The REALITY thread. Dedicated to the Rookies and the closeted.

[muslegirl]

been out twice...only on halloween


great response!!

[Tiffany Jane]

I have underdressed in panties and hose at work. Made those rough mmoments at work a little easier to get through.

As I have seen cders at my work shopping, some more obvious than others I would say that I was more uncomfortable to see them, given my secret. The more I saw them, I thought good for them to be comfortable enough with themselves to be out in public. As an introvert, I find my full alter ego to be calming when at home and my inner sense of being judged in public leaves me to underdress.

[JMO2]

As REALITY seems to be in extremely short supply lately around here especially in the last few days...

TWO simple questions for qualified CDers to answer.

1] About how many times have you been out "dressed" in the RW? Just make your best guess. And just how "fully" you choose to go in your "presentation" does not matter. Any CDer worth their salt knows there is no right or wrong way to CD.

2] Have you reached the point yet where you have learned that Society is not the enemy?

None of the above implies in any way, shape or form that anyone should go out or needs to go out or that going out makes someone a better or more serious CDer.

And feel free to respond of course, even if you don't qualify but realize that complaining about something in which you have little or no experience is a bit silly and self defeating.

Let me tell you about reality. I live in a part of the US where there ARE rednecks and I look nothing like a female. To dress would be to as you quoted it above "You reached the point where you have learned that Society is the enemy?" (Minus a few words)
It would be self-suicide. My dads quote to me when he was told (back when he was alive) "I need to take him out behind the barn and beat this nonsense out of him". This part of the country where I currently live it is at least 50 years behind the times. Anything out of the norm is considered extremely strange and you are "ousted" out of the town by the towns people. Sorry if I have offended anyone but the reality of what would happen to me is something that I deal with every day. Moreover I have a family to protect more than my desire to go out dressed.

[Nadine Spirit]

1 - too numerous to count. Somewhere in the thousands according to your qualifications.

2 - and yes, long ago. Any enemy I do real battle with, exists solely in my mind.

(Interesting WAH, I agree with you for a change.)

(And I am still on the lookout for the pitchforks, I keep swearing it is going to happen one of these days, but alas, no pitchforks, no angy mobs, no torches.)

[Princess Grandpa]

I live my life in women's clothing. The wig and forms however only come out two or three times a month only. While I agree that as a rule the general public doesn't much care how we present I say it's ridiculous to pretend there aren't dangers out there. I see lots of acceptance, and my painted nails seem to draw plenty of attention from the young hotties, I am also met with plenty of scorn and ridicule. And occasionally hostility.

It strikes me as irresponsible in the extreme to preach to the newbies that going out in public doesn't carry risk of humiliation or worse. I have seen countless reports of girls hurt just for being who they are. I attended the funeral of a lovely young girl who was murdered because she was a transwoman. I don't understand why you would want to pretend everything is just so wonderful and all the dangers are in our mind?

Going out, just being who you are is one of the most empowering things you will ever do. Mostly Johnny Q public will be courteous to your face but not always. As many times as I've seen you rant about the irresponsibility of "forum induced courage" I would think you would be more honest about the possibilities out there. One might have a great time. Or they might be seen by someone they preferred didn't know their secret. Or they might be laughed at or even hurt.

Hug
Rita

[Samantha_Smile]

Some of us live in areas where there are no choices of "safe" places
to go out. Sure, there are restaurants and grocery and clothing stores/etc.
But, it's not hard to get a sense of whether or not it's a good idea to go
out as a clearly identifiable cross-dressed man.

So...if it's not safe in your area...then go somewhere where it is!

But isn't that the same thing as recognizing that "society" isn't always
so blind and/or welcoming to us? (or willing to even overlook us)

There are a lot of places we can "find out the hard way". That could be
very costly for some of us.

For every one of "us"...there are at least 95 of "them". Chances are pretty
good that a few of them aren't going to like "us". In some places, some
of them may act upon their dislike of us.

I've seen it happen.

Spot on...

There ARE 2 questions here. Not answering those 2 questions does not help the Rookies one bit.

Does it?

Neither do leading questions.

"2] Have you reached the point yet where you have learned that Society is not the enemy?"

Exactly. Pushing your opinion in the form of a question is a pretty cheap trick.
Just say your opinion rather than asking condescending, leading questions that really don't help the 'Rookies'.

And while we're on the subject...

As REALITY seems to be in extremely short supply lately around here especially in the last few days...

TWO simple questions for qualified CDers to answer.

You need a qualification?
Oh s**t, have I been practicing un-licensed all this time?
Why did no-body tell me?
How do I obtain my qualification, I don't want the gender police to come and slap me in cufflinks and a tie!

As you can see, sarcastic rhetoric doesn't come across as polite as you may think.
If you have an agenda, fine, but at least own it and come out with it.

[Katey888]

I wasn't convinced this thread was dedicated to anything other than promoting one opinion and despite letting it run I see that we come back to that premise a little too often... Before it falls a little too far into complete squalor, and for the benefit of the 'dedicated Rookies and closeted'...

FACT: Many members here have gone out in all states of attire, completely safely, some for decades - and will probably continue to do so...

FACT: Other CDs, TGs, TSs, TVs, GQs, Trans* folk (etc.) go out and are regularly verbally or physically abused - and yes, some have been murdered...

Knocking this ping pong ball back and forth further is not going to change the world or make reality any safer for those who do live in less liberal and misunderstanding environs - but so that those to whom it is dedicated can read and make up their own minds, I'll be closing it now...

Thanks to those members who contributed both perspectives of opposing but equal validity...

Katey
Moderator