherwise, be prepared by putting on that "thick skin make-up and emotional big-gurl panties" (lol) and don't let laughter, giggles or first impression comments take the wind out of your sails. Be prepared for anything and roll with it.

I do agree also that the right hair makes all the difference between seeing a "guy in a dress" in the mirror and seeing your feminine self.

[Tina B.]

Although it was many years ago, I remember the first time I appeared dressed in front of the wife, I was a wreak, I just knew it was going to go bad, but I was wrong, she suppressed a nervous giggle, and then told me I looked great. I had to twirl and pose for her, so she could see it from all sides, and she was surprised at how well it all looked.
After that day, I was still scared every time I wanted to dress, but she would reassure me it was fine. Then one day I realized she accented Tina better than I did, do I figured, if she could accept Tina, then I should too.
I've dressed around the house any time I feel like I want to, and I'm fine with her being there, in fact I enjoy it, she always tells me how great she thinks I look, and how god my taste in clothes are.
So yes, I love dressing up and spending time with my wife.

[Nadya]

My fiancé is comfortable with my dressing around her and she even encourages it if I hadn't done it in a while. My problem comes from me. After a while of hiding this part of myself from everyone, I still sometimes feel awkward about dressing around her. It's nothing she does just my own mental hurdles I must overcome.

[CarlaWestin]

That open door of your wife wanting to see you dressed is a cautionary gift. Hopefully, this is just her attempt to try to understand you and your proclivity better. In my personal situation, the ex just wanted a picture for her secretly planned divorce, the tweener had no problem with it at all and my now wife simply hates it all and wants it to go away. I would go for it because there's always that chance she'll embrace your fabulous activity and actually help you with it. If that happens be aware of that pink fog rolling in.

[Sissyboy2]

Thanks everybody for your replies, I am newer to this forum and I very appreciate the support from the fellow ladies.

[bridget thronton]

I dress in front of my wife fairly often (even with subtle makeup) both at home and shopping outtings

[Sissyboy2]

Thanks ladies for all of your support. I am new to this site and appreciate all of your support. My thing is even with the green light I would be scared to let me see her dressed because once she sees you she can't take it back. I think i would only dress around her is if she actually wants me to and I would make sure each thing would be ok before hand. I don't mind dressing up by myself because we have another fetish that we got into so I don't want to make things to complicated.

[Stephanie47]

Stephanie is a personal thing for me. She brings a degree of comfort when I feel I am under stress or trying to avoid stress. My wife is not accepting of cross dressing. We're in a DADT situation. It took a long time for her to stop making adverse comments that she would see on television. That seems to go along with being more accepting of gays and lesbians. She has a good professional friend who is a lesbian and is married to a lesbian. I think my wife realizes people with some minor differences in their personal lives do not transform into societal ogres. Still. she did not sign onto a marriage to a cross dresser. I leave Stephanie in the closet. I doubt I would even be comfortable dressing in front of her at Halloween.

[flatlander_48]

So far my wife has not had a problem with my dressing. I do ask periodically as to her reactions in current time, but it is probably more for my piece of mind than anything else. She has been with me both times when I have gone out fully dressed. Sometimes I dress (clothes only) 3 or 4 times a week at home. Normally I sleep in feminine pajamas and sometimes with bra and forms.

Probably the only problem so far is that I don't like my wife to see me while I am in the process of dressing. Perhaps it has to do with making a clear delineation.

"20 minutes ago, I was Don. Now I am DeeAnn."

[Jaclyn]

My wife found out about me dressing in January. I started dressing in front of her almost right away. So now it's almost the norm on the weekends. I wear panties 24/7 and sleep in nightgowns on the weekends. I only have the opportunity to fully dress every once in awhile but when I do she is fine with it and we carry on as nothing is different. I haven't been out of the house dressed yet but we are discussing it and some day when were both ready we will go out.

Jackie

[Kris Avery]

I have an extremely special SO who's supports me 200% with my dressing - as long as I don't 'over involve' her.
She is not a fashionista and can't understand my obsession.

She is usually OK with her Wendy and sometimes really gets into it when she has her girlfriend near - even at bedtime. It just doesn't get any better than that.

We have established signals that she wants her man; which is her escape hatch.
It works extremely well.

Love my SO more than anything and she knows I would do my best to give it all up if she asked.

[Barbara Ella]

My wonderful wife and i have been dealing with this for right at 3 years now. Only within the last 6 months has she become accepting enough that she wants me to dress with her. I am full femme at home now when no visitors will come. We dress and go out to have a meal and drinks together. We go shopping together during out trips to Chicago. We attend the Chi Chapter meetings, and we both get dressed in front of each other in the motel room.

This did not come overnight, and not without a lot of tears. The ease with each of you can do this is really a function of how comfortable each of you are with your dressing. If you are not comfortable, ie. taking the wig off because you liked it too much, how can you expect her to like it enough to see you in it.

give it time and just talk to each other about desires and expectations.

Barbara